Pegging (sexual practice)

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A woman pegging a man in the doggy style position Wiki-pegging.png
A woman pegging a man in the doggy style position

Pegging is an anal sex act in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo. [1]

Contents

Terminology

The neologism "pegging" was popularized by being the winning entry in a contest for the "Savage Love" sex advice column, held by Dan Savage in 2001. This was due to Savage observing that, after the act was popularized by the sex education movie Bend Over Boyfriend released in 1998, the concept lacked a common name, except for the phrase "Strap On Sex" used by Queen and her partner Robert in their national lecture series (Robert was the original Bend Over Boyfriend at the Good Vibrations lectures), and there was no dictionary entry for the act. [2] [3] Other words include "buggery" or "sodomy", but these refer to anal sex in general. [3] "Strap-on sex" can be used for vaginal or anal intercourse between people of any gender using a strap-on, and is thus less precise than pegging. [4] Some queer people prefer "strap-on sex" instead of "pegging" because they feel the latter is too hetero and cis centric. [4]

Beckett and Miller use "pegger" and "peggee" to refer to the person penetrating and the person being penetrated; "top" and "bottom" are also used. [4] According to Savage, while the classic definition involves a man being penetrated by a woman, the definition has expanded to include all genders and sexualities, as long as it involves anal sex with a strap-on. [5]

Practice

Pegging is penetrative sex with a strap-on dildo, usually anal penetration. It is usually defined as a practice in which a woman penetrates the anus of a man. [4] [3] The woman uses a strap-on dildo, often a silicone phallus, attached with a harness, or a strapless dildo (that also penetrates the pegger). [4] Lubricant is also used. [4]

According to Tristan Taormino, gender and gender roles can play an important part in pegging. [3] Pegging reverses traditional cisgender heterosexual gender roles in sexual practices: the man is penetrated by the woman, becoming passive rather than active. [3] Sex researcher D. J. Williams states that, for many, pegging reflects BDSM themes of dominance and submission. [6] Before engaging in pegging for the first time, the receiving partner typically undergoes anal training to gradually increase muscular relaxation, often using butt plugs. Pegging is a common kink within BDSM. In professional contexts, it is generally performed by dominatrices. [7] Practitioners of feminization kink may incorporate pegging into roleplay to reinforce a feminine sexual role. [8] Pegging is also practiced in the context of female-led relationships (FLR). [9]

According to Ian Kerner, the appeal of pegging is primarily psychological rather than physical. For men, it involves the "psychological thrill" of submitting to the "strength of a woman", subverting gender roles and power dynamics. However, Kerner maintains that pegging is not for everyone. [10] Joe Kort notes that the penetrator may also feel some sensation through indirect clitoral stimulation as the base of the dildo presses against the pubic mound. Individuals aroused by the concept of strap-on sex may also derive enjoyment from performing a strap-on fellatio. [11] Sophie Saint Thomas, writing for Allure , states that getting pegged by a "pro-domme or dominant partner" allows cishet men to "become vulnerable and submissive, which is a common sexual desire", and in a patriarchal society, "submitting to a woman or other person of a marginalized gender gets them off". [12]

Views and interpretations

In 1999, while criticizing sodomy laws, Debbie Nathan referenced the success of Bend Over Boyfriend, writing that "it's fun to imagine the sex police busting in on a PTA mom while she's reaming the man of the house with her strap-on. When that happens, the rest of the sodomy laws surely will fall." [13] Evaluating queer opinions on "queering straightness", feminist author Jane Ward notes that "some have hypothesized that gender-subversive sex acts themselves, like pegging, could be a backdoor route to undermining men's patriarchal authority by redefining hetero-masculinity as receptive and vulnerable". [14] Based on feminist and queer theories, Jonathan Branfman and Susan Stiritz argue in the American Journal of Sexuality Education that men's anal receptivity disrupts rigid norms of sex, gender, and sexuality, which they believe to be "social constructs". [15] In their feminist pornography discourse, challenging Robert Jensen's criticism of pornography for its perceived eroticization of male domination, Nora Winter and Morgaine Struve note that Jensen overlooks "porn that reverses power dynamics, such as pegging, which can help dismantle patriarchy". [16]

There are varying views among feminists on the use of strap-ons in sex. Some feminists argue that strap-on sex imitates patriarchal structures and undermines feminist ideals, asserting that fantasies should align with ethical principles. They criticize feminists who engage in strap-on sex as hypocritical. However, others share these concerns but question whether politics should be brought into the bedroom, while some oppose the notion that strap-on sex is inherently tied to patriarchy. [17] Sex columnist Karley Sciortino shares that, in discourse with female friends who enjoy pegging, she found that they separate politics from sex, even if it deviates from feminism or tends toward patriarchy. One friend described the experience as "fun and powerful", ironically calling it "Freudian bullshit". Another sees it as a "therapeutic tool" for empowerment. Though Sciortino holds opposing views, she concludes that if the aim of sex is intimacy and pleasure, perhaps politics should be set aside. [18]

In 2016, Tom Ford stated that "all men should be penetrated at some point", as he believes it would help them "understand and appreciate" women by experiencing the "invasion" involved in being in a "vulnerable" and "passive" position. [19] Similarly, Kate Lister has expressed that "all men should be penetrated at least once", suggesting that it could "challenge toxic masculinity and heteronormativity" and ultimately "make the world a better place". [20] Tristan Taormino, describing pegging as "revolutionary" and a form of "sexual liberation", maintains that all straight men "must try it at least once". [21] Erika Lust likewise emphasized that "every girl" and "every man" should "get to enjoy" pegging without "feeling bad". [22] Supporting the practice, Justin Myers remarked that pegging can help deconstruct the "male ego". [23]

Queer-feminist Tristan Taormino attributes the acceptance of pegging to the queer community's influence in deconstructing gender boundaries. [24] In 2016, Chauntelle Tibbals noted that the "increasing acceptance" of pegging is a logical outcome of "an explosion in public gender awareness, understanding, and willingness to explore boundaries" over the past decade. [25] In 2018, Eric Anderson predicted that the popularity of pegging would rise, noting that "despite what the term 'toxic masculinity' implies, men are becoming softer", which links to "decreasing homophobia and homohysteria". Reflecting on generational changes, Justin Lehmiller observed that the growing references to pegging in popular culture "reflects a deeper societal change", adding that the "decoupling of anal sex and homosexuality is, in some ways, a symptom of a broader decline in sexual conservatism". [26] Ally Head of Marie Claire wrote that pegging "can be incredibly freeing. It can turn sexual stereotypes upside down and expose you to new perspectives, with surprisingly pleasurable and progressive consequences". [27]

Hugo Schwyzer argues that the "fear" of penetration derives from a "deeply misogynistic culture," suggesting that pegging can help straight men become "more thoughtful boyfriends" and better feminist allies. Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian contend that "men who get into anal penetration are among the most secure in their masculinity". [28] Olivia Cassano of Metro endorses pegging, noting that it inverts the "traditional framework of gender and sexual roles" and can help men "get over insecurities". She criticizes the perception of pegging as gay or "unmanly", attributing it to a "patriarchal idea of emasculation", an "ew" factor, and "internalized homophobia". [29] Georgia Aspinall of Grazia suggests that asking a man if he is into pegging can indicate whether he is "boyfriend material", revealing how "secure he is in his sexuality" and his attitude toward "women who loudly proclaim their sexual agency without shame". [30] Psychotherapist Jordan Dixon notes that some men feel shame after pegging, shaped by sex-negativity and gender norms, which reemerge after the "highs of oxytocin and dopamine" diminish. [31]

Sex educators

Nadia Bokody believes pegging could redefine masculinity by easing its "toxic" and "oppressive restraints", yet men with "homophobic" views avoid it, revealing a "fragile construct of masculinity" rooted in "fear of vulnerability and femininity". [32] [ better source needed ] Leeza Mangaldas notes that pegging remains taboo for cishet men, "largely because of society's overarching homophobia and misogyny", and adds that shame and disgust toward the act arise from "unexamined prejudices." [33] According to Eleanor Hadley, many women hesitate to explore pegging because of "misogynistic rhetoric" that shames them. [34] According to sex therapist Laura Miano, pegging contradicts "hegemonic masculinity" and sexual stereotypes. The practice can allow cisgender women to "feel a sense of empowerment," while men may enjoy "relinquishing control". [35] According to Jessica Drake, "everyone should try it once". [25]

In culture

According to Beckett and Miller (2022), most popular representations of pegging are derogatory, negative or even amount to sexual assault. [36]

Marquis de Sade describes a pegging act in his 1795 book Philosophy in the Bedroom . [37] There is a depiction of pegging in the William S. Burroughs 1959 novel Naked Lunch . The dildo used is called Steely Dan III, and is the source from which the musical group Steely Dan takes its name. [38] [39] The 1970 film Myra Breckinridge depicted a pegging scene where Myra rapes a man with a strap-on dildo. [40] [41] The first explicit pegging scene is believed to be the 1976 pornographic film The Opening of Misty Beethoven . [42] Bend Over Boyfriend (1998) is based on lectures and workshops by Robert Lawrence and Carol Queen. Bend Over Boyfriend inspired Dan Savage to call the act "BOBing" but his readers subsequently voted on the winning term "pegging" in a 2001 contest and the term has since entered the English lexicon. [42]

Since the coinage of "pegging", it was featured in the TV show Weeds , on the episode "Crush Girl Love Panic" (2006). [42] Here, pegging appears to be non-consensual and is played as a joke towards the male character being forced into anal sex. [36] In the episode "Knockoffs" of the sitcom Broad City , Abbi (Abbi Jacobson) turns to friends and family for advice regarding Jeremy's request for pegging. [43] [44] In the 2016 film Deadpool , Wade is pegged by his girlfriend Vanessa, commemorating International Women's Day. [45] In François Ozon's 2017 film Double Lover , Chloé pegs Paul. Ozon stated that this scene, where the woman penetrates the man, "aligns with the feminist film that I advocate for". [46] [47] At the Met Gala 2021, Cara Delevingne wore a vest printed with the slogan "Peg the Patriarchy", garnering media attention. She said: "It's about women empowerment, gender equality—it's a bit like, 'stick it to the man'". [48]

References

  1. Beckett & Miller 2022, pp. xii, 7–8, 10, 12–14, 15.
  2. These three links chronicle how the term pegging came into usage.
  3. 1 2 3 4 5 Beckett & Miller (2022) , foreword by Tristan Taormino
  4. 1 2 3 4 5 6 Beckett & Miller (2022) , "what is pegging?"
  5. Feast, Fancy (28 June 2022). "How Pegging Became More Mainstream". BuzzFeed News . Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  6. Melancon, Sarah (21 July 2023). "How Common Is Pegging". Women's Health Interactive. Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  7. Bansinath, Bindu (28 June 2024). "Pegging Class Is in Session". The Cut . Retrieved 13 October 2025.
  8. Matatas, Luna (16 August 2022). "What Is Pegging? A Beginner's & Kinkster's Guide". Zipper Magazine. Retrieved 13 October 2025.
  9. Savage, Dan (12 February 2020). "I pegged my boyfriend and now he wants to be 'the girl'". Chicago Reader . Retrieved 13 October 2025.
  10. Kerner, Ian (16 April 2021). "A Sex Therapist Explains Everything to Know About Anal". Men's Health . Retrieved 7 November 2024.
  11. Bacharach, Elizabeth; Kassel, Gabrielle (22 April 2024). "Everything You've Ever Wondered About Pegging, Explained". Women's Health . Retrieved 7 November 2024.
  12. Thomas, Sophie Saint (8 May 2019). "A Beginner's Guide to Pegging Your Partner". Allure . Retrieved 4 May 2025.
  13. Nathan, Debbie (1 April 1999). "Sodomy for the Masses". The Nation . Retrieved 13 October 2025.
  14. Ward, Jane (March 2022). The Tragedy of Heterosexuality. NYU Press. p. 156. ISBN   978-1-4798-0446-7 . Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  15. Branfman, Jonathan; Ekberg Stiritz, Susan (14 December 2012). "Teaching Men's Anal Pleasure: Challenging Gender Norms with "Prostage" Education" . American Journal of Sexuality Education . 7 (4): 404–428. doi:10.1080/15546128.2012.740951. ISSN   1554-6128 . Retrieved 9 November 2024.
  16. Winter, Nora; Struve, Morgaine (2021). The other sex work: the feminist academic pornography discourse (1st ed.). Tectum Verlag. p. 63. ISBN   9783828877290 . Retrieved 7 November 2024.
  17. Luxx, Lisa (31 May 2019). "Is it "Feminist" To Wear a Strap-On?". Slutever.com . Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  18. Sciortino, Karley (20 January 2016). "Why (Some) Women Love Strap-Ons". Vogue . Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  19. Brodesser-Akner, Taffy (5 December 2016). "Tom Ford on Sex, Death, and Why You'll Never See His Kid in Ugly Shoes". GQ . Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  20. Lister, Kate (26 March 2024). "Why all straight men should try pegging once". i . Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  21. Taormino, Tristan (28 December 2007). "Bend Over, Boys!". The Village Voice. Archived from the original on 28 December 2007. Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  22. Lust, Erika (8 February 2016). "The Girl's Guide to Pegging". Erikalust.io. Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  23. Myers, Justin (3 February 2022). "What is pegging and how can it improve your sex life?". British GQ . Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  24. Taormino, Tristan (3 December 2007). "The Queer Heterosexual". The Village Voice. Archived from the original on 3 December 2007. Retrieved 17 November 2024.
  25. 1 2 May, Gareth (30 March 2016). "Bend Over, Bro: The Men Who Love Pegging". Broadly. Archived from the original on 3 April 2016. Retrieved 13 October 2025.
  26. Lehmiller, Justin. "The Peak of Pegging? Why Anal Eroticism Is Everywhere in Porn and Pop Culture". Playboy . Archived from the original on 26 June 2018. Retrieved 6 May 2025.
  27. Head, Ally (23 November 2022). "Ever heard of pegging? Why it's the latest sex position everyone's talking about". Marie Claire . Retrieved 4 May 2025.
  28. Schwyzer, Hugo (1 March 2013). "If You Want a More Thoughtful Boyfriend, Try Pegging Him". Jezebel . Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  29. "It's totally OK to like pegging if you're a straight man - 7 guys tells us why". Metro . 22 November 2017. Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  30. Aspinall, Georgia (19 March 2024). "Want To Try Pegging? Here's How To Talk To Your Boyfriend About It". Grazia . Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  31. The i Paper Team (31 March 2023). "My boyfriend talked me into trying pegging. I loved it, but ever since he's gone cold on me". The i Paper . Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  32. Bokody, Nadia (13 August 2022). "Nadia Bokody: Surprising sex trend men love, but will never admit". News.com.au . Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  33. Mangaldas, Leeza (17 October 2022). The Sex Book: A Joyful Journey of Self-Discovery. HarperCollins India. ISBN   978-93-5629-231-4 . Retrieved 8 November 2024.
  34. Leigh, Ebony (25 September 2024). "How to bring up pegging with your partner". Body+Soul . Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  35. Miano, Laura (10 January 2023). "Ask A Sex Therapist: A beginner's guide to pegging". Fashion Journal. Retrieved 12 October 2025.
  36. 1 2 Beckett & Miller (2022) , "media representation of pegging"
  37. de Sade, Marquis (2006). Philosophy in the Boudoir: Or, The Immoral Mentors. Penguin Classics. p. 74. ISBN   0-14-303901-6.
  38. Sweet, Brian (2000). Steely Dan: Reelin' in the Years. Omnibus Press. p.  42. ISBN   0-7119-8279-1.
  39. "Official Steely Dan FAQ". Archived from the original on 27 January 2012. Retrieved 5 July 2016.
  40. Chia-wen Kuo (Veronique Kwak) (1 January 2013). "The Subversive Plasticity of Posthuman Womanhood in the Cases of Vidal's Myra Breckinridge and Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". Navigating Cybercultures. Brill Publishers. pp. 181–191. ISBN   978-1-84888-163-1 . Retrieved 6 March 2024.
  41. Spitznagel, Eric (8 March 2012). "Raquel Welch Hopes People Don't See Her as a "Wretched, Horrible Bitch"". Men's Health . Retrieved 6 March 2024.
  42. 1 2 3 Nault, Curran (Summer 2010). "Bend Over Boyfriend to Take it Like a Man: pegging pornography and the queer representation of straight sex". Jump Cut (52). Archived from the original on 3 March 2016. Retrieved 5 July 2016.
  43. Hope, Clover (5 February 2015). "Last Night's Broad City Was All About Pegging". Jezebel. Archived from the original on 16 July 2016. Retrieved 5 July 2016.
  44. Chan, Mi-Anne (24 June 2015). "Abbi Jacobson Thinks Broad City's Pegging Episode Was 'The Best' One They've Done". Vulture . Retrieved 16 March 2024.
  45. Le Vine, Lauren (9 February 2016). "We Need to Talk About the Pegging Scene in Deadpool". Refinery29. Archived from the original on 7 July 2016. Retrieved 5 July 2016.
  46. Boivin, Justine (26 May 2017). "François Ozon et son Amant Double, virtuose schizophrénie". Le Journal des femmes (in French). Retrieved 16 March 2024.
  47. Frey, Meaghan (27 February 2020). "The Bold Type Season 4 Episode 6 Review: To Peg or Not to Peg". TV Fanatic. Archived from the original on 6 August 2020. Retrieved 26 May 2020.
  48. Zhou, Maggie. "'Peg The Patriarchy': Activism Fashion Has Its Moment At The 2021 Met Gala". Refinery29 . Retrieved 16 March 2024.

Bibliography

Further reading

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