Spinster

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A poem entitled "It won't be my fault if I die an Old Maid", containing the lines "Remember no thought to a girl is so dread / As the terrible one--She may die an Old Maid." Oldmaid.gif
A poem entitled "It won't be my fault if I die an Old Maid", containing the lines "Remember no thought to a girl is so dread / As the terrible one—She may die an Old Maid."

Spinster or old maid is a term referring to an unmarried woman who is older than what is perceived as the prime age range during which women usually marry. It can also indicate that a woman is considered unlikely to ever marry. [1] The term originally denoted a woman whose occupation was to spin. [2] The closest equivalent term for males is "bachelor" or "confirmed bachelor" (or, in cases of homosexuality, "he never married"), but this generally does not carry the same connotations in reference to age and perceived desirability in marriage.

Contents

Etymology and history

The Spinner by William-Adolphe Bouguereau shows a woman hand-spinning using a drop spindle. Fibers to be spun are bound to a distaff held in her left hand. William-adolphe bouguereau the spinner.jpg
The Spinner by William-Adolphe Bouguereau shows a woman hand-spinning using a drop spindle. Fibers to be spun are bound to a distaff held in her left hand.
Monument to Peg Woffington (1720-1760) in St Mary's church, Teddington which describes her marital status. Monument for Margaret Woffington, d 1760 at St Mary's church, Teddington.jpg
Monument to Peg Woffington (1720–1760) in St Mary's church, Teddington which describes her marital status.

Long before the Industrial Age, "the art & calling of being a spinster" denoted girls and women who spun wool. According to the Online Etymological Dictionary, spinning was "commonly done by unmarried women, hence the word came to denote" an unmarried woman in legal documents from the 1600s to the early 1900s, and "by 1719 was being used generically for 'woman still unmarried and beyond the usual age for it'". [3] As a denotation for unmarried women in a legal context, the term dates back to at least 1699, [4] and was commonly used in banns of marriage of the Church of England where the prospective bride was described as a "spinster of this parish". [5]

The Oxford American Dictionary tags "spinster" (meaning "...unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage") as "derogatory" and "a good example of the way in which a word acquires strong connotations to the extent that it can no longer be used in a neutral sense." [6]

The 1828 and 1913 editions of Merriam Webster's Dictionary defined spinster in two ways:

  1. A woman who spins, or whose occupation is to spin.
  2. Law: An unmarried or single woman. [7]

By the 1800s, the term had evolved to include women who chose not to marry. During that century middle-class spinsters, as well as their married peers, took ideals of love and marriage very seriously, and spinsterhood was indeed often a consequence of their adherence to those ideals. They remained unmarried not because of individual shortcomings but because they didn't find a man "who could be all things to the heart". [8]

One 19th-century editorial in the fashion publication Peterson's Magazine encouraged women to remain choosy in selecting a mate — even at the price of never marrying. The editorial, titled "Honorable Often to Be an Old Maid", advised women: "Marry for a home! Marry to escape the ridicule of being called an old maid? How dare you, then, pervert the most sacred institution of the Almighty, by becoming the wife of a man for whom you can feel no emotions of love, or respect even?" [8]

Current use

The Oxford American English Dictionary defines spinster as "an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage". It adds: "In modern everyday English, however, spinster cannot be used to mean simply 'unmarried woman'; as such, it is a derogatory term, referring or alluding to a stereotype of an older woman who is unmarried, childless, prissy, and repressed." [6]

Currently, Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines the "unmarried woman" sense of the term in three ways: (1) an archaic usage meaning "an unmarried woman of gentle family", (2) a meaning related to (1) but not tagged as archaic: "an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying" and (3) "a woman who seems unlikely to marry". [9]

Dictionary.com describes the "woman still unmarried beyond the usual age of marrying" sense of the term as "Disparaging and Offensive". A usage note goes on to say that this sense "is ... perceived as insulting. It implies negative qualities such as being fussy or undesirable". Also included is a sense of the word used specifically in a legal context: "a woman who has never married". [10]

Wordreference.com describes the "woman still unmarried" sense of spinster as "dated". [11]

Age is a crucial part of the definition, according to Robin Lakoff's explanation in Language and Woman's Place: "If someone is a spinster, by implication she is not eligible [to marry]; she has had her chance, and been passed by. Hence, a girl of twenty cannot be properly called a spinster: she still has a chance to be married". [12] Yet other sources on terms describing a never-married woman indicate that the term applies to a woman as soon as she is of legal age or age of majority (see bachelorette, single).

The title "spinster" has been embraced by feminists like Sheila Jeffreys, whose book The Spinster and Her Enemies (1985) defines spinsters simply as women who have chosen to reject sexual relationships with men. [13] In her 2015 book, Spinster, Making a Life of One's Own, Kate Bolick has written, "To me, the spinster is self-reliant and inscrutable. We think we know what the wife is up to and what the mother is up to but the single woman is mysterious. I like that mystery. So the term is a useful way to hold onto the idea of autonomy that can get so easily lost inside of marriage or motherhood". [14]

In 2005, in England and Wales, the term was abolished in favour of "single" for the purpose of marriage registration. [15] However, it is still often used when the banns of marriage are read by Church of England parish churches.[ citation needed ]

Research

A 2009 University of Missouri study of 32 women found that modern "spinsters" feel a social stigma attached to their status and a sense of both heightened visibility and invisibility. "Heightened visibility came from feelings of exposure and invisibility came from assumptions made by others". [16] [17]

Women and marriage

Women may not have married for a variety (and/or combination) of reasons, including personal inclination, a dearth of eligible men (whose numbers can decrease dramatically during war conflicts), and socio-economic conditions (that is, the availability of livelihoods for women). Writer and spinster Louisa May Alcott famously wrote that "liberty is a better husband than love to many of us". [18] Social status issues could also arise where it was unacceptable for a woman to marry below her social rank but her parents lacked the funds to support a marriage within their social rank. [19]

In the early 19th century, particularly in England, women would fall under coverture, stating that all property and contracts in their name would be ceded to their husbands. This was particularly common in women who owned businesses.[ citation needed ]

The First World War (1914–1918) prevented many within a generation of women from experiencing romance and marriage or having children. [20]

In 1936, Lambert Pharmacal Co., St. Louis, Mo. advertising Listerine mouthwash blamed halitosis for Edna approaching her 30th birthday, and still being "Often a bridesmaid but never a bride". Amazing stories v10 n13 p2.png
In 1936, Lambert Pharmacal Co., St. Louis, Mo. advertising Listerine mouthwash blamed halitosis for Edna approaching her 30th birthday, and still being "Often a bridesmaid but never a bride".

In modern peacetime societies with wide opportunities for romance, marriage and children, there are other reasons that women remain single as they approach old age. Psychologist Erik Erikson postulated that during young adulthood (ages 18 to 39), individuals experience an inner conflict between a desire for intimacy (i.e., a committed relationship leading to marriage) and a desire for isolation (i.e., fear of commitment). [21] Other reasons women may choose not to marry include a focus on career, a desire for an independent life, economic considerations, or an unwillingness to make the compromises expected in a marriage. [22]

Some writers have suggested that to understand why women do not marry, one should examine reasons women do marry and why it may be assumed they should marry in the first place. According to Adrienne Rich:

Women have married because it was necessary, in order to survive economically, in order to have children who would not suffer economic deprivation or social ostracism, in order to remain respectable, in order to do what was expected of women, because coming out of ‘abnormal’ childhoods they wanted to feel ‘normal’ and because heterosexual romance has been represented as the great female adventure, duty, and fulfillment [23]

In Law, a 'spinster' refers to an unmarried woman who had reached her majority. This was, in part, to reinforce the right to own property outside of marriage.

See also

Related Research Articles

A bachelor is a man who is not and never has been married.

Concubinage is an interpersonal and sexual relationship between two people in which the couple does not want to, or cannot, enter into a full marriage. Concubinage and marriage are often regarded as similar, but mutually exclusive.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Wife</span> Female spouse; woman who is married

A wife is a woman in a marital relationship. A woman who has separated from her partner continues to be a wife until their marriage is legally dissolved with a divorce judgment. On the death of her partner, a wife is referred to as a widow. The rights and obligations of a wife to her partner and her status in the community and law vary between cultures and have varied over time.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Nuclear family</span> Group of two parents and their children

A nuclear family is a family group consisting of parents and their children, typically living in one home residence. It is in contrast to a single-parent family, a larger extended family, or a family with more than two parents. Nuclear families typically center on a married couple which may have any number of children. There are differences in definition among observers. Some definitions allow only biological children who are full-blood siblings and consider adopted or half- and step-siblings a part of the immediate family, but others allow for a step-parent and any mix of dependent children, including stepchildren and adopted children. Some sociologists and anthropologists consider the extended family structure to be the most common family structure in most cultures and at most times, rather than the nuclear family.

Lady is a term for a woman who behaves in a polite way. Once used to describe only women of a high social class or status, the female counterpart of lord, now it may refer to any adult woman, as gentleman can be used for men.

Bachelorette (/ˌbætʃələˈrɛt/) is a term used in American English for a single, unmarried woman. The term is derived from the word bachelor, and is often used by journalists, editors of popular magazines, and some individuals. "Bachelorette" was famously the term used to refer to female contestants on the old The Dating Game TV show and, more recently, The Bachelorette.

In legal definitions for interpersonal status, a single person refers to an individual who is not in committed relationships, or is not part of a civil union.. .

<i>Shiksa</i> Term for a non-Jewish woman or girl

Shiksa is an often disparaging term for a gentile woman or girl. The word, which is of Yiddish origin, has moved into English usage and some Hebrew usage, mostly in North American Jewish culture.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Mistress (lover)</span> Female who is in an extra-marital sexual relationship

A mistress or kept woman is a woman who is in a relatively long-term sexual and romantic relationship with someone who is married to a different person.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Catherinette</span>

Catherinette was a traditional French label for a woman of twenty-five years who was still unmarried by the Feast of Saint Catherine. A special celebration was offered to them on this day and everyone wished them a swift end to their single status.

In the lineal kinship system used in the English-speaking world, a niece or nephew is a child of an individual's sibling or sibling-in-law. A niece is female and a nephew is male, and they would call their parents' siblings aunt or uncle. The gender-neutral term nibling has been used in place of the common terms, especially in specialist literature.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Eligible bachelor</span> Bachelor considered to be a desirable husband

An eligible bachelor is a bachelor considered to be a particularly desirable potential husband, usually due to wealth, social status or other specific personal qualities.

In heterosexual sexual relationships, concepts of age disparity, including what defines an age disparity, have developed over time and vary among societies. Differences in age preferences for mates can stem from partner availability, gender roles, and evolutionary mating strategies, and age preferences in sexual partners may vary cross-culturally. There are also social theories for age differences in relationships as well as suggested reasons for 'alternative' age-hypogamous relationships. Age-disparate relationships have been documented for most of recorded history and have been regarded with a wide range of attitudes dependent on sociocultural norms and legal systems.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Shrew (stock character)</span> Stock character; woman given to violent, scolding, particularly nagging treatment

The shrew – an unpleasant, ill-tempered woman characterised by scolding, nagging, and aggression – is a comedic, stock character in literature and folklore, both Western and Eastern. The theme is illustrated in Shakespeare's play The Taming of the Shrew.

A matrifocal family structure is one where mothers head families, and fathers play a less important role in the home and in bringing up children.

Sheng nü, translated as 'leftover women' or 'leftover ladies', are women who remain unmarried in their late twenties and beyond in China. The term was popularized by the All-China Women's Federation. Most prominently used in China, the term has also been used colloquially to refer to women in India, North America, Europe, and other parts of Asia. The term compares unmarried women to leftover food and has gone on to become widely used in the mainstream media and has been the subject of several television series, magazine and newspaper articles, and book publications, focusing on the negative connotations and positive reclamation of the term. While initially backed and disseminated by pro-government media in 2007, the term eventually came under criticism from government-published newspapers two years later. Xu Xiaomin of The China Daily described the sheng nus as "a social force to be reckoned with" and others have argued the term should be taken as a positive to mean "successful women". The slang term, 3S or 3S Women, meaning "single, seventies (1970s), and stuck" has also been used in place of sheng nu.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Western European marriage pattern</span> Family and demographic pattern of Western Europe

The Western European marriage pattern is a family and demographic pattern that is marked by comparatively late marriage, especially for women, with a generally small age difference between the spouses, a significant proportion of people who remain unmarried, and the establishment of a neolocal household after the couple has married. In 1965, John Hajnal posited that Europe could be divided into two areas characterized by a different patterns of nuptiality. To the west of the line, which extends approximately between Saint Petersburg, Russia, and Trieste, Italy, marriage rates and thus fertility were comparatively low and a significant minority of women married late or remained single and most families were nuclear; to the east of the line and in the Mediterranean and particular regions of Northwestern Europe, early marriage and extended family homes were the norm and high fertility was countered by high mortality.

In South Korea, a gold miss (Korean: 골드미스) is an unmarried woman with a high socioeconomic status and level of education. These women frequently have a long career and enjoy being single as a result of social changes that have made marriage later in life common and reduced gender discrimination in the work place. They are also interested in developing themselves and their skills. They frequently spend much money shopping and enjoying trips overseas. They do not prioritise love or marriage in their lives.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Single women in the Middle Ages</span> Woman born between the 5th and 15th century who did not marry

During the Middle Ages in Europe, lifelong spinsters came from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, though elite women were less likely to be single than peasants or townswomen. The category of single women does not include widows or divorcees, which are terms used to describe women who were married at one point in their lives.

References

  1. ↑ "Spinster", Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 25 June 2023
  2. ↑ "Spinster". WordReference.com. Retrieved 2 April 2016.
  3. ↑ Douglas Harper (2010). "spinster defined". Online Etymology Dictionary. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved 5 June 2014.
  4. ↑ "John West, Sexual Offences: assault with intent". Old Bailey Proceedings Online. 13 December 1699. Retrieved 28 July 2012. for assaulting on Mary Bowden, Spinster, a Virgin, under the Age of Ten Years
  5. ↑ "Marriage service rubric". The Book of Common Prayer .
  6. 1 2 "spinster defined". American English. Oxford dictiionaries. Archived from the original on 14 December 2012. Retrieved 11 June 2014.
  7. ↑ "Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913 + 1828)". Archived from the original on 22 February 2014. Retrieved 8 November 2012.
  8. 1 2 Berend, Zsuzsa (2000). "'The Best or None!' Spinsterhood in Nineteenth-Century New England". Journal of Social History. 33 (4): 935–957. doi:10.1353/jsh.2000.0056. PMID   18050547. S2CID   40799246.
  9. ↑ "spinster definition". Merriam-Webster. Retrieved 5 June 2014.
  10. ↑ "spinster defined". Based on the Random House Dictionary, Random House, Inc. Dictionary.com Unabridged. 2014. Retrieved 5 June 2014.
  11. ↑ "Spinster". WordReference.com. Retrieved 19 October 2016.
  12. ↑ Lakoff, Robin (1975). Language and Woman's Place . New York: Harper and Row. ISBN   9780060903893.
  13. ↑ Jeffreys, Sheila (1985). The Spinster and Her Enemies: Feminism and Sexuality 1880–1930 . Pandora Press. ISBN   9780863580505.
  14. ↑ Bielski, Zosia (7 May 2015). "In her new book, Kate Bolick argues why there’s nothing wrong with being a 'spinster'". The Globe and Mail .
  15. ↑ "R.I.P Bachelors and Spinsters". BBC. 14 September 2005. Retrieved 8 April 2013.
  16. ↑ "Single Women Still Feel Spinster Stigma, Study Finds". LiveScience. March 2010.
  17. ↑ Sharp, Elizabeth A.; Ganong, Lawrence (2011). "'I'm a Loser, I'm Not Married, Let's Just All Look at Me': Ever-Single Women's Perceptions of Their Social Environment". Journal of Family Issues. 32 (7): 956–980. doi:10.1177/0192513X10392537. S2CID   146368386.
  18. ↑ "Louisa May Alcott, Spinster, Enjoys Valentine's Day 1868". New England Historical Society. 14 February 2015. Retrieved 19 October 2016.
  19. ↑ Hill, Bridget (2001). Women Alone Spinsters in England 1660–1850. Yale University Press. p. 10. ISBN   0300088205.
  20. ↑ Nicholson, Virginia (2007). Singled Out: How Two Million Women Survived Without Men After the First World War.
  21. ↑ Harder, Arlene (2009). The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson.
  22. ↑ Schwartz, Pepper (15 October 2014). "Why more women choose not to marry". CNN.
  23. ↑ Rich, Adrienne (1980). "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence". Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society. 5 (4): 631–660. doi:10.1086/493756. S2CID   143604951.

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