Part of a series on |
Non-monogamy and polyamory |
---|
Relationships (Outline) |
---|
Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term that describes a relationship arrangement where one or more partners are not sexually and/or romantically exclusive to each other. [1] Monogamy and non-monogamy are not strictly binary categories, but rather exist on a continuum encompassing various degrees of exclusivity and openness - at one end of this continuum lie strictly monogamous relationships, while at the other end are openly non-exclusive arrangements with numerous nuanced forms of varying degrees of openness in between. [2] [3] [4] [5] Non-monogamous relationships have been practiced across cultures and throughout history, reflecting diverse social norms, legal frameworks, and personal preferences. [6] [7] [8]
In contemporary discourse, non-monogamy is understood to encompass a variety of practices, ranging from culturally institutionalised arrangements like polygamy to consensual agreements such as open relationships and polyamory, as well as non-consensual forms like infidelity.
In the Western world, from a legal perspective, marrying more than one person is not permitted, as the law recognises only monogamous marriage—a union between two individuals. [9] [10] However, in many other regions, particularly Muslim-majority countries, polygamy is legally recognized and culturally normalized. [11] Another key characteristic that distinguishes different forms of nonmonogamous relationships is whether they are practiced with the knowledge and consent of all involved parties. These distinctions allow non-monogamy to be broadly categorised into three major forms:
It is important to note that the above-described categories are not mutually exclusive or collectively exhaustive as individual experiences often diverge from standard definitions due to the intricate nuances inherent in the complexity of human sexual relationships. [19] [23] The fluid and complex nature of human sexual and romantic relationships allows for diverse expressions that may not fit neatly into a single category, with subtle nuances often blurring the boundaries between these forms. [1] [17] [19]
Non-monogamy is practiced globally, but its prevalence varies significantly depending on cultural, legal, and societal factors.
Polygyny is legally recognised and regulated in many Muslim-majority countries, where Islamic law permits a man to marry up to four wives under specific conditions. In some countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Qatar, Jordan, Yemen, Algeria, and Mauritania polygyny is legal and regulated by a Family Law. [45] In other countries like Pakistan, Egypt, Iraq, Syria, Morocco, Indonesia and Malaysia polygyny is allowed only under conditions like first wife’s disability or infertility, requires the written consent of the first wife and sometimes of a judge. [11] [45] However, over the past several decades, some of the Muslim-majority countries have experienced significant reforms in Muslim Family Law and several countries have taken steps to ban polygyny, reflecting changing societal attitudes and efforts to promote gender equality. For example, Tunisia banned polygyny as part of its family law reform under president Habib Bourguiba in 1956. [46] As part of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk's secular reforms, Turkey banned polygyny in 1926, replacing Islamic family law with a Swiss-inspired civil code. [47] In Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan polygyny was prohibited under Soviet law and these bans were reaffirmed or codified into new national family laws in 1998 after these countries regained independence. [48] [49] [50]
Polyandry is considered incompatible with Sharia law and is therefore not recognised in Muslim-majority countries. [51] Polyandry persists informally in certain traditional societies, such as in the Himalayan regions of Tibet and Nepal, where fraternal polyandry helps preserve family property and manage limited agricultural land, and among communities like the Toda tribe in South India and parts of Himachal Pradesh, though it is not legally recognised. [52] [53]
In the United States, Canada, all European countries, and Russia, marriage is legally defined as a union between two individuals, and no form of polygamy is legally recognised. [54] In the United States and Canada, polygamy is strictly prohibited, with violations resulting in criminal penalties such as fines or imprisonment. [55] Across Europe, polygamous marriages are not recognised due to public policy conflicts, gender equality principles, and fundamental legal values. For example, in France and Germany, polygamy is not recognised under civil law, and attempts to enter into such unions can result in criminal charges, denial of marital benefits, or annulment of subsequent marriages. Polygamy is broadly unrecognised in European countries, posing challenges for asylum seekers with multiple spouses, as typically only one spouse is granted a residence permit and international protection. [56] However, some countries may evaluate such cases individually, considering specific circumstances. [56] [57] [58] [59]
Unlike polygamy, CNM does not involve multiple legally recognised marriages but instead consists of consensual agreements between adults to engage in multiple romantic or sexual relationships. This distinction allows CNM to operate within the bounds of the law in jurisdictions where monogamy is the legal marital standard. At the same time, the lack of legal recognition for CNM relationships means they are excluded from many legal protections, such as inheritance rights, hospital visitation, spousal visas, and parental responsibilities, as existing legal frameworks typically do not accommodate multiple concurrent partnerships. [60] [61] [23] However, in recent years Canada and some of the U.S. states have taken steps toward recognising CNM relationships. In April 2018, the Newfoundland and Labrador Supreme Court in Canada recognized three adults in a polyamorous relationship as the legal parents of a child, marking a significant precedent in family law. [62] Similarly, in June 2020, Somerville, Massachusetts, became the first U.S. city to adopt an ordinance permitting domestic partnerships involving more than two adults, thereby legally recognising CNM relationships. [63]
Consensually non-monogamous relationships have no legal recognition in Muslim-majority countries, and extramarital relationships, even consensual, are typically criminalised. [64]
Secretive non-monogamy (non-consensual non-monogamy), commonly referred to as infidelity or adultery, is addressed differently across global legal frameworks, with variations based on cultural, religious, and societal norms. In most Western nations like the United States, Canada, and much of Europe, while viewed as a moral transgression, infidelity is not punishable under criminal law. [65] Conversely, in several Muslim-majority countries and others with laws influenced by religious doctrine, infidelity is criminalised under adultery laws. [64] Countries such as Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Pakistan classify extramarital relationships as criminal acts, with punishments ranging from fines and imprisonment to flogging or, in extreme cases, capital punishment. [64] Marital infidelity is explicitly recognised as grounds for divorce under the laws of Iraq, Algeria and the United Arab Emirates. [45] In India, while adultery was decriminalized in 2018, it remains a valid ground for divorce. [66] Similarly, in some jurisdictions, infidelity laws apply differently based on gender, with women often facing harsher consequences than men. [67] [68]
In Western cultures, monogamy is widely regarded as superior to relationships involving multiple partners. [23] This preference for monogamous relationships is often referred to as mononormativity or monocentrism. [23]
Consensually non-monogamous individuals face widespread stigma and are often misunderstood due to various stereotypes and myths. [23] One of them is that those in CNM relationships are primarily motivated by a desire for more sex, leading to an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections. [23] Studies have found that individuals practicing consensual non-monogamy are more likely to engage in safer sex practices and less likely to use condoms incorrectly compared to individuals who engage in extra-dyadic sex within ostensibly monogamous relationships [69] [70] or compared to monogamous population. [71] This can be explained by the fact tha CNM individuals tend to prioritize open communication and explicit agreements about sexual boundaries, which often include discussions about safer sex practices. Several studies have explored societal attitudes toward different forms of CNM relationships, but the findings are often conflicting and inconclusive. While some research indicates more positive attitudes toward polyamorous relationships, [72] [73] emphasising emotional and romantic connections, other studies suggest that swinging or group sex, which focus primarily on sexual activity, [74] are viewed more favourably.
Social attitudes toward secretive non-monogamy are overwhelmingly negative across most cultures. While being the most prevalent form of non-monogamy and as common as monogamy, [75] secretive non-monogamy is widely condemned due to its association with betrayal, dishonesty, and the violation of trust within relationships. Factors such as societal gender norms, power dynamics, and the perceived acceptability of infidelity within certain contexts (e.g., among men versus women) influence attitudes toward non-consensual non-monogamy.
Non-monogamy introduces unique challenges to involved partners, such as managing emotions like jealousy, maintaining trust and boundaries, and navigating social stigmas. Couples are more likely to adapt positively to non-monogamy if specific foundational conditions are met. This includes both partners wanting their relationship to remain primary, the couple having an established reservoir of good will, and a minimum of lingering resentments from past hurts and betrayals. [76] A shared agreement on the decision to pursue non-monogamy, along with a sense of equality and autonomy between partners, is also crucial in building trust and navigating the complexities of a non-exclusive arrangement. [76] Studies emphasise the importance of direct communication between partners. Key topics for discussion include the degree of openness versus secrecy in their arrangement, ensuring voluntary participation and avoiding coercion and inequality, and clarity versus vagueness. [76]
While it is tempting to categorise non-monogamy in broad categories, human relationships are complex and multifaceted with many terms emerging to reflect the nuanced nature of non-monogamous arrangements. Some people use the term " monogamish " to describe relationships that are primarily monogamous but allow for some degree of flexibility in terms of sexual or romantic experiences outside the primary partnership. [77] [75] Partners in such relationships may, for example, agree to occasional flings, participation in group activities, or other consensual experiences that do not threaten the emotional core of their partnership. Similarly, the term "don't ask, don't tell" is used to describe a relationship arrangement where partners tacitly agree to allow sexual or romantic activities outside the primary relationship, but without explicitly discussing or disclosing the details of those activities. [75]
Polygyny is a form of polygamy entailing the marriage of a man to several women. The term polygyny is from Neoclassical Greek πολυγυνία (polugunía); from Ancient Greek πολύ (polú) 'many' and γυνή (gunḗ) 'woman, wife'.
Polygamy is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. When a man is married to more than one wife at the same time, it is called polygyny. When a woman is married to more than one husband at the same time, it is called polyandry. In sociobiology and zoology, researchers use polygamy in a broad sense to mean any form of multiple mating.
Polyamory is the practice of, or the desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Some people who identify as polyamorous believe in consensual non-monogamy with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Infidelity is a violation of a couple's emotional or sexual exclusivity that commonly results in feelings of anger, sexual jealousy, and rivalry.
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual or romantic relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relationship despite the implied monogamy of marriage. There are variant forms of open marriage such as swinging and polyamory, each with the partners having varying levels of input into their spouse's activities.
Polyfidelity is a type of non-monogamous relationship in which all members are recognized as equivalent to the other partners and comply to restrict sexual and romantic relationship activities to exclusively only other members within the group.
An open relationship is an intimate relationship that is sexually or romantically non-monogamous. An open relationship generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary emotional and intimate relationship between partners, who agree to at least the possibility of sexual or emotional intimacy with other people. The term "open relationship" is sometimes used interchangeably with the term polyamory, but the two concepts are not identical.
Group marriage or conjoint marriage is a marital arrangement where three or more adults enter into sexual, affective, romantic, or otherwise intimate short- or long-term partnerships, and share in any combination of finances, residences, care or kin work. Group marriage is considered a form of polygamy. While academic usage has traditionally treated group marriage as a marital arrangement, more recent usage has expanded the concept to allow for the inclusion of non-conjugal unions. Colloquial usage of group marriage has also been associated with polyamory and polyamorous families.
A mating system is a way in which a group is structured in relation to sexual behaviour. The precise meaning depends upon the context. With respect to animals, the term describes which males and females mate under which circumstances. Recognised systems include monogamy, polygamy, and promiscuity, all of which lead to different mate choice outcomes and thus these systems affect how sexual selection works in the species which practice them. In plants, the term refers to the degree and circumstances of outcrossing. In human sociobiology, the terms have been extended to encompass the formation of relationships such as marriage.
The Ethical Slut is a self-help book about non-monogamy written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. In the book, Easton and Hardy discuss non-monogamy as a concept and a practice, and explore sexual practices and common challenges in non-monogamous relationships.
The type, functions, and characteristics of marriage vary from culture to culture, and can change over time. In general there are two types: civil marriage and religious marriage, and typically marriages employ a combination of both. Marriages between people of differing religions are called interfaith marriages, while marital conversion, a more controversial concept than interfaith marriage, refers to the religious conversion of one partner to the other's religion for sake of satisfying a religious requirement.
The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to interpersonal relationships.
Extramarital sex is any act of copulation outside of marriage. Accordingly, these constitute sexual acts between two persons who are not married with each other. The term may also apply to a single person having sex with a married person.
Terminology within polyamory looks at the evolution and meaning of the word "polyamory" itself, as well as alternative definitions and concepts which closely relate to it.
A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term relationships, engagement, marriage, and civil unions.
Monogamy is a relationship of two individuals in which they form a mutual and exclusive intimate partnership. Having only one partner at any one time, whether that be for life or whether that be serial monogamy, contrasts with various forms of non-monogamy. More generally, the term is used to describe the behavioral ecology and sexual selection of animal mating systems, referring to the state of having only one mate at any one given time. In a human cultural context, monogamy typically refers to the custom of two individuals, regardless of orientation, committing to a sexually exclusive relationship.
Terri Conley is an American social psychologist who studies gender differences in sexuality, consequences of departures from monogamy, and the consequences of masculinity threat. She is currently an associate professor of psychology and women's and gender studies at the University of Michigan, where she leads the Stigmatized Sexualities research lab.
Justin J. Lehmiller is an American social psychologist and author. He is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
Polyamory in the United States is the practice of, or the desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved, in the United States. Polyamory is a relationship type that is practiced by a minority of the population in the United States, about 4 to 5 percent. According to a 2016 study, 20 percent of singles in the US have attempted some form of consensual non-monogamy at some point of their lives, such as polyamory or open relationships. In a study, polyamorous couples tend to identify as bisexual and pansexual.
Mononormativity or mono-normativity is the normative assumption that monogamy is healthier or more natural than ethical non-monogamy, as well as the societal enforcement of such an assumption. It has been widely tied to various forms of discrimination or bias against polyamory.
{{cite book}}
: CS1 maint: DOI inactive as of December 2024 (link)