Illustration of "soaking" or the act of vaginal penetration without subsequent thrusting
Soaking is a sexual practice of inserting the penis into the vagina but not subsequently thrusting or ejaculating, reportedly used by some Mormons, also known as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).[5] News sources do not report it being a common practice, and some Latter-day Saints have said that soaking is an urban legend and not an actual practice.[1][6] Others report knowing church members who had soaked,[10] or gave a firsthand account of trying the practice with a partner before marriage while a member of the LDS Church.[11][12][13]
Postings on TikTok and other social media sites have stated that soaking serves as a purported loophole to the LDS Church's sexual code of conduct, called the law of chastity, which says that all sexual activity outside of a heterosexual marriage is a sin,[2][14][15] and further bans masturbation for church members.[16][17][18] At church-run schools like Brigham Young University, students who confess to or are reported for having pre- or extra-marital sex can be expelled because of the universities' codes of conduct.[19] The LDS Church teaches that "it is wrong to touch the private[...] parts of another person's body even if clothed" outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage.[20][21][12] Some news sources directly state that the LDS Church and Mormons do not believe soaking is a loophole to the church's code of sexual conduct.[22]
The term soaking comes from the idea that vaginal lubrication is "soaking" the penis.[23] One source said the term started as "dick soak" on an internet forum in 2009, and morphed to simply "soaking" by 2011, and gained wider use in 2019.[4] One source stated it was difficult to know how common soaking was among Mormon youth due to the secrecy and shame around sex in the LDS Church,[2] and underreporting due to the social-desirability bias is a common issue even among anonymous surveys of many stigmatized sexual behaviors.[24][25] Sexual activity before and outside of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage is strictly forbidden by Mormon teachings. These teachings began with Mormonism's founder Joseph Smith and are contained in The Book of Mormon.[26]
A 2002 US survey found LDS teens had the highest rates of any religious group that reported their parents would be "extremely mad" if they had pre-marital sex (78%).[27]:87 Despite the prohibition, a study by LDS church university sociologists published in 1992 found that 60% of 1,000 Mormon teen women surveyed reported having had sex before marriage,[28][29][30] and a smaller survey of 158 married Mormon women in 1995 found that 32% reported having premarital sex.[31]
Two satirical social media accounts, the BYU Virginity Club[49] and the BYU Slut Club,[50] have both disavowed the practice.[51][11] Articles have stated that soaking does not prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infection and may still result in pregnancy.[3][23] One interviewee stated it was "a dangerous form of misinformation being used to manipulate naive girls in college dorms."[52]
Related practices
Practices described in the following sources as related to soaking include jump humping, provo pushing, and durfing:
Jump humping – Soaking is sometimes accompanied by "jump humping", in which a third person is invited to bounce on the bed (or to push up on the mattress from below) for a couple engaged in soaking, thus generating motion for them (according to TikTokers ExmoLex and FuneralPotatoSlut, and a BYU student interviewee on Barstool Sports).[54] The external source of motion allegedly absolves the soaking couple from responsibility for any genital movement.[1][2][55]
Provo pushing – The "jump hump" assistant has been termed the "bed jumper" or "Provo pusher" (after Provo, Utah, home of BYU).[1] Other definitions of "provo push" refer to it as clothed or unclothed, non-penetrative dry humping or sexual frottage between Mormons.[56][57]
Durfing – Dry humping between church members is also called "durfing".[58][9][59]
Poophole loophole – Using anal sex to skirt rules around vaginal intercourse and to retain virginity is termed the "poophole loophole",[60][49] and is reportedly used by some Mormons.[4][12][61] One study found US teens who pledged to not have sex until marriage were more likely to engage in anal sex without vaginal sex than teens who had not made a sexual abstinence pledge, and found pledge-takers were just as likely to test positive for a sexually transmitted infection (STI) five years after taking the pledge as those who had not pledged to abstinence.[62]
Historical citing of the practice
In 1885, one of the LDS Church's top leaders, 73-year-old apostleAlbert Carrington, argued during the hearings before his excommunication that his decade of extramarital sexual relationships with multiple younger women did not count as adultery (a violation of the church's law of chastity) and was just a "little folly" because he would only partially penetrate the vagina with just the tip of his penis and part of the shaft (reportedly to less than the total "depth of four inches"), and pulled out before ejaculation.[63]:147 Then First Presidency member Joseph F. Smith called Carrington's actions a "transgression" and other top leaders called them "crimes of lewd and lascivious conduct and adultery", and Carrington was excommunicated.[63]:141,156 Carrington was rebaptized two years later.[63]:159
↑ "Chapter 3: Missionary Conduct". Missionary Standards for Disciple of Jesus Christ. LDS Church. November 2019. Archived from the original on November 21, 2019 – via Internet Archive. You should avoid any thought or action that would separate you from the Spirit of God. This includes but is not limited to adultery; fornication; same-sex activity; oral sex; arousing sexual feelings; inappropriate touching; sending or receiving messages, images, or videos that are immoral or sexual in nature; masturbation; and viewing or using pornography.
↑ King, Bruce M. (April 1, 2022). "The Influence of Social Desirability on Sexual Behavior Surveys: A Review". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 51 (3). Springer Science: 1495–1501. doi:10.1007/s10508-021-02197-0. ISSN1573-2800. PMC8917098. PMID35142972– via ResearchGate.net. However, indirect evidence indicates that under-reporting (e.g., of a number of sexual partners, receptive anal intercourse, condom use) is common. Among the general population, several studies have now reported that even with anonymous responding, there are significant correlations between a variety of self-reported sexual behaviors (e.g., use of condoms, sexual fantasies, exposure to pornography, penis size) and social desirability, with evidence that extreme under- or over-reporting is as common as is found in other fields.
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