Extramarital sex

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Extramarital sex is any act of copulation outside of marriage. Accordingly, these constitute sexual acts between two persons who are not married with each other. The term may also apply to a single person having sex with a married person.

Contents

Where extramarital sexual relations involving a married person do not breach a sexual norm, it may be referred to as consensual non-monogamy (see also polyamory). Where extramarital sexual relations do breach a sexual norm, it may be referred to as adultery or non-monogamy (sexual acts between a married person and a person other than the legal spouse), fornication (sexual acts between unmarried people), bigamy, philandery, or infidelity. These varying terms imply both immoral or religious consequences, charged whether via civil law or religious law.

Prevalence

American researcher Alfred Kinsey found in his 1950-era studies that 50% of American males and 26% of females had extramarital sex, representing an estimated hundred million Americans. [1] [2] Depending on studies, it was estimated that 26–50% of men and 21–38% of women, [3] or 22.7% of men and 11.6% of women had extramarital sex. [4] Other authors say that between 20% and 25% of Americans had sex with someone other than their spouse. [5] Durex's Global Sex Survey (2005) found that 44% of adults worldwide reported having had one-night extramarital sex and 22% had an affair. [6] According to a 2004 United States survey, [7] 16% of married partners have had extramarital sex, nearly twice as many men as women, while an additional 30% have fantasized about extramarital sex. According to a 2015 study by Durex and Match.com, Thailand and Denmark were the most adulterous countries based on the percentage of adults who admitted having an affair. [8] [9] A 2016 study by the Institute for Family Studies in the US found that black Protestants had a higher rate of extramarital sex than Catholics. [10] The 2022 General Social Survey found that of Americans engaging in extramarital sex, 50% identified as Protestant and 16% as Catholic. [11]

A 2018 US study found that 53.5% of Americans who admitted having extramarital sex did so with someone they knew well, such as a close friend. About 29.4% were with someone who was somewhat well-known, such as a neighbor, co-worker or long-term acquaintance, and the rest were with casual acquaintances. [12] The study also found some gender differences, such as that men are more likely than women to hold more favorable attitudes about extramarital sex, and that among those who reported having extramarital sex in the past year, about 12% of men had paid for sex (or to have received payment for sex) compared to 1% for women. [12]

Other studies have shown rates of extramarital sex as low as 2.5%. [3]

Engagement in extramarital sex has been associated with individuals who have a higher libido (sex drive) than their partner. [13]

Research of Sub-Saharan African populations report that approximately 5% to 35% of men had extramarital relationships. [14]

Religious views

Judaism

The Torah prescribes the death penalty through strangulation [15] for adultery, which is defined as sex with or by a female who is already married to another man. The Torah prescribes strict liability and punishment on the male, but liability and punishment on the female only if she was not raped (Leviticus 20:10). As a death penalty offence, two witnesses of good character had to testify in court for the case to be even considered by the judges against either or both the male and female. (Deuteronomy 19:15, and Mishnah Sanhedrin c.4)

Any physical punishments for any offences (sins) were in effect at the times of Judges and the Holy Temple. In rabbinic Judaism, any physical punishment is prohibited by Judaism—as no proper judicial process can be provided until the Holy Temple is rebuilt by the Messiah. [16]

Christianity

Traditionalist Christianity teaches that extramarital sex is both immoral and sinful by nature. Scriptural foundations for this Biblical teaching are cited as following:

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate (eunuchs and homosexuals), nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. — 1 Corinthians 6:9–10 (Latin Vulgate):

Accordingly, a Catholic wedding strictly teaches that a husband and wife publicly promise fidelity to each other until death, which is the sole reason for the dissolution of a Sacramental Marriage. Consequentially, both Adultery and Divorce contradicts this nuptial promise by breach made to the covenant of Holy Mother Church.

The Order of Waldensians were accused of expressing approval of adultery in certain rare circumstances. [17]

In contrast, some select modernist Protestant denominations, such as the Episcopalian sect today hold liberal and progressive views on extramarital sex and relations, adhering to their own personal interpretations of the Holy Bible and its relevancy to modern lifestyles.

Islam

Traditional interpretations of Islamic law (or Sharia) prescribe severe punishments for zina , or extramarital sex, by both men and women. Premarital sex could be punished by up to 100 lashes, while adultery is punishable by stoning. The act of sexual penetration must, however, be attested by at least four male Muslim witnesses of good character, the accused has a right to testify in court, the suspect's word or testimony is required to hold the most weight in the eyes of the judge(s), punishments are reserved to the legal authorities and the law states that false accusations are to be punished severely. [18] The former regulations also make some Muslims believe, that the process's goal was to eventually abolish the physical penalties relating to acts of fornication and adultery that were already present within many societies around the world when Islamic teachings first arose. According to this view, the principles are so rigorous in their search for evidence, that they create the near impossibility of being able to reach a verdict that goes against the suspect in any manner. [19]

Hinduism

Hinduism condemns extramarital sex as sin. [20] According to the Hindu Dharmashastra texts, any sexual act outside of the accepted marriage, including physical, mental, and emotional adultery, are denounced. Various Hindu texts state the occurrences of Hindu gods engaging in extramarital sex. While these narratives state such situations to occur, research has noted that the term has been created by humans. This means that humans who hold Hindu beliefs should restrain from such acts. [21]

Law

Extramarital sex is legal in most jurisdictions, but laws against adultery are more common. In the United States, for example, Virginia prosecuted John Bushey for adultery in 2004. [22] Other states allow jilted spouses to sue their ex-partners' lovers for alienation of affections. [22]

Extramarital sex is illegal in some Muslim-majority countries, including Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, [23] Afghanistan, [24] [25] [26] Egypt, [27] Iran, [26] Kuwait, [28] Maldives, [29] Morocco, [30] Oman, [31] Mauritania, [32] United Arab Emirates, [33] [34] Qatar, [35] Sudan, [36] and Yemen. [37]

Attitudes toward extramarital sex

A person's attitude towards extramarital sex is associated with their likelihood of engaging in extramarital sex. [38] While some extramarital sex is deceptive, other forms are open and spouses share an understanding of its engagement. Extramarital sex poses a problem to marriage when it violates expectations of fidelity. [39] The theory behind fidelity is thought to be a combination of moral standards and social exchange processes. The latter is based on the investment model of commitment and interdependence theory. [40]

Motivations

Motivations behind the act of extramarital sex vary. Feelings can be more difficult to control than behavior. People may engage in the act due to feelings of dissatisfaction emotionally/physically in the marriage and imbalance in the relationship resource-wise. The intimacy vs passion argument provides reason such that it can revive passionate arousal. This contrasts to the marriage of the committed partner as they may feel they have them well understood, with little passion between them. However, an opportunity to engage in extramarital sex must also be present, where the risks are weighed less than the reasons to engage. [39]

Factors

Factors that are negatively associated with a spouse engaging with extramarital sex are (1) strong moral standards, (2) considering the effect(s) on the children, (3) fundamental anxieties, specifically the fear of being alone, and (4) not wanting to hurt other people, specifically the extramarital partner. Of these factors, moral standards and fundamental anxieties are more likely to accurately gauge a spouse not pursuing extramarital sex. [40]

Gender Differences

Men are noted to find sexual infidelity more hurtful than emotional infidelity. [39] In terms of behavior, men are more likely to report having extramarital sex. Possible explanations for this span from the evolutionary perspective which indicates that it is a genetic advantage for men to have multiple partners. [38]

While both men and women were equally likely to have extramarital sex with a close personal friend, a long-term acquaintance, or someone not within those categories, it was noticed that men are more likely to have a extramarital sex with a casual date or hook-up. Men were significantly more likely to report having paid for extramarital sex. [40]

Impacts

The identity of the extramarital sexual partner can impact the marriage of the partner who engaged in such behavior, thereby increasing the risk of destabilizing it. The gender of the spouse engaging in the extramarital sex does not matter – the resulting increased risk of disruption on the marriage is the same. [39] Relationships with an extramarital sexual partner who is a close friend as well as this behavior in general is associated with marriage dissolution. [41]

The damaging effect of extramarital sex on marriages is undeterred by the quality of the marriage, the length of the marriage, attitude toward divorce by the recipient spouse, advice from third parties, and the presence of children in the household. The effect on more religious couples is noted to be very strong as well, though if the wife is in the workforce the effect of extramarital sex on the marriage is noted to be weaker. [39]

See also

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Chastity</span> Ethic concept of temperance related to sexuality

Chastity, also known as purity, is a virtue related to temperance. Someone who is chaste refrains from sexual activity that is considered immoral or from any sexual activity, according to their state of life. In some contexts, for example when making a vow of chastity, chastity means celibacy.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Marriage</span> Culturally recognised union between people

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. It is nearly a cultural universal, but the definition of marriage varies between cultures and religions, and over time. Typically, it is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing sexual activity. A marriage ceremony is called a wedding, while a private marriage is sometimes called an elopement.

Divorce is the process of terminating a marriage or marital union. Divorce usually entails the canceling or reorganising of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the rule of law of the particular country or state. It can be said to be a legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. It is the legal process of ending a marriage.

Adultery is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal consequences, the concept exists in many cultures and shares some similarities in Christianity, Judaism and Islam. Adultery is viewed by many jurisdictions as offensive to public morals, undermining the marriage relationship.

Promiscuity is the practice of engaging in sexual activity frequently with different partners or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. The term can carry a moral judgment. A common example of behavior viewed as promiscuous by many cultures is the one-night stand, and its frequency is used by researchers as a marker for promiscuity.

An affair is a relationship typically between two people, one or both of whom are either married or in a long-term relationship with someone else. The affair can be solely sexual or solely physical or solely emotional – or a combination of these. People who involve themselves in affairs do so out of the need for just sex, an intimate relationship, passionate attachment or a combination, which is often referred to as a "soul tie".

A crime of passion, in popular usage, refers to a violent crime, especially homicide, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as anger or jealousy rather than as a premeditated crime. A high level of social and legal acceptance of crimes of passion has been historically associated with France from the 19th century to the 1970s, and until recently with Latin America.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Infidelity</span> Cheating, adultery, or having an affair

Infidelity is a violation of a couple's emotional or sexual exclusivity that commonly results in feelings of anger, sexual jealousy, and rivalry.

Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual or romantic relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relationship despite the implied monogamy of marriage. There are variant forms of open marriage such as swinging and polyamory, each with the partners having varying levels of input into their spouse's activities.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Premarital sex</span> Sexual activity before marriage

Premarital sex is sex before marriage. Premarital sex is sex between two people who are not married to each other. Premarital sex is considered a sin by a number of religions and also considered a moral issue which is taboo in many cultures. Since the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, it has become accepted by certain liberal movements, especially in Western countries. A 2014 Pew study on global morality found that premarital sex was considered particularly unacceptable in "Muslim Majority Countries", such as Malaysia, Jordan and Pakistan, each having over 90% disapproval, while people in Western European countries were the most accepting, with Spain, Germany, and France expressing less than 10% disapproval.

The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to interpersonal relationships.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexless marriage</span> Marital union with little or no sexual activity between the spouses

Sexless marriage or platonic marriage is a marital union that occurs between spouses in which there is little or no sexual activity involved in their relationship. Taking into account what is defined as any form of sexual activities by the respective partners. The most common cause of a decline in sexual frequency is aging, followed by marital unhappiness. Having children, sexual boredom, busy work schedules, and spousal infidelity are all factors that can lead to a sexless marriage. Marriage in some cultures culminates in a sexless union for cultural, religious, or political reasons.

The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">HIV/AIDS in Malawi</span> Impact of the immunodeficiency virus in the African nation

As of 2012, approximately 1,100,000 people in Malawi are HIV-positive, which represents 10.8% of the country's population. Because the Malawian government was initially slow to respond to the epidemic under the leadership of Hastings Banda (1966–1994), the prevalence of HIV/AIDS increased drastically between 1985, when the disease was first identified in Malawi, and 1993, when HIV prevalence rates were estimated to be as high as 30% among pregnant women. The Malawian food crisis in 2002 resulted, at least in part, from a loss of agricultural productivity due to the prevalence of HIV/AIDS. Various degrees of government involvement under the leadership of Bakili Muluzi (1994–2004) and Bingu wa Mutharika (2004–2012) resulted in a gradual decline in HIV prevalence, and, in 2003, many people living in Malawi gained access to antiretroviral therapy. Condoms have become more widely available to the public through non-governmental organizations, and more Malawians are taking advantage of HIV testing services.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Thou shalt not commit adultery</span> One of the Ten Commandments

"Thou shalt not commit adultery" is found in the Book of Exodus of the Hebrew Bible. It is considered the sixth commandment by Roman Catholic and Lutheran authorities, but the seventh by Jewish and most Protestant authorities. What constitutes adultery is not plainly defined in this passage of the Bible, and has been the subject of debate within Judaism and Christianity. The term fornication means illicit sex, prostitution, idolatry and lawlessness.

Forbidden relationships in Judaism are intimate relationships which are forbidden by prohibitions in the Torah or rabbinical injunctions.

Promiscuity tends to be frowned upon by many societies that expect most members to have committed, long-term relationships. Among women, as well as men, inclination for sex outside committed relationships is correlated with a high libido; however, evolutionary biology, as well as social and cultural factors, have also been observed to influence sexual behavior and opinion.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fornication</span> Non-marital sexual intercourse

Fornication is generally consensual sexual intercourse between two people not married to each other. When one or more of the partners having consensual sexual intercourse is married to another person, it is called adultery. John Calvin viewed adultery to be any sexual act that is outside the divine model for sexual intercourse, which includes fornication.

The history of adultery in English law is a complex topic, including changing understandings of what sexual acts constituted adultery, unequal treatment of men and women under the law, and competing jurisdictions of secular and ecclesiastical authorities. Prosecution for adultery as such ceased to be possible in English law in 1970.

Adultery laws are the laws in various countries that deal with extramarital sex. Historically, many cultures considered adultery a very serious crime, some subject to severe punishment, especially in the case of extramarital sex involving a married woman and a man other than her husband, with penalties including capital punishment, mutilation, or torture. Such punishments have gradually fallen into disfavor, especially in Western countries from the 19th century. In countries where adultery is still a criminal offense, punishments range from fines to caning and even capital punishment. Since the 20th century, criminal laws against adultery have become controversial, with most Western countries repealing them.

References

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  2. ↑ The Kinsey Institute. Data from Alfred Kinsey's Studies Archived 2010-07-26 at the Wayback Machine . Published online.
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  38. 1 2 Labrecque, Lindsay T.; Whisman, Mark A. (October 2017). "Attitudes toward and prevalence of extramarital sex and descriptions of extramarital partners in the 21st century". Journal of Family Psychology. 31 (7): 952–957. doi:10.1037/fam0000280. ISSN   1939-1293. PMID   28517944. S2CID   46711653.
  39. 1 2 3 4 5 DeMaris, Alfred (2013-01-04). "Burning the Candle at Both Ends". Journal of Family Issues. 34 (11): 1474–1499. doi:10.1177/0192513x12470833. ISSN   0192-513X. PMC   3951093 . PMID   24634559.
  40. 1 2 3 Ziv, Ido; Lubin, Or Ben-Haim; Asher, Sapir (2017-07-28). ""I Swear I Will Never Betray You": Factors Reported by Spouses as Helping Them Resist Extramarital Sex in Relation to Gender, Marriage Length, and Religiosity". The Journal of Sex Research. 55 (2): 236–251. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1347602. ISSN   0022-4499. PMID   28753393. S2CID   29428986.
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