J. Barnard (Barney) Pillsbury -- owner and CEO of multinational drug company Pillsbury Pharmaceuticals.
Clyde Finster -- a homeless man. Clyde cares for a rabbit named Adolf (in honor of Adolf of Osnabrück, the patron saint of alms and charity for the poor). When panhandling, Clyde refers to Adolf by his stage name, Fluffykins McNeedsahug.[5] On April 21, 2025, Clyde announced that Adolf had died.[6]
Barney's family:
Lucretia Pillsbury -- Barney's second (and current) wife.
Cynthia Pillsbury -- Barney's 11-year-old daughter from his first marriage.
Eb Pillsbury -- Barney's father, who has memory issues. He has a robotic dog, Webster.
Additional characters (alphabetical):
Charles -- Barney and Lucretia's chauffeur.
Consuela -- Barney and Lucretia's housekeeper.
Dabney Mountbatten IV -- Clyde's homeless friend.
Duane Butkis -- an assistant to Barney at his pharmaceutical company.
Horace -- a street denizen who tells arcane jokes other characters do not understand.
Ms. Foxx -- an assistant to Barney at his pharmaceutical company.
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