Erotic humiliation

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Humiliation of a man being forced to kneel and hold a dominatrix's purse with his mouth while being punished (caning) in public. Public humiliation caning.jpg
Humiliation of a man being forced to kneel and hold a dominatrix's purse with his mouth while being punished (caning) in public.

Erotic humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for either the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned or the person(s) humiliating, or both. It is sometimes performed before spectators, including pornography and webcam viewers. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals (or other erotic region) of one or both parties in the activity.

Contents

Humiliation is a subjective issue and is dependent on context. It does not need to be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings that are obtained from the experience that are desired, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. Usually there is a feeling of submission for the person being humiliated and dominance for the person implementing the humiliation.

Erotic humiliation can be done verbally, physically, or both, and can be either private or public. Some individuals assume an acting role and others prefer to be spoken to in a degrading way. A classic technique that can be used to put the submissive into a bottom mind space is to humiliate them while also providing them with sexual stimulation. Select individuals who desire this form of humiliation also use it to acquire emotional release. Humiliation can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations, it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (such as online).

While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it. [1] Humiliation play can, however, be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, which some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safeword.

Terminology and overview

A nude female submissive cleans her male dominant's shoe by licking it, on a public road in USA, 2012. Nude slave girl.jpg
A nude female submissive cleans her male dominant's shoe by licking it, on a public road in USA, 2012.

The most common name for the individual being humiliated is the bottom , and the opposite individual who humiliates the bottom is often called the top . However, these terms are standard ones that are used in general dominant/submissive roleplay and are not specific to humiliation interests.

While elements of erotic humiliation may be part of a number of domination and submission-based activities, humiliation is not the same as submission. The recipient does not necessarily seek to be ordered about. Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the recipient seeks the humiliation over and above means. For example, being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved. Humiliation therefore encompasses a range of paraphilia, including foot fetish, breast fetish, shoe fetish, body worship, spanking, bondage, and most BDSM styles. It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex; and it can be complex, involving roleplay and public displays of subservience. It can also be for a set period of time (a "scene") or an ongoing facet of a relationship. The humiliation is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, it is semiotically charged by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act. They invest specific acts, objects, or body parts with a humiliating aspect. [2]

Means of humiliation


Two women humiliating their male submissives in public. One of the submissives is on a dog leash while the dominatrix humiliates him verbally. The other woman is sitting on the submissive (whose testicles are tied) and is preparing to shock him. The submissives are being punished by various means of humiliation, including pet play and electrostimulation. Erotic humiliation.jpg
Two women humiliating their male submissives in public. One of the submissives is on a dog leash while the dominatrix humiliates him verbally. The other woman is sitting on the submissive (whose testicles are tied) and is preparing to shock him. The submissives are being punished by various means of humiliation, including pet play and electrostimulation.
The erotic humiliation of a woman is performed at Wave-Gotik-Treffen music festival, Germany, 2014. She is stripped naked, hung upside down and whipped while a master who is roleplaying a devil forces himself on her. 2014 WGT 264 Umbra Et Imago.jpg
The erotic humiliation of a woman is performed at Wave-Gotik-Treffen music festival, Germany, 2014. She is stripped naked, hung upside down and whipped while a master who is roleplaying a devil forces himself on her.
A bound and gagged submissive male is publicly disgraced at the Folsom Street Fair. The photo shows demonstration of cock and ball torture, where a dominatrix bites the man's penis, while pulling and squeezing his testicles with her hand. Woman bites penis.jpg
A bound and gagged submissive male is publicly disgraced at the Folsom Street Fair. The photo shows demonstration of cock and ball torture, where a dominatrix bites the man's penis, while pulling and squeezing his testicles with her hand.

Many scenarios may give rise to sexual humiliation. Some scenarios may be based on verbal abuse and others on physical aspects.

Verbal humiliation

Physical humiliation

Some sexual humiliation involves physical inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation, and embarrassment.

Sexual roleplaying can involve humiliation. For example, one person might play the part of a dog because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top might emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal, whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of an inner animal or playful spirit.

Psychology of humiliation

A woman urinating into the mouth of a man is an example of the practice of golden showers. The man is degraded by being treated as a human toilet. Piss drinking.png
A woman urinating into the mouth of a man is an example of the practice of golden showers. The man is degraded by being treated as a human toilet.
Depending upon the consent and limits, BDSM may involve sex. Here, the female slave is made to perform deep throat in an uncomfortable position with her master, which can be insulting for her. Wiki-dthroat02.png
Depending upon the consent and limits, BDSM may involve sex. Here, the female slave is made to perform deep throat in an uncomfortable position with her master, which can be insulting for her.
A woman being embarassed by cum shot on her face. Semfac01 (cropped).png
A woman being embarassed by cum shot on her face.
A woman wearing a strap-on dildo about to engage in doggy style anal sex with a man. Such sex can be a way of humiliating a person. Wiki-pegging (cropped).png
A woman wearing a strap-on dildo about to engage in doggy style anal sex with a man. Such sex can be a way of humiliating a person.

Humiliation in general stimulates the same brain regions that are associated with physical pain, the inference being that humans evolved to remember social rewards and punishments as strongly as they recall physical reward or pain in response to their environment. As with any form of pain experimentation in a sexual context, consent and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication are needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive. For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways but would be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.

Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualised by association with arousal, and also may be associated with exhibitionism in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.

For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction or getting over sexual inhibitions. For example, between gay people, terms usually associated with homophobia may be used, such as faggot and dyke .

As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene. Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are common. Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play and age play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish. The desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse, the idea of "getting caught" (as in having sex in the garden or woods), and simulated rape are emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability, and control. However, for most people such ideas remain fantasies; the people would have strong reservations about the fantasies' being made public, or engaged in with a partner in real life, however erotic the idea may be. When someone reveals a fetish to a partner, this usually is a result of great trust. However, the desire to be humiliated may be a motivating cause for confession, in that the act of confessing can itself be humiliating. Many people worry about being ridiculed for their fetishes, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic. Therefore, many people use online humiliation (in which the humiliator and others are involved via the Internet, using chat, email, websites, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.

Online humiliation

Online humiliation is the desire to be seen in a sexually embarrassing context on the Internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world. As the Internet has grown and continues to grow, so does online humiliation. Anecdotal reports indicate that the proportion of men being dominated by women on the Internet, through some type of personal service provided for a fee by the woman, vastly exceeds the instances of a woman being dominated online by a man, or another woman.

Common methods of online humiliation:

These practices can be conducted through chat, webcam, e-mail, BDSM contact websites, and proprietary virtual spaces such as Second Life or FetLife.

See also

Related Research Articles

BDSM Erotic practices involving domination and sadomasochism

BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.

Dominatrix A woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities

A dominatrix is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix might be of any sexual orientation, but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. The role of a dominatrix may not even involve physical pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks, or servitude. A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene.

Klismaphilia Paraphilia involving sexual arousal from enemas.

Klismaphilia, from the Greek words κλύσμα and φιλία, is a paraphilia involving enjoyment of, and sexual arousal from, enemas.

Bondage (BDSM) Consensual sexual binding or restraining

Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.

Sexual roleplay Sexual and other interactions of people playing type roles

Sexual roleplay is roleplay that has a strong erotic element. It may involve two or more people who act out roles in order to bring to life a sexual fantasy and may be a form of foreplay and be sexually arousing. Many people regard sexual roleplay as a means of overcoming sexual inhibitions. It may take place in the real world, or via an internet forum, chat-room, video-game, or email—allowing for physically or virtually impossible erotic interests to be enacted.

Servitude (BDSM)

In BDSM, servitude refers to performing personal tasks for their dominant partner, as part of their submissive role in a BDSM relationship.

Medical fetishism refers to a number of sexual fetishes from which participants derive sexual pleasure from medical scenarios including objects, practices, environments, and situations of a medical or clinical nature. In sexual roleplay a hospital or medical scene involves the sex partners assuming the roles of doctors, nurses, surgeons and patients to act out specific or general medical fetishes. Medical fantasy is a genre in pornography, though the fantasy may not necessarily involve pornography or sexual activity.

Female submission

Female submission or femsub is an activity or relationship in which a woman consents to submit to the direction of a sexual partner or allows her body to be used sexually by or for the sexual pleasure of her partner. The expression is often associated with BDSM, when the woman voluntarily and consensually submits to such activity. Submission usually involves a degree of trust by the woman in her partner. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The submissive woman may derive sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing control to a trusted dominant partner.

Outline of BDSM Overview of and topical guide to BDSM

The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to BDSM:

Erotic sexual denial is the practice of refraining from sexual experiences in order to increase erotic arousal and/or tension. The prohibited experience can be narrowly or broadly defined and banned for a specific or indeterminate length of time depending on the practitioner. The experience withheld can be any favored or desired sexual activities, such as specific acts or positions, provided it is something the practitioner wants. Erotic sexual denial is commonly used as sex play between intimate partners, but it can also be indulged in as an individual practice.

Glossary of BDSM Wikipedia glossary

This glossary of BDSM terms defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.

Dominance and submission Erotic roleplay involving the submission of one person to another

Dominance and submission is a set of behaviours, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.

Animal roleplay Animal roleplay or petplay (erotic roleplay related to BDSM)

Animal roleplay is a form of roleplay where at least one participant plays the part of a non-human animal. As with most forms of roleplay, its uses include play and psychodrama.

Petticoating or pinaforing is a type of forced feminization that involves dressing a man or boy in girls' clothing as a form of humiliation or punishment, or as a fetish. While the practice has come to be a rare, socially unacceptable form of humiliating punishment, it has risen up as both a subgenre of erotic literature or other expression of sexual fantasy.

Male submission

Male submission or malesub is a situation in BDSM and other sexual activities in which the submissive partner is male. A woman who dominates a male submissive is referred to as a dominant, domme or dominatrix. Sexual activity between a male submissive and a dominatrix is referred to as femdom. A 2015 study indicates that 46.6% of men who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive role, 24% consider themselves to be switches and 29.5% prefer the dominant role.

Master/slave (BDSM) consensual authority-exchange structured sexual relationship

In BDSM, Master/slave, M/s or sexual slavery is a relationship in which one individual serves another in a consensual authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term "slave" because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave's body, as property or chattel. While male "masters" will usually be referred to as "Master", whether or not female Masters are referred to as "Master" or "Mistress" may depend upon whether they identify as following the leather subculture or BDSM path, or simply preference.

Feminization (activity) Submissive sexual practice

Feminization or feminisation, sometimes forced feminization, and also known as sissification, is a practice in dominance and submission or kink subcultures, involving reversal of gender roles and making a submissive male take on a feminine role, which includes cross-dressing. Subsets of the practice include sissy training and variations thereof, where the submissive male is trained to become feminine. Feminization as a sexual fetish is not the same thing as being a transgender woman, and the submissive partners engaging in it are typically heterosexual, men. It has been speculated that the fetish is rooted in societal pressure for men to be traditionally masculine.

Top, bottom, switch (BDSM) Roles in BDSM practices

The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles for the duration of a sometimes-sexual act, or may be used more broadly as a psychological, social, and sexual identity, as well as indicating one's usual preference. The terms top, bottom, and switch are also used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to dominant or submissive, or active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. The older term "versatile" is sometimes used instead of "switch".

Index of BDSM articles

This is an index of BDSM articles. BDSM is a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, role-playing, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle.

Small penis humiliation (SPH) is a form of verbal erotic humiliation involving the penis where a dominant person usually consensually degrades a submissive's penis. The practice may involve sexual acts or just the verbal humiliation itself; it may take place in public or in private.

References

  1. Midori (美登里) (2005). Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink. Educational, Sensual, And Entertaining Essays. Daedalus Publishing. p. 48. ISBN   978-1-881943-22-8.
  2. Giannini, AJ; Colapietro, G; Slaby, AE; Melemis, SM; Bowman, RK (1998). "Sexualization of the female foot as a response to sexually transmitted epidemics: a preliminary study". Psychological Reports. 83 (2): 491–8. doi:10.2466/pr0.83.6.491-498. PMID   9819924.
  3. Gloria G. Brame; William D. Brame; Jon Jacobs (1993). Different Loving.
  4. Different loving, p. 102.
  5. 1 2 David J. Ley (2012). Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. pp. 173, 222. ISBN   9781442200319.
  6. St. James, Sindy (2008). How To Get Her To Watch Porn. SecretLifePublishing. pp. 108–10. ISBN   978-0-9818039-5-1. there is an entire fetish surrounding this act, mostly connected with female-dominated relationships. ... The man can or cannot be present while the woman is having sex with another man (it's overwhelmingly heterosexual cuckolding with this fetish). If the man is not present, he might help her choose clothes for her "date," or they might get together afterward so that she can tell him all about it in detail, either while having sex or in addition to withholding sex as part of the female domination aspect of their relationship. If the man is present during the cuckolding, he may or may not be allowed to pleasure himself while watching his partner have sex with another man. Also, the cuckolding may or may not immediately be followed by sex between the couple. Impregnation and Pregnancy Fetish ... you and your partner fantasizing during sex ... that you both just found out she is pregnant... it can involve cuckolding ... When it is a part of the cuckolding fetish, the fantasy involves the "other man" having impregnated her, and his sperm being stronger than yours, and several other kinds of (agreed-to) humilation.
  7. Wild Side Sex, p. 47.
  8. Different loving, p. 517.
  9. "8 Best Sex Positions For Domination, Because With Great Submission Comes Great Responsibility". Archived from the original on 2019-06-08. Retrieved 2019-06-08.

Notes