Don't Ask Don't Tell (film)

Last updated
Don't Ask Don't Tell
Don't Ask Don't Tell FilmPoster.jpeg
Directed byDoug Miles
Produced byJackie Eagan
Written byTex Hauser
Starring
Music by
  • Bruce Engler
  • Spencer Miles
  • Raj Haldar
  • The Sophisticuffs
  • Curmudgeon Boy
  • Left Field
  • Frenchy Burrito
Cinematography George Gibson
Edited byJackie Eagan
Distributed byLifesize Entertainment
Release date
  • 2002 (2002)
Running time
80 minutes
CountryUnited States
LanguageEnglish

Don't Ask Don't Tell is a 2002 parody film directed by Doug Miles and written by famed gay screenwriter Tex Hauser. The 2002 winner of the Boston Underground Film Festival (BUFF) Bachus Award, The Neuchatel Sci-Fi Fest Audience Choice Award, and much critical acclaim for its razor sharp, if quite demented social satire, it was created by taking an old sci-fi movie— Killers from Space —overdubbing the soundtrack with humorous dialogue, and adding some new scenes, essentially turning it into an entirely different movie. The plot involves alien invaders with a machine that turns straight people gay.

Contents

Plot

Scientist Doug Fartin (who insists that his name is pronounced “Far-tan”) is in charge of Operation Manhole, a project to eliminate all homosexuals in the military by luring them to a specific spot and then dropping a bomb on them. The bomb, however, misses its target and instead obliterates part of the nearby town of Inbred, Texas. The plane is then struck by an invisible force and crashes to earth, and its occupants—Dr. Fartin and the pilot—are presumed dead.

Fartin, however, was saved from the plane by extraterrestrials with bulging eyeballs, who then performed an operation on him. Fartin wanders back to the military base the next day, with no memory of how he survived the plane crash, and is beginning to exhibit stereotypically gay behavior (e.g., he keeps using the word “fabulous”).

Base commander Colonel Butz and surgeon Major Problemo talk to Doug's wife, Vagina, about her husband's new behavior; if she can't turn him back into “a real man,” he'll be included in the next bombing. She tries her best to sexually arouse him, but he can only have sex with her while imagining that she's Ted Kennedy.

The next day, Doug Fartin—whose security clearance has been revoked because of his new gayness—steals a piece of paper from a vault in Butz's office. Upon hearing of this, FBI agent Priggs tries to figure out what was stolen, which isn't easy because the vault is highly disorganized and mostly filled with take-out menus. Priggs discovers a handful of marijuana on the floor in front of the vault, and immediately recognizes it as part of Fartin's stash.

Doug arrives at Sodom Flats with the paper, but is caught and confronted by Priggs. Doug punches Priggs out and tries to escape in his car, but a hallucination of bulging eyeballs causes him to run off the road and crash. Regaining consciousness in the base infirmary, Fartin remembers what happened to him after the plane went down, and tells his story to Butz and the others:

The aliens, who are from Uranus (“an all-gay planet”), have been the ones responsible for creating homosexuals on Earth and other planets. Over the centuries, they've monitored these planets and tried to snuff out homophobia. The last time they’d visited Earth was during World War II, when their agents abducted Adolf Hitler and turned him into a cross-dressing lounge singer on another planet; the Germans set up an imposter in Hitler's place, but when the imposter ordered the invasion of Russia, the aliens knew that Nazi Germany was doomed, so they left.

Now the aliens have returned, with a new mission: to build a machine whose transmissions will cause everyone on Earth to become homosexual. They had ordered Fartin to return to the military base, steal from the vault the bottom half of page 32 from the original manuscript of Giovanni's Room , and bring it to the aliens’ subterranean headquarters at Sodom Flats. Fartin rightly concluded that there's something on the paper that the aliens needed to complete their machine and refused to cooperate, but the alien leader—the Super-Homo—hypnotized Doug to ensure his complicity.

After hearing Fartin's story, Butz and his associates aren't sure about Doug's sanity. Later, Sheriff Mussolino of Inbred (who's been turned into a bulging-eyed agent of the aliens) materializes in Fartin's room and tells him that the aliens now need a power source for their machine; Fartin, who is now convinced that helping the aliens is the right thing to do, goes to the nearby power station and orders the technician, at gunpoint, to move certain levers and switches (one of which causes the camera filming this movie to temporarily falter). Butz, Problemo, Priggs, Vagina, and others try to stop Doug, but they're too late; everyone looks out the window and witnesses a huge explosion, the radiation from which changes the sexuality of everyone on Earth, turning straight people gay and gay people—such as Doug Fartin—straight.

Notes

See also

Other redubbed films:

Related Research Articles

<i>Species II</i> 1998 film by Peter Medak

Species II is a 1998 American science fiction horror thriller film directed by Peter Medak. The film is a sequel to Species (1995) and the second installment in the Species series. The film stars Natasha Henstridge, Michael Madsen, and Marg Helgenberger, all of whom reprise their roles from the first film. The plot has Patrick Ross, the astronaut son of a senator, being infected by an extraterrestrial organism during a mission to Mars and causing the deaths of many women upon his return. To stop him, the scientists who created the human-extraterrestrial hybrid Sil in the original Species try using a more docile clone of hers, Eve (Henstridge).

"Cancelled" is the first episode of the seventh season of the American animated television series South Park, and the 97th episode of the series overall. It first aired on Comedy Central on March 19, 2003.

<i>Can of Worms</i> (film) 1999 television film directed by Paul Schneider

Can of Worms is a science fiction comedy film and is part of the Disney Channel Original Movie lineup. It premiered on Disney Channel on April 10, 1999, and is based on the novel of the same name by Kathy Mackel, which was a Young Reader's Choice Nominee in 2002 and a nominee for the 2001 Rhode Island Children's Book Award. It is also the first Disney Channel Original Movie to have TV-PG.

<i>The Man Who Fell to Earth</i> 1976 British science fiction film by Nicolas Roeg

The Man Who Fell to Earth is a 1976 British science fiction film directed by Nicolas Roeg and written by Paul Mayersberg. Based on Walter Tevis's 1963 novel of the same name, the film follows an extraterrestrial who crash lands on Earth seeking a way to ship water to his planet, which is suffering from a severe drought. It stars David Bowie, Candy Clark, Buck Henry, and Rip Torn. It was produced by Michael Deeley and Barry Spikings, who reunited two years later to work on The Deer Hunter. The same novel was later adapted as a television film in 1987.

<i>Farewell to Nostradamus</i> 1995 animated film

Lupin III: Farewell to Nostradamus, sometimes also referred to as To Hell With Nostradamus, is a 1995 Japanese animated film. It is the fourth theatrical feature film in the Lupin III franchise. The North American release was done by FUNimation; it was released individually and later made a part of the "Final Haul" box set.

<i>Battle in Outer Space</i> 1959 film by Ishirō Honda

Battle in Outer Space is a 1959 Japanese science fiction film produced by Toho Studios. Directed by Ishirō Honda and featuring special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya, the film starred Ryō Ikebe, Koreya Senda and Yoshio Tsuchiya.

<i>What Planet Are You From?</i> 2000 film by Mike Nichols

What Planet Are You From? is a 2000 American science fiction comedy film directed by Mike Nichols and written by Michael Leeson, Garry Shandling, Ed Solomon, and Peter Tolan based on a story by Leeson and Shandling. The film stars an ensemble cast featuring Shandling, Annette Bening, Greg Kinnear, Ben Kingsley, Linda Fiorentino, and John Goodman.

Agent J Fictional character in the Men in Black franchise

Agent J is a fictional MIB agent in the film Men in Black, its sequels Men in Black II and Men in Black 3, and Men in Black: The Series. Jay is portrayed by Will Smith in the three films and voiced by Keith Diamond in the animated series.

<i>The War in Space</i> 1977 film by Jun Fukuda

The War in Space, released in Japan as Great Planet War, is a tokusatsu science fiction film produced and released by Toho Studios in 1977.

<i>Killers from Space</i> 1954 film by W. Lee Wilder

Killers from Space is a 1954 independently made American black-and-white science fiction film, produced and directed by W. Lee Wilder, that stars Peter Graves, Barbara Bestar, Frank Gerstle, James Seay, and Steve Pendleton. The film originated as a commissioned screenplay from Wilder's son Myles Wilder and their regular collaborator William Raynor.

<i>Men in White</i> (1998 film) 1998 television film

National Lampoon's Men in White is a straight-to-television satirical parody of contemporary science fiction films, mainly spoofing Men in Black and Independence Day. It debuted in 1998 on the Fox Family Channel.

<i>That Certain Summer</i> 1972 television film directed by Lamont Johnson

That Certain Summer is a 1972 American made-for-television drama film directed by Lamont Johnson. The teleplay by Richard Levinson and William Link was the first to deal sympathetically with homosexuality. Produced by Universal Television, it was broadcast as an ABC Movie of the Week on November 1, 1972, and received a number of television awards and nominations. A novelization of the film written by Burton Wohl was published by Bantam Books.

<i>Showdown</i> (1942 film) 1942 film by Isadore Sparber

Showdown (1942) is the eleventh of seventeen animated Technicolor short films based upon the DC Comics character Superman. Produced by Famous Studios, the cartoon was originally released to theaters by Paramount Pictures on October 16, 1942.

Ultraman Cosmos VS Ultraman Justice: THE FINAL BATTLE is Ultraman Cosmos's 3rd theatrical film adaptation superhero and kaiju film. It was released in Japan on August 2, 2003.

<i>Doraemon: Nobita and the Green Giant Legend</i> 2008 film by Ayumu Watanabe

Doraemon the Movie: Nobita and the Green Giant Legend, also known as Doraemon, Nobita and the Green Planet, is an anime feature film that was released in Japan on 8 March 2008. It's the 28th Doraemon film.

Supernovae in works of fiction often serve as plot devices.

<i>The Day the Earth Stopped</i> 2008 film by C. Thomas Howell

The Day the Earth Stopped is a 2008 American direct-to-DVD science fiction film produced by independent studio The Asylum, directed by and starring C. Thomas Howell. Its title and premise are similar to those of the 2008 remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still but the film's plot also incorporates elements from other science-fiction films involving aliens, such as Transformers, Independence Day and Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. The film is Howell's second Asylum film in which he was attached as director, the first being War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave.

<i>A Different Story</i> 1978 film

A Different Story is a 1978 American film directed by Paul Aaron and starring Meg Foster and Perry King. Set in Los Angeles, it tells the story of a gay man (King) and a lesbian (Foster) who become temporary housemates but end up falling in love with each other.

<i>Escape from Planet Earth</i> 2013 film by Cal Brunker

Escape from Planet Earth is a 2013 Canadian-American 3D computer animated comedy-adventure science fiction film produced by Rainmaker Entertainment and distributed by The Weinstein Company in the United States and Alliance Films in Canada, directed by Cal Brunker, with a screenplay which he co-wrote with Bob Barlen, and features an ensemble voice cast that includes Rob Corddry, Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, William Shatner, Jessica Alba, Jane Lynch, Craig Robinson, George Lopez, Sofía Vergara, Steve Zahn, Chris Parnell, Jonathan Morgan Heit, and Ricky Gervais. The film was released on February 15, 2013. This was the first Rainmaker Entertainment film released in theaters. It was also Jessica Alba's voice debut in an animated feature.

<i>Invisible Invaders</i> 1959 film by Edward L. Cahn

Invisible Invaders is a 1959 science fiction film starring John Agar, Jean Byron, John Carradine and Philip Tonge. It was produced by Robert E. Kent, directed by Edward L. Cahn and written by Samuel Newman.

References

  1. Titler on YouTube
  2. Review at DVD Verdict