The concept of collusion in couples' relations with two partners is a psychological term for behavioral patterns in relationships for couples therapy. In contemporary psychotherapeutical practice, collusion often refers to a failure of the therapist to maintain neutrality or objectivity, such as when the therapist aligns too closely with a client's distorted perspectives or defenses. It highlights the importance of self-awareness and reflective practice for the therapist.
Karl Jaspers introduced ideas relevant to collusion in his seminal work General Psychopathology (Allgemeine Psychopathologie), first published in 1913. However, Jaspers did not use the term "collusion" explicitly in the way it is commonly understood today. Instead, his work laid the groundwork for understanding interpersonal dynamics and the therapist's influence on the therapeutic relationship.
The term "collusion" in psychotherapy was first introduced by Sándor Ferenczi in 1933. He described collusion as an unconscious process linking the transference reactions of the patient with the countertransference reactions of clinicians, leading to specific and often complex dynamics in the therapeutic relationship. [1]
Later, in 1967, Henry V. Dicks expanded on this concept in his work Marital Tensions, where he explored collusion within marital relationships. Dicks defined collusion as an unconscious, unresolved issue shared by two or more participants, who become interlocked in a defensive maneuver.
In 1975, Jürg Willi further explored the concept in his book The Dyadic Relationship (Die Zweierbeziehung). In this book he introduces his concept of collusion. He interprets collusion to be the unconscious interaction between partners. He delivers an overview of classical phases of two partner couples' relationships. The book is centered around the avoidance of conflicts in these phases. The avoidance is triggering the emergence of collusions. The author understands conflicts of couples as joint neurotic disturbance of the conflict parties. Not every couples' conflict is a collusion, but every destructive attempt of clarification can lead to a collusion. The suggested collusion concept tries to unite different therapy schools in a single theory. He combines different aspects of psychoanalytical (Psychoanalysis), family therapeutic (Family therapy) and communication therapeutic methods. He derives four collusion patterns: [2]
The author understands the dyad as a half-open system and describes the function of third persons in the collusion conflict. For the advancement of a couple, relationships with third persons are necessary. The author restricts himself to considering only those forms, that contribute to not carry out a conflict. He describes different the roles, third persons can take and their effect on the couples' dynamic. Furthermore, he considers psychosomatic couple illness and their consequences for the collusion. A psychosomatic illness has a similar meaning as a third person. Finally, the author describes therapeutic aspects of couples therapy and their effect and application of the collusion concept. A complex topic, which itself fills a second book „Therapie der Zweierbeziehung“. [2]
Ideally the relationship of a narcissistic collusion presents as follows: Partner A, mostly the male, shows himself grandiose, his partner (complementary narcissistic) reacts adoringly. She herself feels small and not worthy of love, she is fixated on him or a third person and presents herself unobtrusive, with a tendency to self-destructive behavior, for example overloading or drug use. He sees her as a decorative part of himself, she seeks a substitute self in him. He represses thereby, that he identifies with a foreign determined replacement self, she represses her claim of an own ideal self. [4] [5]
In the oral collusion one partner takes the role of the caretaker and one partner takes the role of the fosterling. Because the couple is committed to their roles, the conflict develops, where the caretaker perceives the fosterling to be insatiable and ungrateful and the caretaker is perceived accusing and dismissive by the fosterling. The fosterling often reacts depressive. Basically, both partners agree, that the meaning of love is to take care of each other. Their joint resistance, the common fear directs against the idea, that the fosterling must take nursing tasks towards the caretaker. Counseling can help the couple to practice their roles and to reflect experiences and resistances. [4] [6]
Both partners have the common resistance against the idea, to question that the relationship would break, if both partners behaved freely and autonomously. This leads to power struggles, sadomasochism, and jealousy-infidelity patterns. These actions serve the purpose, of secure bonding and being related to each other. [7]
From a psychological point of view every human goes through a complex developing process as a small child, that leads to a sexual identity as boy or girl. Background for the phallic-oedipal collusion of couples are the difficulties, that can arise throughout this process. If the theme of the marriage is the search for confirmation, then most likely both partners have an unresolved relationship to their opposite sex parent and did not have a model in the same sex parent. [8]
In the phallic collusion the male partner follows inflated male claims, while he stays passive-reserved. The frequency and the shaping of sexual encounters are entrusted with the female partner. Not uncommonly there is no sex at all. As a compensation the male partner seek confirmation for example in extreme or dangerous sports. The female partner delegates responsibility and initiative to him, but does not have to be afraid of male expectations from his side. [9]
The mating choice in the oedipal collusion is more directly tied to the opposite sex parent. Often a much older partner is chosen and sometimes the son stays with the mother, or the daughter stays with the father. Sometimes a partner is chosen, who is completely unlike the opposite sex parent, to avoid the tight connectedness from childhood. Humans in deep oedipal entanglement tend to invade the marriages of other humans. [4] [8]
In social psychology, an interpersonal relation describes a social association, connection, or affiliation between two or more persons. It overlaps significantly with the concept of social relations, which are the fundamental unit of analysis within the social sciences. Relations vary in degrees of intimacy, self-disclosure, duration, reciprocity, and power distribution. The main themes or trends of the interpersonal relations are: family, kinship, friendship, love, marriage, business, employment, clubs, neighborhoods, ethical values, support and solidarity. Interpersonal relations may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and form the basis of social groups and societies. They appear when people communicate or act with each other within specific social contexts, and they thrive on equitable and reciprocal compromises.
In Freudian psychoanalysis, the phallic stage is the third stage of psychosexual development, spanning the ages of three to six years, wherein the infant's libido (desire) centers upon their genitalia as the erogenous zone. When children become aware of their bodies, the bodies of other children, and the bodies of their parents, they gratify physical curiosity by undressing and exploring each other and their genitals, the center of the phallic stage, in the course of which they learn the physical differences between the male and female sexes and their associated social roles, experiences which alter the psychologic dynamics of the parent and child relationship. The phallic stage is the third of five Freudian psychosexual development stages: (i) the oral, (ii) the anal, (iii) the phallic, (iv) the latent, and (v) the genital.
Otto Friedmann Kernberg is an Austrian-born American psychoanalyst and professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine. He is most widely known for his psychoanalytic theories on borderline personality organization and narcissistic pathology. In addition, his work has been central in integrating postwar ego psychology with Kleinian and other object relations perspectives. His integrative writings were central to the development of modern object relations, a school within modern psychoanalysis.
Sex therapy is a therapeutic strategy for the improvement of sexual function and treatment of sexual dysfunction. This includes dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lack of sexual interest or arousal, and painful sex ; as well as problems imposed by atypical sexual interests (paraphilias), gender dysphoria, highly overactive libido or hypersexuality, a lack of sexual confidence, and recovering from sexual abuse ; and also includes sexual issues related to aging, illness, or disability.
Countertransference, in psychotherapy, refers to a therapist's redirection of feelings towards a patient or becoming emotionally entangled with them. This concept is central to the understanding of therapeutic dynamics in psychotherapy.
In psychoanalysis, psychosexual development is a central element of the sexual drive theory. According to Freud, personality develops through a series of childhood stages in which pleasure seeking energies from the child become focused on certain erogenous areas. An erogenous zone is characterized as an area of the body that is particularly sensitive to stimulation. The five psychosexual stages are the oral, the anal, the phallic, the latent, and the genital. The erogenous zone associated with each stage serves as a source of pleasure. Being unsatisfied at any particular stage can result in fixation. On the other hand, being satisfied can result in a healthy personality. Sigmund Freud proposed that if the child experienced frustration at any of the psychosexual developmental stages, they would experience anxiety that would persist into adulthood as a neurosis, a functional mental disorder.
Transference is a phenomenon within psychotherapy in which repetitions of old feelings, attitudes, desires, or fantasies that someone displaces are subconsciously projected onto a here-and-now person. Traditionally, it had solely concerned feelings from a primary relationship during childhood.
Couples therapy attempts to improve romantic relationships and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Peter Pan Syndrome is a pop psychology term used to describe an adult who is socially immature. It refers to “never-growing” adults who have reached an adult age, but cannot face their adult sensations and responsibilities. The term is a metaphor based on the concept of not growing up and being trapped in childhood. Individuals with Peter Pan Syndrome display behaviours associated with immaturity and a reluctance to grow up. They have difficulties in social and professional relationships because of their irresponsible behaviours and narcissistic properties. While it has often only been associated with males in the past, it can affect anyone, regardless of sex or gender.
Projective identification is a term introduced by Melanie Klein and then widely adopted in psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Projective identification may be used as a type of defense, a means of communicating, a primitive form of relationship, or a route to psychological change; used for ridding the self of unwanted parts or for controlling the other's body and mind.
Self psychology, a modern psychoanalytic theory and its clinical applications, was conceived by Heinz Kohut in Chicago in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s, and is still developing as a contemporary form of psychoanalytic treatment. In self psychology, the effort is made to understand individuals from within their subjective experience via vicarious introspection, basing interpretations on the understanding of the self as the central agency of the human psyche. Essential to understanding self psychology are the concepts of empathy, selfobject, mirroring, idealising, alter ego/twinship and the tripolar self. Though self psychology also recognizes certain drives, conflicts, and complexes present in Freudian psychodynamic theory, these are understood within a different framework. Self psychology was seen as a major break from traditional psychoanalysis and is considered the beginnings of the relational approach to psychoanalysis.
In psychoanalysis, resistance is the individual's efforts to prevent repressed drives, feelings or thoughts from being integrated into conscious awareness.
Feminists have long struggled with Sigmund Freud's classical model of gender and identity development, which centers on the Oedipus complex. Freud's model, which became integral to orthodox psychoanalysis, suggests that because women lack the visible genitals of the male, they feel they are "missing" the most central characteristic necessary for gaining narcissistic value—therefore developing feelings of gender inequality and penis envy. In his late theory on the feminine, Freud recognized the early and long lasting libidinal attachment of the daughter to the mother during the pre-oedipal stages. Feminist psychoanalysts have confronted these ideas and reached different conclusions. Some generally agree with Freud's major outlines, modifying it through observations of the pre-Oedipal phase. Others reformulate Freud's theories more completely.
Splitting, also called binary thinking, black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, or thinking in extremes, is the failure in a person's thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both perceived positive and negative qualities of something into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common defense mechanism, wherein the individual tends to think in extremes. This kind of dichotomous interpretation is contrasted by an acknowledgement of certain nuances known as "shades of gray". Splitting can include different contexts, as individuals who use this defense mechanism may "split" representations of their own mind, of their own personality, and of others. Splitting is observed in Cluster B personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, as well as schizophrenia and depression. In dissociative identity disorder, the term splitting is used to refer to a split in personality alters.
Triangulation is a term in psychology most closely associated with the work of Murray Bowen known as family therapy. Bowen theorized that a two-person emotional system is unstable, in that under stress it forms itself into a three-person system or triangle.
Emotionally focused therapy and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) are related humanistic approaches to psychotherapy that aim to resolve emotional and relationship issues with individuals, couples, and families. These therapies combine experiential therapy techniques, including person-centered and Gestalt therapies, with systemic therapy and attachment theory. The central premise is that emotions influence cognition, motivate behavior, and are strongly linked to needs. The goals of treatment include transforming maladaptive behaviors, such as emotional avoidance, and developing awareness, acceptance, expression, and regulation of emotion and understanding of relationships. EFT is usually a short-term treatment.
In classical psychoanalytic theory, the Oedipus complex refers to a son's sexual attitude towards his mother and concomitant hostility toward his father, first formed during the phallic stage of psychosexual development. A daughter's attitude of desire for her father and hostility toward her mother is referred to as the feminine Oedipus complex. The general concept was considered by Sigmund Freud in The Interpretation of Dreams (1899), although the term itself was introduced in his paper A Special Type of Choice of Object made by Men (1910).
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Surrogate partners, formerly referred to as sex surrogates, are practitioners trained in addressing issues of intimacy and sexuality. A surrogate partner works in collaboration with a talk therapist to meet the goals of their client. This triadic model, composed of the client, talk therapist, and surrogate partner therapist is used to dually support the client and the surrogate partner therapist. The client engages with the surrogate partner therapist in experiential exercises and builds a relationship with their surrogate partner therapist while processing and integrating their experiences with their talk therapist or clinician.
Control mastery theory or CMT is an integrative theory of how psychotherapy works, that draws on psychodynamic, relational and cognitive principles. Originally the theory was developed within a psychoanalytical framework, by psychoanalyst and researcher Joseph Weiss, MD (1924-2004). CMT is also a theory of how the mind operates, with an emphasis of the unconscious, and how psychological problems may develop based on traumatic experiences early in life. The name of the theory comes from two central premises; the assumption that people have control over their mental content, and the belief that patients who come to therapy are fundamentally motivated to master their lives.
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