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The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe an individual's role during a sexual act. They may more broadly denote a psychological, social, or sexual identity, or indicate one's usual preference. [1] Terms top and bottom refer to active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. [1] [2] [3] A switch is someone who can act as both a top and bottom. Older terms of "active", "passive", and "versatile" are still often used, especially in the context of gay sex. [4]
In BDSM, top can mean either a dominant partner in BDSM play or a partner who applies stimulation to another, and who may or may not be dominant.
Topping from the bottom refers to a person simultaneously adopting the role of bottom and dom.[ example needed ]
A service top is a person who applies sensation or control to a bottom, but does so at the bottom's explicit instructions.
Bottom can mean either a submissive partner in sexual play, or a partner who receives stimulation from another who may or may not be submissive.
A bottom in BDSM does not have to be the submissive; for example, a female dominant may command her bottom to penetrate her.
A switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. [5] This is sometimes referred to as being versatile.
Those who take the superior position in dominance and submission scenes and relationships are called dominants, doms, or dommes (feminine), while those who take the subordinate position are called submissives or subs. A top filling the dominant role is not necessarily a dominant, and vice versa, and a bottom is not necessarily submissive. Other labels may be used depending on the individual or the relationship.
The main difference between a dominant and a top is that the dominant exhibits control within a power exchange dynamic, while a top exhibits control within a scene . A top may or may not be a dominant. [6]
The main difference between a submissive and a bottom is that a submissive cedes power in a power exchange dynamic. A bottom may or may not be a submissive, as power exchange does not have to be a component of their kinky play. [7]
Many distinguish top/bottom from dominant/submissive by seeing top/bottom as an expression of physical power, while dominant/submissive is an expression of psychological power. In both types of relationships - top/bottom and dominant/submissive - consent, negotiations, and mutual respect and support for one another are keys to healthy dynamics.
Beginning in the 1970s, in some American contexts, people would identify their interests by wearing a set of keys on the side of their belt or a color-coded handkerchief in their rear pockets. [8] This practice, called flagging, began in the gay male subculture. [9]
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.
A dominatrix, or domme, is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix can be of any sexual orientation, but this does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. Dominatrices are popularly known for inflicting physical pain on their submissive subjects, but this is not done in every case. In some instances erotic humiliation is used, such as verbal humiliation or the assignment of humiliating tasks. Dominatrices also make use of other forms of servitude. Practices of domination common to many BDSM and other various sexual relationships are also prevalent. A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene.
Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
Ageplay or age play is a form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they are a different age. Ageplay is roleplaying between adults, and involves consent from all parties. Ageplay is not necessarily sexual, but can be. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies to a child to the elderly. Usually this involves someone pretending to be younger than they actually are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role.
In BDSM, service-oriented submission is the performance of personal tasks for a dominant partner, as part of a submissive role in a BDSM relationship. The submissive is sometimes said to be in service to the dominant. Service-oriented submission is part of a spectrum of submissive behaviors, and not all submissives are service-oriented.
Male dominance, or maledom is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner is male. A sexually dominant male in BDSM practices is also known as a maledom. Maledoms can be professional as well as non-professional. The term ProDom is used for a professional male dominant who earns money by working as a professional dominant as part of the sex industry. A maledom who role-plays a paternal figure is also known as Daddy Dom.
Sadism and masochism, known collectively as sadomasochism or S&M, is the derivation of pleasure from acts of respectively inflicting or receiving pain or humiliation. The term is named after the Marquis de Sade, a French author known for his violent and libertine works and lifestyle, and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, an Austrian author who described masochistic tendencies in his works. Sadomasochism is also a definitive feature of consensual BDSM relationships.
Female submission or femsub is an activity or relationship in which a woman submits to the direction of a sexual partner or has her body used sexually by or for the sexual pleasure of her partner. The expression is often associated with BDSM, where submission to such activity is usually voluntarily and consensual. Submission usually involves a degree of trust by the woman in her partner. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The submissive woman may derive sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing control to a trusted dominant partner.
In BDSM, a collar is a device of any material worn by a person to indicate their submissive or slave status in a BDSM relationship. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Collars are used to signify ownership or connection within a Dom/sub relationship. The collar may also be worn by the submissive as a visual indication to others.
Discipline in BDSM is the practice in which the dominant sets rules which the submissive is expected to obey. When rules of expected behaviour are broken, punishment is often used as a means of disciplining.
This glossary of BDSM defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.
Erotic humiliation or sexual humiliation is a consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for either the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned or the person(s) humiliating, or both. It is sometimes performed before spectators, including through pornography and webcam modeling. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals of one or both parties in the activity.
Male submission or malesub is a situation in BDSM and other sexual activities in which the submissive partner is male. A 2015 study indicates that 46.6% of men who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive role, 24% consider themselves to be switches and 29.5% prefer the dominant role.
In human sexuality, top, bottom, and versatile are roles during sexual activity, especially between two males or between males and intersex people. A top is usually a person who penetrates, a bottom is usually one who receives penetration, and someone who is versatile engages in either or both roles. These terms may be elements of self-identity that indicate an individual's usual preference and habits, but might also describe broader sexual identities and social roles.
In BDSM, Master/slave, M/s or sexual slavery is a relationship in which one individual serves another in a consensual authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term "slave" because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave's body, as property or chattel. While male "masters" will usually be referred to as "Master", whether or not female Masters are referred to as "Master" or "Mistress" may depend upon whether they identify as following the leather subculture or BDSM path, or simply preference.
Breast torture is a BDSM activity in which sexual stimulation is provided through the intentional application of physical pain or constriction to the breasts, areolae or nipples of a submissive. It is a popular activity among the kink community. The recipient of such activities may wish to receive them as a result of masochism or they may have a desire to please a dominant who is sadistic. Those involved may also be motivated by breast fetishism. Mild breast torture such as light impact play on the breasts is also occasionally used outside of the BDSM context to provide stimulation and pleasure during conventional sex.
BDSM is a frequent theme in culture and media, including in books, films, television, music, magazines, public performances and online media.
Feminist views on BDSM vary widely from acceptance to rejection. BDSM refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and Sado-Masochism. In order to evaluate its perception, two polarizing frameworks are compared. Some feminists, such as Gayle Rubin and Patrick Califia, perceive BDSM as a valid form of expression of female sexuality, while other feminists, such as Andrea Dworkin and Susan Griffin, have stated that they regard BDSM as a form of woman-hating violence. Some lesbian feminists practice BDSM and regard it as part of their sexual identity.
In video gaming and BDSM culture, a healslut is a player who selects a healer-class character to provide healing to another player as part of a dominant–submissive role-playing dynamic.