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Ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as consensual non-monogamy (CNM), is an umbrella term for relationships in which all partners give explicit consent to engage in romantic, intimate, and/or sexual relationships with multiple people. [1] Consensual non-monogamy differs from infidelity by the knowledge and consent of those involved.
Consensual non-monogamy can take many different forms, depending on the needs and preferences of the individuals involved in specific relationships. The most studied and prevalent forms of consensual non-monogamy are swinging, polyamory, and open relationships. [2] [3]
In a swinging relationship a couple tend to engage in sexual activities with people other than their primary partner, typically at a party or in another social settings. [4] Polyamorous relationships are those in which people experience both sexual and emotional relationships with multiple partners concurrently, placing emphasis on a romantic and emotional aspects of the relationship, rather than on strictly sexual. [4] [5] An open relationship is a relationship arrangement in which one or both partners seek sexual relationships independently of each other. [4]
Some authors suggest the concept of relationship anarchy, which describes intimate relationships characterized by principles aligned with anarchism, that include autonomy, the rejection of hierarchies, the absence of state intervention, rejection of societal norms, and a focus on community interdependence. [6] It is important to note that the above-described categories are not mutually exclusive or collectively exhaustive as individual experiences often diverge from standard definitions due to the intricate nuances inherent in the complexity of human sexual relationships. [4] [7]
It is estimated that up to 5% of Americans, [8] 2.5% of Canadians, [9] around 3% of Norwegians, [10] and 3.3% of Dutch and Flemish [11] are engaged in consensual non-monogamy at an any given time and around a quarter of the Americans, Canadians, Norwegians, and Dutch and Flemish at least once have engaged in a consensually non-monogamous relationship in their lifetime. [9] [12] [10] [11] In two surveys in 2013 and 2014, one fifth of surveyed single United States adults had, at some point in their lives, engaged in consensual non-monogamy. [13]
Romantic orientation, also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender which a person experiences romantic attraction towards or is likely to have a romantic relationship with. The term is used alongside the term "sexual orientation", as well as being used alternatively to it, based upon the perspective that sexual attraction is only a single component of a larger concept.
Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Some people who identify as polyamorous believe in consensual non-monogamy with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Swinging, earlier commonly known as hotwife or wife-swapping, is a sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes. Swinging is a form of non-monogamy. People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Practitioners cite an increased quality and quantity of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship.
Hypersexuality is a presumed mental disorder that causes unwanted or excessive sexual arousal, causing people to engage in or think about sexual activity to a point of distress or impairment. It is controversial whether it should be included as a clinical diagnosis used by mental healthcare professionals. Nymphomania and satyromania were terms previously used for the condition in women and men, respectively.
Infidelity is a violation of a couple's emotional or sexual exclusivity that commonly results in feelings of anger, sexual jealousy, and rivalry.
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual or romantic relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relationship despite the implied monogamy of marriage. There are variant forms of open marriage such as swinging and polyamory, each with the partners having varying levels of input into their spouse's activities.
An open relationship is an intimate relationship that is sexually non-monogamous. An open relationship generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary emotional and intimate relationship between partners, who agree to at least the possibility of sexual or emotional intimacy with other people. The term "open relationship" is sometimes used interchangeably with the term polyamory, but the two concepts are not identical.
The Ethical Slut is a self-help book about non-monogamy written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. In the book, Easton and Hardy discuss non-monogamy as a concept and a practice, and explore sexual practices and common challenges in non-monogamous relationships.
A rape fantasy or a ravishment is a sexual fantasy involving imagining or pretending being coerced or forcefully coercing another into sexual activity. In sexual roleplay, it involves acting out roles of coercive sex. Rape pornography is literature or images associated with rape and sometimes Stockholm syndrome as a means of sexual arousal.
An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love. Intimate relationships are interdependent, and the members of the relationship mutually influence each other. The quality and nature of the relationship depends on the interactions between individuals, and is derived from the unique context and history that builds between people over time. Social and legal institutions such as marriage acknowledge and uphold intimate relationships between people. However, intimate relationships are not necessarily monogamous or sexual, and there is wide social and cultural variability in the norms and practices of intimacy between people.
Non-monogamy is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non-dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange sex, love, and/or affection. In that sense, "nonmonogamy" may be accurately applied to extramarital sex, group marriage, or polyamory. It is not synonymous with infidelity, since all parties are consenting to the relationship structure, partners are often committed to each other as well as to their other partners and cheating is still considered problematic behavior with many non-monogamous relationships.
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour. The term "kink" has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism as a term or synonym for their practices, indicating a range of sexual and sexualistic practices from playful to sexual objectification and certain paraphilias. In the 21st century the term "kink", along with expressions like BDSM, leather and fetish, has become more commonly used than the term paraphilia. Some universities also feature student organizations focused on kinks, within the context of wider LGBTQ concerns.
Terminology within polyamory looks at the evolution and meaning of the word "polyamory" itself, as well as alternative definitions and concepts which closely relate to it.
The questioning of one's sexual orientation, sexual identity, gender, or all three is a process of exploration by people who may be unsure, still exploring, or concerned about applying a social label to themselves for various reasons. The letter "Q" is sometimes added to the end of the acronym LGBT ; the "Q" can refer to either queer or questioning.
Monogamy is a relationship of two individuals in which they form an exclusive intimate partnership. Having only one partner at any one time, whether that be for life or whether that be serial monogamy, contrasts with various forms of non-monogamy. More generally, the term is used to describe the behavioral ecology and sexual selection of animal mating systems, referring to the state of having only one mate at any one given time. In a human cultural context, monogamy typically refers to the custom of two individuals, regardless of orientation, committing to a sexually exclusive relationship.
Mutual monogamy is a form of monogamy that exists when two partners agree to be sexually active with only one another. Being in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship reduces the risk of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection (STI). It is one of the most reliable ways to avoid STIs. Those who choose mutual monogamy can be tested before the sexual relationship to be certain they are not infected. This strategy for the prevention of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection requires that each partner remain faithful and does not engage in sexual activity with another partner.
Terri Conley is an American social psychologist who studies gender differences in sexuality, consequences of departures from monogamy, and the consequences of masculinity threat. She is currently an associate professor of psychology and women's and gender studies at the University of Michigan, where she leads the Stigmatized Sexualities research lab.
Justin J. Lehmiller is an American social psychologist and author. He is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
The orgasm gap or pleasure gap is the disparity in sexual satisfaction—specifically the unequal frequency in achieving orgasm during sexual encounters—between heterosexual men and women. Across every demographic that has been studied, women report the lowest frequency of reaching orgasm during sexual encounters with men. Researchers believe that multiple causes contribute to the orgasm gap. Orgasm gap researcher Laurie Mintz argues that the primary reason for this form of gender inequality is due to "our cultural ignorance of the clitoris" and that it is commonplace to "mislabel women's genitals by the one part that gives men, but not women, reliable orgasms."
The medicalisation of sexuality is the existence and growth of medical authority over sexual experiences and sensations. The medicalisation of sexuality is contributed to by the pharmaceutical industry, along with psychiatry, psychology, and biomedical sciences more generally.
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