Gay sex roles

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The man laying on his back is the "top" and the other man is the "bottom". Wiki-anal cowboy.jpg
The man laying on his back is the "top" and the other man is the "bottom".

In human sexuality, top, bottom, and versatile are roles during sexual activity, especially between two men. A top is usually a person who penetrates, a bottom is usually one who receives penetration, and someone who is versatile engages in either or both roles. These terms may be elements of self-identity that indicate an individual's usual preference and habits, but might also describe broader sexual identities and social roles. [1]

Contents

Top is known formally[ citation needed ] as insertive or active sex role, and bottom is known formally as receptive sex role.

The terms top and bottom do not refer to the literal physical position during sex.

For men who have sex with men and do not engage in anal sex, the term "side" has been proposed and has seen commercial use. Side men do not engage in anal sex but rather enjoy outercourse.

Top

A top is usually a person who engages in the penetrative role during sexual activity; for men who have sex with men (MSM), this often involves penetration using the penis during anal or oral sex. [1] Top is also used as a verb meaning "to penetrate another". Top may also describe a broader personal identity involving dominance in a romantic or sexual relationship; however, this stipulation is not a requisite element of being a top.

Several related terms exist. With regard to gay male sexuality, a total top or pure top is one who assumes an exclusively penetrative role for sex. [2] A power top is one noted for their great skill or aggressiveness in topping. Increasingly the term rough top is used on apps such as Grindr to describe a top who penetrates with particular aggression often as a show of masculinity, and to let the bottom know they are being sodomized hard as a way to psychologically hurt them. A service top is "one who tops under the direction of an eager bottom", or is submissive while being the one who penetrates. [3] A versatile top is one who prefers to top but who bottoms occasionally, colloquially, a soft top. [4] The terms penetrative partner [5] or giver are synonyms of top, created to describe the act of penetrating without implying non-egalitarian relations among participants.[ citation needed ]

Bottom

A bottom is usually the receptive partner during sexual penetration. This frequently refers to MSM who are penetrated via the anus during anal sex. [1] Bottom is also used as a verb meaning "to be penetrated by another, whether anally or orally". Bottom may also describe a wider social context of submission within a romantic or sexual relationship, though this element does not apply to all people who prefer to bottom, as some bottoms have been known to screech out as a form of twink fainted pain. For example, a power bottom may refer to someone who takes a more dominant role while being the receptive partner. [6]

In gay male sexuality, a total bottom is someone who assumes an exclusively receptive role during anal or oral intercourse. A versatile bottom is one who prefers to bottom but who tops occasionally. [7] The terms receiver or receptive partner may be preferred by some. An oral bottom is the exclusively receptive partner in oral sex, providing the penetrative partner, or oral top, with unreciprocated fellatio or irrumatio.

Versatile

Versatile, or vers, refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming and may alternate between the two in sexual situations. [1] [8] [9] Flip-flop or flip fuck commonly describes switching from top to bottom during one sexual encounter between two men. [10] Each participant penetrates the other and is penetrated in his turn.

Versatility is a concept of lifestyle. [11] Versatility, though, is not limited to the simple acts of anal, oral, or vaginal penetration, but also includes the splitting of duties and responsibilities in the relationship. [12]

The reciprocal scenario, where both men take turns fucking each other, is often exercised as a celebration of equality. What sets this scenario apart from the others is the versatility of the men involved. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. Some men consider it liberating; ... Versatility to them is akin to speaking two different languages. It requires a special kind of playfulness, creativity, curiosity, and coordination.

Steven G. Underwood, Gay Men and anal eroticism: tops, bottoms, and versatiles, Harrington Park Press 2003

According to some, living a versatile lifestyle implies a certain openness to new things and an opposition to labels, stereotypes and generalizations. Therefore, this concept differs from heterosexual relationships where sexual compatibility does not begin with guessing who will end up as top or bottom. [1] In self descriptions of men seeking sex with other men, they may refer to themselves as a versatile tops or versatile bottoms in addition to using other terms.

A 2009 Austrian study on gay pornography has shown that at least 82.4% of all men performing in the male porn industry are versatile at some point during their career. In this study, the performances of 5,556 actors were considered. 10.8% performed only in the top role, 6.8% only as bottoms. The study also found that the actor with the larger penis was more likely to act as the top. [13]

Side

The term side was coined in 2013 in an article by psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort [14] for gay men who are not interested in anal sex. In the article, Kort offered this definition: "Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind."

The term has gained increasingly broad acceptance since then. In May 2022, the gay dating app Grindr added Side as a position option and other apps have subsequently followed suit. [15]

Prevalence

A tally of 55,464 profiles on gay.com from the United States showed that 26.46% preferred top, while 31.92% preferred bottom, and the largest group (41.62%) preferred versatile. The preferences seemed to vary by state, however. In Wyoming, for example, 16% preferred top, 44% preferred bottom, and 40% preferred versatile. In West Virginia, tops outnumbered bottoms by a slim margin (32% top, 29% bottom, and 39% versatile). In Oregon, "versatile" profiles made up nearly half (48.42%). [16]

A study of the most recent sexual encounter among men who have sex with men found only 37.2% of participants had engaged in anal sex, while 72.7% had participated in oral sex and 68.4% in partnered masturbation. [17]

Other

General

In the hanky code, a person flagging the top, or active, role would wear the hanky in the left pocket, and the bottom, or passive, role on the right. Acts which were not divisible into distinct roles, however, such as "69" or "anything", followed a pattern in which one flagged interest by wearing the hanky on the left and absence of interest by wearing it on the right. Preferences that did not relate to sexual mechanics, such as uniform fetishism or prostitution, followed a pattern in which the seeker flagged on the right and the object of desire flagged on the left. [18]

The cowboy position is anal sex in which the bottom straddles the top. [19] The position is often cited as being advantageous for bottoms who are new to anal sex, as it allows the receiving partner to lower himself on to the other's penis at his own pace. [20]

Alternative terminology

Other terms for top and bottom include active and passive, and pitcher and catcher. [21] [22] [5] The intended meanings of active vs. passive in reference to oral sex can be unclear, however. [23] Switch is sometimes used for versatile. [24]

Role vs. position among sexualities

The terms top, bottom and versatile do not necessarily refer literally to physical position during sex. [25] For example, if the inserting partner lies on his back and the receptive partner straddles him, the inserting partner is still considered the top, and the receptive partner the bottom, despite their reverse physical arrangement.

See also

Related Research Articles

Anal sex or anal intercourse is generally the insertion and thrusting of the erect penis into a person's anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure. Other forms of anal sex include anal fingering, the use of sex toys, anilingus, pegging, as well as electrostimulation and erotic torture such as figging. Although anal sex most commonly means penile–anal penetration, sources sometimes use anal intercourse to exclusively denote penile–anal penetration, and anal sex to denote any form of anal sexual activity, especially between pairings as opposed to anal masturbation.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fellatio</span> Oral sex on the penis by a sexual partner

Fellatio is an oral sex act involving a person stimulating the penis of another by using the mouth. Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed fellatio, or colloquially as teabagging.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexual intercourse</span> Penetrative sexual activity for reproduction or sexual pleasure

Sexual intercourse is sexual activity involving the insertion and thrusting of the male penis inside the female vagina for sexual pleasure, reproduction, or both. This is also known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Sexual penetration has been known by humans since the dawn of time, and has been an instinctive form of sexual behaviour and psychology among humans. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include anal sex, oral sex, fingering and penetration by use of a dildo, and vibrators. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more people and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure. They can contribute to human bonding.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Safe sex</span> Ways to reduce the risk of acquiring STIs

Safe sex is sexual activity using methods or contraceptive devices to reduce the risk of transmitting or acquiring sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially HIV. "Safe sex" is also sometimes referred to as safer sex or protected sex to indicate that some safe sex practices do not eliminate STI risks. It is also sometimes used colloquially to describe methods aimed at preventing pregnancy that may or may not also lower STI risks.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fisting</span> Sex act

Fisting—also known as fist fucking (FF), handballing, and brachioproctic or brachiovaginal insertion—is a sexual activity that involves inserting one or more hands into the rectum or the vagina. Fisting may be performed on oneself (self-fisting) or performed on one person by another. People who engage in fisting are often called "fisters".

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Handkerchief code</span> Use of color-coded bandanas in gay and BDSM communities

The handkerchief code is a system of color-coded cloth handkerchief or bandanas for non-verbally communicating one's interests in sexual activities and fetishes. The color of the handkerchief identifies a particular activity, and the pocket it is worn in identifies the wearer's preferred role in that activity. Wearing a handkerchief on the left side of the body typically indicates one is a "top" while wearing it on the right side of the body would indicate one is a "bottom". For example, a dark blue handkerchief indicates an interest in anal sex, and wearing it in the left pocket indicates a preference for being the penetrating partner. The code was first used in the 1970s in the United States, Canada, Australia, and Europe, by gay and bisexual men seeking casual sex or BDSM practitioners. Over time the colors and types of apparel in use have greatly proliferated.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sex position</span> Position of the body used for sexual activities

A sex position is a positioning of the bodies that people use to engage in sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Sexual acts are generally described by the positions the participants adopt in order to perform those acts. Though sexual intercourse generally involves penetration of the body of one person by another, sex positions commonly involve non-penetrative sexual activities.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Missionary position</span> Sex position

The missionary position or man-on-top position is a sex position in which, generally, a woman lies on her back and spreads her legs and a man lies on top of her while they face each other and engage in vaginal intercourse. The position may also be used for other sexual activity, such as anal sex. It is commonly associated with heterosexual sexual activity, but is also used by same-sex couples. It may involve sexual penetration or non-penetrative sex, and its penile-vaginal aspect is an example of ventro-ventral (front-to-front) reproductive activity. Variations of the position allow varying degrees of clitoral stimulation, depth of penetration, participation on the part of the woman, and the likelihood and speed of orgasm.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Tribadism</span> Vulva-vulva or vulva-body rubbing

Tribadism or tribbing, commonly known by its scissoring position, is a lesbian sexual practice involving vulva-to-vulva contact or rubbing the vulva against the partner's thigh, stomach, buttocks, arm, or other body parts, especially for stimulation of the clitoris. A variety of sex positions are practiced, including the missionary position.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexual penetration</span> Sexual activity that involves inserting a persons body part into another person

Sexual penetration is the insertion of a body part or other object into a body orifice, such as the mouth, vagina or anus, as part of human sexual activity or sexual behavior in non-human animals.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Frot</span> Penis-to-penis sexual contact

Frot or frotting is a gay sexual practice that usually involves direct penis-to-penis contact. The term was popularized by gay male activists who disparaged the practice of anal sex, but has since evolved to encompass a variety of preferences for the act, which may or may not imply particular attitudes towards other sexual activities. This can also be used as some type of foreplay.

Men who have sex with men (MSM) refers to all men who engage in sexual activity with other men, regardless of their sexual orientation or sexual identity. The term was created by epidemiologists in the 1990s, to better study and communicate the spread of sexually transmitted infections such as HIV/AIDS between all sexually active males, not strictly those identifying as gay, bisexual, pansexual or various other sexualities, but also for example male prostitutes. The term is often used in medical literature and social research to describe such men as a group. It does not describe any specific kind of sexual activity, and which activities are covered by the term depends on context. An alternative term, males who have sex with males is sometimes considered more accurate in cases where those described may not be legal adults.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Oral sex</span> Sexual activity involving stimulation of the genitalia by use of the mouth

Oral sex, sometimes referred to as oral intercourse, is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the mouth. Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on the vulva while fellatio is oral sex performed on the penis. Anilingus, another form of oral sex, is oral stimulation of the anus.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Strap-on dildo</span> Device used for sexual penetration or other sexual activity

A strap-on dildo is a dildo designed to be worn, usually with a harness, during sexual activity. Harnesses and dildos are made in a wide variety of styles, with variations in how the harness fits the wearer, how the dildo attaches to the harness, as well as various features intended to facilitate stimulation of the wearer or a sexual partner. Strap-on dildos are most frequently used by lesbian women, but can be used by people of any gender or sexuality.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Homosexuality in ancient Rome</span> Sexuality in ancient Rome

Homosexuality in ancient Rome often differs markedly from the contemporary West. Latin lacks words that would precisely translate "homosexual" and "heterosexual". The primary dichotomy of ancient Roman sexuality was active /dominant / masculine and passive /submissive / feminine. Roman society was patriarchal, and the freeborn male citizen possessed political liberty (libertas) and the right to rule both himself and his household (familia). "Virtue" (virtus) was seen as an active quality through which a man (vir) defined himself. The conquest mentality and "cult of virility" shaped same-sex relations. Roman men were free to enjoy sex with other males without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status as long as they took the dominant or penetrative role. Acceptable male partners were slaves and former slaves, prostitutes, and entertainers, whose lifestyle placed them in the nebulous social realm of infamia, so they were excluded from the normal protections accorded to a citizen even if they were technically free. Freeborn male minors were off limits at certain periods in Rome.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Non-penetrative sex</span> Sexual activity that usually excludes penetration

Non-penetrative sex or outercourse is sexual activity that usually does not include sexual penetration. It generally excludes the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal, or oral sex, but includes various forms of sexual and non-sexual activity, such as frottage, manual sex, mutual masturbation, kissing, or cuddling. Some forms of non-penetrative sex, particularly when termed outercourse, include penetrative aspects, such as penetration that may result from forms of fingering or oral sex.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Pegging (sexual practice)</span> Use of a strap-on dildo to penetrate another persons anus

Pegging generally refers to a sexual activity that involves a woman wearing a strap-on dildo while performing anal penetration on a man, although the term can also be used to describe it regardless of gender roles.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Baseball metaphors for sex</span> "First base", etc., as sexual euphemism

In American slang, baseball metaphors for sex are often used as euphemisms for the degree of physical intimacy achieved in sexual encounters or relationships. In the metaphor, first prevalent in the aftermath of World War II, sexual activities are described as if they are actions in a game of baseball. Baseball has also served as the context for metaphors about sexual roles and identity.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexual practices between men</span> Sexual activity between men

Sexual activities involving men who have sex with men (MSM), regardless of their sexual orientation or sexual identity, can include anal sex, non-penetrative sex, and oral sex. Evidence shows that sex between men is significantly underreported in surveys.

Gender roles in non-heterosexual communities are a topic of much debate; some people believe traditional, heterosexual gender roles are often erroneously enforced on non-heterosexual relationships by means of heteronormative culture and attitudes towards these non-conformative relationships.

References

Notes
  1. 1 2 3 4 5 Steven Gregory Underwood (2003). Gay men and anal eroticism: tops, bottoms, and versatiles. Psychology Press. ISBN   1-56023-375-3. Archived from the original on 2021-03-10. Retrieved 2011-12-02.
  2. Gremore, Graham (4 May 2015). "What Do You Do When Your Total Top Boyfriend Refuses To Bottom?". Queerty. Archived from the original on 25 July 2015. Retrieved 24 July 2015.
  3. Rodriguez, Carissa (13 May 2015). "It's Symptomatic". Document Journal. Archived from the original on 1 August 2015. Retrieved September 5, 2015.
  4. Versatile Top Archived 2012-01-25 at the Wayback Machine . Gaylife.about.com (2012-01-01). Retrieved on 2012-01-09.
  5. 1 2 Peter M. Davies; Ford C. I. Hickson; Peter Weatherburn; Andrew J. Hunt (31 October 2013). Sex Gay Men & AIDS. Routledge. p. 120. ISBN   978-1-135-72249-4.
  6. Zane, Zachary (July 15, 2021). "What Is a Power Bottom? Here's What the Sex Term Really Means". Men's Health. Retrieved March 21, 2023.
  7. Versatile Bottom Archived 2012-01-25 at the Wayback Machine . Gaylife.about.com (2012-01-01). Retrieved on 2012-01-09.
  8. Goodreau, SM; Peinado, J; Goicochea, P; Vergara, J; Ojeda, N; Casapia, M; Ortiz, A; Zamalloa, V; et al. (2007). "Role versatility among men who have sex with men in urban Peru". Journal of Sex Research. 44 (3): 233–9. doi:10.1080/00224490701443676. PMID   17879166. S2CID   13334957. Archived from the original on 2013-10-20. Retrieved 2011-02-13.
  9. "Männer, die sowohl passiven als auch aktiven Analsex praktizieren, nennt man versatile." Archived 2012-02-26 at the Wayback Machine Georg Pfau, Präventionsmedizin für den Mann, Linz 2009
  10. Michael D. Smith, David W. Seal; Seal (2008). "Motivational Influences on the Safer Sex Behavior of Agency-based Male Sex Workers". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 37 (5): 845–53. doi:10.1007/s10508-008-9341-1. PMC   5454495 . PMID   18288599.
  11. Levine, Martin P.; Kimmel, Michael S. (1998). Gay Macho: The Life and Death of the homosexual Clone. New York: New York University Press.
  12. Jay, Karla; Young, Allen (1979). The gay report: Lesbians and gay men speak out about sexual experiences and lifestyles. New York: Summit. ISBN   0-671-40013-4.
  13. Michelides, Christian: Männlichkeitskonstruktionen der Pornografie zur Jahrtausendwende, Wien 2009
  14. Guys on the 'Side': Looking Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms Archived 2013-12-25 at the Wayback Machine Huffingtonpost.com Retrieved 2014-10-02
  15. Farber, Jim (June 20, 2022). "Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren't tops or bottoms". The Guardian. Retrieved November 27, 2022.
  16. Best states for tops, bottoms, versatiles Archived 2017-10-27 at the Wayback Machine . Straightacting.com. Retrieved on 2012-01-09.
  17. Rosenberger, Joshua; Reece, Michael; Schick, Vanessa; Herbenick, Debby; Novak, David; Van Der Pol, Barbara; Fortenberry, J. Dennis (August 24, 2011). "Sexual Behaviors and Situational Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Identified Men in the United States". The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 8 (11). Wiley: 3040–3050. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02438.x. PMID   21883941 . Retrieved November 27, 2022.
  18. "Gay Hanky Codes". Archived from the original on 2011-10-30. Retrieved 2014-02-03.
  19. The Vada Guide to Anal Sex for Men Archived 2019-12-29 at the Wayback Machine Vada Magazine. Retrieved 2018-08-27.
  20. Pink News Explainer: The Best Gay Sex Positions Archived 2019-12-29 at the Wayback Machine Pink News. Retrieved 2018-08-27.
  21. Bering, Jesse. "Top scientists get to the bottom of gay male sex role preferences". Scientific American Blog Network. Archived from the original on 2019-11-17. Retrieved 2020-02-26.
  22. "Neither here nor there: breaking free of gay stereotypes". The Bryant Archway. Archived from the original on 2020-02-26. Retrieved 2020-02-26.
  23. Bell, Robin (1999-02-13). "Homosexual men and women". BMJ: British Medical Journal. 318 (7181): 452–455. doi:10.1136/bmj.318.7181.452. ISSN   0959-8138. PMC   1114912 . PMID   9974466.
  24. "What Does It Mean to Be a "Bottom" or "Submissive" in Lesbian Sex?". Autostraddle. 2018-07-10. Archived from the original on 2020-02-26. Retrieved 2020-02-26.
  25. Topping or Bottoming – How To Know If You're A Top Or Bottom Archived 2011-11-14 at the Wayback Machine . Gaylife.about.com (2012-01-01). Retrieved on 2012-01-09.
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