Cold feet

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Cold feet is a phrase that refers to a person not going through with an action, particularly one which requires long term commitment, due to fear, uncertainty, and doubt. A person is said to be "getting cold feet" when, after previously committing to a plan, they ultimately do not carry out the planned course of action.

Contents

Definitions (psychological)

Etymology

The origin of the term itself has been largely attributed to American author Stephen Crane, who added the phrase, in 1896, to the second edition of his short novel, Maggie: A Girl of the Streets . [7] [8] Crane writes, "I knew this was the way it would be. They got cold feet." The term is present in "Seed Time and Harvest" by Fritz Reuter published in 1862. [8] [9] [10] Kenneth McKenzie, a former professor of Italian at Princeton University attributed the first use of the phrase to the play Volpone produced by Ben Jonson in 1605. [8] [9] The true origin and first usage of the phrase remains debated and unconfirmed as exemplified above.

Common uses

Marriage

A common use of the phrase is when people fear the commitment of marriage and get "cold feet" before a wedding ceremony. [11] [12] This premarital doubt or fear may manifest for a variety of reasons and sometimes cause the bride or groom to back out of a planned marriage. [12] [13] Original research on the "cold feet" phenomenon is very limited, but a four-year study conducted by UCLA researchers found feelings of premarital doubt or uncertainty about an impending marriage were associated with future marital problems and a viable predictor of divorce. [13] [14]

Related Research Articles

Spouse Partner in a marriage or similar union

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage. Although a spouse is a form of significant other, the latter term also includes non-marital partners who play a social role similar to that of a spouse, but do not have rights and duties reserved by law to a spouse. This is an incomplete translation from French époux / épouse. In most cases spouses share the same children.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Wedding</span> Ceremony where people are united in marriage

A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by a couple, presentation of a gift, and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or celebrant. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers, or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony, as well as superstitious customs.

Cohabitation is an arrangement where people who are not married, usually couples, live together. They are often involved in a romantic or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis. Such arrangements have become increasingly common in Western countries since the late 20th century, being led by changing social views, especially regarding marriage, gender roles and religion.

Engagement Promise to wed; period of preparation before marriage

An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between a marriage proposal and the marriage itself. During this period, a couple is said to be fiancés, betrothed,intended, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Future brides and grooms may be called fiancée (feminine) or fiancé (masculine), the betrothed, a wife-to-be or husband-to-be, respectively. The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Wedding ring</span> Finger ring which indicates that its wearer is married

A wedding ring or wedding band is a finger ring that indicates that its wearer is married. It is usually forged from metal, and traditionally is forged of gold or another precious metal.

A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, is a written contract entered into by a couple prior to marriage or a civil union that enables them to select and control many of the legal rights they acquire upon marrying, and what happens when their marriage eventually ends by death or divorce. Couples enter into a written prenuptial agreement to supersede many of the default marital laws that would otherwise apply in the event of divorce, such as the laws that govern the division of property, retirement benefits, savings, and the right to seek alimony with agreed-upon terms that provide certainty and clarify their marital rights. A premarital agreement may also contain waivers of a surviving spouse's right to claim an elective share of the estate of the deceased spouse.

A dowry is a payment, such as property or money, paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. Dowry contrasts with the related concepts of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment by the groom, or his family, to the bride, or her family, dowry is the wealth transferred from the bride, or her family, to the groom, or his family. Similarly, dower is the property settled on the bride herself, by the groom at the time of marriage, and which remains under her ownership and control.

Premarital sex is sexual activity which is practiced by people before they are married. Premarital sex is considered a moral issue which is taboo in many cultures and it is also considered a sin by a number of religions. Since the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, it has become accepted by certain liberal movements, especially in Western countries. A 2014 Pew study on global morality found that premarital sex was considered particularly unacceptable in "Muslim Majority Countries", such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Jordan, Pakistan, and Egypt, each having over 90% disapproval, while people in Western European countries were the most accepting, with Spain, Germany, and France expressing less than 10% disapproval.

A shotgun wedding is a wedding which is arranged in order to avoid embarrassment due to premarital sex which can possibly lead to an unintended pregnancy. The phrase is a primarily American colloquialism, termed as such based on a stereotypical scenario in which the father of the pregnant bride-to-be threatens the reluctant groom with a shotgun in order to ensure that he follows through with the wedding.

Mahr Islamic marriage gift from groom to bride

In Islam, a mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage. While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Marriage in Islam</span> Legal contract between a man and woman

In Islam, nikah is a contract between two people. Both the groom and the bride are to consent to the marriage of their own free wills. A formal, binding contract – verbal or on paper – is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. Divorce in Islam can take a variety of forms, some executed by a husband personally and some executed by a religious court on behalf of a plaintiff wife who is successful in her legal divorce petition for valid cause.

The runaway bride case concerns Jennifer Carol Wilbanks, an American woman who ran away from home on April 26, 2005, to avoid her wedding with John Mason, her fiancé, on April 30. Her disappearance from Duluth, Georgia, sparked a nationwide search and intensive media coverage, including media speculation that Mason had killed her. On April 29, Wilbanks called Mason from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and falsely claimed that she had been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic man and a white woman.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Bride kidnapping</span> Practice in which a person abducts the person they wish to marry

Bride kidnapping, also known as marriage by abduction or marriage by capture, is a practice in which a man abducts the woman he wishes to marry.

Lena ("Lee") Levine was an American psychiatrist and gynecologist. She was a pioneering figure in the development of both marriage counseling and birth control. She was a close colleague of Margaret Sanger. At the time of her death she was director of the Margaret Sanger Research Bureau of New York and consulting gynecologist at the hygiene clinic of Brooklyn Jewish Hospital.

Marriage in Pakistan Tradition in Pakistan

Marriage in Pakistan pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women. Despite their local and regional variations, marriages in Pakistan generally follow Islamic marital jurisprudence. Culturally, marriages are not only seen as a union between a husband and a wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. These traditions extend to other countries around in the world where Overseas Pakistani communities exist.

Islamic marital practices Marriage rituals for Muslims

Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding ceremonies and marriage rituals prevailing within the Muslim world. Although Islamic marriage customs and relations vary depending on country of origin and government regulations, both Muslim men and women from around the world are guided by Islamic laws and practices specified in the Quran.

Wedding cord

The traditional wedding cord, also known as the wedding lasso, is a piece of wedding paraphernalia used in some Christian Catholic wedding ceremonies. This is actually a representation of a loop of rosary beads made out of white satin or silk. During the wedding proper, this is traditionally formed into a figure-of-eight shape, and then placed around the neck areas of the bride and the groom after they have made their wedding vows, and are already kneeling on pillows for the pronouncement of a wedding prayer. This cord symbolizes lifetime unity or the everlasting union of the bride and groom when they officially become husband and wife, as well as a symbol of marital protection; while the loops formed signifies their love for one another. After the wedding, this marital twine is typically kept by the bride as a wedding souvenir. Use of the traditional wedding cord for weddings is common in Hispanic countries such as Mexico, the Philippines, and Spain.

Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be used to find a spouse for a young person.

Thadou people are an indigenous ethnic group of Chin-Kuki inhabiting North-east India. Thadou is a dialect of the Tibeto-Burman family. They are the second largest in terms of population in Manipur, next to Meetei according to Manipur census 2011..Thadou population have been reported only in India, some small population have settled in Assam, Tripura, Meghalaya, Mizoram and Delhi. Thadous share a common culture with all the Chin-Kuki-Mizo community.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Fornication</span> Consensual sexual intercourse while not married

Fornication is generally consensual sexual intercourse between two people not married to each other. When one or more of the partners having consensual sexual intercourse is married to another person, it is called adultery. Nonetheless, John Calvin viewed adultery to be any sexual act that is outside the divine model for sexual intercourse, which includes fornication.

References

  1. "Cold feet - Definition". Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  2. "Cold feet". Dictionary.com. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  3. "Cold feet definition". The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  4. Spears, Richard. "cold feet". Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions. McGraw Hill. Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  5. "Cold feet". Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd.
  6. "Cold feet" . Retrieved 22 December 2012.
  7. Barnhart, David K. (1997). America in So Many Words: Words That Have Shaped America. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. p. 191. ISBN   0547563299.
  8. 1 2 3 Engber, Daniel. "When Did We Get "Cold Feet"? The Germans had 'em first!" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  9. 1 2 Zoulas, Peter. "Take Our Word For It, Issue 77" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  10. Reuter, Fritz. "Seed-time and Harvest" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  11. Tony Mathews (2003), There's More Than One Color in the Pew, ISBN   9781573124157
  12. 1 2 Hutson, Matthew. "Brides and Grooms: Cold Feet" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  13. 1 2 "Bride's "Cold feet" May Predict Divorce" . Retrieved 24 December 2012.
  14. Lavner, Justin; Benjamin Karney; Thomas Bradbury (2012). "Do Cold Feet Warn of Trouble Ahead? Premarital Uncertainty and Four-Year Marital Outcomes". Journal of Family Psychology. 26 (6): 1012–1017. doi:10.1037/a0029912. PMC   3525794 . PMID   22946462.