Slow parenting

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Slow parenting (also called simplicity parenting) is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace. It is a response to concerted cultivation and the widespread trend for parents to schedule activities and classes after school; to solve problems on behalf of the children, and to buy services from commercial suppliers rather than letting nature take its course.[ citation needed ]

Contents

The philosophy, stemming at least partially from the Slow Movement, makes recommendations in play, toys, access to nature and scheduled activities. The opposing view is that such children are disadvantaged because their parents do not provide as many learning opportunities.[ citation needed ]

Goals

Slow parenting aims for the goal of allowing children to be happy and satisfied with their own achievements, even though this may not make them the wealthiest or most famous. These parents suggest that children of other parents are unable to cope with the unpredictability of the real world, either expecting their helicopter parents to intervene, or complaining about unfairness. They may not even understand who they are themselves until much later in adulthood. [1] [2]

Play

Play is a natural part of childhood, which allows young people to explore and discover at their own pace. Children invest 15% of their energy in playing [3] : 54  demonstrating their natural inclination and the evolutionary benefit. Children have a natural skill for playing and exploring in a way that is appropriate. Other mammals also play in developing their own skills in a realistic but less dangerous environment. However, formal learning is more beneficial from the age of six. [3] : 64  Toys, technology and an adult-imposed educational curriculum are not required, according to the philosophy.

Television

In general, slow parenting does not advocate watching television. Television is not interactive; a person can watch it with little thinking and no action. It can occupy an enormous amount of time, and some programs are even inappropriate for children. At the same time, it is often created by commercial interests with minimal investment in the program content and a maximum of advertising. The social aspects of television are widely discussed and often considered to be negative. Introducing children to television (including families watching it together) is a recommendation to continue this lifestyle, and a discouragement to any other play or activity. [4]

It is believed that television advertisements often encourage people further into consumerism by promoting expensive objects which are often unnecessary and ultimately unsatisfying (a satisfied customer may not need to make further purchases). The presentation of these to people who are tired or not concentrating is a further risk to their behavioural development.[ citation needed ]

However, it is recognised that television is a convenient baby-sitter, and that some programs are enjoyable (The Idle Parent contains a list of the author's favourites [2] ). Choices might include watching only ten-year-old pre-recorded video tapes, or watching broadcast television with children and giving a real-time commentary on the content and its message.

Safety

Everyday life does contain risk. Slow parenting advocates[ who? ] would argue that in order to develop a healthy understanding of that, children must be allowed to face risks. [5]

Because many parents have themselves been raised in a risk-averse way, Slow Parenting advocates[ who? ] would maintain that they are often unable to judge which risks are significant. For example, stranger danger, a cornerstone of child "safety", has been criticized for allegedly assuming that all strangers are dangerous, and by negative inference that all familiar people are safe.[ citation needed ]

An open letter by more than one hundred leading pediatricians, academics, and authors, published in The Daily Telegraph , highlighted how a fast-paced and consumerist lifestyle has emphasized the fear of physical harm and the subsequent emotional and social damage to children. [6] The newspaper then invited responses from the public and received nearly 120 pro-slow parenting responses within days. These highlighted frequent assessment, political interference, junk food, television, compulsory schooling, distrust of teachers, and many other areas.[ citation needed ] Some suggested Forest schools and other adventure activities, while many proposed less political interference with schools.

Family

Spending time with children is always recommended for parents. The book The Price of Privilege finds that eating dinner together as a family is an indicator of good psychological health. [1] Tom Hodgkinson's ideal scenario is to be near his children, although not too near. [2]

Synonyms and variations

The idea of slow parenting has been repeated by many authors and commentators, many of whom have attached their own names. A few are briefly reviewed below:

Slow movement

In his book Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children From the Culture of Hyper-parenting, [3] Carl Honoré describes a measured and caring way of stepping back and letting our children face the world themselves. Parts of UP have been serialised [7] [8] in the Daily Telegraph. The author has previously written about the Slow Movement in his book In Praise of Slowness.

Honoré steps through the stages of adult intervention in childhood, arguing that many adults drive their children towards goals they have chosen but which are often not suitable. The freedom to play is repeatedly endorsed, with Honoré providing examples that he believes shows that interfering in this often makes less effective use of their time, and damages their development. He highlights some particular educational techniques, such as the Reggio Emilia approach and Forest kindergartens, notably the Secret Garden in Scotland, where the mature attitude to risk is contrasted with the health-and-safety mentality that is more generally taken. Within school, testing and homework are singled out for criticism, while after-school activities are thought to take time away from more enjoyable times. Even sports, which are basically enjoyable and healthy, become detrimental when adults impose their focus on winning.

Consumerism, in particular the pester-power of toy advertising is said to push children and adults apart, converting their enthusiasm into a lust for costly and often useless goods.[ citation needed ]

Risk aversion in helicopter parents is said to leave children unable to handle risks.

In her book Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course for Parents, [9] Nataša Pantović describes the negative social aspects of modern technologies that discourage any other play or activity. [10]

Within her Conscious Parenting Book explaining the importance of Free Play Nataša says: "Children learn intuitively, perceiving the subtle inner relationships observing nature. Free creative play is an invaluable gift that children need to start properly relating to the outside world. Exploring, experiencing and imitating the world of grown-us through free play, children are given a chance to unconsciously learn and emotionally mature through their own games. Too much of today’s learning is structured, children are 'directed', 'instructed' and carefully 'followed' at all times, so they do not have a chance to experience learning through unobstructed observation. Children have deep devotion to life and this devotion is beautifully expressed through the free play".. [11] [12] The author has previously published 5 Mindfulness Books within Serial called: AoL Mindfulness Training.

Nataša researches and supports the Finnish educational model where schools testing and homework are discouraged and where competition is not emphasized. [13] In her article 'Create Freedom in the Learning Environment': [14] Nuit says: "Children need to feel our love at all times; our love gives them confidence that they are heard, that they are present, and that they matter. A warm, loving and gentle environment is absorbed unconsciously and it gives children a wonderful start to life".

The idle parent

The Idle Parent [2] by Tom Hodgkinson in 2009 is an alternative to over-parenting. It has also been serialised in a newspaper column in the Daily Telegraph. [15] The central premise is that children can take care of themselves most of the time, and that the parents would be happier if they spent more time taking care of themselves too. Hodgkinson's idle parenting "does not refer to slobbing out or giving up, but rather to letting go, going with the flow, a wise and merry detachment. It is, in Aldous Huxley's phrase, an 'active resignation'." [2] : 46  IP does not have to be costly: Many activities are free, such as lighting a fire; while others are cheap, such as buying 10-year-old video tapes from charity shops.

Alongside the jests about how much children like to work, and so should be returned to Victorian workhouses, are points about letting children try to make their own breakfast (while the parents sleep), or camping in a field instead of going to an "antiseptic children's fun palace". The Idle Parent constantly moderates its zeal, for example in how completely to ban the use of television, against the excess of the Puritans.[ citation needed ]

See also

Related Research Articles

Parenting Process of raising a child

Parenting or child rearing promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively for a biological relationship.

Unschooling Educational method and philosophy; form of homeschooling

Unschooling is an informal learning that advocates learner-chosen activities as a primary means for learning. Unschoolers learn through their natural life experiences including play, household responsibilities, personal interests and curiosity, internships and work experience, travel, books, elective classes, family, mentors, and social interaction. Often considered a lesson- and curriculum-free implementation of homeschooling, unschooling encourages exploration of activities initiated by the children themselves, believing that the more personal learning is, the more meaningful, well-understood and therefore useful it is to the child. While courses may occasionally be taken, unschooling questions the usefulness of standard curricula, fixed times at which learning should take place, conventional grading methods in standardized tests, forced contact with children in their own age group, the compulsion to do homework, regardless of whether it helps the learner in their individual situation, the effectiveness of listening to and obeying the orders of one authority figure for several hours each day, and other features of traditional schooling in the education of each unique child.

The Reggio Emilia approach is an educational philosophy and pedagogy focused on preschool and primary education. This approach is a student-centered and constructivist self-guided curriculum that uses self-directed, experiential learning in relationship-driven environments. The programme is based on the principles of respect, responsibility and community through exploration, discovery and play.

Attention span is the amount of time spent concentrating on a task before becoming distracted. Distractibility occurs when attention is uncontrollably diverted to another activity or sensation. Attention training is said to be part of education, particularly in the way students are trained to remain focused on a topic of observation or discussion for extended periods, developing listening and analytical skills in the process.

Dysfunctional family Type of family

A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly, leading other members to accommodate such actions. Children sometimes grow up in such families with the understanding that such a situation is normal. Dysfunctional families are primarily a result of two adults, one typically overtly abusive and the other codependent, and may also be affected by addictions, or sometimes by an untreated mental illness. Dysfunctional parents may emulate or over-correct from their own dysfunctional parents. In some cases, the dominant parent will abuse or neglect their children and the other parent will not object, misleading a child to assume blame.

Tom Hodgkinson British writer

Tom Hodgkinson is a British writer and the editor of The Idler magazine, which he established in 1993 with his friend Gavin Pretor-Pinney. His philosophy, in his published books and articles, is of a relaxed approach to life, enjoying it as it comes rather than toiling for an imagined better future. The Idler was named after a series of essays written by Dr Johnson from 1758 to 1760.

Outdoor education Organized learning that takes place in the outdoors

Outdoor education is organized learning that takes place in the outdoors. Outdoor education programs sometimes involve residential or journey wilderness-based experiences in which students participate in a variety of adventurous challenges and outdoor activities such as hiking, climbing, canoeing, ropes courses and group games. Outdoor education draws upon the philosophy, theory, and practices of experiential education and environmental education.

Forest school is an outdoor education delivery model in which students visit natural spaces to learn personal, social and technical skills. It has been defined as "an inspirational process that offers children, young people and adults regular opportunities to achieve and develop confidence through hands-on learning in a woodland environment". Forest school is both a pedagogy and a physical entity, with the use often being interchanged. The plural "schools" is often used when referring to a number of groups or sessions.

Gross motor skill Motor skills involving large muscle groups

Gross motor skills are the abilities usually acquired during childhood as part of a child's motor learning. By the time they reach two years of age, almost all children are able to stand up, walk and run, walk up stairs, etc. These skills are built upon, improved and better controlled throughout early childhood, and continue in refinement throughout most of the individual's years of development into adulthood. These gross movements come from large muscle groups and whole body movement. These skills develop in a head-to-toe order. The children will typically learn head control, trunk stability, and then standing up and walking. It is shown that children exposed to outdoor play time activities will develop better gross motor skills.

Forest kindergarten Outdoor-based early learning approach

Forest kindergarten is a type of preschool education for children between the ages of three and six that is held almost exclusively outdoors. Whatever the weather, children are encouraged to play, explore and learn in a forest environment. The adult supervision is meant to assist rather than lead. It is also known as Waldkindergarten, outdoor nursery, or nature kindergarten.

Childhood in Maya society

The role of the children in ancient Mayan civilization was first and foremost to help their elders. Once children turned five or six they were expected to contribute to the family and community. They were treated as young adults and received more responsibilities as they grew older.

Dharma Primary School was the first primary school and nursery in Britain to offer an education based on Buddhist values. It celebrated its 20th anniversary in 2015. It was an independent school and nursery based in East Sussex, on the south east coast of England. The 14th Dalai Lama was a patron.

After-school activities, also known as after-school programs or after-school care, started in the early 1900s mainly just as supervision of students after the final school bell. Today, after-school programs do much more. There is a focus on helping students with school work but can be beneficial to students in other ways. An after-school program, today, will not limit its focus on academics but with a holistic sense of helping the student population. An after-school activity is any organized program that youth or adult learner voluntary can participate in outside of the traditional school day. Some programs are run by a primary or secondary school, while others are run by externally funded non-profit or commercial organizations. After-school youth programs can occur inside a school building or elsewhere in the community, for instance at a community center, church, library, or park. After-school activities are a cornerstone of concerted cultivation, which is a style of parenting that emphasizes children gaining leadership experience and social skills through participating in organized activities. Such children are believed by proponents to be more successful in later life, while others consider too many activities to indicate overparenting. While some research has shown that structured after-school programs can lead to better test scores, improved homework completion, and higher grades, further research has questioned the effectiveness of after-school programs at improving youth outcomes such as externalizing behavior and school attendance. Additionally, certain activities or programs have made strides in closing the achievement gap, or the gap in academic performance between white students and students of color as measured by standardized tests. Though the existence of after-school activities is relatively universal, different countries implement after-school activities differently, causing after-school activities to vary on a global scale.

Positive discipline (PD) is a discipline model used by some schools and in parenting that focuses on the positive points of behavior. It is based on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviors. Practitioners of positive discipline believe that good behavior can be taught and reinforced while weaning bad behaviors without hurting the child verbally or physically. People engaging in positive discipline believe that they are not ignoring problems but dealing with the problem differently by helping the child learn how to handle situations more appropriately while remaining kind to the children themselves.

Play (activity) Voluntary, intrinsically motivated recreation

Play is a range of intrinsically motivated activities done for recreational pleasure and enjoyment. Play is commonly associated with children and juvenile-level activities, but play occurs at any life stage, and among other higher-functioning animals as well, most notably mammals and birds.

Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting. The expression is attributed to Annette Lareau. This parenting style or parenting practice is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents by incorporating organized activities in their children's lives. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle class and upper class American families, and is also characterized by consciously developing language use and ability to interact with social institutions. Many have attributed cultural benefits to this form of child-rearing due to the style's use in higher income families, conversely affecting the social habitus of children raised in such a manner. A child that has been concertedly cultivated will often express greater social prowess in social situations involving formality or structure attributed to their increased experience and engagement in organized clubs, sports, musical groups as well as increased experience with adults and power structure. While this pattern of child rearing holds no innate positive qualities, it has been linked to an increase in financial and academic success.

The first-ever empirically-based Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans were published by the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) in 2008. These guidelines provided physical activity recommendations for people aged six years and older, including those with many chronic health conditions and disabilities. The science-based Guidelines recommend a total amount of physical activity per week to achieve a range of health benefits. In 2018, HHS released an update to the first set of guidelines. This 2018 edition provides guidelines for people aged three years and older and summarizes the new knowledge gained from studies that were conducted since the first edition was released in 2008.

Active Training and Education Trust

Active Training and Education is a not-for-profit, educational charity, which provides residential holidays to children of a school age within the United Kingdom. These holidays are called Superweeks.

Slow education is based upon Socratic, adaptive and non-standards based approaches to teaching. Slow education is in part a reaction to the overly compacted course content requirements teachers are experiencing from nationalized curricula worldwide, which many educators find students cannot cover in a single year with sufficient depth. Slow education is also a reaction to the proliferation of standardized testing, favoring instead qualitative measures of student and teacher success. Slow education is frequently a feature in free, democratic and home schools. However, it can be a significant element in any classroom, including those in college preparatory and rigorous environments. The term "slow education" was derived from the distinction between slow food and fast food or junk food, and is an effort to associate quality, culture, sustainablity and personalization with quality schooling.

Playground Place with a specific design for children to be able to play there

A playground, playpark, or play area is a place designed to provide an environment for children that facilitates play, typically outdoors. While a playground is usually designed for children, some are designed for other age groups, or people with disabilities. A playground might exclude children below a certain age.

References

  1. 1 2 Levine, Madeline (2006). The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids . Harper Collins. pp.  256. ISBN   978-0-06-059584-5.
  2. 1 2 3 4 5 Hodgkinson, Tom (2009). The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids. Hamish Hamilton. pp.  233. ISBN   978-0-241-14373-5.
  3. 1 2 3 Honoré, Carl (2008). Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children From The Culture of Hyper-Parenting. Orion. ISBN   978-0-7528-7531-6.
  4. ↑ Postman, Neil (1985). Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. USA: Penguin. ISBN   0-670-80454-1.
  5. ↑ Gill, Tim (2007). No fear: Growing up in a Risk Averse Society (PDF). Calouste Gulbenkian Foundation. p. 81. ISBN   978-1-903080-08-5. Archived from the original (PDF) on 6 March 2009.
  6. ↑ "Modern life leads to more depression among children". The Daily Telegraph . 12 September 2006.
  7. ↑ Honoré, Carl (25 March 2008). "Slow parenting part two: hey, parents, leave those kids alone". The Daily Telegraph.
  8. ↑ Honoré, Carl (26 March 2008). "Slow parenting part three: let babies learn to think for themselves". The Daily Telegraph.
  9. ↑ Pantović, Nataša (2015). Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course for Parents. Artof4Elements. ISBN   978-99957-54-04-4.
  10. ↑ Pantović, Nataša (March 2013). "Inspired or lost in the technology matrix". Malta Sunday Times.
  11. ↑ Pantovic, Nataša (2015). Conscious Parenting. Artof4elements Publications. ISBN   9789995754044.
  12. ↑ Pantović, Nataša (May 2015). "The Importance of Rhythm, Intuition and Freedom". Artof4Elements.{{cite journal}}: Cite journal requires |journal= (help)
  13. ↑ Pantović, Nataša (April 2012). "Education of the Future". Malta Sunday Times.
  14. ↑ Pantović, Nataša (July 2013). "Create Freedom in the Learning Environment". Malta Sunday Times.
  15. ↑ Hodgkinson, Tom (16 February 2008). "Idle parenting means happy children". The Daily Telegraph. Archived from the original on 22 January 2009.
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