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Type of site | Adult social networking |
|---|---|
| Available in | English |
| Founded | January 3, 2008 |
| Headquarters | Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada |
| Founder(s) | John Kopanas |
| Parent | BitLove, Inc. |
| URL | fetlife |
| Registration | Required |
| Current status | Active |
| Written in | Ruby on Rails |
FetLife is a social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink. It distinguishes itself from competitors by emphasizing itself as a social network rather than a dating site. [1]
FetLife was launched on January 3, 2008, by John Kopanas (also known by his username John Baku), a software engineer in Montreal, Quebec. [2] [3] [4] Frustrated by attempts to find women who had the same sexual interests as he did, Baku created a website in 2007 called "FriendsWithFetishes". While working on release 2.0 of FriendsWithFetishes, Baku decided to launch it as a separate site and named it FetLife. [5] James Golick served as chief technology officer. [6] In 2009 Baku received the Community Choice (Man) Award as part of the Pantheon of Leather Awards. [7]
In January 2017, FetLife deleted hundreds of groups - including anything with the words blood, needles, rape and incest - and temporarily shut down the ability to create new groups following pressure from their payment processor. [8] [9] The action by the payment processor was criticized by the Electronic Frontier Foundation as censorship. [10]
All members have a personal profile with the option to display one or more sexual orientations, D/s roles and fetishes from respective lists. Profiles can also list relationships with other members. [11]
Members can create and join groups which function as internet forums, send direct messages to one or more other members and advertise and organize events. Members can also post blog entries, photographs and videos, either publicly or only to members in the poster's friends list, along with comments on other members' posts. [12]
The search feature is deliberately limited to prevent members from finding users with specific characteristics, such as age and gender, and blog posts can only be searched via tags specified by the poster. [13]
In 2012, FetLife found itself at the center of a controversy regarding its policy that users pledge not to "make criminal accusations against another member in a public forum". [14] This policy has been objected to by users on the basis that censoring posts of sexual assault victims that name predatory users prevents them from warning others. [15] [16] [17] [18] FetLife's reasoning behind this policy is that it allows users to accuse others of a crime, which could be libelous if the allegations are false or unprovable. [19] [20]
In April 2017, FetLife was accessed by Brendt Christensen, the killer of Yingying Zhang, to explore discussion forums on topics relating to abduction and kidnapping. [21] Following this and other similar incidents, FetLife removed several hundred fetishes. [22]
While the site's terms of service prohibit promoting racism or hate, FetLife has faced criticism for not adequately addressing the increasing prevalence of racist content. During the George Floyd protests, members reported an increase in racist hate speech and extremist content, including "white power" symbols, posts glorifying Nazi imagery, and discussions promoting white supremacy and antisemitism. Additionally, the inclusion of "race play" on the "official" fetish list has divided members, with some defending the practice as a consensual exploration of historical trauma and others criticizing it as a form of racism and fetishization. [23]
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.
Urolagnia is a paraphilia in which sexual excitement is associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination. The term has origins in the Greek language. Golden shower is slang for the practice of urinating on another person for sexual pleasure, while watersports is the more inclusive term.
Sexual roleplay is roleplay that has a strong erotic element. It may involve two or more people who act out roles in order to bring to life a sexual fantasy and may be a form of foreplay and be sexually arousing. Many people regard sexual roleplay as a means of overcoming sexual inhibitions. It may take place in the real world, or via an internet forum, chat-room, video-game, or email—allowing for physically or virtually impossible erotic interests to be enacted.
A munch is a casual social gathering for people involved in or interested in kink, BDSM, alternative relationship lifestyles, or fetishes. No BDSM, kink, or fetish activities take place, however.
Leather subculture denotes practices and styles of dress organized around sexual activities that involve leather garments, such as leather jackets, vests, boots, chaps, harnesses, or other items. Wearing leather garments is one way that participants in this culture self-consciously distinguish themselves from mainstream sexual cultures. Many participants associate leather culture with BDSM practices and its many subcultures. For some, black leather clothing is an erotic fashion that expresses heightened masculinity or the appropriation of sexual power; love of motorcycles, motorcycle clubs and independence; and/or engagement in sexual kink or leather fetishism.
A fetish magazine is a type of magazine originating in the late 1940s which is devoted to sexual fetishism. The content is generally aimed at being erotic rather than pornographic. Fetish magazines are usually devoted to a specific fetish, such as leather fetishism, rubber and PVC fetishism, cross-dressing, bondage, sadomasochism, female domination, sexual roleplay, corporal punishment, etc. Much of the content in fetish magazines is baffling to people who do not share the particular fetishes discussed and depicted.
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is an American sex-positive advocacy and educational organization founded in 1997. NCSF has over one hundred coalition partners, and over sixty supporting members. NCSF advocates on behalf of adults involved in alternative lifestyles with respect to sexuality and relationship composition, specifically for tolerance and non-discrimination of those so identified, as well as education for adults involved in such lifestyles. The organization's main office is in Baltimore, Maryland.
Macrophilia is a fascination with or a sexual fantasy involving giants, most commonly expressed as giant humans, as well as giant objects. In 2023, the Giantess kink was found to be the most popular kink searched for on the website Clips4Sale. Generally, depictions range from sexually explicit actions to non-sexual interactions while still providing sexual stimulation for those with the fantasy.
Gloria Brame is an American sexologist, writer and sex therapist based in Athens, Georgia. She is a member of the American College of Sexologists, and clinical sexologist. Her sex therapy practice specializes in consensual BDSM, sexual fetishism and sexual dysfunction.
This glossary of BDSM defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) is a private, nonprofit organization established in 1984 by the United States Congress. In September 2013, the United States House of Representatives, United States Senate, and the President of the United States reauthorized the allocation of $40 million in funding for the organization as part of Missing Children's Assistance Reauthorization Act of 2013. The current chair of the organization is Jon Grosso of Kohl's. NCMEC handles cases of missing minors from infancy to young adults through age 20.
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour. The term "kink" has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism as a term or synonym for their practices, indicating a range of sexual and sexualistic practices from playful to sexual objectification and certain paraphilias. In the 21st century the term "kink", along with expressions like BDSM, leather and fetish, has become more commonly used than the term paraphilia. Some universities also feature student organizations focused on kinks, within the context of wider LGBTQ concerns.
Fucking Machines is a pornographic website founded in 2000 that features video and photographs of women engaged in autoerotic sexual stimulation with penetrative sex-machines and sex toys. Based in San Francisco, California, the site is operated by Kink.com. Web entrepreneur Peter Acworth launched Fucking Machines on September 25, 2000, as his company's second website after Kink.com. Devices shown on the site were created with the intent to bring women authentic orgasms. Performers were instructed to allow themselves to be recorded experiencing pleasure.
Feminization or feminisation, sometimes forced feminization, and also known as sissification, is a practice in dominance and submission or kink subcultures, involving reversal of gender roles and making a submissive male take on a feminine role, which includes cross-dressing. Subsets of the practice include "sissy training" and variations thereof, where the submissive male is "trained" to become feminine.
NeoGAF is an Internet forum primarily dedicated to the discussion of video games. Founded as an adjunct to a video game news site under the name Gaming-Age Forums, on April 4, 2006 it changed its name to NeoGAF and became independently hosted and administered.
Xtube was a Canadian pornographic video hosting service and social networking site based in Toronto, Ontario. It was established in 2006 and is notable for being the first adult community site to allow users to upload and share adult videos. Xtube was not a producer of pornography, instead it provided a platform for content uploaded by users. User-submitted content included pornographic videos, webcam models, pornographic photographs, and erotic literature, and incorporated social networking features.
Kink.com is an independent San Francisco-based bondage internet pornography company that runs a group of websites devoted to BDSM and related fetishes. Kink.com, along with Kink Studios, LLC, Hogtied.com and Behindkink.com are DBAs for Cybernet Entertainment LLC, the parent company that operates the studio.
Lord Morpheous is a Canadian sex educator, author and photographer based in New York. He is the author of How to Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM, How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime and Bondage Basics: Naughty Knots and Risque Restraints You Need to Know. Morpheous' work is archived in the Sexual Representation Collection of the University of Toronto's Mark S. Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies, at the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, and at the National Archives of Canada. Morpheous has taught a variety of workshops on rope bondage, the aesthetics of bondage, fetish photography, advanced and beginner BDSM, and workshops catered to professional dominants and submissives. He is also the founder of Morpheous’ Bondage Extravaganza, an annual rope bondage themed art installation.
Recon is a location-based online dating application and service specifically for gay men interested in fetish and kink. It launched as a website in 1999, and as an iOS app in 2010. It has 189,000 active users as of 2018.
In an apologetic post to the FetLife community, founder John Kopanas — better known on the site by his username JohnBaku — said the restrictions were the only way out of an existential threat
He told me about his growing company, and a month later, the consulting firm I'd been running was closed, our office vacant, and I had joined BitLove (the company that runs FetLife — which was then known as Protose) as CTO.
You agree that, while using BitLove's Products and Services, you will not [...] Make criminal accusations against another member in a public forum.
Authorities also searched Christensen's home and seized electronics, including his phone, according to the affidavit. The phone's search history revealed visits to a bondage and sadomasochism fetish website called FetLife and a forum called "Abduction 101," as well as subthreads titled "Perfect abduction fantasy" and "planning a kidnapping," according to the affidavit
FetLife prohibited hundreds of fetish categories this year after it was cited in several criminal cases, Baku said in a February online note to members.
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