Daddy (slang)

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A man wears a shirt reading "Sissy Daddy" in the 2017 Chicago Pride Parade Sissy Daddy (35390746442).jpg
A man wears a shirt reading "Sissy Daddy" in the 2017 Chicago Pride Parade

A Daddy in gay culture is a slang term meaning a man sexually involved in a relationship with a younger male. [1] [2] [3] An age gap, maturity gap, and varying levels of sexual experience are possible aspects of a "Daddy/boy" relationship.[ citation needed ]

Contents

In an internet meme context, Know Your Meme defines the term as a "slang term of affection used to address a male authority figure or idol in a sexualized manner." [4]

A "Daddy/boy" relationship can share similarities with a dynamic of dominance and submission. [5]

History

New York claimed in 2017 that the specific archetype evolved from leather subculture, which began in the 1940s. [6]

The "leather daddy" archetype, which has sadomasochistic associations, was proliferated in such media as the Drummer magazine (launched in 1975); 1976 to 1979 gay pornographic films Working Man Trilogy ; and BDSM novels by Larry Townsend. [7] [6]

Predecessors

According to the Historical Dictionary of American Slang , the earliest use of "daddy" in a non-paternal context was in 1681, in reference to what sex workers called their procurers or older male customers. [8] [9]

Throughout the 1920s, the term was used in blues music and African-American Vernacular English to mean one's boyfriend, especially an older man or a sugar daddy. In 1920, the term is used in a romantic context in Aileen Stanley's blues song "I Wonder Where My Sweet, Sweet Daddy's Gone." [10] Its usage is similar in Lavinia Turner's 1922 song "How Can I Be Your 'Sweet Mama' When You're 'Daddy' to Someone Else?" [8] [11] The same year, the term appears in Trixie Smith's "My Man Rocks Me" in the lyrics "My man rocks me, with one steady roll [...] I said now, Daddy, ain’t we got fun". [12] [9]

A shirt reading "I Love Daddy Bears", pictured at the Oslo pride parade, 2015 Bukseseler (19179944246).jpg
A shirt reading "I Love Daddy Bears", pictured at the Oslo pride parade, 2015

In gay culture

New York claimed in 2017 that the gay term evolved from leather subculture, which began in the 1940s. [6]

In the 1970s, the "leather daddy" archetype (which has sadomasochistic associations) was proliferated in such media as the Drummer magazine (launched in 1975); 1976 to 1979 gay pornographic films Working Man Trilogy ; and BDSM novels by Larry Townsend. [7] [6]

Braidon Schaufert has claimed that the term was further normalized through to Game Grumps' 2017 visual novel game, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator , which centered "queer fathers in a romance game" and gained a significant online fandom. [13]

The term has increasingly been applied to heterosexual relationships.[ citation needed ]

Gender

In 2000, Andrew Schopp claimed that the Daddy archetype "challenge[s] dominant ideologies of masculinity by appropriating the icons of masculinity and male authority (jocks, leather, motorcycles, uniforms) and transporting them into the realm of gay male sexual experience." [14]

In 2018, Braidon Schaufert claimed that, by creating the 'daddy' term, "Queer communities have separated the specific gender performance of fatherhood from the actual act of raising children". [13]

In the context of T4T relationships (specifically, trans men dating trans men), a Daddy/boy dynamic can be part of the gender affirmation process, thereby leading to gender euphoria. In 2022, Transgender Studies Quarterly claimed that a Daddy/boy dynamic between trans people "can be read as gender labor; affective and intersubjective work that produces gender". [15] [16]

See also

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexuality and gender identity-based cultures</span> Variety of communities and subcultures

Sexuality and gender identity-based cultures are subcultures and communities composed of people who have shared experiences, backgrounds, or interests due to common sexual or gender identities. Among the first to argue that members of sexual minorities can also constitute cultural minorities were Adolf Brand, Magnus Hirschfeld, and Leontine Sagan in Germany. These pioneers were later followed by the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis in the United States.

Sissy, also sissy baby, sissy boy, sissy man, sissy pants, etc., is a pejorative term for a boy or man who does not demonstrate masculine traits, and shows possible signs of fragility. Generally, sissy implies a lack of courage, strength, athleticism, coordination, testosterone, male libido, and stoicism. A man might also be considered a sissy for being interested in typically feminine hobbies or employment, displaying effeminate behavior, being unathletic or being homosexual.

<i>Butch</i> and <i>femme</i> Masculine and feminine identities in lesbians

Butch and femme are masculine (butch) or feminine (femme) identities in the lesbian subculture which have associated traits, behaviors, styles, self-perception, and so on. This concept has been called a "way to organize sexual relationships and gender and sexual identity". Butch–femme culture is not the sole form of a lesbian dyadic system, as there are many women in butch–butch and femme–femme relationships.

Femme is a term traditionally used to describe a lesbian woman who exhibits a feminine identity or gender presentation. While commonly viewed as a lesbian term, alternate meanings of the word also exist with some non-lesbian individuals using the word, notably some gay men, bisexuals, non-binary, and transgender individuals.

LGBT slang, LGBT speak, queer slang, or gay slang is a set of English slang lexicon used predominantly among LGBTQ+ people. It has been used in various languages since the early 20th century as a means by which members of the LGBTQ+ community identify themselves and speak in code with brevity and speed to others. The acronym LGBT was popularized in the 1990s and stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. It may refer to anyone who is non-heterosexual or non-cisgender, instead of exclusively to people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. To recognize this inclusion, a popular variant, LGBTQ, adds the letter Q for those who identify as queer or are questioning their sexual or gender identity.

The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to transgender topics.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Trans man</span> Man assigned female at birth

A trans man is a man who was assigned female at birth. Trans men have a male gender identity, and many trans men undergo medical and social transition to alter their appearance in a way that aligns with their gender identity or alleviates gender dysphoria.

Effeminacy is the embodiment of feminine traits in boys or men, particularly those considered untypical of men or masculinity. These traits include roles, stereotypes, behaviors, and appearances that are socially associated with women and girls. Throughout history, men considered effeminate have faced prejudice and discrimination. Gay men are often stereotyped as being effeminate, and vice versa. However, femininity, masculinity, and other forms of gender expression are independent of sexual orientation.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) characters have been depicted in video games since the 1980s. In the history of video games, LGBT characters have been almost nonexistent for a long time, reflecting the overall heteronormativity of the medium. While there has been a trend towards greater representation of LGBT people in video games, they are frequently identified as LGBT in secondary material, such as comics, rather than in the games themselves. In 2018, Sam Greer of Gamesradar+ found only 179 games commercially released games with any LGBT representation, only 83 of which have queer characters who are playable characters, and only 8 of those games feature a main character who is pre-written as queer as opposed to them being queer as an option.

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Boi is slang within gay male and butch and femme communities for several sexual or gender identities. In some lesbian communities, there is an increasing acceptance of variant gender expression, as well as allowing people to identify as a boi.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Attraction to transgender people</span> Romantic or sexual attraction to transgender people

Sexual attraction to transgender people has been the subject of scientific study and social commentary. Psychologists have researched sexual attraction toward trans women, trans men, cross dressers, non-binary people, and a combination of these. Publications in the field of transgender studies have investigated the attraction transgender individuals can feel for each other. The people who feel this attraction to transgender people name their attraction in different ways.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Transgender sexuality</span> Sexuality of transgender people

Sexuality in transgender individuals encompasses all the issues of sexuality of other groups, including establishing a sexual identity, learning to deal with one's sexual needs, and finding a partner, but may be complicated by issues of gender dysphoria, side effects of surgery, physiological and emotional effects of hormone replacement therapy, psychological aspects of expressing sexuality after medical transition, or social aspects of expressing their gender.

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<i>Kathoey</i> Gender identity in Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand

Kathoey or katoey is an identity used by some people in Cambodia, Laos and Thailand, whose identities in English may be best described as transgender women in some cases, or effeminate gay men in other cases. These people are not traditionally transgender, however are seen as a third sex, being one body containing two souls. Transgender women in Thailand mostly use terms other than kathoey when referring to themselves, such as phuying. A significant number of Thai people perceive kathoey as belonging to a separate sex, including some transgender women themselves.

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Outline of LGBT topics</span> Overview of and topical guide to LGBT topics

The following outline offers an overview and guide to LGBT topics.

<i>Femboy</i> Slang term for an effeminate boy

Femboy ( ), also spelled femboi, is a slang term for a male or non-binary individual who expresses themselves with traditionally feminine behaviours. As an internet aesthetic, this may be through the use of jewellery, wearing feminine clothing and makeup, or expressing feminine behavioural qualities. Femboy can be used as both a sexual and non-sexual term; it does not denote a specific sexual orientation or gender role, but instead marks a form of gender variance.

Vakasalewalewa are people from Fiji, who were assigned male at birth but who have a feminine gender expression. In Fiji this is understood as a traditional third gender identity, culturally specific to the country.

In LGBT slang, a "gold star lesbian" is a lesbian who has never had sex with a man, and a "gold star gay" is a gay man who has never had sex with a woman. The terms can be joking, sincerely held identities, or stereotypes within the LGBT community. When used sincerely, the terms have been criticised as exclusionary towards bisexuality and other experiences of gender and sexuality, and as stigmatising survivors of sexual violence.

References

  1. Kirkland, Justin (2018-06-15). "Here's an Outrageously Comprehensive Guide to the Term 'Daddy'". Esquire . Retrieved 2023-12-10.
  2. Mahale, Aniruddha (2018-01-07). "The Guysexual's Urban Dictionary for Gay Slang". Firstpost . Archived from the original on 2021-05-16.
  3. Borge, Jonathan (2017-10-23). "Why People Are Calling Hot Guys Daddy". InStyle . Retrieved 2023-12-10.
  4. "Daddy". Know Your Meme. 2016-08-22. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  5. Weinberg, Thomas S. (1995). S and M : Studies in dominance and submission. Prometheus Books. ISBN   0-87975-978-X. OCLC   478487523.
  6. 1 2 3 4 Albo, Mike (2013-06-14). "Rise of the 'Daddies': A New (and Sexy) Gay Niche". The Cut. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  7. 1 2 "Larry Townsend Books List". Ranker. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  8. 1 2 Farhi, Paul (January 4, 2005). "Conception of a Question: Who's Your Daddy?". Washington Post .
  9. 1 2 Karen. "The Deal with Daddy". Acelinguist.com. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  10. ""I Wonder Where My Sweet Sweet Daddy's Gone" Aileen Stanley (1920) T. A. Hammed & Ray H. Stark" . Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  11. "How Can I Be Your "Sweet Mama" When You Are "Daddy" to Somebody Else? - Lavinia Turner" . Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  12. "My Man Rocks Me (With One Steady Roll) - Trixie Smith and the Jazz Masters_(Released October 1922)" . Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  13. 1 2 Schaufert, Braidon (December 2018). "Daddy's Play: Subversion and Normativity in Dream Daddy's Queer World". Game Studies. 18 (3). ISSN   1604-7982.
  14. Schopp, A. (2000). (De)Constructing Daddy: The absent father, revisionist masculinity and/in queer cultural representations. disClosure: A Journal of Social Theory, 9(3), 15-39.
  15. Cassius Adair; Aren Aizura (February 1, 2022). ""The Transgender Craze Seducing Our [Sons]"; or, All the Trans Guys Are Just Dating Each Other". Transgender Studies Quarterly.
  16. Cameron Awkward-Rich; Hil Malatino (February 1, 2022). "Meanwhile, t4t". Transgender Studies Quarterly.