Erotic sexual denial

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Erotic sexual denial is the practice of refraining from sexual experiences in order to increase erotic arousal and/or tension. [1] The prohibited experience can be narrowly or broadly defined and banned for a specific or indeterminate length of time depending on the practitioner. The experience withheld can be any favored or desired sexual activities, such as specific acts or positions, provided it is something the practitioner wants. Erotic sexual denial is commonly used as sex play between intimate partners, but it can also be indulged in as an individual practice.

Contents

Orgasm control practices like edging are well-known varieties of erotic sexual denial in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm. [2] Another form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation, often ensured by use a chastity device or other physical barrier to genital touch or full erection. Another frequently mentioned variety is the use of dice or other games of chance by couples to determine how long a person to be withheld oral and/or penetrative sex, etc. from their partner. Erotic sexual denial is commonly, but not exclusively, practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage.

Denial practices

Tie and tease

To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called "tie and tease" and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to. Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

Tease and denial

Tease and denial is a situation where a person is stimulated until they are close to orgasm, then stimulation is stopped, keeping the person on the brink of orgasm. It is sometimes referred to as "edging", or "edge play". [3] This is similar to orgasm control, but without the promise of orgasm at the end.

If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm", [4] as opposed to being a "denied orgasm" (which can sometimes lead to "blue balls" for both men and women). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.

Modern chastity cage for men Plastic chastity cage.jpg
Modern chastity cage for men

Total denial

The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation to the penis or vulva. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be possible regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. This, however, depends on the belt used.

Male strap-on harness

A strap-on dildo may be worn by a male to still allow penetrative vaginal sex to the female while denying the male partner the ability to orgasm, and the male then may also wear a chastity belt. [5] This is distinct from pegging, as the strap-on in this case replaces the penis of the male. This can be seen as a form of total denial if the strap-on replaces the penis throughout the whole duration of the play, or as a form of teasing if the strap-on is only used during foreplay. In the last case, the strap-on can be used to prolong penetrative sex and thus sexually satisfy the female partner in case the male suffers from premature ejaculation. [6] [7] [8]

As a form of control

Erotic sexual denial is sometimes used by a dominant to increase their control over a submissive. Because the submissive is kept in a state of sexual need and vulnerability, they are more likely to take a compliant stance with the dominant; failure to comply can result in additional teasing or an extended period of denial, among other punishments.

Orgasm denial practices can allow the dominant to exercise control over many aspects of the submissive's life. As such, they are often (though not always) practiced as an extension or enhancement of a broader BDSM relationship, or as a means of establishing one. They can allow the dominant to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power, and the submissive can enjoy intense feelings of sexual objectification and submission to the dominant.

Orgasm denial can also be used to increase a submissive's tolerance for physical stimulation, as training in holding back an orgasm, or to allow the submissive to orgasm on command; as a way to maintain a heightened state of sexual arousal in the submissive, or as a means of erotic humiliation desired by either the submissive or the dominant.

Erotic humiliation can also help enforce the dominant's position in the relationship. Orgasm denial is often accompanied by other forms of erotic humiliation such as forcing the submissive to do chores, crossdress, or consume bodily fluids. These can be used as punishments, as conditions for release, or simply at the discretion of the dominant.

See also

Further reading

Related Research Articles

Human sexual activity Human behaviour that is sexually motivated

Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone to acts with another person in varying patterns of frequency, for a wide variety of reasons. Sexual activity usually results in sexual arousal and physiological changes in the aroused person, some of which are pronounced while others are more subtle. Sexual activity may also include conduct and activities which are intended to arouse the sexual interest of another or enhance the sex life of another, such as strategies to find or attract partners, or personal interactions between individuals. Sexual activity may follow sexual arousal.

Orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure. Experienced by males and females, orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system. They are usually associated with involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations. The period after orgasm is typically a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of the neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin as well as endorphins.

A sex position is a position of the body that people use for sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Sexual acts are generally described by the positions the participants adopt in order to perform those acts. Though sexual intercourse generally involves penetration of the body of one person by another, sex positions commonly involve penetrative or non-penetrative sexual activities.

Male dominance (BDSM)

Male dominance, or maledom, refers to BDSM activities where the dominant partner is male.

Female submission

Female submission is an activity or relationship in which a woman consents to submit to the direction of a sexual partner or allows her body to be used sexually by or for the sexual pleasure of her partner. The expression is often associated with BDSM, when the woman voluntarily and consensually submits to such activity. Submission usually involves a degree of trust by the woman in her partner. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The submissive woman may derive sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing control to a trusted dominant partner.

Sexual stimulation is any stimulus that leads to, enhances and maintains sexual arousal, and may lead to orgasm. Although sexual arousal may arise without physical stimulation, achieving orgasm usually requires physical sexual stimulation.

Cock and ball torture Form of sexual play

Cock and ball torture (CBT), penis torture or dick torture is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.

Edging, peaking, or surfing is a sexual technique whereby orgasm is controlled. It is practiced alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period without reaching climax.

Glossary of BDSM Wikipedia glossary

This glossary of BDSM terms defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.

Dominance and submission Erotic roleplay involving the submission of one person to another

Dominance and submission is a set of behaviours, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.

Erotic humiliation Consensual use of humiliation in a sexual context

Erotic humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for either the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned or the person(s) humiliating, or both. It is sometimes performed before spectators, including pornography and webcam viewers. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals of one or both parties in the activity.

Forced orgasm Consensual BDSM play involving powerlessness and orgasms

A forced orgasm is consensual BDSM or kinky sexual play whereby a person consents to be forced to orgasm in a way that is beyond their control. The person being brought to involuntary orgasm would typically be put in physical restraints to deprive them of the ability to control the onset and intensity of orgasm, and to increase the feeling of helplessness, a situation which some people find sexually arousing.

Strap-on dildo Device used for sexual penetration or other sexual activity

A strap-on dildo is a dildo designed to be worn, usually with a harness, during sexual activity. Harnesses and dildos are made in a wide variety of styles, with variations in how the harness fits the wearer, how the dildo attaches to the harness, as well as various features intended to facilitate stimulation of the wearer or a sexual partner. Strap-on dildos can be used by people of any gender or sexuality.

Chastity belt (BDSM)

Chastity belts in BDSM may be used as part of a practice of orgasm control, to prevent the wearer from engaging principally in sexual intercourse without the permission of the dominant, who acts as "keyholder". A chastity belt will also prevent other sexual activity such as masturbation and oral sex involving the wearer's genitals. Chastity belts may be worn by both men and women as part of BDSM play. A chastity belt may be worn for the duration of a sex play, for a limited period or as a long-term arrangement.

Facesitting

Facesitting, also known as queening or kinging, is a sexual practice in which one partner sits on or over the other's face, typically to allow or force oral–genital or oral–anal contact. In addition to oral-genital and oral-anal contact, the position also leaves the bottom partner's hands free to stimulate other erogenous zones. The top partner may be facing either direction in this position. It is common for this position to form part of BDSM, involving dominance and submission, though this need not be the case. Within a BDSM or D/s context, facesitting can be a form of erotic humiliation.

Top, bottom, switch (BDSM)

The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles for the duration of a sometimes-sexual act, or may be used more broadly as a psychological, social, and sexual identity, as well as indicating one's usual preference. The terms top, bottom, and switch are also used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to dominant or submissive, or active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. The older term "versatile" is sometimes used instead of "switch".

The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to human sexuality:

Sexual arousal Arousal of sexual desire, during or in anticipation of sexual activity

Sexual arousal is typically the arousal of sexual desire during or in anticipation of sexual activity. A number of physiological responses occur in the body and mind as preparation for sexual intercourse and continue during it. Male arousal will lead to an erection, and in female arousal the body's response is engorged sexual tissues such as nipples, vulva, clitoris, vaginal walls, and vaginal lubrication. Mental stimuli and physical stimuli such as touch, and the internal fluctuation of hormones, can influence sexual arousal.

Index of BDSM articles

This is an index of BDSM articles. BDSM is a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, role-playing, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle.

Pussy torture

Pussy torture, also known as cunt torture, vagina torture or female genitorture, is a BDSM or sexual activity involving the application of pain or pressure to a vulva or vagina, typically in the context of sadomasochism. It is applied through activities such as:

References

  1. Reagene, Dominic Paul (2014). BDSM & Fetish Dictionary of Kink, 2nd Edition. New York: Muze Management Publishing. p. 46. ISBN   9781507033999.
  2. Reagene, Dominic Paul (2014). BDSM & Fetish Dictionary of Kink, 2nd Edition. New York: Muze Management Publishing. p. 82. ISBN   9781507033999.
  3. Jewell, Tim. "A Guide to Mastering Orgasm Control for More Satisfying Sex". healthline.com. Archived from the original on 27 August 2019. Retrieved 17 September 2019.
  4. Hsieh, Carina (31 July 2019). "Everything You Need to Know About Ruined Orgasms". Cosmopolitan. Archived from the original on 10 October 2019. Retrieved 17 September 2019.
  5. "Male Dildo Harness - A guide for Men how to wear a strap-on". Archived from the original on 31 August 2018. Retrieved 31 August 2018.
  6. "Beginners Guide: Purchasing Your First Strap-On Harness | Gritty Woman". Archived from the original on 9 August 2018. Retrieved 31 August 2018.
  7. "Savage Love Letter of the Day: He's Perfect, But a Premie - Slog - The Stranger". Archived from the original on 30 August 2018. Retrieved 31 August 2018.
  8. "Rose Answers: Premature Ejaculation 101 – Pure Pleasure Shop". Archived from the original on 30 August 2018. Retrieved 31 August 2018.