Conscious uncoupling

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"Conscious uncoupling" is a neologism used in the 21st century to refer to a relatively amicable breakup or marital divorce. It was popularized by Gwyneth Paltrow in 2014, when she used the phrase to describe her and her husband's then-recent separation. [1]

Contents

Background

Sociologist Diane Vaughan proposed an "uncoupling theory" in 1976. Vaughan saw the process where a relationship reaches a crossroads, when both parties realize that "everything went dead inside". It usually is followed by a lengthy phase, during which one of the partners (the "respondent") holds on to the failing relationship, in spite of unconsciously knowing that it is coming to the end. [2]

Vaughan perceived the process of the breakup affecting the initiator and respondent unevenly. While the breakup initiator "has begun mourning the loss of the relationship", [3] the respondent has not. Vaughan suggests that "to make their own transition out of the relationship, partners must redefine initiator and relationship negatively, legitimating the dissolution". [4]

Vaughan proposed that "getting out of a relationship includes a redefinition of self at several levels: in the private thoughts of the individual, between partners, and in the larger social context in which the relationship exists". [5]

Vaughan sees the uncoupling process as finished when "the partners have defined themselves and are defined by others as separate and independent of each other - when being partners is no longer a major source of identity". [5]

Usage

Gwyneth Paltrow popularized the terms "conscious uncoupling" to describe her separation from Chris Martin. [1] [6]

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References

  1. 1 2 Louis Degenhardt (2016-04-26), "What is conscious uncoupling?", The Guardian
  2. Vaughan, Diane (1986). Uncoupling - Turning Points in Intimate Relationships . Oxford University Press. ISBN   978-0-679-73002-6. p. 81 and p. 218n
  3. Vaughan, p. 60
  4. Vaughan, p. 154
  5. 1 2 Vaughan, p. 6
  6. Elle.com, Natalie Matthews. "What Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Conscious Uncoupling' really means". CNN. Retrieved 28 June 2019.

Further reading

Thomas, Katherine Woodward (2015). Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. Harmony Books. p. 307. ISBN   978-0-553-44699-9.