Discipline in BDSM is the practice in which the dominant sets rules which the submissive is expected to obey. When rules of expected behaviour are broken, punishment is often used as a means of disciplining. [1] [2]
In BDSM, rules can be made so that a submissive ("sub") knows how they should behave in order not to displease the dominant. Rules are usually set and agreed upon by the dominant and the submissive before the beginning of any BDSM scene and/or situation, and can also be used to help make the sub feel inferior, or for "training" a novice sub, though such is not always the case and rules can be set by the dominant for reasons both pertaining to the scene (such as fear play) and/or reasons outside of the constructed world of BDSM. When the rules are broken, even accidentally, punishment is often used as a means of discipline. Punishment itself can be physical (e.g. whipping or piercing) or psychological (e.g. erotic humiliation through public nudity or golden showers) or a combination of both (e.g. through predicament bondage).[ citation needed ]
The goal of discipline is to "teach" (in the context of the BDSM scene, and only as such to make the sub feel inferior by playing as if they are being taught "how to behave" like a child or animal, and such is pretended, as BDSM is sexual play and does not pertain or adhere to reality) the sub how they should behave as well as the consequences that may arise as a result of breaking the rules of behavior. When subs receive punishment for breaking the set rules, they "learn" (again in the context of sexual play) self-restraint and become "better" subs. The punishment is usually, but not always, related to the mistake, and is also usually proportionate to the severity and frequency of the mistake. For example, a punishment for speaking out of turn for the first time may be a simple restraint (such as being silenced using a gag). Similarly, the punishment for a male sub's penis becoming erect despite not being allowed, even if unintentionally, can be a chastity cage.[ citation needed ]
The sub may also be given the option of choosing his/her own punishment. For example, for a minor mistake made repeatedly, the punishment can be an option either to be caned a few times (physical punishment) or to be paraded nude in public with a pet animal leash (mental punishment). For a major indiscipline by a female sub, the choice can be between breast torture and pussy torture. For a major indiscipline by a male sub, the choice may be the instrument type to be used (e.g. whip or cane) and the body part to be punished (e.g. back or buttocks) with a number of hard strokes. [3]
Punishments carried out on BDSM submissives, even harsh ones involving severe pain, should not be confused with those carried out in sadomasochism, though similar. S&M involves giving pain/torture to a "sub" for the sake of the physical pleasure of the "sub" and/or "dom". In BDSM discipline, punishments given are meant to derive pleasure from the psychological aspect of being inferior, by having to be "taught" and punished like a child or animal, as well as the vulnerability, rejection, and humiliation the "sub" may feel when being punished, and the humility and vulnerability the "sub" may feel after "learning" to overcome their feelings of inferiority and reconcile with the dominant by apologizing and emotionally accepting the punishment for their perceived wrong. One thing the two activities have in common is that there are limits and safewords in both.[ citation needed ]
Punishments in BDSM are carried out with the consent of both the dominant and the submissive. Such punishments caried out are agreed upon, set up, and talked about before the beginning of a BDSM scene or the signing of any BDSM "slave contract", and the misbehavior of the submissive is also usually predetermined before the activity begins. BDSM is sexual play, and such punishments are not caried out in a real world context, as said before, in that BDSM activities are predetermined, the scenes are made up, and none of it is caried out due to any real misbehavior of the submissive to any actual, real rule. There are "rules" separate from the BDSM scene, such as the safeword being used to signal an unwillingness to continue, and not doing a specific activity, which makes one uncomfortable, and then there are rules in the context of the play which are set to be broken and punished, these are the "play rules". Punishment should also not be confused with BDSM training which may involve giving pain simply in order to increase the endurance limit of the sub. [4] Sometimes, disciplining may avoid punishment altogether, and instead a hard glance or loud voice from the dominant may be effective.
In addition to punishment, disciplining may also involve positive reinforcement. This involves rewarding the sub for good behaviour (e.g. being allowed to sleep on a bed rather than a hard floor). [5]
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.
A dominatrix, or domme, is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix can be of any sexual orientation, but this does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. Dominatrices are popularly known for inflicting physical pain on their submissive subjects, but this is not done in every case. In some instances erotic humiliation is used, such as verbal humiliation or the assignment of humiliating tasks. Dominatrices also make use of other forms of servitude. Practices of domination common to many BDSM and other various sexual relationships are also prevalent. A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene.
In BDSM, a safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used by a person to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some safewords are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a reduced level of intensity.
Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
Sexual roleplay is roleplay that has a strong erotic element. It may involve two or more people who act out roles in order to bring to life a sexual fantasy and may be a form of foreplay and be sexually arousing. Many people regard sexual roleplay as a means of overcoming sexual inhibitions. It may take place in the real world, or via an internet forum, chat-room, video-game, or email—allowing for physically or virtually impossible erotic interests to be enacted.
Male dominance, or maledom is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner is male. A sexually dominant male in BDSM practices is also known as a maledom. Maledoms can be professional as well as non-professional. The term ProDom is used for a professional male dominant who earns money by working as a professional dominant as part of the sex industry. A maledom who role-plays a paternal figure is also known as Daddy Dom.
Sadism and masochism, known collectively as sadomasochism, are the derivation of pleasure from acts of respectively inflicting or receiving pain or humiliation. Practitioners of sadomasochism may seek sexual pleasure from their acts. While the terms sadist and masochist refer respectively to one who enjoys giving and receiving pain, some practitioners of sadomasochism may switch between activity and passivity.
Female submission or femsub is an activity or relationship in which a woman submits to the direction of a sexual partner or has her body used sexually by or for the sexual pleasure of her partner. The expression is often associated with BDSM, where submission to such activity is usually voluntarily and consensual. Submission usually involves a degree of trust by the woman in her partner. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The submissive woman may derive sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing control to a trusted dominant partner.
This glossary of BDSM terms defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.
Erotic humiliation is a consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for either the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned or the person(s) humiliating, or both. It is sometimes performed before spectators, including through pornography and webcam modeling. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals of one or both parties in the activity.
In BDSM, limits refer to issues that participants in a play scene or dynamic feel strongly about, usually referring to prohibited activities. Participants typically negotiate an outline of what activities will and will not take place. The participants describe what they desire, do not desire, will and will not tolerate, including the determination of limits. For example, it is common to set a safeword and to establish certain types of play as prohibited.
Consent within BDSM is when a participant gives their permission for certain acts or types of relationships. It bears much in common with the concept of informed consent and is simultaneously a personal, ethical and social issue. It is an issue that attracts much attention within BDSM, resulting in competing models of consent such as safe, sane and consensual and risk-aware consensual kink. Observers from outside the BDSM community have also commented on the issue of consent in BDSM, sometimes referring to legal consent which is a separate and largely unrelated matter. However, the presence of explicit consent within BDSM can often have implications for BDSM and the law and, depending on the country the participants are in, may make the differences between being prosecuted or not.
Animal roleplay is a form of roleplay where at least one participant plays the part of a non-human animal. As with most forms of roleplay, its uses include play and psychodrama.
In BDSM, Master/slave, M/s or sexual slavery is a relationship in which one individual serves another in a consensual authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term "slave" because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave's body, as property or chattel. While male "masters" will usually be referred to as "Master", whether or not female Masters are referred to as "Master" or "Mistress" may depend upon whether they identify as following the leather subculture or BDSM path, or simply preference.
Breast torture is a BDSM activity in which sexual stimulation is provided through the intentional application of physical pain or constriction to the breasts, areolae or nipples of a submissive. It is a popular activity among the kink community. The recipient of such activities may wish to receive them as a result of masochism or they may have a desire to please a dominant who is sadistic. Those involved may also be motivated by breast fetishism. Mild breast torture such as light impact play on the breasts is also occasionally used outside of the BDSM context to provide stimulation and pleasure during conventional sex. While breast and nipple torture is usually performed on women, most techniques or methods may also be used on men.
BDSM is a frequent theme in culture and media, including in books, films, television, music, magazines, public performances and online media.
The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles during a sexual act, or they may more broadly denote a psychological, social, or sexual identity, or indicate one's usual preference. The terms top, bottom, and switch are also used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In BDSM, a top is the person doing something to someone else, and a bottom is the person receiving that act. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. A switch is someone who can act as both a top and bottom. The older term versatile is sometimes used instead of switch.
Criminalization of consensual BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal.
Feminist views on BDSM vary widely from acceptance to rejection. BDSM refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and Sado-Masochism. In order to evaluate its perception, two polarizing frameworks are compared. Some feminists, such as Gayle Rubin and Patrick Califia, perceive BDSM as a valid form of expression of female sexuality, while other feminists, such as Andrea Dworkin and Susan Griffin, have stated that they regard BDSM as a form of woman-hating violence. Some lesbian feminists practice BDSM and regard it as part of their sexual identity.
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| Sadomasochism S&M or S/M | |
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