The Bastard King of England

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"The Bastard King of England" is a bawdy English folk song commonly falsely attributed to Rudyard Kipling, or less commonly Lord Tennyson, Charles Dickens, Walt Whitman, or Charles Whistler. The earliest known appearance of the song was in 1927. The song depicts various sexual escapades involving the title character, an unnamed Queen of Spain, a French king named Phillip, and the "Duke of Zippity-Zap" who gives the King a case of the clap. The song has a number of historical inaccuracies, since the last French king to bear the name Phillip died in the 14th century, but Spain would not become a united kingdom until the 15th, while the last King of England to be illegitimate was William I (reigned 1066-1087), although it was alleged during the reign of Edward IV (1461-1483) that Edward was illegitimate. Also, it would be quite impossible to drag anyone from France to England behind a horse before the Channel Tunnel was dug.

According to Ed Cray, author of Bawdy Ballads, "As the story goes, Rudyard Kipling wrote 'The Bastard King of England' (pronounced En-ga-land') and that authorship cost him his poet laureate's knighthood. It is too bad that the attribution is apparently spurious; 'The Bastard King' would undoubtedly be Kipling's most popular work" if he had actually written it. [1]

In the first episode of Z: The Beginning of Everything , Zelda Fitzgerald sings a verse from the ballad before diving off a dock. [2]

A very similar song with family-friendly lyrics, called "The Phony King of England", appeared in Disney's 1973 animated film Robin Hood . [3]

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— closing lines of Rudyard Kipling's If—, first published this year in Rewards and Fairies

Fitz was a patronymic indicator used in Anglo-Norman England to help distinguish individuals by identifying their immediate predecessors. Meaning "son of", it would precede the father's forename, or less commonly a title held by the father. In rare cases, it formed part of a matronymic to associate the bearer with a more prominent mother. Convention among modern historians is to represent the word as fitz, but in the original Norman French documentation, it appears as fiz, filz, or similar forms, deriving from the Old French noun filz, fiz, meaning "son of", and ultimately from Latin filius (son). Its use during the period of English surname adoption led to its incorporation into patronymic surnames, and at later periods this form was adopted by English kings for the surnames given some of their recognized illegitimate children, and by Irish families when anglicizing their Gaelic patronymic surnames.

<i>The Fringes of the Fleet</i> 1915 booklet by Rudyard Kipling

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Friar Tuck</span> Character from the Robin Hood folklore

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Shut up</span> Direct command with a meaning similar to "be quiet"

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References

  1. "Bastard King of England, The".
  2. Z: The Beginning of Everything. Internet Movie Database. 2015-2017. Retrieved August 31, 2019. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4878612/
  3. "11 Oo-De-Lally Facts About 'Robin Hood'". 23 November 2015.