| Definition | Discordance of romantic attraction and sexual attraction to others |
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| Abbreviations | SAM |
| Sexual orientation |
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| Sexual orientations |
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The split attraction model (SAM) is a model in psychology that distinguishes between a person's romantic and sexual attraction, allowing the two to be different from each other. [1] [2] [3]
The first recorded conceptualization of orientation that took into account split attraction was in 1879 by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a German writer who published 12 books on non-heterosexual attraction. In these books, Ulrichs has presented several classifications that are quite similar to modern LGBTQIA+ identities. Among his works, he described people who are "konjunktiver Uranodioning " and "disjunktiver Uranodioning" or conjunctive bisexuality and disjunctive bisexuality. The former is described as having tender and passionate feelings for both men and women, which would be a biromantic bisexual in modern times. The second is one who has tender feelings for people of the same gender/sex, but 'in love' feelings for people of a different gender/sex, which would now be a heteroromantic homosexual. However, the Ulrichs model never became popular due to its complexity. [4] [5]
A newer example of the separation of sexual and romantic attractions was in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, with the publication of her book Love and Limerence – the Experience of Being in Love. In the book, Tennov described limerence as a form of attraction that could be described as a crush on someone. Although Tennov saw sex as part of limerence, she recognized that it was not its main focus. [6] The term "non-limerent" is sometimes considered the precursor of aromantic. [7] [8] [ page needed ]
The modern concept of the split attraction model was coined by the asexual and aromantic communities to better describe their identities within the community and to others. The term likely emerged around 2015, though the concept of split attractions had been in use since the origination of the term aromantic in 2005. [9] [10] The model helps people explain how they can still experience certain aspects of one attraction without the need for the other to be a match. A recent research study looked deeper into the relationships of asexuals to help explain how people still form meaningful connections, despite deviance of societal norms. [11] [12]
Relationships formed by people that identify under the split attraction model are often considered outside the norm and may include forms of committed friendships or intimate non-romantic relationships such as queerplatonic relationships.
In a practical application of the model, people of the community commonly refer to themselves by two terms to indicate the differing romantic and sexual attraction; examples include aromantic asexual, colloquially shortened aro-ace , panromantic demisexual or aromantic bisexual. [1] [13] Specific terms exist, such as varioriented and perioriented, describing those with different or similar orientations, respectively. For example, a homoromantic bisexual would be varioriented, while a heteroromantic heterosexual would be labeled as perioriented. [14] [ page needed ] [15] [ page needed ] [16] [ page needed ]
The concept and term are most commonly used within the LGBTQIA+ community, but more recent research found that it may also apply to people outside of the community that are just not yet familiar with the concept. [17]
The concept that there is a distinction between romantic orientation and sexual orientation has not been studied extensively. [19] [ page needed ] American psychologist Lisa M. Diamond, who focuses her studies on sexual orientation and identity, has stated that a person's romantic orientation can differ from whom the person is sexually attracted to. [20] While there is limited research on the discordance between sexual attraction and romantic attraction in individuals, the possibility of fluidity and diversity in attractions have been progressively recognized. [21] [17] [12]
In a 2022 book edited by psychologists Angela M. Schubert and Mark Pope, authors Stacey Litam and Megan Speciale refer to an article by Michael Paramo published in Aze that identifies other forms of attraction beyond sexual and romantic attraction, including aesthetic, emotional, intellectual, and sensual attraction, to argue that these forms of attraction should also be considered in interpersonal relationships. [18] Paramo argued in a 2024 book that splitting attraction can influence people to re-imagine their relationships differently when forms of attraction are not placed in a hierarchy. [22]
A 2022 study found that while there is some concordance between romantic orientation and sexual orientation, the two were not a complete match, suggesting that the experience of split attraction between romantic and sexual orientation exists in both asexual and non-asexual people. [17] A 2023 study noted that there is a general misunderstanding that different forms of attraction can exist concurrently both within and external to the LGBTQ community. [23]
Romantic orientation, also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender which a person experiences romantic attraction towards or is likely to have a romantic relationship with. The term is used alongside the term "sexual orientation", as well as being used alternatively to it, based upon the perspective that sexual attraction is only a single component of a larger concept.
Limerence is a state of mind resulting from romantic feelings for another person. It typically involves intrusive and melancholic thoughts, or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection, along with a desire for the reciprocation of one's feelings and to form a relationship with the object of love.
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof. It may also be categorized more widely, to include a broad spectrum of asexual sub-identities.
Sexual identity refers to one's self-perception in terms of romantic or sexual attraction towards others, though not mutually exclusive, and can be different from romantic identity. Sexual identity may also refer to sexual orientation identity, which is when people identify or dis-identify with a sexual orientation or choose not to identify with a sexual orientation. Sexual identity and sexual behavior are closely related to sexual orientation, but they are distinguished, with identity referring to an individual's conception of themselves, behavior referring to actual sexual acts performed by the individual, and sexual orientation referring to romantic or sexual attractions toward persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, to both sexes or more than one gender, or to no one.
A mixed-orientation marriage is a marriage between partners of differing sexual orientations. The broader term is mixed-orientation relationship, sometimes shortened to MOR or MORE.
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which an individual does not experience primary sexual attraction – the type of attraction that is based on immediately observable characteristics such as appearance or smell and is experienced immediately after a first encounter. A demisexual person can only experience secondary sexual attraction – the type of attraction that occurs after the development of an emotional bond. The amount of time that a demisexual individual needs to know another person before developing sexual attraction towards them varies from person to person. Demisexuality is generally categorized on the asexuality spectrum.
The following outline offers an overview and guide to LGBTQ topics:
Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterized by experiencing little to no romantic attraction. The term "aromantic", colloquially shortened to "aro", refers to a person whose romantic orientation is aromanticism.
Gray asexuality, grey asexuality, or gray-sexuality is the spectrum between asexuality and allosexuality. Individuals who identify with gray asexuality are referred to as being gray-A, gray ace, and make up what is referred to as the "ace umbrella". Within this spectrum are terms such as demisexual, semisexual, asexual-ish and sexual-ish.
This is a timeline of asexual history worldwide. The briefness of this timeline can be attributed to the fact that acceptance of asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research is still relatively new.
Discrimination against asexual people, also known as acephobia or aphobia when directed at aspec people, encompasses a range of negative attitudes, behaviours, and feelings toward asexuality or people who identify as part of the asexual spectrum. Negative feelings or characterisations toward asexuality include dehumanisation, the belief that asexuality is a mental illness, that asexual people cannot feel love, and the refusal to accept asexuality as a genuine sexual orientation. Asexuality is sometimes confused with celibacy, abstinence, antisexualism, or hyposexuality. Since discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation belongs under the wider social concept of kyriarchy, any acephobic acts due to intentional discrimination are a form of kyriarchy.
The portrayals of asexuality in the media reflect societal attitudes towards asexuality, reflected in the existing media portrayals. Throughout history, asexual characters have appeared in television series, animated series, literature, comics, video games, music, and film.
Allosexuality is the ability to experience sexual attraction and the lack of identification with asexuality. Someone who experiences allosexuality is allosexual, sometimes shortened to allo. Other terms to describe non-asexual people include zedsexual, or simply sexual.
Queerplatonic relationships (QPR), also known as queerplatonic partnerships (QPP), are committed intimate relationships between significant others whose relationship is not romantic in nature. A queerplatonic relationship differs from a close friendship by having the same explicit commitment, status, and structure as a formal romantic relationship, whilst it differs from a romantic relationship by not involving feelings of romantic love. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. Like romantic relationships, queerplatonic relationships are sometimes said to involve a deeper and more profound emotional connection than typical friendship.
Aze is a literary magazine for asexual, aromantic, and agender people that was created in 2016 and publishes issues online. It was formerly known as The Asexual until 2019 when it expanded to include aromantic and agender people. The magazine publishes visual art, poetry, and personal and academic essays on the subjects of asexuality, aromanticism, and agender experiences and their various intersections. It was founded by Michael Paramo.
Michael Paramo is a writer, academic, and artist known for founding the literary magazine Aze and for their work examining interpersonal attraction and love with consideration to asexuality, aromanticism, and agender identity. Paramo identifies on the asexual and aromantic spectrum and advocates for people of similar experience to express themselves toward expanding society's ideas of human sexuality, romance, and gender identity. They published a book Ending the Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism, and Agender Identity in 2024.
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