Cold feet

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Cold feet is a phrase that refers to a person not going through with an action, particularly one which requires long term commitment, due to fear, uncertainty, and doubt. A person is said to be "getting cold feet" when, after previously committing to a plan, they ultimately do not carry out the planned course of action.

Contents

Definitions (psychological)

Etymology

The origin of the term itself has been largely attributed to American author Stephen Crane, who added the phrase, in 1896, to the second edition of his short novel, Maggie: A Girl of the Streets . [7] [8] Crane writes, "I knew this was the way it would be. They got cold feet." The term is present in "Seed Time and Harvest" by Fritz Reuter published in 1862. [8] [9] [10] Kenneth McKenzie, a former professor of Italian at Princeton University attributed the first use of the phrase to the play Volpone produced by Ben Jonson in 1605. [8] [9] The true origin and first usage of the phrase remains debated and unconfirmed as exemplified above.

Common uses

Marriage

A common use of the phrase is when people fear the commitment of marriage and get "cold feet" before a wedding ceremony. [11] [12] This premarital doubt or fear may manifest for a variety of reasons and sometimes cause the bride or groom to back out of a planned marriage. [12] [13] Original research on the "cold feet" phenomenon is very limited, but a four-year study conducted by UCLA researchers found feelings of premarital doubt or uncertainty about an impending marriage were associated with future marital problems and a viable predictor of divorce. [13] [14]

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Marriage</span> Culturally recognised union between people

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. It is nearly a cultural universal, but the definition of marriage varies between cultures and religions, and over time. Typically, it is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing sexual activity. A marriage ceremony is called a wedding, while a private marriage is sometimes called an elopement.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Spouse</span> Partner in a marriage or similar union

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage. The word 'spouse' can only ever be used when a couple is married legally or by common law. A male spouse is called a husband while a female spouse is called a wife.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Wedding</span> Ceremony where people are united in marriage

A wedding is a ceremony in which two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, denominations, countries, social classes, and sexual orientations. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by a couple; a presentation of a gift ; and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or celebrant. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers, or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony, as well as superstitious customs.

Cohabitation is an arrangement where people who are not married, usually couples, live together. They are often involved in a romantic or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis. Such arrangements have become increasingly common in Western countries since the late 20th century, led by changing social views, especially regarding marriage.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Engagement</span> Promise to wed; period of preparation before marriage

An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself. During this period, a couple is said to be fiancés, 'betrothed', 'intended', 'affianced', 'engaged to be married', or simply 'engaged'. Future brides and grooms may be called fiancée (feminine) or fiancé (masculine), 'the betrothed', a 'wife-to-be' or 'husband-to-be', respectively. The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Hymen (god)</span> Ancient Greek god of marriage ceremonies

In Greek mythology, Hymen, Hymenaios or Hymenaeus, is a god of marriage ceremonies who inspires feasts and song. Related to the god's name, a hymenaios is a genre of Greek lyric poetry that was sung during the procession of the bride to the groom's house in which the god is addressed, in contrast to the Epithalamium, which is sung at the nuptial threshold. He is one of the winged love gods, the Erotes.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Wedding ring</span> Finger ring which indicates that its wearer is married

A wedding ring or wedding band is a finger ring that indicates that its wearer is married. It is usually forged from metal, traditionally gold or another precious metal. Rings were used in ancient Rome during marriage.

A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, is a written contract entered into by a couple before marriage or a civil union that enables them to select and control many of the legal rights they acquire upon marrying, and what happens when their marriage ends by death or divorce. Couples enter into a written prenuptial agreement to supersede many of the default marital laws that would otherwise apply in the event of divorce, such as the laws that govern the division of property, retirement benefits, savings, and the right to seek alimony with agreed-upon terms that provide certainty and clarify their marital rights. A premarital agreement may also contain waivers of a surviving spouse's right to claim an elective share of the estate of the deceased spouse.

A dowry is a payment, such as land property, monetary, cattle or any commercial asset that is paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Premarital sex</span> Sexual activity before marriage

Premarital sex is sex before marriage. Premarital sex is sex between two people who are not married to each other. Premarital sex is considered a sin by a number of religions and also considered a moral issue which is taboo in many cultures. Since the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, it has become accepted by certain liberal movements, especially in Western countries. A 2014 Pew study on global morality found that premarital sex was considered particularly unacceptable in "Muslim Majority Countries", such as Malaysia, Jordan and Pakistan, each having over 90% disapproval, while people in Western European countries were the most accepting, with Spain, Germany, and France expressing less than 10% disapproval.

A shotgun wedding is a wedding arranged in response to pregnancy resulting from premarital sex. The phrase comes from the figurative imagining that the relatives of the pregnant bride threaten the reluctant male groom with a shotgun in order to ensure that he marries the woman.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Mahr</span> Islamic marriage gift from groom to bride

In Islam, a mahr is the bride wealth obligation, in the form of money, possessions or teaching of verses from the Quran by the groom, to the bride in connection with an Islamic wedding. While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Quaker wedding</span> Marriage ceremony of the Religious Society of Friends

Quaker weddings are the traditional ceremony of marriage within the Religious Society of Friends. Quaker weddings are conducted in a similar fashion to regular Quaker meetings for worship, primarily in silence and without an officiant or a rigid program of events, and therefore differ greatly from traditional Western weddings. In some respects a Quaker marriage resembles a common-law marriage.

The runaway bride case concerns Jennifer Carol Wilbanks, an American woman who ran away from her home in Duluth, Georgia on April 26, 2005, to avoid her wedding with John Mason, her fiancé, on April 30. Her disappearance sparked a nationwide search and intensive media coverage, including media speculation that Mason had killed her. On April 29, Wilbanks called Mason from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and falsely claimed that she had been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic man and a white woman.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Bride kidnapping</span> Practice in which someone abducts the person they wish to marry

Bride kidnapping, also known as marriage by abduction or marriage by capture, is a practice in which a man abducts the woman he wishes to marry.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Weddings in India</span>

Weddings in India are festive occasions and usually celebrated with extensive decorations, color, music, dance, outfits and rituals that depend on the community, region and religion of the bride and the groom, as well as their preferences. India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, of which about 80% are Hindu weddings. Approximately 90% of marriages in India are still arranged. Despite the rising popularity of love marriages, especially among younger generations, arranged marriages continue to be the predominant method for finding a marriage partner in India.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Islamic marital practices</span> Marriage rituals for Muslims

Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding ceremonies and marriage rituals prevailing within the Muslim world. Although Islamic marriage customs and relations vary depending on country of origin and government regulations, both Muslim men and women from around the world are guided by Islamic laws and practices specified in the Quran. Islamic marital jurisprudence allows Muslim men to be married to multiple women.

Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures, a professional matchmaker may be used to find a spouse for a young person.

The economics of marriage includes the economic analysis of household formation and break up, of production and distribution decisions within the household. It is closely related to the law and economics of marriages and households. Grossbard-Shechtman identifies three approaches to the subject: the Marxist approach, the neo-classical approach and the game theoretic approaches. Marital status has a positive influence on economic status. There is a marriage prime for males that the wage of married males is 15% higher than the wage of never married male. The Uniform Marital Property Act issued clause on the distribution of marital property and individual property. The Uniform Premarital Agreements Act offers clauses to guide two spouses to make an agreement on distribution of rights and obligations before marriage.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fornication</span> Non-marital sexual intercourse

Fornication is generally consensual sexual intercourse between two people not married to each other. When one or more of the partners having consensual sexual intercourse is married to another person, it is called adultery. John Calvin viewed adultery to be any sexual act that is outside the divine model for sexual intercourse, which includes fornication.

References

  1. "Cold feet - Definition". Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Archived from the original on 27 January 2013. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  2. "Cold feet". Dictionary.com. Archived from the original on 12 November 2012. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  3. "Cold feet definition". The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company. Archived from the original on 12 November 2012. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  4. Spears, Richard. "cold feet". Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions. McGraw Hill. Archived from the original on 12 November 2012. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  5. "Cold feet". Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd.
  6. "Cold feet" . Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  7. Barnhart, David K. (1997). America in So Many Words: Words That Have Shaped America. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. p. 191. ISBN   0547563299.
  8. 1 2 3 Engber, Daniel. "When Did We Get "Cold Feet"? The Germans had 'em first!". Archived from the original on 15 November 2012. Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  9. 1 2 Zoulas, Peter. "Take Our Word For It, Issue 77". Archived from the original on 2 September 2012. Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  10. Reuter, Fritz. "Seed-time and Harvest" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  11. Tony Mathews (2003), There's More Than One Color in the Pew, ISBN   9781573124157
  12. 1 2 Hutson, Matthew. "Brides and Grooms: Cold Feet" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  13. 1 2 "Bride's "Cold feet" May Predict Divorce". Archived from the original on 18 December 2012. Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  14. Lavner, Justin; Benjamin Karney; Thomas Bradbury (2012). "Do Cold Feet Warn of Trouble Ahead? Premarital Uncertainty and Four-Year Marital Outcomes". Journal of Family Psychology. 26 (6): 1012–1017. doi:10.1037/a0029912. PMC   3525794 . PMID   22946462.