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Consent within BDSM is when a participant gives their permission for certain acts or types of relationships. It bears much in common with the concept of informed consent and is simultaneously a personal, ethical and social issue. It is an issue that attracts much attention within BDSM, resulting in competing models of consent such as safe, sane and consensual and risk-aware consensual kink. [1] Observers from outside the BDSM community have also commented on the issue of consent in BDSM, sometimes referring to legal consent which is a separate and largely unrelated matter. However, the presence of explicit consent within BDSM can often have implications for BDSM and the law and, depending on the country the participants are in, may make the differences between being prosecuted or not.
Where an act has been previously consented to, the consent can be terminated at any point, and by any participant, through using a safeword. [2] Within the BDSM community, it is generally considered a high risk activity to engage in BDSM without a safeword. Acts undertaken with a lack of explicit consent may be considered abusive and those who ignore the use of a safeword may be shunned within the BDSM subculture. [3] [4] One study has shown that BDSM negotiations to establish consent consist of four parts covering style of play, body parts, limits and safewords. [5]
Consensual non-consent (CNC) is a type of erotic roleplay that plays out as though it is non-consensual but has in fact been consented to. Consensual non-consent includes any form of BDSM play where it has been agreed in advance that the standard means of revoking consent, for example saying "stop", "no", or "don't", will not apply. The majority of BDSM practitioners who participate in consensual non-consent activities will uses prearranged safewords as a means of revoking consent. [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
BDSM communities share a common language of consent. Various models are expressed as acronyms representing differing approaches towards a philosophy of consent.
Safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) is the most recognizable and popular model of consent in BDSM circles, though not without criticism. [11] It means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind in their conduct, and that all participants do consent.
Risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) is the second most popular consent model. It is generally permissive of certain risky sexual behaviors, as long as the participants are fully aware of the risks. It was created to overcome perceived shortcomings of SSC. [12]
Other less well known models of consent in BDSM include CCC, which stands for Committed, Compassionate, Consensual and the 4 C's — Caring, Communication, Consent, Caution. [13]
The 2007 conviction of Glenn Marcus on counts of sex trafficking and forced labor in renewed much debate on the issue of consent in BDSM, both within and outside the community. [14] In a similar case of an accusation made by a participant that the activities had not been consensual, in April 2007 two UK men were convicted of false imprisonment in a case where a third party who had been treated like a dog asserted the matter had not been consensual. [15]
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.
Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone to acts with another person in varying patterns of frequency, for a wide variety of reasons. Sexual activity usually results in sexual arousal and physiological changes in the aroused person, some of which are pronounced while others are more subtle. Sexual activity may also include conduct and activities which are intended to arouse the sexual interest of another or enhance the sex life of another, such as strategies to find or attract partners, or personal interactions between individuals. Sexual activity may follow sexual arousal.
In BDSM, a safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used by a person to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some safewords are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a reduced level of intensity.
The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it be performed with the informed consent of all parties. Since the 1980s, many practitioners and organizations have adopted the motto safe, sane and consensual, commonly abbreviated SSC, which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind in their conduct, and that all participants do consent. It is mutual consent that makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault and domestic violence.
Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
In BDSM, edgeplay is a subjective term for activity that may challenge the conventional safe, sane and consensual ("SSC") scheme; if one is aware of the risks and consequences and is willing to accept them, then the activity is considered risk-aware consensual kink ("RACK").
In BDSM culture, a play party is a social event in which attendees socialize with like-minded people and engage in BDSM activities. Generally there is an area for drinking and socializing, an area for changing into more appropriate attire, and an area for "play" or sexually arousing activities.
Risk-aware consensual kink is an acronym used by some of the BDSM community to describe a philosophical view that is generally permissive of certain risky sexual behaviors, as long as the participants are fully aware of the risks. This is often viewed in contrast to safe, sane, and consensual which generally holds that only activities that are considered safe, sane, and consensual are permitted.
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is an American sex-positive advocacy and educational organization founded in 1997. NCSF has over one hundred coalition partners, and over sixty supporting members. NCSF advocates on behalf of adults involved in alternative lifestyles with respect to sexuality and relationship composition, specifically for tolerance and non-discrimination of those so identified, as well as education for adults involved in such lifestyles. The organization's main office is in Baltimore, Maryland.
This glossary of BDSM defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.
Play, within BDSM circles, is any of the wide variety of "kinky" activities. This includes both physical and mental activities, covering a wide range of intensities and levels of social acceptability. The term originated in the BDSM club and party communities, indicating the activities taking place within a scene. It has since extended to the full range of BDSM activities.
In BDSM, limits refer to issues that participants in a play scene or dynamic feel strongly about, usually referring to prohibited activities. Participants typically negotiate an outline of what activities will and will not take place. The participants describe what they desire, do not desire, will and will not tolerate, including the determination of limits. For example, it is common to set a safeword and to establish certain types of play as prohibited.
Sensation play, also known as sensual play or sensory play, is an act where senses are engaged in various ways to heighten erotic pleasure and induce sensuality. As an activity, it is meant to impart pleasurable and arousing sensations upon a partner, usually during an intimate interaction.
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour. The term "kink" has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism as a term or synonym for their practices, indicating a range of sexual and sexualistic practices from playful to sexual objectification and certain paraphilias. In the 21st century the term "kink", along with expressions like BDSM, leather and fetish, has become more commonly used than the term paraphilia. Some universities also feature student organizations focused on kinks, within the context of wider LGBTQ concerns.
Conversio Virium (CV), one of the oldest university student-run BDSM education groups in the United States, is the central Columbia University student organization that represents the college's collective population who engage in consensual BDSM and related activities. CV is a not-for-profit group that advocates strongly for freedom of sexual self-expression and is particularly concerned with creating a safe and welcoming environment for young people to explore their interest in alternative sexual practices, especially consensual sexual dominance and submission (D/s). CV participates in many of New York City's sexuality community events alongside similar organizations such as The Eulenspiegel Society.
In BDSM, Master/slave, M/s or sexual slavery is a relationship in which one individual serves another in a consensual authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term "slave" because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave's body, as property or chattel. While male "masters" will usually be referred to as "Master", whether or not female Masters are referred to as "Master" or "Mistress" may depend upon whether they identify as following the leather subculture or BDSM path, or simply preference.
The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles during a sexual act, or they may more broadly denote a psychological, social, or sexual identity, or indicate one's usual preference. The terms top, bottom, and switch are also used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In BDSM, a top is the person doing something to someone else, and a bottom is the person receiving that act. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. A switch is someone who can act as both a top and bottom. The older term versatile is sometimes used instead of switch.
Criminalization of consensual BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland and parts of Australia some BDSM practices can be considered criminal.