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Table manners are the cultural customs and rules of etiquette used while dining. As in other areas of North American etiquette, the rules governing appropriate table manners have changed over time and differ depending on the setting.
Table manners have an ancient and complex history, as each society has gradually evolved its system. [1] Today, many of the behaviors that take place at the dinner table are deeply rooted in history. [2] Much of the invention of modern manners was done during the Renaissance in Italy. [3]
Today, many families eat fast food without silverware and eat meals in front of the television or in the car rather than following past norms of gathering the family at the dining table for a meal. Critics claim that these changes have led to fewer opportunities to learn table manners in the home. [4] [5] Additionally, advancement of technology in recent years raises issues regarding smartphone use at the dining table. Opinions vary regarding whether the use of smartphones at the dining table is acceptable. [6] [7]
In most places, it is inappropriate for someone to make disapproving or disrespectful opinion when presented with food. Likewise, blowing one's nose at the table is impertinent. [8]
As business dealings can take place over a meal, table manners can be helpful while dining with clientele, co-workers, or subordinates – building rapport with a client, celebrating the accomplishments of a team, or simply hosting a discussion in a non-office setting all call for proper etiquette if dining is involved. It is deemed an essential enough behavioral skill that has suffered from a decline in naturally occurring generational inheritance [9] to the effect that some schools have opened programs and classes centered around dining etiquette to educate students in the practice. [10] Inappropriate table manners can affect the opinion of those involved, as well as the outcome of the meeting. [11]
Many appropriate mannerisms from formal dining situations can be applied in a business setting, though variations exist depending on who is the host and who is the guest, and the relation the one has with the other. Speaking while still chewing or mid-bite may be acceptable in an informal lunch setting with often-seen coworkers, but in a high-stakes meeting with a potential customer, it will likely to be viewed as impolite. Napkins are intended to be kept in the lap. The exception is when leaving the table temporarily – placed on the chair signals the staff that the diner's meal is unfinished, placed on the table near the plate shows the patron has completed their meal. [11]
Unless the host offers to pay the inevitable bill, it should be assumed that each diner is responsible for their own bill, and the staff (and table) should be made aware of this at the appropriate time. [12] If one is not paying for their own meal, it is impolite to order expensive menu items - especially food more expensive than that of the paying person.
The dress code for a business related dining event can vary, usually around when the event takes place. The lunch period will likely find participants wearing what they wore to work, though special events may require a more scene-suitable dress. It is important to understand and attempt to match the formality of the event [12] – this type of table manners begin prior to sitting down at the table.
The level of formality can vary depending on the formality of the restaurant. [1]
Many restaurants set the table with a bread plate and water glass at each seat before patrons arrive. The bread plate goes to the left of the plate, and the beverage to the right. [13]
One element of manners that has been the subject of debate is whether to use cell phones. According to a study done by the Pew Research Center, 38% percent of people think it is acceptable to use cell phones in restaurants, and that number gets even smaller depending on the occasion. [14] 12% of people think it is OK to use cell phones at family dinners, and only 5% think it is appropriate during meetings. [14]
When it comes to paying the bill in American restaurants, adding a tip is a common custom that is often expected by the waiter. According to a study by CreditCards.com, 4 out of 5 Americans always leave a tip when dining out, and the average tip is 16%–20% of the total bill. [15]
Dinner usually refers to what is in many Western cultures the biggest and most formal meal of the day. Historically, the largest meal used to be eaten around midday, and called dinner. Especially among the elite, it gradually migrated to later in the day over the 16th to 19th centuries. The word has different meanings depending on culture, and may mean a meal of any size eaten at any time of day. In particular, it is still sometimes used for a meal at noon or in the early afternoon on special occasions, such as a Christmas dinner. In hot climates, the main meal is more likely to be eaten in the evening, after the temperature has fallen.
Waiting staff (BrE), waiters / waitresses, or servers (AmE) are those who work at a restaurant, a diner, or a bar and sometimes in private homes, attending to customers by supplying them with food and drink as requested. Waiting staff follow rules and guidelines determined by the manager. Waiting staff carry out many different tasks, such as taking orders, food-running, polishing dishes and silverware, helping bus tables, entertaining patrons, restocking working stations with needed supplies, and handing out the bill.
A buffet can be either a sideboard or a system of serving meals in which food is placed in a public area where the diners serve themselves. A form of service à la française, buffets are offered at various places including hotels, restaurants, and many social events. Buffet restaurants normally offer all-you-can-eat food for a set price, but some measure prices by weight or by number of dishes. Buffets usually have some or mostly hot dishes, so the term cold buffet has been developed to describe formats lacking hot food. Hot or cold buffets usually involve dishware and utensils, but a finger buffet is an array of foods that are designed to be small and easily consumed only by hand, such as cupcakes, slices of pizza, foods on cocktail sticks, etc.
Various customary etiquette practices exist regarding the placement and use of eating utensils in social settings. These practices vary from culture to culture. Fork etiquette, for example, differs in Europe, the United States, and Southeast Asia, and continues to change. In East Asian cultures, a variety of etiquette practices govern the use of chopsticks.
Tableware items are the dishware and utensils used for setting a table, serving food, and dining. The term includes cutlery, glassware, serving dishes, serving utensils, and other items used for practical as well as decorative purposes. The quality, nature, variety and number of objects varies according to culture, religion, number of diners, cuisine and occasion. For example, Middle Eastern, Indian or Polynesian food culture and cuisine sometimes limits tableware to serving dishes, using bread or leaves as individual plates, and not infrequently without use of cutlery. Special occasions are usually reflected in higher quality tableware.
Etiquette in Japan forms common societal expectations of social behavior practiced throughout the nation of Japan. The etiquette of Japan has changed greatly over the millennia as different civilizations influenced its culture. Modern Japanese etiquette has a strong influence from that of China and the Western world, but retains many of its unique traditional elements.
A full-course dinner is a meal with multiple courses, almost invariably eaten in the evening or afternoon. Most Western-world multicourse meals follow a standard sequence, influenced by traditional French haute cuisine. It commonly begins with an appetizer, followed by the main course, the salad course, and eventually the dessert, but the exact sequence varies widely. Full-course dinners are generally very formal as well as very expensive, and can have as few as 3 or as many as 21 courses. Some major styles include service à la russe and service à la française.
The etiquette of Indian dining and socializing varies with the region in India.
Table manners are the rules of etiquette used while eating, which may also include the use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners. Each family or group sets its own standards for how strictly these rules are to be followed.
Dining in is a formal military ceremony for members of a company or other unit, which includes a dinner, drinking, and other events to foster camaraderie and esprit de corps.
Rudeness is a display of actual or perceived disrespect by not complying with the social norms or etiquette expected within a relationship, social group, or culture. Social norms are established as the essential guidelines of normally accepted behavior within a given context, and individuals often establish personal boundaries to meet their own needs and desires within smaller settings, such as friendships. To be unwilling to align one's behavior with these norms known to the general population of what is socially acceptable is to be rude. These norms may resemble a sort of "unspoken law", with social repercussions or rewards for violators or advocates, respectively.
Etiquette in Asia varies from country to country even though certain actions may seem to be common. No article on the rules of etiquette, nor any list of faux pas, can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential. A lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of Asian people can make even those with good intentions seem rude, foolish, and disrespectful.
Etiquette in Europe is not uniform. Even within the regions of Europe, etiquette may not be uniform: within a single country there may be differences in customs, especially where there are different linguistic groups, as in Switzerland where there are French, German and Italian speakers.
Expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of people in Australia and New Zealand can make even the best intentioned person seem ignorant, inconsiderate or even rude. Given the historic roots, it's very similar to British culture, specifically the United Kingdom, terms such as ‘fanny’ as well as the emphasis on politeness in queuing are observed in both cultures.
Etiquette in Latin America varies by country and by region within a given country.
Chopsticks are shaped pairs of equal-length sticks that have been used as kitchen and eating utensils in most of East Asia for over three millennia. They are held in the dominant hand, secured by fingers, and wielded as extensions of the hand, to pick up food.
Customs and etiquette in Chinese dining are the traditional behaviors observed while eating in Greater China. Traditional Han customs have spread throughout East Asia to varying degrees, with some regions sharing a few aspects of formal dining, which has ranged from guest seating to paying the bill.
Various codes of etiquette in Indonesia govern the expectations of social behavior in the country and are considered very important. Etiquette demonstrates respect and is a key factor in social interactions. Like many social cultures, etiquette varies greatly depending on one's status relative to the person in question. Some conventions may be region-specific, and thus may not exist in all regions of Indonesia. The following are generally accepted contemporary customs in Indonesia.
In South Korea, etiquette, or the code of social behavior that governs human interactions, is largely derived from Korean Confucianism and focuses on the core values of this religion. In addition to general behaviour, etiquette in South Korea also determines how to behave with responsibility and social status. Although most aspects of etiquette are accepted by the country at large, customs can be localized to specific regions or influenced by other cultures, namely China, Japan, and the United States.
Japanese dining etiquette is a set of traditional perceptions governing specific expectations which outlines general standards of how one should behave and respond in various dining situations.