Gotcha Day

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"Gotcha Day" is a term for the anniversary of the day on which a person or a pet joins a family by adoption. [1] It is also called "Homecoming Day", "Family Day", or "Adoption Day", although the date may be different from date on which the legal adoption becomes final. [2] [3] [4] Gotcha Day is often associated with annual rituals or celebrations, much like a birthday. [3] [5] The tradition, and especially the word gotcha, is considered offensive by some adoptees. [1] [6] [7]

Contents

History

The 2001 book, Primary Care Pediatrics, noted that adoptive family are rarely present for the child's birth and recommended a celebration "additional to the [birthday celebration, that is, the 'gotcha day'." [8] Margaret Schwartz, in her book The Pumpkin Patch, declared September 15, 2005 as International Gotcha Day. [3] [9] [10] [11] Schwartz used the term in reference to her international adoptions where the legal adoption occurred separately to the children physically joining the family. Spectrum Press subsequently endorsed and publicized the movement. [5]

Rituals

Gotcha Day can include cakes and presents like those of a birthday to broader celebration as a means of raising community awareness to normalize adoption. [11] "Gotcha Day" greeting cards are widely available and personalized "Gotcha Day" souvenirs have become a cottage industry. [12] Re-telling the story of the child's arrival, as part of the family legend, is often highlighted. If the child was adopted from another culture, traditional food and music may be incorporated. [13]

Some celebrate with a "happy Gotcha Day" cake or give a small present, like a keepsake for their adopted daughter's charm bracelet. Others go out for a nice dinner, invite friends for an "adoption day" barbecue, or take a special family photo. [7]

Controversy

The arguments for celebrating, especially with international adoptions, include that it is a "firm date in history" whereas exact birthdays and early milestones may be less sure. [7] It also marks the day a family came physically together, separate from the legalities. According to an adoptive parent Amy Ames in a post on Adoptive Families, "'We gotcha' is a phrase that acknowledges when another way of life began. Simply saying 'Adoption Day' does not differentiate between our children's placement and finalization dates, so 'Gotcha Day' is a less confusing name for us." [6]

Arguments against include the opinion that it puts the focus on the adult's experience of events and demeans that of the adoptee. [7] "'Gotcha' for parents means 'lost-ya' for children who have been separated from familiar faces, smells, surroundings." [5] [14] Adoption occurs after loss and abandonment and marking the day of transition can heighten those feelings. [1] Other arguments focus on the word 'gotcha', which can have a 'gloating' tone. [14] Author Karen Moline, a progenitor of the argument against the term, wrote "What does this term imply? We use it when we grab someone who is running from us, or when we save someone from something, or when we're playing a game." [10]

Author and adoptive parent of color Morénike Giwa Onaiwu has emphasized that much of the "controversy" surrounding negative connotations of the term erases the perspectives and experiences of communities of color (adoptees of color and adoptive parents of color) and notes that the alternative phrases are equally problematic. [15]

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Adoption</span> Parenting a child in place of the original parents

Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting of another, usually a child, from that person's biological or legal parent or parents. Legal adoptions permanently transfer all rights and responsibilities, along with filiation, from the biological parents to the adoptive parents.

The international adoption of South Korean children was at first started as a result of a large number of orphaned mixed children from the Korean War after 1953, but later included orphaned Korean children. Religious organizations in the United States, Australia, and many Western European nations slowly developed into the apparatus that sustained international adoption as a socially integrated system. This system, however, is essentially gone as of 2020. The number of children given for adoption is lower than in comparable OECD countries of a similar size, the majority of adoptees are adopted by South Korean families, and the number of international adoptees is at a historical low.

Adopted child syndrome is a term that has been used to explain behaviors in adopted children that are claimed to be related to their adoptive status. Specifically, these include problems in bonding, attachment disorders, lying, stealing, defiance of authority, and acts of violence. The term has never achieved acceptance in the professional community. The term is not found in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th edition, TR.

International adoption is a type of adoption in which an individual or couple residing in one country becomes the legal and permanent parent(s) of a child who is a national of another country. In general, prospective adoptive parents must meet the legal adoption requirements of their country of residence and those of the country whose nationality the child holds.

Closed adoption is a process by which an infant is adopted by another family, and the record of the biological parent(s) is kept sealed. Often, the biological father is not recorded—even on the original birth certificate. An adoption of an older child who already knows their biological parent(s) cannot be made closed or secret. This used to be the most traditional and popular type of adoption, peaking in the decades of the post-World War II Baby Scoop Era. It still exists today, but it exists alongside the practice of open adoption. The sealed records effectively prevent the adoptee and the biological parents from finding, or even knowing anything about each other. However, the emergence of non-profit organizations and private companies to assist individuals with their sealed records has been effective in helping people who want to connect with biological relatives to do so.

Disruption is ending an adoption. While technically an adoption is disrupted only when it is abandoned by the adopting parent or parents before it is legally completed, in practice the term is used for all adoptions that are ended. It is usually initiated by the parents via a court petition, much like a divorce, to which it is analogous.

The Minnesota Transracial Adoption Study examined the IQ test scores of 130 black or interracial children adopted by advantaged white families. The aim of the study was to determine the contribution of environmental and genetic factors to the poor performance of black children on IQ tests as compared to white children. The initial study was published in 1976 by Sandra Scarr and Richard A. Weinberg. A follow-up study was published in 1992 by Richard Weinberg, Sandra Scarr and Irwin D. Waldman. Another related study investigating social adjustment in a subsample of the adopted black children was published in 1996. The 1992 follow-up study found that "social environment maintains a dominant role in determining the average IQ level of black and interracial children and that both social and genetic variables contribute to individual variations among them."

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In the United States, adoption is the process of creating a legal parent–child relationship between a child and a parent who was not automatically recognized as the child's parent at birth.

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Interracial adoption refers to the act of placing a child of one racial or ethnic group with adoptive parents of another racial or ethnic group.

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Child laundering is a tactic used in illegal or fraudulent international adoptions. It may involve child trafficking and child acquisition through payment, deceit or force. The children may then be held in sham orphanages while formal adoption processes are used to send them to adoptive parents in another country.

The language of adoption is changing and evolving, and since the 1970s has been a controversial issue tied closely to adoption reform efforts. The controversy arises over the use of terms which, while designed to be more appealing or less offensive to some persons affected by adoption, may simultaneously cause offense or insult to others. This controversy illustrates the problems in adoption, as well as the fact that coining new words and phrases to describe ancient social practices will not necessarily alter the feelings and experiences of those affected by them. Two of the contrasting sets of terms are commonly referred to as positive adoption language (PAL), and honest adoption language (HAL).

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Adoption in the Philippines</span>

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A transracial person is one who identifies as a different race than the one associated with their biological ancestry. They may adjust their appearance to make themselves look more like that race, and may participate in activities associated with that race. Use of the word transracial to describe this is new and has been criticized, because the word was historically used to describe a person raised by adoptive parents of a different ethnic or racial background, such as a Black child adopted and raised by a White couple.

Morénike Giwa Onaiwu is an American educator, author, and autism and HIV advocate. Alongside E. Ashkenazy and Lydia Brown, Onaiwu is an editor of All the Weight of Our Dreams, an anthology of art and writing entirely by autistic people of color published by the Autism Women's Network in June 2017.

References

  1. 1 2 3 Milbrand, Lisa (November 19, 2013). "National Adoption Month: Should You Celebrate Gotcha Day?". Parents. Archived from the original on 30 November 2013. Retrieved November 17, 2018.
  2. Roth, Jeffrey (April 2, 2013). "Some Families Celebrate 'Gotcha Day'". Carroll Magazine. Archived from the original on December 9, 2014. Retrieved August 7, 2014.
  3. 1 2 3 Crooks, Lauren (September 12, 2005). "Celebrating Love". The Spokesman-Review. Spokane, Washington. Retrieved August 7, 2014.
  4. Slade, Suzanne; Papile, Christopher (2007). Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide . Lanham, Maryland: Scarecrow Press. p.  4. ISBN   978-0810857742.
  5. 1 2 3 Seligmann, Linda J. (2013). Broken Links, Enduring Ties: American Adoption Across Race, Class, and Nation. Stanford, California: Stanford Univ. Press. p. 249. ISBN   978-0804786058.
  6. 1 2 Moline, Karen. "The Great 'Gotcha' Day Debate". Adoptive Families. Archived from the original on August 10, 2014. Retrieved November 17, 2018.
  7. 1 2 3 4 Urist, Jacoba (November 7, 2013). "'Gotcha Day' Celebrations Spark Debate Among Families Who Adopt". Today. NBC Universal. Retrieved November 17, 2018.
  8. al.], Carol Green-Hernandez, Joanne K. Singleton, Daniel Z. Aronzon ; contributors, Harvey W. Aiges ... et (2001). Primary care pediatrics. Philadelphia: Lippincott. p. 73. ISBN   0781720087 . Retrieved 7 August 2014.{{cite book}}: |first1= has generic name (help)CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
  9. Schwartz, Margaret L. (2005). The pumpkin patch : a single woman's international adoption journey. Louisville, KY: Chicago Spectrum Press. ISBN   1583741186.
  10. 1 2 Moline, Karen (2014). "Get Rid of "Gotcha"". Adoptive Families Magazine. Archived from the original on 10 August 2014. Retrieved 7 August 2014.
  11. 1 2 Turner, Lynn (2006). Family Rituals. Sage. ISBN   978-1-4129-0992-1 . Retrieved 2009-03-23.{{cite book}}: |work= ignored (help)
  12. Temple, Sheila (2011). Gotcha day : a celebration of adoption. Bloomington, Ind.: CrossBooks. ISBN   978-1615078257.
  13. Biziou, Barbara (November 1, 2010). The Joy of Family Rituals: Recipes for Everyday Living. Cosimo Books. p. 196. ISBN   978-1616404673.
  14. 1 2 Brian, Kristi (2012). Reframing Transracial Adoption. ; Adopted Koreans, White Parents, and the Politics of Kinship. Philadelphia, Pa.: Temple University Press. p. 151. ISBN   978-1439901847.
  15. "Regarding Gotcha Day as a term: when white ain't necessarily right". Morénike Giwa Onaiwu. 28 December 2014. Retrieved 22 February 2021.