Casual dating

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A casual relationship is sometimes referred to as a "no strings attached" relationship or as a situationship. Hai woJian rukatsupuru(Lian Ren )PA071017.jpg
A casual relationship is sometimes referred to as a "no strings attached" relationship or as a situationship.

Casual dating or a casual relationship is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship while staying loyal to each other without necessarily demanding or expecting the additional commitments of a more formal romantic relationship. Motives for casual relationships vary. [1] There are significant gender and cultural differences in acceptance of and breadth of casual relationships, [2] [3] [4] [5] as well as in regrets about action/inaction in those relationships. [6]

Contents

Casual dating may or may not entail partner-exclusivity. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to. Casual relationships sometimes include mutual support, affection and enjoyment, which underpin other forms of loving relationship. [7]

A casual relationship is sometimes referred to as a "no strings attached" relationship, as a situationship, or as a fling.

College students

A "no strings attached" relationship is most commonly found in young adults such as college students. [8] The shift from childhood to adulthood brings on much exploration in different fields. One of these fields include relationships and sexual activity. [8] Grello et al.'s study suggests that, in most cases, students who lost their virginity in high school did so in a romantic relationship. [8] After experiencing sexual intercourse, many college students go on to have casual sex with either friends or peers they have been recently or newly acquainted with. [8]

A casual relationship, unlike a romantic relationship, is difficult to ascribe norms, scripts, and expectations to. [9] Rebecca Plante, an associate professor at Ithaca College who has specialized in research on casual relationships, says that this type of relationship can be beneficial, saying that casual relationships can establish a "healthy outlet for sexual needs and desires." [9]

Types of college-aged lovers

J.A. Lee defined two main types of lovers for college aged young adults: "Eros" lovers who are passionate lovers, and "Ludas" or "Ludic" lovers, which are game-playing lovers. [10] "Eros" lovers are lovers that immediately form a close connection. They fall in love with the physical appearance of another before considering other characteristics of the person. This type of lover also commits to casual sex relationships. [10] Because physical appearance is the main reason for their attraction, it is difficult for a genuine romantic relationship to form. [8] "Ludic" lovers look for the feeling of a conquest, and typically enter a relationship or hook-up with very little or no intentions of commitment. In most cases, they will have more than one sexually active partner at a given time. They also find it difficult to consider a serious relationship. [10]

Negotiation between participants

Many casual relationships establish guidelines or a set of rules. The two participants in the relationship will reach an agreement about what each expects from the relationship. Another major concern is that one of the partners will develop romantic feelings for the other. [11] Communication between the two partners is essential to making this type of relationship work and because the partners in the casual relationship are often friends beforehand, talking to one another is a much simpler task. [11]

Relationship maintenance and student concerns

Casual relationships, being a mix between a friendship and a non-romantic sexual relationship, result in the partners facing many challenges in maintaining a working relationship. Based on the exchange theory, Hughes witnessed an individual dependency on either partner as the exchange of resources, knowledge, rewards, and costs of items, becomes more and more prominent. [12] The partners may become dependent on advice the other partner gives, or the company they receive when being around one another. This may be a one-way street and one partner may not feel this way. [12] Any partner that is not fully dependent upon the other typically controls the casual relationship. The dependent partner is more submissive to their dominant partner as they do not want the relationship to end. [12] This allows the less dependent partner to be able to fix and maintain the relationship the way he/she wants it to be. They normally control when they meet up, when they have sex, and when they do things together. [12]

Disclosure of casual relationship to peers

Hughes's study also revealed the four main categories of why partners participating in a casual relationship did not feel the need to tell their same sex friends about the relationship. The first category was that the partners did not feel that their same sex friends needed to know this information. [12] The second category consisted of people wanting to keep the casual relationship a secret and did not want their same sex friends to know. [12] The feeling of embarrassment was the third category. Many students said that they would feel ashamed or did not want to be judged by their same sex friends. [12] The final category is students who did not want to tell their same sex friends because they would show disapproval of the relationship. [12]

Motivations

Hughes's study suggests that there were five main motivations to why college students wanted to be in a casual relationship. [12] The five main motivators are:

Gender participation

A traditional stereotype of heterosexual casual relationships in college is that the men initiate the sexual activity. [13] Another stereotype is that men are more sexually active and women link sex with romance. This is not true all the time, especially in college students. [13]

A study conducted by Paul and her team suggests that when it comes to gender participation, there are just as many women initiating these relationships. [13] Pressure from friends and other social means may persuade college students to participate in a casual relationship or "hook-up" regardless of their gender. [13]

Many casual dating sites have an unbalanced gender ratio, [14] as they have much more men than women. Some of these sites are animating their male users to keep them interested or to lure them into paid subscriptions. Usually, these animated casual dating sites are stating this directly in their Terms of Service (as they could be sued otherwise for fraud). As most users do not read Terms of Service [15] when they register on a new website, the animation stays hidden for most users.

Environmental factors

Alcohol consumption and parties often take place on college and university campuses. [13] Promiscuity is also prevalent. [13] Being placed in an environment of sexually active students can put pressure on other students to consume alcohol, become sexually active, and engage in casual dating. [13] Colleges and universities known for a larger alcohol consumption by their students seem to also have a larger number of students participating in casual relationships. [8] [13] Researchers have struggled with the idea that the "perceived disinhibitory function" leads to the reason for increased sexual activity. [13]

Casual sex

Casual sex are certain types of sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship. Although individuals in a casual relationship may engage in casual sex, the former encompasses a range of activities not confined to the context of the latter. [16] [17]

In sexual relationships among teenagers in the U.S., it is common that penetrative sex is not the predominant sexual activity. Rather oral sex and manual sex are more common, as this reduces the risks associated with sexual promiscuity, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Some teenagers do not view oral sex as "real sex" and use it to retain what they consider "technical" virginity. [18] [19]

A common aspect of casual sex is that sexual activity occurs within a relationship between two partners that have no commitment to one another. Casual sex presents itself as less risky than random sexual activity because of the person's prior knowledge of the partner they are engaging in sexual activity with. [13] When participating in casual sex, a person may be more likely to know their partner (on a more personal level) than someone they just had a one-night stand with. [13]

See also

Related Research Articles

Anal sex or anal intercourse is generally the insertion and thrusting of the erect penis into a person's anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure. Other forms of anal sex include anal fingering, the use of sex toys, anilingus, pegging, as well as electrostimulation and erotic torture such as figging. Although anal sex most commonly means penile–anal penetration, sources sometimes use anal intercourse to exclusively denote penile–anal penetration, and anal sex to denote any form of anal sexual activity, especially between pairings as opposed to anal masturbation.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fellatio</span> Oral sex on the penis by a sexual partner

Fellatio is an oral sex act consisting of the stimulation of a penis by using the mouth. Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed fellatio, or colloquially as teabagging.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Human sexual activity</span> Manner in which humans engage sexually

Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone to acts with another person in varying patterns of frequency, for a wide variety of reasons. Sexual activity usually results in sexual arousal and physiological changes in the aroused person, some of which are pronounced while others are more subtle. Sexual activity may also include conduct and activities which are intended to arouse the sexual interest of another or enhance the sex life of another, such as strategies to find or attract partners, or personal interactions between individuals. Sexual activity may follow sexual arousal.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexual intercourse</span> Penetrative sexual activity for reproduction or sexual pleasure

Sexual intercourse is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion and thrusting of the male penis inside the female vagina for sexual pleasure, reproduction, or both. This is also known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Sexual penetration has been known by humans since the dawn of time, and has been an instinctive form of sexual behaviour and psychology among humans. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include anal sex, oral sex, fingering and penetration by use of a dildo, and vibrators. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more people and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure. They can contribute to human bonding.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Virginity</span> State of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse

Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse; it is considered a social construct, not an objective term with an operational definition. Social definitions of virginity therefore vary. Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex, or manual sex in their definitions of losing one's virginity. The term virgin encompasses a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern and ethical concepts. Religious rituals for regaining virginity exist in many cultures. Some men and women consider themselves born-again virgins.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Seduction</span> Enticing a person to sexual behaviour

In sexuality, seduction means enticing someone else into sexual intercourse or other sexual activity. Strategies of seduction include conversation and sexual scripts, paralingual features, non-verbal communication, and short-term behavioural strategies.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Premarital sex</span> Sexual activity before marriage

Premarital sex is sex before marriage. Premarital sex is sex between two people who are not married to each other. Premarital sex is considered a sin by a number of religions and also considered a moral issue which is taboo in many cultures. Since the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, it has become accepted by certain liberal movements, especially in Western countries. A 2014 Pew study on global morality found that premarital sex was considered particularly unacceptable in "Muslim Majority Countries", such as Malaysia, Jordan and Pakistan, each having over 90% disapproval, while people in Western European countries were the most accepting, with Spain, Germany, and France expressing less than 10% disapproval.

Sociosexuality, sometimes called sociosexual orientation, is the individual difference in the willingness to engage in sexual activity outside of a committed relationship. Individuals who are more restricted sociosexually are less willing to engage in casual sex; they prefer greater love, commitment and emotional closeness before having sex with romantic partners. Individuals who are more unrestricted sociosexually are more willing to have casual sex and are more comfortable engaging in sex without love, commitment or closeness.

Going steady is when two romantic partners agree to an exclusive relationship. Growing in prevalence in the United States after World War II, this pattern became mainstream in high schools and colleges in the 1950s. Its popularity continued through the 1980s, with teenagers beginning to go steady at progressively earlier ages. However, the label "going steady" fell into disuse in the 1970s.

Casual sex is sexual activity that takes place outside a romantic relationship and implies an absence of commitment, emotional attachment, or familiarity between sexual partners. Examples are sexual activity while casually dating, one-night stands, prostitution or swinging and friends with benefits relationships.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Oral sex</span> Sexual activity involving stimulation of the genitalia by use of the mouth

Oral sex, sometimes referred to as oral intercourse, is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the mouth. Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on the vulva while fellatio is oral sex performed on the penis. Anilingus, another form of oral sex, is oral stimulation of the anus.

A cross-sex friendship is a platonic relationship between two unrelated people of differing sexes or gender. There are multiple types of cross-sex friendships, all defined by whether or not each party has a romantic attraction to each other, or perceives that the other is interested. A few theories have been developed to explain the existence of such friendships. Research has been done on why men and women initiate these relationships, how they are perceived by others, implications for children with cross-sex friendships, among others. Cross-sex friendships can also create problems for those involved if either or both have or ever had any romantic feelings for the other.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Female sex tourism</span> Female tourists who travel to engage in sexual activities

Female sex tourism is sex tourism by women who travel intending to engage in sexual activities with one or more locals, including male sex workers. Female sex tourists may seek aspects of the sexual relationship not typically shared by male sex tourists, such as perceived romance and intimacy. The incidence of female sex tourism is much lower than male sex tourism, and the low number of female sex tourists makes it difficult to research this phenomenon, which has been described as "poorly understood".

Adolescent sexuality is a stage of human development in which adolescents experience and explore sexual feelings. Interest in sexuality intensifies during the onset of puberty, and sexuality is often a vital aspect of teenagers' lives. Sexual interest may be expressed in a number of ways, such as flirting, kissing, masturbation, or having sex with a partner. Sexual interest among adolescents, as among adults, can vary greatly, and is influenced by cultural norms and mores, sex education, as well as comprehensive sexuality education provided, sexual orientation, and social controls such as age-of-consent laws.

The sexuality of US adolescents includes their feelings, behaviors and development, and the place adolescent sexuality has in American society, including the response of the government, educators, parents, and other interested groups.

The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Non-penetrative sex</span> Sexual activity that usually excludes penetration

Non-penetrative sex or outercourse is sexual activity that usually does not include sexual penetration, but some forms, particularly when termed outercourse, include penetrative aspects, that may result from forms of fingering or oral sex. It generally excludes the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal, or oral sex, but includes various forms of sexual and non-sexual activity, such as frottage, manual sex, mutual masturbation, kissing, or hugging.

Hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding or a committed relationship. It is generally associated with Western late adolescent sexuality and, in particular, United States college culture. The term hookup has an ambiguous definition because it can indicate kissing or any form of physical sexual activity between sexual partners. The term has been widely used in the U.S. since at least 2000. It has also been called nonrelationship sex, or sex without dating.

Sexual guilt is a negative emotional response associated with the feeling of anxiety, guilt, or shame in relation to sexual activity. Also known as sexual shame, it is linked with the negative social stigma and cultural expectations that are held towards sex as well as the historical religious opposition of all "immoral" sexual acts. It originates from the negative pressures exerted upon individuals during the course of their lives due to parental and religious teachings concerning sexual activity and expression. Participation in sexual intercourse does not need to occur in order for an individual to experience sexual guilt, however, as self-pleasure and the sexual activities of other people can also induce this feeling. Furthermore, a person who feels guilty or otherwise uncomfortable about sex might also experience sexual guilt.

A friends with benefits relationship is a personal friendship which is physically intimate and involves sex.

References

Notes

  1. ↑ Belle, Heather; Michelle Fiordaliso (2009). Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* . Sourcebooks Casablanca. ISBN   978-1-4022-2923-7.
  2. ↑ Chara PJ, Kuennen LM (February 1994). "Diverging gender attitudes regarding casual sex: a cross-sectional study". Psychol Rep. 74 (1): 57–8. doi:10.2466/pr0.1994.74.1.57. PMID   8153236. S2CID   46533373. Abstract: Students at five educational levels ranging from seventh graders to college seniors were surveyed regarding their attitudes about the acceptability of casual sex. A striking developmental contrast was found: males became increasingly accepting of casual sex; females were consistently opposed to casual sex at all educational levels.
  3. ↑ Cubbins LA, Tanfer K (June 2000). "The influence of gender on sex: a study of men's and women's self-reported high-risk sex behavior". Arch Sex Behav. 29 (3): 229–57. doi:10.1023/A:1001963413640. PMID   10992980. S2CID   5746253.
  4. ↑ Welsh DP, Grello CM, Harper MS (August 2006). "No strings attached: the nature of casual sex in college students" (PDF). J Sex Res. 43 (3): 255–67. doi:10.1080/00224490609552324. PMID   17599248. S2CID   29600116. Archived from the original (PDF) on 2007-02-24.
  5. ↑ Gwen J. Broude, 'Male-Female Relationships in Cross-Cultural Perspective: A Study of Sex and Intimacy' Cross-Cultural Research, Vol. 18, No. 2, 154–181 (1983) Abstract: Societies are neither entirely consistent nor entirely arbitrary in their patterning of heterosexual relationships. This research suggests that sexual relationships, and male sexual orientation are not highly related to each other.
  6. ↑ Roese NJ, Pennington GL, Coleman J, Janicki M, Li NP, Kenrick DT (June 2006). "Sex differences in regret: all for love or some for lust?". Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 32 (6): 770–80. doi:10.1177/0146167206286709. PMC   2293329 . PMID   16648202. Abstract: within romantic relationships, men emphasize regrets of inaction over action, whereas women report regrets of inaction and action with equivalent frequency. Sex differences were not evident in other interpersonal regrets (friendship, parental, sibling interactions) and were not moderated by relationship status
  7. ↑ Corbett, Sherry; Sherwin, Robert (1985). "Campus sexual norms and dating relationships: A trend analysis". The Journal of Sex Research. 21 (3): 258–274. doi:10.1080/00224498509551266.
  8. 1 2 3 4 5 6 Grello, Catherine M.; Welsh, Deborah P.; Harper, Melinda S. (11 Jan 2010). "No strings attached; The nature of casual sex in college students". Journal of Sex Research. 43 (3): 255–267. doi:10.1080/00224490609552324. PMID   17599248. S2CID   29600116.
  9. 1 2 Maley, David. "'Friends With Benefits' Lets Couples Get Close But Not Too Close, Says Ithaca College Expert" . Retrieved 24 April 2012.
  10. 1 2 3 Lee, J.A. (1988). "Love Styles". R.J Sternberg & M.L. Barnes: The Psychology of Love: 38–67. ASIN   0300045891.
  11. 1 2 Bisson, Melissa A.; Levine, Timothy R. (13 September 2007). "Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 38 (1): 66–73. doi:10.1007/s10508-007-9211-2. PMID   17851750. S2CID   7938478.
  12. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 Hughes, Mikayla; Morrison, Kelly; Asada, Kelli Jean K. (2005). "What's love got to do with it? Exploring the impact of maintenance rules, love attitudes, and network support on friends with benefits relationships". Western Journal of Communication. 69 (1): 49–66. doi:10.1080/10570310500034154. S2CID   143566299.
  13. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Paul, Elizabeth L.; McManus, Brian; Hayes, Allison (Feb 2000). ""Hookups": Characteristics and Correlates of College Students' Spontaneous and Anonymous Sexual Experiences". The Journal of Sex Research. 37 (1): 76–88. doi: 10.1080/00224490009552023 .
  14. ↑ "U.S. online dating website and app usage reasons by gender2019 Statistic". Statista. Retrieved 2019-05-22.
  15. ↑ Cakebread, Caroline. "You're not alone, no one reads terms of service agreements". Business Insider. Retrieved 2019-05-22.
  16. ↑ "Definition of CASUAL". www.m-w.com. 9 September 2023.
  17. ↑ "the definition of casual sex". Dictionary.com.
  18. ↑ Bryan Strong; Christine DeVault; Theodore F. Cohen (2010). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationship in a Changing Society. Cengage Learning. p. 186. ISBN   978-0-534-62425-5 . Retrieved October 8, 2011. Most people agree that we maintain virginity as long as we refrain from sexual (vaginal) intercourse. But occasionally we hear people speak of 'technical virginity' [...] Data indicate that 'a very significant proportion of teens ha[ve] had experience with oral sex, even if they haven't had sexual intercourse, and may think of themselves as virgins' [...] Other research, especially research looking into virginity loss, reports that 35% of virgins, defined as people who have never engaged in vaginal intercourse, have nonetheless engaged in one or more other forms of heterosexual sexual activity (e.g., oral sex, anal sex, or mutual masturbation).
  19. ↑ "Teens say oral sex not really sex". NBC News.com. Associated Press. 2005-04-04. Archived from the original on 2015-04-17.


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