Cupboard love

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Cupboard love is a popular learning theory of the 1950s and 1960s based on the research of Sigmund Freud, Anna Freud, Melanie Klein and Mary Ainsworth. [1] Rooted in psychoanalysis, the theory speculates that attachment develops in the early stages of infancy. This process involves the mother satisfying her infant's instinctual needs, exclusively. Cupboard love theorists conclude that during infancy, our primary drive is food which leads to a secondary drive for attachment. [2]

Contents

Origin and evolution of cupboard love theories

Sigmund Freud (1856–1939)

Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis, was the first to suggest that attachment is a result of the mother fulfilling her infant's physiological needs. [3] Eventually, the infant begins to comprehend that the mother is the primary caregiver, becoming attached through the feeding process.

Freud believed this instinctive demeanor was rooted in years of evolution, from the time of hunter gatherers. [4] Approximately four million years ago, humans were governed by instinctive behaviors, where they learned how to live in difficult conditions. Similarly, Freud hypothesized that the infant is also guided by an instinctive nature, forming a bond with the person who will ensure their survival. [4]

René Spitz (1887–1974)

René Spitz (1959) proposed a phase called "eight-month anxiety" when an infant develops anxiety when left alone with strangers, and the mother is absent. [5] The author is also known for describing the consequences of mother deprivation in the development of babies, resulting in the syndromes of Hospitalism [6] and Anaclitic Depression, [7] depending on the time the child is left without the mother and the age they are on when the mother leaves.

Therese Benedek (1892–1977)

Therese Benedek (1952) studied symbiosis between the mother and infant. She suggested that the phase of extra-uterine symbiosis (events characteristic of a mother infant relationship, including crying, sleep, feeding, etc.) produces reciprocal interactions between the mother and infant. [5] When the mother satisfies the needs of the infant, the infant is not only grateful having been satisfied, but it is also grateful to the mother for providing protection and a sense of security. These interactions build a sense of trust and preserve the security of symbiosis. [5]

Heinz Hartman (1894–1970)

Heinz Hartmann focused on the connection between ego functions and object relations. He acknowledged the importance of communication and understanding between the child and the mother. His research concluded, that during a later phase of infancy, the child begins to comprehend the difference between the love or loss of love from the mother and an object. [5]

Anna Freud (1957) Anna Freud 1957.jpg
Anna Freud (1957)

Anna Freud (1895–1982)

Sigmund Freud's youngest daughter, Anna Freud (1954) expanded on her father's idea of the instinct theory, associating the origin of object relations with gratification. [5] Her research deduced that an infant is naturally self-centered, only communicating with the mother to satisfy its needs and produce a pleasurable state of being. She concluded that in the early stages of infancy, the child does not love their mother, but rather the experience of being fed.

In 1965, she defined true object relations as the later stage in development where "the baby perceives his/her mother as a person separate from himself." [5] Regardless of the infant's needs, the mother is not forgotten and is missed when absent. [5]

Melanie Klein (1882–1960)

Melanie Klein's emphasizes that the mother's breast is the infant's perceived object of maximum gratification. Klein claims that the infant's concept of gratification is just as strongly related to the object which provides gratification, as to the food itself. [5]

Margaret Mahler (1897–1985)

Margaret Mahler (1965) modified Benedek's concept of symbiosis. Mahler described a parasite-host relationship between the fetus and mother during the prenatal period. [5] During the postnatal period, the baby enters a phase called the "symbiotic envelope" where their primary task is to separate from the mother, instead of forming a relationship of attachment. [5]

Dr. Sibylle Escalona (1915–1996)

Sibylle Escalona (1953) placed less emphasis on need-gratification than previous literature. Instead, she suggested that mother-infant interactions, such as smiling, babbling and playing, do not fulfill the infant's physiological needs, as the baby's self and non-self awareness is not fully developed.

Developing the theory of attachment

John Bowlby (1907–1990)

Psychoanalyst John Bowlby argued that the cupboard love theory overemphasized the positive aspects of the infant-mother relationship. His research aimed to expand on initial studies and perspectives on attachment to include the nature and emotional dynamic of the child's tie to his mother. [8]

Bowlby described attachment as being a reciprocal relationship, where both the parents and the child become attached to each other. [9] He also favored the ethological view of attachment, rooted in instinct. [2] The foundation of his research inferred that our ability to form attachment is based on a genetic blueprint, allowing the mother to interact and communicate with her infant.

In addition, Bowlby also strongly debated the idea of monotropy; the scenario where the infant will only form attachment with one person. This concept was proven false by studies in psychoanalytic literature.

Mary Ainsworth (1913–1999)

Mary Ainsworth supported the cupboard love theory early in her career, but was later swayed otherwise by Bowlby and his studies focused on ethology. [10] She reasoned against, claiming that the cupboard love theory supported the rationale that attachment is only a one-way relationship. It did not factor in the significance of the mother's acceptance towards her child in developing attachment. Sigmund Freud's research also highlighted the significance of an emotional bond between the infant and caregiver in developing a child's superego. [2]

Prior to their meeting, Ainsworth was inspired by Bowlby to travel to Uganda to study infant-mother interaction. Based on her findings in Uganda, she later conducted a longitudinal study in Baltimore. Here, she studied infant behavior, making observations based on infants responses during the Strange Situation task. [11] Her results led to the identification of four key dimensions of maternal care: sensitivity - insensitivity, cooperation - interference, acceptance - rejection, and accessibility - ignoring/neglecting. [10]

Later in her career, Ainsworth collaborated with John Bowlby (1949–1953) to further develop the Theory of Attachment. [10] Her experimental research provided empirical evidence, validating Bowlby's hypothesis on the infant attachment process with their primary caregivers. [11]

Theory of attachment

Bowlby describes attachment as the "affectionate ties we feel for the special people in our lives." [9] The child begins the process of attachment in early infancy, eventually relying on the caregiver for feelings of comfort and safety. [12] In time, the child may become distressed when the caregiver is absent, wanting to remain in their proximity. [12]

Developing attachment in infancy

Attachment is the result of social interaction between an infant and caregiver over a gradual period of time. [9]

Phases of attachments

Infants develop attachment through a series of phases that range from ages 0 to 9 months. [13] A secure attachment promotes the exploration of the close surrounding environment.

1. Asocial Phase

The asocial phase occurs during the first 0–6 weeks of infancy. [9] Infants respond equally to both social and nonsocial stimuli, but show preference for a smiling face. [9]

2. Phase of indiscriminate attachment

The phase of indiscriminate attachment occurs between six weeks and six to seven months. [9] During this phase, the infant begins to favor social interaction, especially from primary caregivers.

3. Specific attachment phase

The specific attachment phase occurs between seven and nine months. [9] During this period, the infant becomes increasingly attached to the mother, and becomes distressed and cautious around strangers.

4. Phase of multiple attachments

At 18 months, infants develop multiple attachments towards other family members and relatives. [9]

Types of attachment

It is possible to characterize the attachment between the infant and the caregiver using the Strange Situation procedure. Following the experiment, the infant's quality of attachment is characterized in one of four ways. [9]

1. Secure Attachment

This is the most common categorization, occurring in 60–65% of American infants. [9] The infant feels safe to explore and interact with strangers while the mother is nearby, preferring her company when distressed.

2. Resistant attachment

This category makes up 10% of infants. They are insecure, remaining close to their mother. They explore very little, are cautious of strangers, and become stressed when the mother is absent. When the mother returns, the infant will remain near her but will avoid physical contact. [9]

3. Avoidant attachment

20% of infants in American are considered to have avoidant attachment. They remain neutral when the mother is absent, often ignoring both the mother and strangers. [9]

4. Disorganized

The infants categorized as disorganized/disorientated are the most insecure and make up 5–15% of American infants. [9] They exhibit both avoidant and resistant attachment behavior. This infant will become fearful when the mother is absent, and avoid her when reunited.

Synchronized routines play a significant role in the development of interactional synchrony, predictors for quality attachment. [9] During the first few months of infancy it is important for the caregiver to react using appropriate facial gestures, to the infant's behavior. An infant may experience distress if the mother chooses to communicate with her child using a "still-face." Therefore, unpredictable responses from the mother towards the infant can have the power to affect the quality and the speed at which attachment develops.

Factors that affect attachment

1. Culture

Culture can affect the categorization of infant attachment. [9] In Germany, infants are encouraged to be more independent, exhibiting what is perceived as avoidant attachment. [14] In Japan, children are more likely to develop stranger anxiety as parents rarely leave them in the care of another. [15] This phenomenon is referred to as Amae, where children are dependent on their mother. [9]

2. Quality of care-giving

Ainsworth speculates that quality attachment is dependent on quality attention from the mother. [1] A mother who promotes secure infant attachment is generally sensitive, has a positive attitude, and is supportive. Infants often develop resistant attachment when the parents are inconsistent in their caregiving. [9] An infant is at risk of developing insecure attachment when the mother is self-centered, abusive, depressed, or mistreats her infant. [9]

3. Ecological constraints

Insecure attachment is likely to develop if the parents are experiencing health-related, legal, financial or relationship problems. [16]

4. Infant temperament

An infant who resists change and is easily distressed is more likely to develop resistant attachment. Whereas, an infant who is friendly and easy going to more prone to develop a secure attachment. [9]

Fathers as attachment objects

Until the 1970s, fathers were perceived as biological necessities with a minor role in their development. Today, there is a range of data illustrating that fathers are highly involved in their infant's life, but play a different role than the mother. [9] Mothers are more like to hold, talk, and soothe the infants, whereas fathers provide physical stimulation and unpredictable games. [17]

Cupboard love in psychoanalysis and behaviorism

Both psychoanalytic and behaviorist theories acknowledge that attachment is formed when the mother satisfies her infant's basic needs. However, they argue on how these needs are met. Psychoanalysts debate that a baby can only be gratified through physiological means (feeding, security, etc.). Whereas, behaviorists contend that conditioning is more probable. Regardless, each theory suggests that attachment is a form of “cupboard love” as the mother is only loved because she satisfies her infant's needs. [2]

Sigmund Freud (1921) Sigmund Freud LIFE.jpg
Sigmund Freud (1921)

Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalytic theory focuses on personality organization, specifically the dynamics of personality development. Sigmund Freud theorized that an infant's instinctual needs for food, security, and oral sexual gratification are all satisfied by the mother. Through this process of gratification, the infant begins to desire the mother. This form of attachment is often referred to as cupboard love.

Behaviorism

The Behaviorism theory rose in popularity during the 20th century, as it had roots in science, focusing on objective observation and measured outcomes. The results were particularly influential in determining the future behaviors of infants.

Behaviorists similarly theorize that infants become attached to whoever satisfies their needs through conditioning. In this theory, any caregiver (often parents) can reinforce conditioning. Caregivers then become associated with gratification, and a feeling of security. [2]

Pavlov's Dog Pavlov's dog conditioning.svg
Pavlov's Dog

Classical conditioning

Classical conditioning is a theory of learning discovered by physiologist, Ivan Pavlov. It supports assumptions that form the foundation of behaviorism. These basic ideas suggest that all learning occurs through interactions within the environment, and that environment shapes behavior.

Various similarities exist between cupboard love and classical conditioning. Pavlov, known for Pavlov's dog experiment, discovered that his dog would salivate at the sound of a bell, associating the ringing with food. Eventually, the dog would salivate each time he heard the bell ring. When there was no food, the dog would still show affection to Pavlov in an attempt to be fed. Similarly, the cupboard love theory suggests that an infant will demonstrate characteristics perceived as affection and love towards the mother in order to be fed.

Refrigerator mother versus cupboard love

Cupboard love is not to be confused with the term refrigerator mother. The refrigerator mother theory claimed that autism is caused by lack of maternal affection. This theory has been debunked by more current research on autism. [18]

Other uses of "cupboard love"

The term "cupboard love" is a British idiom, used most commonly in the United Kingdom. [19] It describes the selfish, greedy or insincere affection displayed towards another person in order to get what they want. [19] Pets are most frequently described as demonstrating cupboard love. [19]

The term "cupboard-lover" refers to someone who will only profess their love, or act endearingly for the sake of gain from another person. [20]

Related Research Articles

Psychoanalysis is a set of theories and therapeutic techniques that deal in part with the unconscious mind, and which together form a method of treatment for mental disorders. The discipline was established in the early 1890s by Sigmund Freud, whose work stemmed partly from the clinical work of Josef Breuer and others. Freud developed and refined the theory and practice of psychoanalysis until his death in 1939. In an encyclopedic article, he identified the cornerstones of psychoanalysis as "the assumption that there are unconscious mental processes, the recognition of the theory of repression and resistance, the appreciation of the importance of sexuality and of the Oedipus complex." Freud's colleagues Alfred Adler and Carl Gustav Jung developed offshoots of psychoanalysis which they called individual psychology (Adler) and analytical psychology (Jung), although Freud himself wrote a number of criticisms of them and emphatically denied that they were forms of psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysis was later developed in different directions by neo-Freudian thinkers, such as Erich Fromm, Karen Horney, and Harry Stack Sullivan.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Melanie Klein</span> Austrian-British psychoanalyst (1882–1960)

Melanie Klein was an Austrian-British author and psychoanalyst known for her work in child analysis. She was the primary figure in the development of object relations theory. Klein suggested that pre-verbal existential anxiety in infancy catalyzed the formation of the unconscious, which resulted in the unconscious splitting of the world into good and bad idealizations. In her theory, how the child resolves that split depends on the constitution of the child and the character of nurturing the child experiences. The quality of resolution can inform the presence, absence, and/or type of distresses a person experiences later in life.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Attachment theory</span> Psychological ethological theory about human relationships

Attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans. The most important tenet is that young children need to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for normal social and emotional development. The theory was formulated by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907-1990).

Object relations theory is a school of thought in psychoanalytic theory and psychoanalysis centered around theories of stages of ego development. Its concerns include the relation of the psyche to others in childhood and the exploration of relationships between external people, as well as internal images and the relations found in them. Thinkers of the school maintain that the infant's relationship with the mother primarily determines the formation of its personality in adult life. Particularly, attachment is the bedrock of the development of the self or the psychic organization that creates the sense of identity.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">John Bowlby</span> British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst (1907–1990)

Edward John Mostyn Bowlby, CBE, FBA, FRCP, FRCPsych was a British psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst, notable for his interest in child development and for his pioneering work in attachment theory. A Review of General Psychology survey, published in 2002, ranked Bowlby as the 49th most cited psychologist of the 20th century.

In Freudian Ego psychology, psychosexual development is a central element of the psychoanalytic sexual drive theory. Freud believed that personality developed through a series of childhood stages in which pleasure seeking energies from the child became focused on certain erogenous areas. An erogenous zone is characterized as an area of the body that is particularly sensitive to stimulation. The five psychosexual stages are the oral, the anal, the phallic, the latent, and the genital. The erogenous zone associated with each stage serves as a source of pleasure. Being unsatisfied at any particular stage can result in fixation. On the other hand, being satisfied can result in a healthy personality. Sigmund Freud proposed that if the child experienced frustration at any of the psychosexual developmental stages, they would experience anxiety that would persist into adulthood as a neurosis, a functional mental disorder.

Nancy Julia Chodorow is an American sociologist and professor. She began her career as a professor of Women's studies at Wellesley College in 1973, and from 1974 on taught at the University of California, Santa Cruz, until 1986. She then was a professor in the departments of sociology and clinical psychology at the University of California, Berkeley until she resigned in 1986, after which she taught psychiatry at Harvard Medical School/Cambridge Health Alliance. Chodorow is often described as a leader in feminist thought, especially in the realms of psychoanalysis and psychology.

Margaret Schönberger Mahler was an Austrian-American psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and pediatrician. She did pioneering work in the field of infant and young child research. On the basis of empirical studies, she developed a development model that became particularly influential in psychoanalysis and Object relations theory. Mahler developed the separation–individuation theory of child development.

Dependency need is "the vital, originally infantile needs for mothering, love, affection, shelter, protection, security, food, and warmth."

Mary Dinsmore Ainsworth was an American-Canadian developmental psychologist known for her work in the development of the attachment theory. She designed the strange situation procedure to observe early emotional attachment between a child and their primary caregiver.

In psychology, an affectional bond is a type of attachment behavior one individual has for another individual, typically a caregiver for their child, in which the two partners tend to remain in proximity to one another. The term was coined and subsequently developed over the course of four decades, from the early 1940s to the late 1970s, by psychologist John Bowlby in his work on attachment theory. The core of the term affectional bond, according to Bowlby, is the attraction one individual has for another individual. The central features of the concept of affectional bonding can be traced to Bowlby's 1958 paper, "The Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother".

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Attachment in children</span> Biological instinct

Attachment in children is "a biological instinct in which proximity to an attachment figure is sought when the child senses or perceives threat or discomfort. Attachment behaviour anticipates a response by the attachment figure which will remove threat or discomfort". Attachment also describes the function of availability, which is the degree to which the authoritative figure is responsive to the child's needs and shares communication with them. Childhood attachment can define characteristics that will shape the child's sense of self, their forms of emotion-regulation, and how they carry out relationships with others. Attachment is found in all mammals to some degree, especially primates.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Maternal deprivation</span> Work on the effects of separating infants/young children from their mother

Maternal deprivation is a scientific term summarising the early work of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby on the effects of separating infants and young children from their mother. Although the effect of loss of the mother on the developing child had been considered earlier by Freud and other theorists, Bowlby's work on delinquent and affectionless children and the effects of hospital and institutional care led to his being commissioned to write the World Health Organization's report on the mental health of homeless children in post-war Europe whilst he was head of the Department for Children and Parents at the Tavistock Clinic in London after World War II. The result was the monograph Maternal Care and Mental Health published in 1951, which sets out the maternal deprivation hypothesis.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">History of attachment theory</span>

Attachment theory, originating in the work of John Bowlby, is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Oedipus complex</span> Idea in psychoanalysis

In classical psychoanalytic theory, the Oedipus complex refers to a son's sexual attitude towards his mother and concomitant hostility toward his father, first formed during the phallic stage of psychosexual development. A daughter's attitude of desire for her father and hostility toward her mother is referred to as the feminine Oedipus complex. The general concept was considered by Sigmund Freud in The Interpretation of Dreams (1899), although the term itself was introduced in his paper A Special Type of Choice of Object made by Men (1910).

Patricia McKinsey Crittenden is an American psychologist known for her work in the development of attachment theory and science, her work in the field of developmental psychopathology, and for creation of the Dynamic-Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation (DMM).

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Maternal sensitivity</span>

Maternal sensitivity is a mother's ability to perceive and infer the meaning behind her infant's behavioural signals, and to respond to them promptly and appropriately. Maternal sensitivity affects child development at all stages through life, from infancy, all the way to adulthood. In general, more sensitive mothers have healthier, more socially and cognitively developed children than those who are not as sensitive. Also, maternal sensitivity has been found to affect the person psychologically even as an adult. Adults who experienced high maternal sensitivity during their childhood were found to be more secure than those who experienced less sensitive mothers. Once the adult becomes a parent themselves, their own understanding of maternal sensitivity will affect their own children's development. Some research suggests that adult mothers display more maternal sensitivity than adolescent mothers who may in turn have children with a lower IQ and reading level than children of adult mothers.

Psychodynamic Therapy with Infants and Parents aims to relieve emotional disturbances within the parent(s), the baby, and/or their interaction, for example, postnatal depression and anxiety, infant distress with breastfeeding and sleep, and attachment disorders. It rests on attachment theory and psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud suggested that a modification of his method could be applied to children, and child analysis was introduced in the 1920s by [Anna Freud].., [Melanie Klein], and Hermine Hug von Hellmuth. Klein speculated on infantile experiences to understand her patients' disorders but she did not practice PTIP. Donald Winnicott, a pediatrician and analyst, focused on the mother-baby interplay in his theorizing and his brief parent-child consultations, but he did not work with PTIP.

Internal working model of attachment is a psychological approach that attempts to describe the development of mental representations, specifically the worthiness of the self and expectations of others' reactions to the self. This model is a result of interactions with primary caregivers which become internalized, and is therefore an automatic process. John Bowlby implemented this model in his attachment theory in order to explain how infants act in accordance with these mental representations. It is an important aspect of general attachment theory.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Joyce Robertson</span> British psychiatric social worker (1919–2013)

Joyce Robertson was a British psychiatric social worker, child behavioural researcher, childcare pioneer and pacifist, who was most notable for changing attitudes to the societally acceptable, institutionalised care and hospitalisation of young children, that was prevalent. In the late 1940s Robertson worked with Anna Freud first at the Well Baby Clinic and later in the Hampstead Child Therapy Clinic. She was later joined by her husband James Robertson. In 1965, both of them moved to the Tavistock Institute of Human Relations to work with John Bowlby on the Young Children in Brief Separation project and the development of attachment theory. This was to research the mental state and psychological development of children who underwent brief separation from their parents. Later in her career, Robertson worked with her husband to produce a series of celebrated documentary films that highlighted the reaction of small children who were separated from their parents. These were shown in hospitals, foster care and state run hospitals. Later she was known for promoting the idea of foster care instead of residential nurseries.

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