McHale's Navy is an American sitcom starring Ernest Borgnine that aired 138 half-hour episodes over four seasons, from October 11, 1962, to April 12, 1966, on the ABC television network. [1] [2] [3] The series was filmed in black and white.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | "An Ensign for McHale" | Edward J. Montagne | Gene L. Coon | October 11, 1962 | |
Ensign Charles Parker (Tim Conway), newly assigned to the PT 73 crew as Executive Officer, is Captain Binghamton's (Joe Flynn) last hope to tame McHale (Ernest Borgnine) and his "pirates". Binghamton gives Parker one week to get McHale and his men into proper navy form or risk being transferred to the worst assignment in the entire Navy. Though Parker is unwelcome at first, McHale sees potential in the young officer, and orders his crew to shape up so that Parker will not be shipped out. Carl Ballantine as Lester Gruber. Gary Vinson as George Christopher. Billy Sands as Harrison 'Tinker' Bell. Edson Stroll as Virgil Edwards. Gavin MacLeod as Happy. John Wright as Willy Moss. Yoshio Yoda as Fuji Kobiaji. Note: Bob Hastings, Lt. Elroy Carpenter, does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 2 | 2 | "A Purple Heart for Gruber" | Sidney Lanfield | Danny Arnold | October 18, 1962 | |
Gruber drops off some laundry that Binghamton had him do. Binghamton tells McHale that an enemy sub has established a base in the area. He wants McHale to find it. While on a training missing, Gruber and the men do laundry in the ocean. The Japanese sub spots them and fires a torpedo. The torpedo hits the tub with the laundry that is being dragged behind PT 73. Gruber gets a small cut on his finger. Gruber wants McHale to send in a citation for a Purple Heart. McHale gets upset when he learns that Parker already sent in the citation. A misunderstanding leads Binghamton to believe that McHale's men sunk the sub. Now the crew has to go out after the sub before Binghamton finds out it is still there. They spot the sub and it fires a torpedo. The men cannot get the PT 73 to start its engine, but the torpedo misses them. Later, they do manage to sink the sub. Dale Ishimoto as Japanese Commander. | ||||||
| 3 | 3 | "McHale and His Seven Cupids" | Sidney Lanfield | Larry Markes & Michael Morris | October 25, 1962 | |
The men are getting their shots from a new, very attractive nurse, Lt. Casey Brown (Betsy Jones-Moreland). Parker is infatuated with Casey. McHale helps Parker invite Casey to their base for dinner. That night at dinner, McHale's attempt to make Parker seem taller fail. Parker winds up getting drunk on peaches soaked in alcohol. McHale plots a scheme where they try to make Parker have the symptoms of 'battle fatigue' so that he can be close to the nurse. Casey begins treating Parker. McHale has the men come up with love letters that will make Parker look as though a lot of women are interested in him. Parker starts to believe that McHale is actually in love with Casey. Then he finds out Casey is already married. Later, Parker is assigned 2 weeks of rest in Sydney, Australia. Now some of the other men pretend to have 'battle fatigue' so they get sent away. Note: Joe Flynn (Captain Binghamton) and Bob Hastings (Carpenter) do not appear in this episode, despite both being credited. | ||||||
| 4 | 4 | "PT 73, Where Are You?" | Edward J. Montagne | Joseph Heller | November 1, 1962 | |
Binghamton tells McHale that Admiral Reynolds is rewarding him for finding a Japanese sub by sending him to New Caledonia for a break. McHale learns that Virgil, PT 73 Gunner's Mate, lost the 73 while taking a nightly ride to charm an island girl. He parked the boat and went for a walk in the jungle with the girl. Because it was dark, he could not find his way back to the boat and they walked to the village. McHale sends Virgil and Tinker out to look for the boat. Binghamton finds out and is ready to have McHale in front of a court martial. Parker tells McHale he may even have to pay for the boat. The crew arranges for a replacement so they can take the week's R&R trip to New Caledonia. Binghamton becomes suspicious when McHale says they found the 73. He cancels their trip and lets Carpenter's boat go instead. Carpenter tells Binghamton that his boat is missing. Things get complicated when Virgil comes back with the 73. Carpenter's PT 116 is found, but when he and Binghamton inspect it, there are a lot of things on it that shouldn't be, because it is really the 73. McHale and the men take what is really Carpenters boat to New Caledonia. | ||||||
| 5 | 5 | "Movies Are Your Best Diversion" | Edward J. Montagne | Larry Markes & Michael Morris | November 8, 1962 | |
The 73 crew find a way to have a late night party with some of the nurses. Binghamton is not happy about it and let's McHale know. McHale tells the men they are going to an island that the Japanese have occupied. They are going just to observe. Before they leave, McHale and Gruber manage to take some war movies that were meant for Binghamton from the Supply Lieutenant. On the island, McHale visits with an old friend, Chief Maku-Maku (Leon Lontoc). McHale learns that there are around 130 Japanese on the other side of the island. Binghamton and Carpenter discuss how the Supply Convoy has been held up and are near the island. McHale and the men hope to avert an attack on the convoy, by employing a clever plan involving John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, and Errol Flynn. McHale accomplishes this by splicing the war movies, that they stole from Binghamton, together and placing large speakers on the island. Now the Japanese will hear all the bombing and think a landing is taking place. There are some problems, but the convoy does make it safely past the island. John Fujioka as The Japanese Aide. Mako as The Japanese Sentry. | ||||||
| 6 | 6 | "Operation Wedding Party" | Edward J. Montagne | Marty Roth | November 15, 1962 | |
Christy, PT-73 Quartermaster, and his fiancee, Lieutenant Gloria Winters (Cindy Robbins), tell McHale that she is being sent back to the states. They want to ask Binghamton if they can get married. McHale knows Binghamton will not allow it. McHale comes up with the idea to sneak Christy and Gloria over to Father Nelson. Nelson has a mission about 100 miles away. McHale tells Christy that no one else can know about it. Word gets out and the crew know about it. Gruber starts making plans for the wedding. McHale finds out and reluctantly agrees to a wedding party with the crew. The party gets bigger when Gloria's fellow nurses want to join. Happy and Virgil tease Tinker when Nurse Molly Turner (Jane Dulo) has him modeling the wedding dress. Everyone has to hide things when Binghamton is spotted coming. McHale comes up with a viable excuse when Binghamton finds Tinker in the dress. Binghamton tells the men that he is sending them on some exercises that night, which is when the wedding was to be. Molly comes up with a way for Binghamton to cancel the exercises. There are some Japanese on Father Nelson's island, but they get frightened away. Christy and Gloria are married. Don Matheson as Lt. Harris. Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 7 | 7 | "Who Do the Voodoo?" | Edward J. Montagne | Gene L. Coon | November 22, 1962 | |
Chief Pali Urulu (Jacques Aubuchon) comes to see McHale. Urulu says that the Navy's "cannon boats" destroyed his coconut trees and he wants $100,000. McHale sends him to Binghamton. When Binghamton refuses to give him anything, Urulu puts a curse on him. Binghamton thinks it is all funny until he starts having bad luck at every turn. Back on the island, Gruber is doing magic tricks for the guys. Tinker tells them that bad things are happening to Binghamton. Binghamton decides to file a claim for Urulu. Gruber tells the men that Adm. Hawkins (Willis Bouchey) is coming to replace Binghamton. McHale knows they will be worse off with Hawkins. McHale wants Gruber to pretend to be a local witch doctor and make Binghamton believe that he can remove the curse. Gruber starts to perform a ritual to a reluctant Binghamton. Meanwhile, Hawkins arrives and takes Carpenter to go look for Binghamton. Gruber is still performing his ritual when Urulu shows up. Gruber does a magic trick to prove to Urulu that he is a witch doctor. Urulu removes the curse on Binghamton. Hawkins arrives and a Urulu puts a curse on him. McHale finds a way to have Binghamton keep his command. | ||||||
| 8 | 8 | "Three Girls on an Island" | Sidney Lanfield | Si Rose & Fred Finklehoffe | November 29, 1962 | |
McHale and the crew rescue a pilot that had to parachute into the ocean. The pilot is surprised when there is also a bunch of native women on the ship having a luau. Binghamton tells Carpenter that the Tyler Sisters will be arriving to entertain Admiral Reynolds (Herbert Lytton). They are a 3-sister singing act, Lil, Rita and Peggy (Marian Collier). Gruber and the men want to have a luau for the sisters and steal some of the food that Binghamton had planned for his dinner party. Binghamton confines the men to their island and he finds some of the stolen items. Just then Carpenter tells him that the sister's plane had engine trouble and had to land on a deserted island. Carpenter also says that the Admiral wanted McHale's men to find them. The men find the women and start flirting with them. Gruber tells McHale that they have some engine trouble and Tinker will have to fix it. But the girls, having had such experiences in the past, are wise to their plan. The girls refuse to play along and insist the men get things fixed immediately. Binghamton and Carpenter go to the island searching for the girls, but everyone is gone already. By the time they get back, the girls have already performed for the Admiral. The girls just want to get back to New Caledonia. The girls cannot believe it when Reynolds' pilot says the plane is having some engine trouble. | ||||||
| 9 | 9 | "McHale's Paradise Motel" | Sidney Lanfield | Walter Kempley | December 6, 1962 | |
Nurse Molly complains to McHale how there is nothing to do on this island. McHale asks Binghamton if his men could have some time off. Binghamton instead sends the 73 on a recon mission to Takajema, a deserted island. They find an empty plantation home there. The house is furnished and has a piano and a phonograph. They decide to keep it a secret from Binghamton and make it a party house. They invite the nurses and even serve alcohol. Binghamton gets a call from the Admiral, who tells him air reconnaissance has noticed strange things going on at Takajema. Binghamton wants McHale to take him there. The Japanese want to inspect the island as well. McHale tries to alert the men and women when they get close to the island. When Binghamton and McHale get to the party house, the nurses have made it look like a base hospital. Binghamton does not fall for it and tells McHale he is looking at a court martial. The Japanese start firing on the island. The Japanese boat winds up getting captured. McHale dodges a court martial and Binghamton gets a commendation. Barbara Lyon as 1st Nurse. Rollin Moriyama as Japanese Officer. Note: This is the last episode to bear "SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC 1943" billing in the opening scene. Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 10 | 10 | "The Battle of McHale's Island" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | December 20, 1962 | |
Gruber is trying to sell some Japanese war souvenirs. At a meeting with other officers, McHale and Parker learn that Binghamton wants to build a new Officer's Club. Binghamton also announces it will be built on McHale's island. McHale tells his men they are not giving up the island without a fight. The crew sabotages the building materials and the building plans. But things backfire when Binghamton says, that until new building supplies arrive, he will just take over McHale's living quarters. McHale gets back at Binghamton by having his crew move to the main base. Binghamton tries to talk McHale out of it, but it does not work. But with McHale's crew on the base, Binghamton cannot enjoy the Officer's Club. He is always thinking McHale is up to something on the base. Binghamton believes that McHale is having a wild party with the nurses and heads back to the main base. Binghamton is not able to catch them in the act. The next day, Binghamton learns that Admiral Reynolds is coming by. Binghamton will send McHale out on a mission. That night, Binghamton is entertaining Reynolds at the Officer's Club. With the help of Gruber's war souvenirs, McHale comes up with a plan to have Reynolds insist that McHale and his men return to the island. Clay Tanner as Marine Guard. | ||||||
| 11 | 11 | "The Day They Captured Santa Claus" | Sidney Lanfield | Larry Markes & Michael Morris | December 27, 1962 | |
Pamela Parfrey (Anna Lee), head of a local orphanage, tells the children that Santa Claus will definitely come this Christmas. McHale, who will play Santa, and the men are wrapping presents for the children. Gruber steals some turkeys from Binghamton. Barney Skyler, from the United Press, comes to see Binghamton. Skyler goes with Binghamton to get the turkeys back. They arrive on McHale's island to find all the men dress up in costumes. Parker tells them about the orphanage and Skyler says that would make a good story. Now Binghamton wants to go along. Pamela learns that some Japanese landed on the other side of the island. McHale and Tinker, who arrived first, are captured. McHale tries to bluff Major Simuru (Yuki Shimoda) into thinking his men walked into a trap. PT73 arrives with the other men and they are captured. Meanwhile, Pamela and a British Commander (Noel Drayton) are heading to the island. The British ship fires on the island and the Japanese surrender. The orphans are able to celebrate Christmas. Cherylene Lee as Tani, one of the orphans. | ||||||
| 12 | 12 | "Beauty and the Beast" | Sidney Lanfield | Tom Waldman & Frank Waldman | January 3, 1963 | |
Binghamton tells McHale, Parker and Carpenter, that a war correspondent is coming to the base to do a story on PT boats. Neither McHale nor Carpenter are interested in picking up the correspondent until they learn it is a woman. Binghamton will inspect the boats and whose ever is cleaner will host Patricia Brent. McHale has met her before. Meanwhile, Gruber meets Carol Kimberly (Ann McCrea), who is there to pick up film for the trip aboard the PT boat. Gruber thinks that she is Patricia Brent. Back on McHale's island, Gruber tells the men how beautful Patricia is. They get to work cleaning the boat for the inspection. McHale knows what Patricia looks like and tells the men to stop cleaning the boat. Gruber decides to mess up Carpenter's boat. When the real Patricia Brent is assigned to the 73 crew, they find her to be a foul mouth, unattractive woman. Patricia is a constant pain for everyone. McHale and the boys must work up a plan to get rid of her. McHale's plan to have Carpenter think that Carol is Patricia fails. When she realizes McHale is trying to get rid of her, Patricia tells him she will be on his boat for two weeks, not one. The men are excited when Carol has to fill in for Patricia, who became sick. Daria Massey as Lalanai. | ||||||
| 13 | 13 | "The Captain's Mission" | Sidney Lanfield | Jerry Davis and Danny Simon | January 10, 1963 | |
McHale comes back from an absence and Binghamton tells him that he took out the 73 on a mission. McHale gets back to his island and Parker tells him what happened. Flashback to Binghamton is with some other officers at the Officer's Club. Many of the men have war stories to tell. Binghamton feels bad that he has a desk job and he would like a war story to share with his battle-hardened fellow officers. With McHale in New Caledonia, Binghamton decides to take the 73 crew out for some action. On the first trip out, Binghamton makes a mess of things. Dreading another trip with Binghamton, the guys suggest that they fabricate some action for him. The men want to use Fuji as a Japanese scout that Binghamton can fight with. But, Fuji does not make it onto the boat so they dress up Tinker as a Japanese soldier. On the boat, the men make up a note about the Japanese being on a nearby island. They put Tinker on a raft so he can get to the island. Tinker winds up in a real Japanese scout group. When the Japanese discover Tinker is not one of them, he goes running off. Tinker is able to warn his crew and they get back on the boat. They see the ship that the Japanese arrived on. Binghamton orders a torpedo to be fired. It winds up going on shore and hitting a truck. Binghamton exaggerates his story to the other officers. Frank Gerstle as Capt. Dawson. Walter Brooke as Capt. Burns. Mako as Japanese Soldier. Mark Tapscott as Capt. Adams | ||||||
| 14 | 14 | "Send Us a Hero" | Sidney Lanfield | Larry Markes & Michael Morris | January 17, 1963 | |
McHale has his arm in a sling because he hurt it playing volleyball. Binghamton tells McHale that Congresswoman Clara Carter Clark (Jean Willes) will be visiting the base. She is coming with the hope of finding a regular GI to help sell war bonds in the States. Binghamton wants McHale to stay out of sight until she leaves. Gruber tells the men that the person that the Congresswoman picks usually gets to take his crew with them. Parker and the crew scheme to get McHale chosen for the war bond tour. Clara arrives and the crew start to talk him up. Clara hears the men singing about McHale. Though Binghamton tries to talk her out of it, Clara insists on meeting McHale. McHale tries to down play the crew's claims of his greatness. Clara spends some time with McHale and he does get picked. McHale only went along with it because he wanted the crew to have time off in the states. But when they find out that they will not be included, they cook up another plan to get McHale off the hook. The plan does not work and Ms. Clark still insists on McHale going. That is, until she finds a certain other Commander that comes from her state of Massachusetts (implied to be John F. Kennedy). | ||||||
| 15 | 15 | "The Captain Steals a Cook" | Oscar Rudolph | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | January 24, 1963 | |
Gruber has been selling Fuji's Polynesian dishes to the Taratupa personnel. McHale returns from New Caledonia, learns what Gruber is up to and tells him to stop. Carpenter has one of the meals and tries to hide it from Binghamton. Binghamton finds it and loves the delicious food. Carpenter suggests that Binghamton gets McHale's cook to prepare a meal for visiting Admiral Striker (Frank Ferguson). McHale sends Tinker hoping that he will make a bad enough meal that Binghamton will send him back. Binghamton eats the horrible meal. He thinks McHale just had Tinker make it bad this time. Binghamton tells McHale that Tinker better make his good meals when Striker arrives. McHale decides to have Fuji make the meal and they will just ferry it over. Striker arrives and tells Binghamton that he has been put on a strict low calorie diet. Carpenter tells Tinker to make a different meal. Tinker is able to signal McHale that he needs another meal. A Commander (Paul Smith) and his Ensign (Jerry Dexter) are on their boat and also see the signal. They think it is some Japanese code and send a warning to Taratupa. McHale manages to get the meal there. McHale comes up with an explanation for the confusion and Striker is impressed. Clay Tanner as The Marine. | ||||||
| 16 | 16 | "The Ensign Gets a Zero" | Edward J. Montagne | S : Tim Conway & Gary Vinson; T : Walter Kempley | January 31, 1963 | |
Ensign Parker is doing gunnery training, but he cannot hit the broad side of a barn. McHale is worried that if Binghamton finds out, he will get rid of Parker. After a hint from McHale, Gruber does not just give him a passing score, he gives Parker the best score on the base. When rough mouth Captain Kittridge (Don "Red" Barry) comes onto the base, he brags about the men on his boat. Binghamton now bets Kittridge his sea clock that Parker can shoot better than any of his men. The men are talking about the match and Virgil offers to stand in for Parker. McHale decides to hide Virgil in the brush and do the shooting, while Parker is also shooting. It is the day of the contest and Kittridge comes by with his man, Ensign Dennison (Edward Mallory). Gruber makes some bets with Kittridge's men. Dennison shoots first and does really well. Two of Kittridge's men find Virgil and stop him from shooting. Parker winds up hitting the plane that was pulling the target. Parker loses and Binghamton is furious. Kittridge's men come to collect from Gruber for the bet. McHale comes up with a plan to save Parker from being shipped out. Binghamton goes with the 73 to take Parker to another ship. McHale and the men get Binghamton to believe that Parker saved him from an enemy attack. Patrick Waltz as 1st Sailor. Don Kennedy as 2nd Sailor. | ||||||
| 17 | 17 | "The Big Raffle" | Edward J. Montagne | Marty Roth | February 7, 1963 | |
The crew rescue two French nationals, Mr. Gerard (Marcel Hillaire) and his beautiful young daughter Yvette Gerard (Claudine Longet), off an island that the Japanese have occupied. Parker tries to show off for Yvette and takes the wheel of the boat, despite not knowing what he is doing. The boat crashes into the pier at Taratupa. Binghamton tells Parker and the men to stay away from Yvette. Christy gets a letter from his wife saying she is going to have a baby. The guys want to raise money for the baby. Gruber comes up with the idea to hold a raffle The winner is going to get a nice dinner and a date with Yvette. Parker nervously asks Yvette if she will do it and she agrees. They have to keep it a secret from Binghamton. The crew have no trouble selling tickets and raise a large amount of money. It is time to draw the winner and Gruber is about to do it. A Marine Sergeant (Read Morgan) does not trust Gruber and says he will pick the winning ticket. The winning ticket number is 867. Parker goes to pick up Yvette. She says she cannot go as her father and Binghamton are taking her out to dinner. Yvette tells Binghamton she has a headache and cannot go. Binghamton finds out about the raffle and wants to shut the whole thing down. But then he finds out Admiral Reynolds has the winning ticket. Sally Mansfield as a nurse. Note: This is the smallest episode appearance of Commander McHale as he only appears in the very first and the very last scene for only about a minute total. | ||||||
| 18 | 18 | "One of Our Engines Is Missing" | Oscar Rudolph | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | February 14, 1963 | |
The engines of the 73 break down in the middle of a mission. McHale complains that ship has needed an overhaul for a long time. Meanwhile, Binghamton is in trouble with the Admiral because of something Binghamton believes McHale did. Binghamton would love to find a way to ship McHale and his crew out of Taratupa. When he learns about the 73's engine problem, he tells McHale he will get the boat decommissioned and split up the crew. McHale's crew is not going down without a fight when suddenly electrical parts from all over the base come up missing. But Tinker still cannot get the engine running. The men see a new boat arriving and thinks it will be theirs. Binghamton says it is his boat. Capt. Evans (Ted Knight), the inspector, is set to arrive at the base the next day. Binghamton puts McHale's crew into the brig. The crew dress Fuji up as Tinker. McHale and Parker will spend the night with Binghamton on his new boat. In the morning the 73 will be inspected. Capt. Evans arrives during the night. In the morning the 73 runs perfectly. Binghamton's boat runs fine also. Tinker tells McHale he got the parts from Evans' boat. Eddie Quillan as Sailor. | ||||||
| 19 | 19 | "The Natives Get Restless" | Norman Abbott | Bob Marcus | February 21, 1963 | |
McHale's men are having some fun with the Native women when Binghamton arrives. Binghamton angers Chief Watara (Leon Lontoc) and the islanders when he orders the entire base not to have anything to do with them. McHale tries to explain to Binghamton that the Natives rely on them for income. Binghamton tells McHale that J. Pettibone, the Under Secretary of the Navy, will be arriving next Saturday for an inspection. Binghamton says that McHale's men better not mess anything up. The men bring their laundry to Watara's women. Little Flower (Peggy Mondo), Watara's daughter, has a crush on Parker. The Chief now thinks the two are engaged. McHale tells Parker to just play along until after the inspection. Binghamton learns that Pettibone is not just coming for an inspection, he is also checking on Native / Navy relations. Little Flower comes to see Parker and then Binghamton shows up. Binghamton makes amends with the Natives in order to make a good impression with the Secretary. But Parker runs off on Little Flower angering the Chief again. McHale now hears War Drums. Pettibone arrives. Binghamton tells McHale to straighten things out. Watara and his men land at Taratupa with War paint on. Pettibone is concerned that they do not look friendly. They get friendly when Little Flower picks Binghamton to be engaged to. McHale finds a way to work things out. | ||||||
| 20 | 20 | "The Confidence Game" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | February 28, 1963 | |
Parker thinks he is not getting any respect from the crew. He asks McHale for a transfer. McHale thinks Parker is just suffering from low self-esteem. McHale tells Parker to be more assertive. McHale gets the men to jump when Parker gives an order. Binghamton tells McHale that the Admiral wants his crew to test some new torpedoes. Parker feels bad again when he causes Binghamton to fall in the water. McHale fakes a sickness in order for Parker to be in charge of the torpedo mission. But things go wrong while trying to fire the torpedo and the crew have to abandon the boat. Binghamton gets upset when he learns from McHale that Parker is leading the mission. Meanwhile, the crew are captured by the Japanese. Back on the island, McHale sees the 73 approaching unmanned. He and Willy get to the boat and go searching for the crew. The Japanese Lieutenant (Dale Ishimoto) gets frustrated questioning Parker and will send the crew to a prisoner of war camp. McHale and Willy manage to capture the Japanese boat that had Parker and the men on it. McHale finds a way to get Parker's confidence back and they make the Japanese their prisoners. Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 21 | 21 | "Six Pounds from Paradise" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | March 7, 1963 | |
Binghamton complains to Carpenter that McHale is driving him crazy. Binghamton learns that a new Navy directive states that all overweight combat officers are to be shipped out. A sneaky Binghamton tells McHale that he wants to be friends with him. Binghamton has a week to see that McHale puts on an extra 6 pounds, enough to put him over the limit. Binghamton invites McHale out for beers. He makes sure that McHale's men have extra food rations. Binghamton treats McHale to large lunches. The week is almost over and Binghamton throws a dinner party for McHale. Nurse Molly mentions the special physical the next morning. McHale now realizes what Binghamton was up to. McHale is 5 pounds overweight. Gruber suggests that Virgil fill in for McHale at the physical. Parker gets Binghamton to believe that McHale is hiding somewhere on his island in order to avoid the physical. The crew manage to strand Binghamton and Carpenter on McHale's island. McHale gets Molly to go along with the plan. The Chief Medical Officer (Tom Brown) examines Virgil after being told by Molly that he is McHale. Binghamton is told that McHale passed. The Chief Medical Officer tells Binghamton that he needs to lose some weight. | ||||||
| 22 | 22 | "Washing Machine Charlie" | Oscar Rudolph | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | March 14, 1963 | |
Taratupa has been attacked daily by a Japanese pilot known as "Washing Machine Charlie". Binghamton tells McHale that Admiral Reynolds has cancelled all leave until Charlie is found. McHale's men were just about to start their leave and were looking forward to it. Gruber has a Japanese airplane wing tip he wants to sell while on leave. McHale tells the men leave has been postponed. The 73 searches several islands, but does not find Charlie. The crew come up with a plan to make it look as though they had shot Charlie down and use the wing tip as proof. Binghamton gives them their leave. McHale learns about the fraud. Binghamton finds out as well when he learns the wing tip was from a Navy plane. McHale has an island he wants to check out before the Admiral arrives. On the island, McHale and Parker start searching. The rest of the crew gets captured by the Japanese. McHale is able to capture Charlie. Parker dresses up as Charlie and goes to free the crew. Some other Japanese think he is Charlie and put him in Charlie's plane. McHale frees his crew and captures the other Japanese. Parker goes flying off. Parker parachutes out of the plane while over Taratupa. Mike Farrell as Gunner. | ||||||
| 23 | 23 | "Nippon Nancy Calling" | Sidney Lanfield | Danny Arnold | March 21, 1963 | |
The 73 crew is listening to Nippon Nancy (voiced by Julie Bennett) on the radio. Among other things, she reveals some personal information about Binghamton. At an officer's meeting, Binghamton says that Admiral Reynolds is upset about Nippon Nancy. Binghamton suspects someone on the base is consorting with the enemy. He tells the officers to find the leak. Binghamton hints to McHale that maybe the leak is one of his men. The crew dismiss the idea that Fuji could be the spy. The next day Nippon Nancy talks about Binghamton's blood pressure. He realizes that he mentioned that to McHale the day before. Binghamton forces Parker to spy on McHale. McHale can tell something is going on and Parker confesses that Binghamton ordered him to spy on the crew. Binghamton comes to McHale's island and sees him talking to Fuji. Parker tells them what happened and they hide Fuji. Binghamton comes back with some Marines to arrest the crew. But before he can do that, Carpenter arrives to arrest Binghamton. Carpenter tells McHale that the Japanese espionage ring was broken up in San Diego. They were working out of a Japanese restaurant that Mrs. Binghamton frequented. Admiral Reynolds does clear Binghamton. McHale makes Binghamton believe he did not really see Fuji. | ||||||
| 24 | 24 | "One Enchanted Weekend" | Edward J. Montagne | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | March 28, 1963 | |
Parker has been invited to Emile Gerard's island plantation. He would like to spend some time with Gerard's daughter Yvette. Binghamton turns down Parker's request for three days leave. With Binghamton off the base, McHale comes up with a plan to get Parker to Gerard's island. McHale does this under the guise of Parker setting up an observation post there. Parker is at Gerard's house and he sees a Japanese landing party hit the beach. Yvette suggests they dress Parker up as a Frenchman. Capt. Uzaki (Mako) tells Gerard that he will use the house for a temporary radio-jamming operation. When McHale and the crew get back to base, Binghamton sends them back out to look for the Japanese radio-jammers. That night, Parker manages to covertly send McHale a message about the Japanese. The next morning, McHale and the crew arrive on the island and pose as Frenchmen. They are able to capture the Japanese and blow up their jamming station. Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 25 | 25 | "The Mothers of PT 73" | Sidney Lanfield | Larry Markes & Michael Morris | April 4, 1963 | |
McHale's men are preparing for their first annual Gaming Festival. Meanwhile, Parker is officer of the day. He is playing around with Binghamton's dictating machine and leaves a message about Mother's Day. Capt. Bryce (Dan Frazer), from Navy Public Relations, is reading Binghamton's message. Somehow it is decided to try and have some mother's visit their Navy sons. Bryce arrives at Taratupa and tells Binghamton the Secretary of the Navy loved his idea. Binghamton has no idea what he is talking about. Bryce mentions he could only get three mothers. Binghamton arrives on McHale's island with Mrs. Parker, Mrs. Gruber (Naomi Stevens) and Mrs. Bell (Cheerio Meredith). The men hide all the gambling equipment. In a few hours all the navy men will show up for the gambling. McHale comes up with a plan to take the mothers on a sightseeing trip on the 73 while the gambling is going on. But there is a mix-up when the mothers see some native women who will be dancing later. Binghamton finds out about the gambling night and takes Bryce to McHale's island. But all they find are the mothers playing bingo with the men and entertaining them. Bryce commends McHale. | ||||||
| 26 | 26 | "HMS 73" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | April 11, 1963 | |
Admiral Reynolds calls Binghamton and tells him that Admiral Percy Campbell (Ben Wright) will be arriving at Taratupa. Binghamton is to provide him with an officer for the permanent position of Liaison Officer at British Fleet HQ in Australia. Binghamton decides to get rid of McHale. He wants to trick McHale's crew into believing that the British want a whole crew for a month's duty in Australia. The crew convince McHale to try and get the assignment. Lt. Commander Forbes (Noel Drayton) arrives on McHale's island and the men do all they can to impress him. Forbes agrees to take McHale. The crew then find out that they will not be going along and that McHale will gone permanently. McHale first tries to act drunk and obnoxious, but it does not work. The next day, McHale says goodbye to his men and leaves. McHale is in Binghamton's office when Parker arrives dressed as a British Admiral. Parker convinces Binghamton that McHale would not be right for the job. Admiral Campbell then arrives and pretends to know Parker. When they are out of Binghamton's office, Campbell says the masquerade was not necessary. Campbell says that Admiral Reynolds requested that McHale stay with his men. James Forrest as Lt. Crandall. Diana Darrin as Sally. | ||||||
| 27 | 27 | "A Wreath for McHale" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | April 18, 1963 | |
McHale and his crew have just come back from a mission and Binghamton wants to send them right back out on another. Carpenter comes in the office and says that war correspondent Brad Devery (Allan Melvin) has been shown his quarters. McHale figures out that is why Binghamton wanted them gone. McHale tells his men that they will go to a pleasure island instead. Meanwhile, Devery tells Binghamton he wanted to get a story about McHale. Just then, Carpenter says the area that McHale was going to is under heavy Japanese attack. When they cannot make contact with the 73, McHale and his crew are presumed killed in action. Wanting to be in Devery's story, Binghamton plays the part of the grieving commanding officer. McHale and the crew get to their island and see Binghamton holding a memorial service for them. Binghamton learns the crew is alive and went to another island. He wants to court-martial them. To have the charges dropped and have Binghamton save face with Devery, they come up with a plan to have Binghamton rescue the 73. Things do not go as planned when Binghamton, Devery and Carpenter are captured by the Japanese. McHale and crew must now rescue them. Devery has his story about McHale. John Fujioka as Japanese Officer. | ||||||
| 28 | 28 | "Portrait of a Peerless Leader" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | April 25, 1963 | |
The crew is throwing a birthday party for McHale with some of the nurses and native girls. Binghamton comes by and wants to know why he was not invited. McHale is suspicious. Binghamton says that he is up for a promotion and transfer. The Navy is sending personnel officer Captain Wilson (Herb Vigran) to appraise Binghamton. Binghamton would like McHale and the crew to be on their best behavior. Binghamton and Carpenter join the party. Afterwards, Binghamton tells Carpenter that Wilson is actually coming to appraise McHale. McHale's men do what they can to make the island very Navy. Wilson arrives and inspects McHale's crew and boat. McHale really talks up Binghamton. Later, Wilson has a drink with McHale at the Officers Club. Wilson lets it slip that McHale is up for a States side job as instructor at a PT training school. McHale learns it was Binghamton's idea. The next day while on a reconnaissance mission, McHale and crew make themselves look completely incompetent. But then a real enemy sub is spotted and the crew sinks it. Wilson tells Binghamton that McHale is more useful leading his crew than being an instructor. | ||||||
| 29 | 29 | "Instant Democracy" | Oscar Rudolph | Howard Leeds | May 2, 1963 | |
Binghamton catches Gruber making a trade with Chief Urulu which would give Urulu an old Navy jeep. Binghamton arrests McHale's crew and wants to court martial McHale and Parker. Urulu is upset with Binghamton for ruining the deal. Admiral Reynolds calls Binghamton and tells him that he needs to modify the Taratupa airstrip. And he only has a few days to do it. Reynolds tells Binghamton to get Chief Urulu and his tribe to help. Binghamton now needs McHale's help to make amends with Urulu. McHale gets Urulu to agree to talk to Binghamton. But after some lessons on democracy from McHale and Parker, Urulu makes a lot of outlandish demands for the services of his tribe. The tribe starts to work. When Binghamton refuses another of Urulu's demands, Urulu puts his tribe on strike. In an attempt to end Urulu's demands, McHale runs an election between Urulu and Maloko (Olan Soule) for president of the tribe. Maloko wins, but it does not wind up helping much. Maloko makes Urulu the Secretary of Labor. | ||||||
| 30 | 30 | "Camera, Action, Panic" | Sidney Lanfield | Martin Roth | May 9, 1963 | |
Gruber is trying to make money by taking pictures of the sailors. Binghamton introduces combat photographer Mike Sweeney (Artie Johnson) to McHale and Parker. Apparently some at the Pentagon are questioning the value of PT boats in the war effort. Admiral Reynolds wants to prove them wrong and Sweeney is to get some footage of the crew in action. Sweeney has made some mistakes while filming before and Binghamton wants him to be careful. Gruber hopes to use Sweeney's movie camera to make money. Gruber has Tinker take Sweeney on a tour of the island. Gruber then sets up "Gruber's Home Movies". The crew go out on a mission to track down a Japanese PT boat. Sweeney is having a hard time filming and the crew is more interested in posing than fighting. The crew does manage to sink the Japanese boat. While previewing the film, many of Gruber's scenes are in it. McHale and the men decide to stage the sinking of the Japanese boat and refilm it. They make the 73 look Japanese and the crew wear Japanese uniforms. They are out on the open water and a US plane starts firing on them. Sweeney isn't able to film anything. The 73 has engine trouble and a Japanese sub arrives. The sub believes they are Japanese and leaves them alone. Sweeney does get footage of the 73 sinking the sub. Admiral Reynolds is very pleased with the film. | ||||||
| 31 | 31 | "Alias Captain Binghamton" | Sidney Lanfield | Bob Fisher & Arthur Marx | May 16, 1963 | |
Gruber and the men are selling moonshine in hair tonic bottles. McHale tells the men that Binghamton is sending another man to join the 73 crew. The men think it is a spy for Binghamton. Seaman Smoot (Joe Flynn in a dual role) arrives and he's the spitting image of Binghamton. Meanwhile, Binghamton tells Carpenter a photographer is coming to takes pictures of the base. Binghamton wants to keep him away from McHale's island. Binghamton opens a bottle of hair tonic and realizes it is alcohol. Hoping to frighten Smoot, the men dress as cannibals. Wanting to find McHale's still, Binghamton arrives on the island dressed as one of McHale's men. The men think Binghamton is Smoot and grab him. When McHale sees Smoot, he realizes his men have Binghamton. McHale frees Binghamton, who says McHale is looking at a court martial. The next day, Don Taggart (John Rodney), the magazine photographer, arrives. McHale has Smoot impersonate Binghamton and cancel the court martial. Things get very confusing with two Binghamtons on the base. Binghamton gets knocked unconscious by a coconut. Smoot winds up getting drunk at the Officers Club and is chasing Lt. Lovett (Sally Mansfield) around. With the help of pictures of drunken Smoot, McHale gets Binghamton to tear up the court martial orders. | ||||||
| 32 | 32 | "Parents Anonymous" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | May 23, 1963 | |
McHale and the crew come back from a three day mission to find things missing. They then see a little Japanese girl. They learn her name is Kim Su (Cherylene Lee) and she is an orphan. She was on a hospital ship that stopped there briefly while on its way to an orphanage in New Caledonia. The men talk McHale into letting Kim Su stay with them. They set up a room for her. Kim Su does put a trimp in the guys night time activities. Binghamton wonders why it is so quiet on McHale's island. Commander Carmichael and Lieutenant Plowright, two psychiatrists, arrive on Taratupa. They are there to check for men with "battle fatigue", who may need to be transferred out. Binghamton takes them to McHale's island, but everything is normal there. Carmichael and Plowright start to wonder about Binghamton. The next day, McHale thinks they need to find Kim Sue a home. Carmichael and Plowright return to the island and find Parker with a doll. They then find Kim Sue's room and think it is Parker's. Binghamton is thrilled when they put in a transfer for Parker. When Binghamton hears that a little girl is missing from the hospital boat, he believes McHale and crew kidnapped her. McHale finds a couple to adopt Kim Su, but Binghamton wants to send her back to the hospital ship. The psychiatrists help McHale change Binghamton's mind. Song: The crew of the 73 perform "Pretty Baby". | ||||||
| 33 | 33 | "McHale's Millions" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | May 30, 1963 | |
Gruber and the guys are trying to make a deal with Chief Urulu for some native trinkets. The deal doesn't happen because Urulu raises his demands. McHale tells the men they are to investigate the crash site of a Japanese transport plane. McHale and the crew recover four million dollars in American cash at the site. The guys are thrilled, but McHale thinks it is counterfeit. He wants to bring it to Binghamton. Binghamton and McHale learn from Admiral Druten (Tyler McVey) that the money is real. It was stolen by the Japanese from a bank in the Philippines. Before McHale can get back to his island, Gruber trades the money to Chief Urulu for the trinkets. McHale tells them the money is real. They have to give Binghamton something else until they can get the money back. When the men get to Urulu, the Witch Doctor (Carleton Carpenter) is burning some of the money to appease the earthquake god. Gruber challenges Urulu to a winner-take-all poker game to get it back. But, Urulu insists on playing Parker, who is a lousy poker player. After discovering there is no money in the crates he was given, Binghamton comes to arrest McHale and the men. McHale reminds Binghamton that he signed a receipt for the money. With the help of a real earthquake and some luck, Parker actually wins the money back. | ||||||
| 34 | 34 | "The Hillbillies of PT 73" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | June 6, 1963 | |
Willy, the PT-73 Radioman, is depressed because he hasn't gotten a letter from his Tennessee girlfriend Effie May in three weeks. Willy finally gets a letter from her, but it says she married another man. Meanwhile, Binghamton tells his officers that they will be visited by Congressman Carl Joymer (Don Harvey), from the Naval Appropriations Committee. Captain Dryden (Henry Hunter) calls Binghamton about a message he got where every other word is Effie May. Binghamton threatens to ship out Willy. The crew suggests McHale get a hold of Admiral Reynolds to prevent Willy from being shipped out. Binghamton tells McHale that Reynolds is sending a Communications Officer to test Willy. McHale and Parker meet a new nurse, Cindy Bates, who is from the South. They want her to cheer up Willy. But meeting Cindy doesn't make Willy feel any better. So McHale and the crew throw a big "Hillbilly Hoe-down" to cheer up their heartbroken friend. They get Cindy, Molly and the other nurses to dress country style. Dryden and Joymer arrive ahead of schedule and go to McHale's island. Binghamton tries to stop them from seeing the Hoe-Down. Turns out Joymer is also from Tennessee and he makes sure that Willy isn't shipped out. | ||||||
| 35 | 35 | "The Monster of McHale's Island" | Oscar Rudolph | S : Robert Kaufman; S/T : William Raynor & Myles Wilder | June 13, 1963 | |
Admiral Hanson's son Bruce was being sent back to the states. But the plane had a problem and had to land on Taratupa. Bruce finds Binghamton and Carpenter in violation of some Navy regulations and writes them down for a report to his father. As it will be several days before the plane is repaired, Binghamton decides to send Bruce to McHale's island. Meanwhile, McHale finds the men with a lot of moonshine that they were going to sell to the Marines. Bruce arrives and immediately starts writing down violations. McHale hopes to scare Bruce off the island by pretending that the natives are attacking. The plan doesn't work. The men get an alert about a Japanese submarine in the area. Bruce sneaks onto the 73. The crew locate the sub and then discover Bruce. McHale wants to head back and Bruce says that's running from the enemy. Admiral Hanson arrives on Taratupa to pick up Bruce. Bruce breaks radio silence and Hanson and Binghamton learn he's on the 73. This also gives the 73's location to the enemy. They do manage to sink the sub. McHale has had enough of Bruce and gives him a spanking. Later, Hanson actually thanks McHale for disciplining Bruce. | ||||||
| 36 | 36 | "Uncle Admiral" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | June 27, 1963 | |
Carpenter tells Binghamton that Vice Admiral Tim Parker (Harry Von Zell) will be arriving the next day. Carpenter mentions that Tim is on the Promotions Board. Binghamton learns that Tim is Ensign Parker's uncle. Binghamton makes Parker his personal aide, in the hope of impressing Tim. The 73 crew now think they can get away with anything they want. While on his plane, Tim tells Cmdr. Bill McIntyre (Harlan Warde) how inept his nephew is. Upon arriving, Tim is surprised that Parker is an aide. But Tim is uncomfortable with the fact that Parker is also a combat officer. Binghamton tells Parker to put in a good word for him to Tim. The 73 crew set up a casino in the air raid shelter. Tim is inspecting the base and finds the casino. He learns Parker's crew is running it. Tim wants Parker to pack his bags for a safer position in the States. McHale comes back from New Caledonia and learns what happened to Parker. There is an air raid and McHale and the men go rescue Parker, who is on a small boat coming back from McHale's island. Parker then shoots down the Japanese plane. Tim lets Parker stay when he sees that the 73 crew was willing to risk their lives for him. | ||||||
Changes: The opening theme song has been altered slightly, and Joe Flynn and Tim Conway are now billed in the opening credits.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 37 | 1 | "The Day the War Stood Still" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | September 17, 1963 | |
Binghamton receives a case of rare champagne and hopes to hide it from McHale and his men. However, it is not long before the men steal it. They want to celebrate the one year anniversary of Fuji being with them. Binghamton sends the 73 crew on a mission so he can search their island. While there, Binghamton captures Fuji and places him under arrest as a spy. McHale tries to convince Binghamton that Fuji is just a fisherman who got lost. Binghamton will fly Fuji to Com Fleet for interrogation. McHale comes up with the idea to have the base think the war is over. Fuji will no longer need to be questioned. Parker does impersonations of several world leaders over the radio saying the war is over. The plan works and crew free Fuji from the jail cell. While everyone is celebrating, Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts) makes a surprise visit to the base. Rogers learns about the hoax and wants McHale to explain. Rogers then sees a Japanese super PT boat coming up to the dock to surrender. McHale pretends that was the plan all along and Rogers commends him. John Fujioka as Japanese Captain. Clay Tanner as 1st Marine Guard. | ||||||
| 38 | 2 | "The Binghamton Murder Plot" | Sidney Lanfield | Story by : David Levinson Teleplay by : Bob Fisher & Arthur Marx | September 24, 1963 | |
McHale and the men are being bothered by an annoying bird and its calls. Binghamton comes to the island and is not happy with the men being out of uniform. He gives them several rough punishments. Binghamton tells McHale that Admiral Tucker (Paul Bryar) is coming next week for fitness inspections. Binghamton needs his report to be exceptional. At the Officers Club, Capt. Harper (Walter Brooke) and Cmdr. Ellis (Mark Tapscott) warn Binghamton about being too harsh on his men. Binghamton overhears Gruber and Tinker talking about killing the bird and he thinks they are talking about him. At McHale's island, the men are shooting and throwing grenades at the bird. Binghamton arrives and thinks they are shooting at him. He now lives in fear. McHale wants to give Binghamton a surprise birthday party to try and get on his good side again. Nurse Molly Turner and Cmdr. Susan Lorimer get Binghamton to go to a nurses picnic. While on the boat, Binghamton realizes they are headed to McHale's island. He wrestles with Susan and jumps out. Tucker and Cmdr. Carter (Paul Smith) are approaching on their boat and see this. They think there is something wrong with Binghamton. McHale and the men finally get Binghamton to the party. Binghamton then learns that the crew was actually trying to kill a bird. Binghamton does wind up getting a good report from Tucker. Clay Tanner as Sentry. Song: PT73 crew sing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow". | ||||||
| 39 | 3 | "McHale and His Schweinhunds" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | October 1, 1963 | |
Parker is upset because he let a Japanese patrol boat get away. Binghamton accuses Parker of cowardice. Parker feels better after a pep talk from McHale. McHale has Parker take the 73 out to check an engine. They spot a German U-Boat, but because of Parker's bad judgement, they are unable to sink it. Parker tells Binghamton about the German boat, but he doesn't believe it. Admiral Reynolds (Herbert Lytton) calls Binghamton and confirms what Parker saw. Binghamton goes with the 73 to search for the boat. They get to an island and Binghamton and Carter capture two Germans. They then spot Japanese unloading a boat. Carter pretends to be a German officer and Binghamton a prisoner. Parker learns from Lt. Yamasake (Mako) that the Japanese are to make contact with the U-Boat. McHale and the men arrive and are able to have explosives loaded on the U-Boat. | ||||||
| 40 | 4 | "Is There a Doctor in the Hut?" | Sidney Lanfield | S : Si Rose; S/T : William Raynor & Myles Wilder | October 8, 1963 | |
McHale and the crew devise a plan, potentially beneficial to both them and Captain Binghamton, to have popular movie star Rita Howard (Lisa Seagram) put on a show on Taratupa for Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts). First, however, they must scheme to get the star's stubborn tour manager, Colonel Pryor (Bernie Kopell), out of the way. The scheme will involve having Ensign Parker dress up like a medical doctor to distract Pryor from stopping the show. Just when Pryor is about to unravel the boys plan, Admiral Rogers comes to the rescue. | ||||||
| 41 | 5 | "To Binghamton with Love" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth and Danny Simon | October 15, 1963 | |
In an attempt to impress Admiral Bensen (Bill Quinn), Binghamton drops some serious charges against the 73 crew, in return for a show of their "high esteem" for their commander in the form of a testimonial dinner. Knowing that no one will attend the dinner willingly, McHale and the boys plan to combine the dinner with a big crap game, in order to have a showing for the most hated commanding officer in the Pacific. | ||||||
| 42 | 6 | "Have Kimono, Will Travel" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | October 22, 1963 | |
McHale and the boys have planned some entertainment for the base personnel, but Binghamton puts a stop to it and orders McHale and his crew to ferry him to a staff meeting, so that he can keep an eye on them. But, after the 73 is put out of commission by a Japanese plane, Binghamton is forced to do some entertaining of his own, during a mission to obtain some fuel on a Japanese-held island. Mako and Allen Jung appear as Japanese Soldiers. | ||||||
| 43 | 7 | "Today I Am a Man!" | Sidney Lanfield | S : Si Rose; S/T : Marty Roth | October 29, 1963 | |
While trying to impress a pretty nurse (Joyce Bulifant), Parker receives several serious blows to his morale and, humiliated, he puts in for a transfer. Then complications arise, when McHale, the crew, and the nurse work up a plan to try to help him to regain his self-esteem and change his mind. Rollin Moriyama appears as a Japanese Sentry. | ||||||
| 44 | 8 | "Jolly Wally" | Sidney Lanfield | Bob Fisher & Arthur Marx | November 5, 1963 | |
Binghamton finds out that Parker is an old friend of Whit Barrett (Peter Leeds), a famous war correspondent who is coming to the base. He makes Parker the Base PR Officer, in the hope of becoming the subject of Barrett's next story. Parker comes up with a nick-name for Binghamton in the form of 'Jolly Wally'. He tells Binghamton that the name will catch on and everyone will remember the brave Commander that laughed in the face of danger. But Parker's plan to improve the Captain's image backfires when he laughs at everything. Com-fleet sends Captain Saunders (Nelson Olmsted), a psychiatrist, down to the base to evaluate the mental capacity of Binghamton. | ||||||
| 45 | 9 | "Scuttlebutt" | Sidney Lanfield | Arnold Horwitt | November 12, 1963 | |
Gruber and the guys concoct a very tall story to try to turn Tinker into a hero, so that he can win the heart of his favorite girl, Nurse Betsy (Barbara Werle). But the rumor of Tinker's "secret mission" soon spreads throughout the South Pacific. Trouble develops when glory-hungry Binghamton tries to get in on the action. Binghamton orders McHale to deliver a refrigerator to a local Admiral on a nearby island. But, because of the rumor, the entire Japanese war machine believes the 73 is carrying a secret weapon. | ||||||
| 46 | 10 | "The August Teahouse of Quint McHale" | Sidney Lanfield | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | November 19, 1963 | |
Doc Whitmore (Nelson Olmsted) makes it clear to Binghamton that he needs some rest away from the island. Binghamton is convinced that McHale and the 73 crew are consorting with the enemy, and when he cannot get anyone to believe him, he calls for a Naval Intelligence team to search McHale's island for evidence. So, to get him to call off the search, McHale and the guys devise an elaborate scheme to make Binghamton think he is losing his mind. | ||||||
| 47 | 11 | "French Leave for McHale" | Sidney Lanfield | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | November 26, 1963 | |
While on an unauthorized liberty in New Caledonia, McHale and the crew are all thrown in jail for various reasons. McHale's old semi-friend, crooked Frenchman "Big Frenchy" (George Kennedy), steals the 73 to use for some crooked business. McHale and the crew must then scheme to get out of jail, find Frenchy, and get the 73 back before Binghamton returns from a staff meeting. And as an added plus the boys capture some Japanese soldiers. Benny Rubin appears as the French Police Chief. Dale Ishimoto appears as a Japanese Officer. Note: Bob Hastings (Lieutenant Carptener) does not appear in this episode. | ||||||
| 48 | 12 | "The Happy Sleepwalker" | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | December 3, 1963 | |
When Happy begins sleepwalking due to his insecurity with women, Binghamton orders him to be psychiatrically evaluated, and shipped out if found unfit for duty. With the help from the female nurses, and a hair piece, McHale hopes to show Happy that women are still attracted to him and stop his sleep-walking. But, they must first get around Binghamton's "No fraternization" rule. Sheila Kuehl appears as Lt. Nancy Culpepper. Jackie Searl appears as Sgt. Flynn. | ||||||
| 49 | 13 | "A Letter for Fuji" | Sidney Lanfield | Bill Persky & Sam Denoff | December 10, 1963 | |
The 73 crew's heartsick Japanese friend Fuji must get a letter to his best girl back home in Japan. But a secret mission to mail the letter from a Japanese-held island becomes complicated, when Fuji's letter gets mixed up in Binghamton's plan to distribute propaganda leaflets to the enemy. Only later does Binghamton learn the true words on the letter and he calls for intelligence to arrest McHale for treason. Capt. Martin (John Zaremba) from Com-Fleet comes by and congratulates McHale because many Japanese soldiers have surrendered because of the love letter. John Fujioka and Mako appear as Japanese soldiers. | ||||||
| 50 | 14 | "My Ensign, the Lawyer" | Sidney Lanfield | S : Si Rose; S/T : William Raynor & Myles Wilder | December 17, 1963 | |
Tinker is arrested for the theft of Binghamton's printing press, and the Captain taps Parker to be Tinker's defense counsel in a trial which Binghamton himself will preside over. Parker and McHale must then stall the proceedings, while Gruber and the crew execute a plan to get Tinker off the hook with a bit of creative evidence-tampering. | ||||||
| 51 | 15 | "Orange Blossoms for McHale" | Sidney Lanfield | Arnold Horwitt | December 24, 1963 | |
A new Navy directive, ordering all married officers to be shipped home, prompts Binghamton to scheme to get McHale married off to a shady saloon-keeper by the name of Kate O'Hara (Joyce Jameson), an old friend of McHale's. But neither Kate nor McHale want to tie the knot, so they join forces to try to thwart Binghamton's plan. Clay Tanner appears as a Marine Guard. | ||||||
| 52 | 16 | "The Creature from McHale's Lagoon" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | December 31, 1963 | |
Gruber and the guys try to make some money with some phony pearl oysters, but their scheme backfires when a greedy Binghamton takes over their operation. Then, when Chief Urulu muscles in on Binghamton's business, McHale and the crew put a stop to the whole operation, by taking advantage of an old native superstition and some Japanese technology. | ||||||
| 53 | 17 | "A Medal for Parker" | Sidney Lanfield | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | January 7, 1964 | |
Major complications develop when the guys send a chapter of Parker's war novel – including a highly fictionalized account of his sinking of the biggest battleship in the Japanese fleet – to Parker's hometown girlfriend, in an attempt to help him win her heart. After reading the article about the sinking, Congressman Fogelson (Herb Vigran) wants to come to Taratupa to give Parker a medal. A Japanese Officer (John Fujioka) also sees the article and sends the Yakamura to Taratupa. Bombers are able to sink the ship, so Parker turns out to be a hero anyway. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Elliot. | ||||||
| 54 | 18 | "The Balloon Goes Up" | Sidney Lanfield | Barry E. Blitzer & Ray Brenner | January 14, 1964 | |
Greedy Binghamton is offered a promotion and transfer up to Fleet HQ, but must first reconcile a shortage in the base's equipment inventory. McHale goes to Gruber, who claims that most of the stuff was traded to Chief Urulu. So, McHale pleads with the Chief to return the items so that Binghamton can be transferred. The Chief agrees to return the items but he forgets to tell McHale that one large item, a barrage balloon, was traded to the Japanese. McHale, with Urulu's help, is going to have to deal with the enemy. But with all the delays, Binghamton's transfer is cancelled. | ||||||
| 55 | 19 | "Who'll Buy My Sarongs?" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | January 21, 1964 | |
A business venture involving the manufacture and sale of sarongs to the base personnel has the guys divided into two separate quarreling groups. When the feud escalates, Binghamton tries to take advantage of its effect on them during a PT crew efficiency test, their failure of which would mean their being shipped out for re-assignment. Their test initially does not go well. But, they redeem themselves by sinking a Japanese sub. | ||||||
| 56 | 20 | "Evil-Eye Parker" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | January 28, 1964 | |
When Binghamton declines permission for McHale and the crew to put on a big show to raise funds for the local orphanage, Parker uses his newly acquired skill as a hypnotist to make the Captain more agreeable. But the scheme is complicated by the visit of Senator Block (Jim Boles) from the Armed Services Committee. In the end, the Senator enjoyed the show and commends Binghamton. | ||||||
| 57 | 21 | "The Great Impersonation" | Sidney Lanfield | Story by : William Raynor, Myles Wilder& Si Rose Teleplay by : William Raynor & Myles Wilder | February 4, 1964 | |
Parker, a dead ringer for an important British General (Tim Conway in a dual role), agrees to put his life on the line by posing as the General, to divert the attention of spies in New Caledonia while the real General carries out a crucial invasion of a Japanese-held island. The rest of the 73 crew come along to help protect Parker. Henry Corden and Susan Cummings appear as the spies. Walter Brooke appears as Capt. Harlow. Rolfe Sedan appears as The Mayor. | ||||||
| 58 | 22 | "Urulu's Paradise West" | Sidney Lanfield | Ray Brenner & Barry E. Blitzer | February 11, 1964 | |
Binghamton once again insults Chief Urulu. Binghamton is ordered to purchase one of Chief Urulu's islands for the construction of a radar station. Now Binghamton has to suck up to the Chief. But Urulu, knowing that he has got the Navy "over a barrel," inflates the price of his real estate to ridiculous levels. So McHale and the crew try to help the Captain out, with a scheme to devalue the Chief's land. But the plan backfires when oil is discovered on the small island and the Japanese attack. | ||||||
| 59 | 23 | "Dear Diary" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | February 18, 1964 | |
Binghamton gets hold of Parker's diary, which includes details of the crew's shady activities. The guys steal the diary from the Captain's safe. Binghamton then sets out to personally escort Parker to the Admiral to testify about the contents of the diary. But, after falling into enemy hands on the way and being rescued by the 73 crew, Binghamton changes his mind (after some gentle persuasion by McHale). Edward Mallory appears as The Co-Pilot. | ||||||
| 60 | 24 | "Babette Go Home" | Sidney Lanfield | Stan Dreben & Ralph Goodman | February 25, 1964 | |
McHale and the crew must scheme to stay out of trouble when the lovely daughter Babette (Susan Silo) of French businessman Charles Armand Bergerac (Jesse Jacobs) shows up on the 73, having stowed away during an unauthorized stop at New Caledonia. The US Navy is in negotiations to buy land for a supply post from Bergerac. Binghamton finds out about the girl on the base and is set to court-martial the 73 crew. Parker dresses up like Bergeac, and demands that his daughter is returned and the matter of the court-martial be ended. Problems arise when Admiral Rogers arrives with the real Bergeac. | ||||||
| 61 | 25 | "The Novocain Mutiny" | Sidney Lanfield | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | March 3, 1964 | |
Binghamton is informed that his sick bay is over-run with men faking an illness. He wants all the wards cleared out. Fuji has a bad toothache, and McHale and the crew must figure out a way to get him in to the dentist during an inspection tour by the Fleet Medical Officer, Admiral Harris (Paul Bryar). Parker poses as a patient and tries to get Fuji some medicine for the pain. When that does not work, they try to disguise Fuji and bring him in. In the end, both Binghamton and Fuji lose a tooth, but in different ways. Sandra Gould appears as a nurse. | ||||||
| 62 | 26 | "Stars Over Taratupa" | Sidney Lanfield | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | March 10, 1964 | |
Five-time Oscar-winning director John Burton (Robert F. Simon) comes to Taratupa to shoot a documentary on PT boats and their crews. Binghamton does all he can to make sure that he is the lead in the production. But, McHale and the crew successfully scheme to become the stars of the film. The crew of the 73 are excited about being in the picture but when Burton turns out to be a hard driven man the crew is all of a sudden not as happy as they thought they would be. When they find out that Fuji has sneaked into the production, they must re-shoot the movie themselves, with surprising results. | ||||||
| 63 | 27 | "Comrades of PT 73" | Sidney Lanfield | Arnold Horwitt | March 17, 1964 | |
A female Russian Naval officer named Commander Krasni (Sue Ane Langdon) reports to McHale for PT boat training. But soon she is disgusted with the 73 crew's lack of discipline, and asks to be assigned to another crew. When Binghamton finds out that the chosen crew will shipped out to Russia, he talks Commander Krasni into staying with McHale. McHale and the guys must then work up a plan to get out of the situation. Cliff Norton appears as Russian Admiral Gurevitch. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Farley. | ||||||
| 64 | 28 | "The Return of Big Frenchy" | Sidney Lanfield | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | March 24, 1964 | |
The French thief and con-artist first talks Binghamton out of a load of Navy supplies, then cons Parker into helping him get them to New Caledonia. Admiral Rogers comes by and warns Binghamton about a Frenchman stealing supplies. McHale and the guys must then follow Frenchy, rescue Parker, and recover the supplies. | ||||||
| 65 | 29 | "Alias PT 73" | Sidney Lanfield | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | March 31, 1964 | |
The base is being bothered by a Japanese fighter that they call 'Hit-and-Run Harry'. It seems that Harry is causing problems and even sunk PT boat 25 during one of his air-raids. After being restricted to their island by Binghamton, McHale and the guys mock up the damaged PT boat to look like the 73, so that they can sneak a load of building materials to a nearby island village, to help the natives rebuild after an air raid. But complications develop when Admiral Rogers visits Taratupa to investigate. Binghamton tells the Admiral that McHale and crew have deserted. When McHale manages to shoot down Harry, Admiral Rogers forgets about Binghamton's accusation. | ||||||
| 66 | 30 | "The Rage of Taratupa" | Sidney Lanfield | Bob Fisher & Arthur Marx | April 7, 1964 | |
While temporarily assigned to the 73 crew, a lazy, pampered rock-and-roll star named Harley Hatfield (Jesse Pearson) is captured by a Japanese patrol while out on maneuvers with Parker and the crew. With Harley singing, the Japanese are a captive audience, making it easy for McHale and the guys to take them prisoners. Meanwhile, Admiral Steinholtz (Willis Bouchey) is coming to see Harley perform. While McHale is coming back with Harley, Parker initially stands in for the singer to stall for time. | ||||||
| 67 | 31 | "Ensign Parker, E.S.P." | Sidney Lanfield | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | April 14, 1964 | |
To keep Parker from being shipped out, McHale and the crew try to help the Ensign raise a thousand bucks to replace a string of pearls – a gift for Binghamton's wife – that was destroyed as Parker tried to save the Captain from what he thought was an air raid. Virgil finds a treasure map and the boys hope to get enough money to help Parker. But the map leads them to under Binghamton's hut. The boys must find a way to convince Binghamton that they moved his hut to save his life. | ||||||
| 68 | 32 | "The McHale Mob" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | April 21, 1964 | |
Impressed by a gangster movie he has recently seen, Chief Urulu plays mob chieftain and refuses to sign the document allowing the Navy the use of McHale's island. So McHale and the crew, and even Binghamton, Carpenter, and Admiral Rogers, join forces and play their own mobster game, to try to make Urulu change his mind. Nestor Paiva appears as Big Louie, in the gangster film. | ||||||
| 69 | 33 | "Carpenter in Command" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ray Brenner & Barry E. Blitzer | April 28, 1964 | |
In temporary command of the base while Binghamton recovers from a broken leg, and drunk with power, Carpenter gets the goods on the crew and has them up for Court Martial on several serious charges. McHale comes up with a plan to make the injured Binghamton think that Carpenter is trying to get the Captain's job. Binghamton falls for the trap and now he thinks that Carpenter has called a meeting with the Admiral to discuss his retirement. In a fit of rage, Binghamton destroys all of Carpenter's evidence against the 73 crew. | ||||||
| 70 | 34 | "Marryin' Chuck" | Sidney Lanfield | Marty Roth | May 5, 1964 | |
Gruber and the guys pick up a few souvenirs during a mission, unaware that they are valuable items stolen by the Japanese during the battle of Manila. When one of the items – a priceless antique tea set – winds up as a wedding present for Admiral Hardesy's (John Zaremba) daughter, McHale and the crew must make a hasty trip to New Caledonia. There, Parker must play the part of the officiating Chaplain as part of a scheme to get it back. Parker actually performs the wedding. Chaplain Conklin saves the day by swapping out the tea set and officially marrying the couple later. Eleanor Audley appears as Mrs. Millicent Hardesy. | ||||||
| 71 | 35 | "The Dart Gun Wedding" | Norman Abbott | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | May 12, 1964 | |
Binghamton bows to pressure from Roger Whitfield III (George Furth), the snobbish, swinging-bachelor son of his former employer, in the hope of returning to his Stateside job after the war. Whitfield takes advantage of the situation and bosses Binghamton around like a servant. The entire situation comes to a head when Ensign Whitfield thinks about getting permanently transferred to Taratupa and having Parker shipped out. The Captain conspires with McHale and the 73 crew in a plan to get rid of him. They do this by pretending that Whitfield saves Little Flower's life and now has to marry her. | ||||||
| 72 | 36 | "A Da-Da for Christy" | Frank McDonald | Burt Styler & Albert E. Lewin | May 19, 1964 | |
Christy has a chance to hear his little girl call him Daddy, courtesy of a ham radio operator (Phil Arnold) in the States. When Binghamton denies the use of the base radio, McHale and the boys have to come up with a plan where they can get into the guarded radio hut to listen to the transmission. Things do not go as planned and Christy does not hear his daughter's words. With the Japaneses jamming the frequency there is little hope that the transmission will continue. Binghamton orders all the PT crews out looking for the jamming devices. The 73 crew find the radio jamming devices but instead of destroying the radio, they take the radio back to their island so they can transmit to the states. But when they start transmitting, Binghamton gets a call from the Admiral that the jamming device is on McHale's island. Binghamton sets out to arrest the crew of the 73. But when the baby talks, even Binghamton gets into the spirit of things. Cindy Robbins appears as Christy's wife. Note: This episode marks the final appearance Gavin MacLeod as Happy. | ||||||
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 73 | 1 | "The Ghosts of 73" | Earl Bellamy | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | September 15, 1964 | 25303 |
The crew of the 73 has been having bad luck recently and with Friday the 13th approaching things are getting worse. When Binghamton discovers how superstitious McHale and the crew are, he devises a plan to scare them into transferring out. But when McHale and the boys find that they have been duped, they cook up their own plan to scare Binghamton into canceling their transfers. The boys get Binghamton to believe that because of him, the 73 boat has been sunk with the crew being killed. They then pretend to haunt Binghamton. | ||||||
| 74 | 2 | "Lester, the Skipper" | Earl Bellamy | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | September 22, 1964 | 25305 |
With his letters home, Gruber has led his girlfriend Ginger (Jean Hale) to believe that he is a Lieutenant Commander. When Ginger pays a surprise visit to Taratupa as part of a traveling show, McHale reluctantly agrees to help Gruber save face by allowing him to act out the part. The charade almost gets them into big trouble, but winds up working out for the good when it helps foil Binghamton's plan to have McHale assigned to a British Liaison's position. Ben Wright appears as Commodore Norcross. James Forrest appears as Lieutenant Crowder. | ||||||
| 75 | 3 | "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad War" | Charles Barton | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | September 29, 1964 | 25309 |
Left alone on the 73 in New Caledonia, while McHale attends a staff meeting and the crew are on an unauthorized liberty, Parker receives an order from Binghamton to pick up the base payroll. After Parker's robbed of the $62,000, McHale and the guys frantically try to locate the cash before Binghamton can accuse them of the theft. Thanks to Parker being Parker, they find the money. | ||||||
| 76 | 4 | "McHale, the Desk Commando" | Charles Barton | Tom Waldman & Frank Waldman | October 6, 1964 | 25307 |
Binghamton fakes an illness and checks into the base hospital, appointing McHale as temporary Base Commander to face an unscheduled inspection by the tough Admiral Rafferty (Philip Ober). With the crew having a party with hula-girls, everything seems to be going as planned for Binghamton. But Binghamton's plan backfires when McHale and the crew manage to make it through the inspection and turn the tables on the Captain. Raquel Welch appears as Lt. Wilson. | ||||||
| 77 | 5 | "McHale's Floating Harem" | Charles Barton | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | October 13, 1964 | 25302 |
Ordered to provide a safe haven for a Sultan (Henry Corden) and his three daughters, Binghamton is forced to send McHale and the 73 crew to rescue the royal family and bring them to Taratupa. But when Virgil, PT 73 Gunner's Mate sneaks one of the princesses away for a romantic boat ride, Parker must become her stand-in while the guys hustle to return the real princess, before the Sultan and the Captain discover that she is/has missing. Note: Even though he left the series at the end of season two, Gavin MacLeod appears as Happy in this episode. | ||||||
| 78 | 6 | "Laugh, Captain, Laugh" | Earl Bellamy | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | October 20, 1964 | 25301 |
After Parker nearly drowns Binghamton during an accident on the 73, the Captain calls for a Fitness Board inquiry to determine Parker's fitness for duty. McHale and the boys then execute a clever plan – involving nitrous oxide, or "laughing gas" – to get Binghamton to change his mind, which backfires when Admiral Shoemaker (Bill Quinn) from the Board arrives early to investigate Parker's situation. After Parker gets a dose of the gas, he shoots down an enemy plane during an air raid. Admiral Shoemaker believes Parker to be a brave man and now has his doubts about Binghamton. Julie Gregg appears as a Nurse. | ||||||
| 79 | 7 | "Will the Alligator Take the Stand?" | Earl Bellamy | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | October 27, 1964 | 25310 |
After Binghamton devises a scheme to frame McHale and the crew for the theft of his wallet, Parker is arrested and charged with the crime. But the Ensign is cleared at the last minute, when McHale and the boys produce Parker's star witness: an alligator that has taken a special liking to Parker. Walter Brooke appears as Captain Swan. | ||||||
| 80 | 8 | "The British Also Have Ensigns" | Earl Bellamy | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | November 10, 1964 | 25311 |
Binghamton has an ulterior motive when he temporarily assigns clumsy, bumbling British Sub-Lieutenant Clivedon (Bernard Fox) to the 73 crew. When the Britisher accidentally captures Fuji and places him under arrest as a spy, McHale and Parker work up a rather risky plan to free their Japanese friend. Parker is going to dress up as Clivedon's cousin, British Admiral Sommers, and hopefully talk his way into letting Binghamton release Fuji. The plan is complicated by a visit from the real Admiral Sommers (Maurice Dallimore). | ||||||
| 81 | 9 | "Senator Parker, Suh!" | Charles Barton | S : Henry Sharp; T : Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | November 17, 1964 | 25306 |
After Parker is passed over again for a promotion, Gruber devises a way for him to vent his frustrations. He makes up a punching-bag that resembles Binghamton. While Parker goes and gets some boxing gloves the real Binghamton shows up. When Parker returns he hits the real Binghamton which winds up landing the Ensign in the brig, pending Court Martial. Then, when the crew finds out about an upcoming visit by the head of the Senate Naval Affairs Committee – whose name just happens to be Parker – McHale and the boys work up a scheme to get their Executive Officer off the hook. | ||||||
| 82 | 10 | "Fountain of Youth" | Hollingsworth Morse | Andy White | November 24, 1964 | 25308 |
With a youth oriented Admiral named Go-Go Granger (Ted Knight) set on visiting the island, Binghamton wants to show the Admiral that he still has spunk. With his new name of Bing-Bing Binghamton, he leads the boat of the 73 on a patrol that will be to a nearby island. The problem is that on the nearby island is where the crew makes their moonshine and Binghamton is bound to find out. The still is damaged in an air raid and its contents spill into a stream. After Binghamton drinks from it, McHale and the guys must convince him that the reason he feels so good is that he has partaken of "The Fountain Of Youth" in order to protect their secret. When Go-Go Granger shows up, he is upset to see that Binghamton has been drinking while on duty. | ||||||
| 83 | 11 | "The Great Eclipse" | Frank McDonald | Stan Dreben & Ralph Goodman | December 1, 1964 | 25314 |
Binghamton orders McHale to negotiate a treaty with the head-hunting natives of a nearby island, for the construction of an airstrip. But the native Chief (Stanley Adams) refuses to sign until their recently deceased witch doctor has been replaced. When Parker accidentally gets the job, he manages to successfully negotiate the treaty with the help of the sun, the moon, and a cigarette lighter. The Chief now wants Parker to stay with the tribe and marry the old witch doctor's wives. Ned Romero appears as the fierce Native. | ||||||
| 84 | 12 | "McHale and His Jet Set" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | December 8, 1964 | 25312 |
Binghamton has his eye on a piece of oceanfront property in New Caledonia, and when it seems that Parker has come into some big money, the Captain hits him up for a loan so that he can acquire it. Parker unwittingly agrees, but after he finds out that his windfall is nearly nothing, Binghamton must join McHale and the 73 crew in a scheme to get out of the deal, which nearly gets them all into big trouble but winds up working out for the good. Lee Bergere appears as Fair Pierre, the crooked real estate man. Victoria Carroll appears as the 1st Nurse. | ||||||
| 85 | 13 | "Christy Goes Traveling" | Charles Barton | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | December 15, 1964 | 25316 |
Christy, PT-73 Quartermaster risks being AWOL, when in a desperate attempt to be with his little daughter on her second birthday, he tries to hitch a ride on a bomber bound for his home town of San Diego. Major complications develop when, as the result of a letter from Gruber and the guys to Fleet Command, Christy is chosen as the Navy's "Father of the Year" and will be sent to the states. Parker pretends to be Christy. Christy winds up getting bumped off the flight. Now the boys have to figure out how to switch Christy for Parker. Leonard Stone appears as Colonel "Black Jack" Cooper. | ||||||
| 86 | 14 | "The Missing Link" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | December 22, 1964 | 25304 |
Once again, Parker is in big trouble with Binghamton, and the Captain has arranged for his transfer to a certain island, which is a frequent target of Japanese guns. But the Ensign is reprieved when Binghamton's lovely niece Cynthia (Marlo Thomas) — an anthropology grad student on a brief visit to the base — talks her uncle into keeping Parker around. Binghamton comes to think that his niece wants to marry Parker. He even has a dream where the crew of the 73 live with him. Cynthia explains again that she does not want to marry Parker, she only wanted to study Parker's body structure. | ||||||
| 87 | 15 | "Fuji's Big Romance" | Charles Barton | Barry E. Blitzer | December 29, 1964 | 25317 |
Fuji is tired of always being left behind when the boys go out to party. They agree to take him out one time. Binghamton must put on a show of good will toward the local natives in order to please George Gregory (John Archer), a visiting V.I.P. But, his plan is complicated by Fuji's love affair with Sulani, the native Chief's lovely daughter. Maloco, Sulani's very jealous boyfriend, is out to get even and disrupts a party given for the natives and Gregory at the base. | ||||||
| 88 | 16 | "The Stool Parrot" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | January 5, 1965 | 25318 |
After Binghamton forbids their fraternization with the female personnel of the base, McHale and the guys find a secret hideaway where they can bend the rules a bit with the nurses. The Captain, with the help of the crew's new parrot mascot, believes McHale and the crew are dealing with the Japanese. Binghamton finds a map with the location of the hideaway and thinks McHale is meeting the enemy there. Binghamton brings Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts) over to help arrest McHale and his men for treason. When Fuji lets them know what is going on, McHale and the guys and girls must quickly whip up a plan to cover themselves. Maura McGiveney and Julie Gregg appear as nurses. | ||||||
| 89 | 17 | "The PT 73 Follies" | Sidney Miller | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | January 12, 1965 | 25321 |
Marooned on a supposedly deserted island for their mandatory survival test, Parker and Binghamton are captured by a Japanese patrol. McHale and the crew, on their way to New Caledonia to try out for the Navy talent show, are captured as well when they drop in to check on the Captain and Parker. They must all then utilize their various talents in a plan to get out of the situation. Frank Gerstle appears as Capt. Cummings, the new Com-Fleet Training Officer. Mako as Lt. Sakawa. | ||||||
| 90 | 18 | "The Truth Hurts" | Hollingsworth Morse | Henry Garson | January 19, 1965 | 25315 |
Binghamton wants to bring Dr. Halifert (John Hubbard) to McHale's island in an effort to prove the crew is suffering from battle fatigue. Before they get there, Nurse Molly tips McHale off. When Dr. Halifert arrives, he finds the crew acting perfectly normal. In another effort to get the goods on the 73 Crew, Binghamton lures the boys into the hospital under false pretenses, and has them injected them with sodium pentothal (or "truth serum"). This causes them to tell him everything he wants to know. McHale and Parker must then work up a plan to get them off the hook, by literally giving Binghamton a dose of his own medicine. | ||||||
| 91 | 19 | "The Late Captain Binghamton" | Charles Barton | Barry E. Blitzer | January 26, 1965 | 25313 |
Binghamton catches the boys up to their usual pranks and threatens to demote all of them. After the Captain has his annual physical exam, the guys see an opportunity to get him out of the way for a while by "doctoring" his X-rays to make it look like he is dying. But the plan backfires when, in an effort to go out a hero, Binghamton volunteers to lead the 73 crew on a dangerous mission to destroy an enemy fuel dump. When Binghamton finally learns that the x-rays were manipulated, it is too late. Admiral Rogers calls and thanks Binghamton for going on the raid. Once on the island, Binghamton and Parker get separated from the others and wind up getting captured. McHale and the boys find a way to destroy the fuel dump and rescue Binghamton and Parker. Julie Gregg appears as a Nurse. John Fujioka appears as a Japanese Lieutenant. | ||||||
| 92 | 20 | "McHale's Floating Laundromat" | Hollingsworth Morse | Allan Manings | February 2, 1965 | 25320 |
In an effort to gather evidence of any shady activities, Binghamton appoints Carpenter as the 73's new Executive Officer, and makes Parker the base's Laundry Officer. After Parker fouls up, McHale and the guys try to help him out, but Carpenter catches them in the act. With Fuji's help, the boys make Carpenter think he has been captured. Binghamton brings Admiral Rafferty (Philip Ober) to McHale's island to prove that McHale is working for the enemy. McHale comes up with a plan that makes it look like Parker is leading an offensive against a Japanese attack on the island. The Admiral is so impressed that he insists Parker is returned to the 73. | ||||||
| 93 | 21 | "All Chiefs and No Indians" | Jean Yarbrough | Ralph Goodman & Stan Dreben | February 9, 1965 | 25323 |
When Binghamton learns that all Chief Petty Officers are to be shipped out, he talks all the guys into taking the exam for CPO. He then fixes the results to see that all of them pass. Now without a crew, the 73 is to be scrapped, and McHale and Parker are to be reassigned. But a very determined Ensign Parker takes it upon himself to keep the 73 in business. Parker does, however, manage to sink Admiral Hardesy's (John Zaremba) PT boat in the process. | ||||||
| 94 | 22 | "Pumpkin Takes Over" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ray Brenner & Barry E. Blitzer | February 16, 1965 | 25322 |
Nurse Suzie Clayton (Yvonne Craig) has agreed to be part of the show that the crew of the 73 is planning if they can get Binghamton's approval. At first, Binghamton agrees to the show. Then his wife Martha (Ann Doran), who has come to visit the base as part of the Women's Navy League tour, arrives. The Captain, who was to escort Nurse Clayton to the shindig, now calls the show off. Suzie tries to talk Binghamton into putting the show back on. Admiral Rogers arrives and mistakes the pretty young nurse for Binghamton's wife. McHale and Parker must hustle to keep the situation a secret from Binghamton's real wife. Parker screws up and puts Martha on a same plane with the Admiral. | ||||||
| 95 | 23 | "The Seven Faces of Ensign Parker" | Charles Barton | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | February 23, 1965 | 25328 |
After the guys swipe Binghamton's dictation machine, Parker is nailed for the crime while in the process of returning it. The Captain throws him into the brig, pending Court Martial. Parker must then work with McHale and the boys in a complicated plan to try to make Binghamton drop the charges, by making him think he is losing his mind. Everywhere Binghamton goes, he sees Parker. The barber shop, the hospital and even in his cell. And it does not help that a visiting Admiral resembles Parker. Gary Owens appears as the 1st Sailor. | ||||||
| 96 | 24 | "The Return of Maggie" | Charles Barton | Tom Waldman & Frank Waldman | March 2, 1965 | 25326 |
McHale's gambling, conniving, saloon-keeping old friend Maggie Monohan (Jean Willes) is back in business in New Caledonia. Binghamton has been ordered to shut her down by Admiral Slocum (Bill Quinn). Seeing an opportunity to "kill two birds with one stone," Binghamton schemes to nail McHale and the crew along with her. But, McHale and Maggie join forces in a plan to keep him from doing so, counting on Binghamton's greed. | ||||||
| 97 | 25 | "Send This Ensign to Camp" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | March 9, 1965 | 25327 |
Struck on the head during a Japanese raid, Parker develops regressive amnesia, and thinks he has returned to his childhood days at summer camp. McHale and the guys must then try to keep the Ensign out of sight long enough to think of a way to cure him. But, Parker sneeks over to mainside where Binghamton finds him. Realizing that Parker has amnesia, the Captain wants to bring him before Fleet Medical Officer Moran (Nelson Olmsted). Binghamton is happy to lose Parker in a medical discharge. The Japanese shell the base and Parker is hit in the head again, bringing him back to normal. But, this time Binghamton also gets hit in the head and thinks he is someone else. | ||||||
| 98 | 26 | "By the Numbers, Paint" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | March 16, 1965 | TBA |
The boys are desperate to raise $300 for a tonsillectomy for Christy's little girl. Gruber and the guys try to pass off a paint-by-numbers portrait as a genuine Gauguin. Binghamton gets in the way of the scheme when he learns that the paintings are not Gaugain's. But McHale advises him that they are painted by Paul Gauguin's brother named Claude. Binghamton wants proof. Parker poses as Claude Gauguin and will paint Binghamton's portrait. J. Edward McKinley appears as Senator Duncan. | ||||||
| 99 | 27 | "Chuckie Cottontail" | Hollingsworth Morse | Story by : William Raynor & Myles Wilder and Scott Hunt & Bill Stowell & Beth Keele Teleplay by : William Raynor & Myles Wilder | March 23, 1965 | TBA |
Admiral Hardesy has a shipment of real eggs sent to Taratupa for the Easter Holidays. It will be up to Binghamton to protect the eggs until the Admiral can make the trip to the base for the pick-up. In the meantime, the crew of the 73 steal the Admiral's eggs to make some moonshine eggnog for a profit. While searching McHale's island for the stolen eggs, Binghamton, Carpenter, and the Admiral are captured by Japanese soldiers, drunk on the egg nog. But they are soon rescued by Parker dressed as the Easter Bunny on his way to an Easter egg hunt, supervised by McHale and the guys, for some native school children. Rollin Moriyama and Mako appear as the Japanese. | ||||||
| 100 | 28 | "The Great Necklace Caper" | Sidney Miller | Barry E. Blitzer & Ray Brenner | March 30, 1965 | TBA |
An island chimp goes through Binghamton's window and takes a necklace that he had bought for his wife. Binghamton panics when he learns that Naval Intelligence is on its way to investigate the disappearance of the $1000 jade necklace, which he bought with funds "borrowed" from the Officer's Club. Then, after the necklace turns up, Binghamton tries to frame McHale and his men with the crime in order to cover his tracks. But, Binghamton's plan backfires when he unknowingly enlists Naval Intelligence Lt. Crawford (Jeanne Bal) to help him. | ||||||
| 101 | 29 | "Will the Real Admiral Please Stand Up?" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | April 6, 1965 | TBA |
The crew of the 73 is in New Caledonia as the Navy wants an oil treaty signed with the Shah of Durani (Stanley Adams). But the Shah refuses to sign any treaty unless an Admiral is present. After Parker saves the life of the Shah's daughter Karema (Brenda Benet), the Shah insists he be promoted to Admiral. Parker takes full advantage of his situation, so that he can fill in for Admiral Rogers in negotiations for the drilling rights to the Shah's oil-rich island nation. Gruber, Bell and Binghamton pose as Admirals when Parker goes missing. Then when Admiral Rogers shows up, a fast thinking McHale straightens everything out. Ivan Bonar appears as the Shah's Major Domo. | ||||||
| 102 | 30 | "Hello, McHale? Colonna!" | Sidney Miller | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | April 13, 1965 | TBA |
After running into Jerry Colonna in New Caledonia, McHale and the guys talk the bug-eyed, mustachioed comic into making an unscheduled stop for a show on Taratupa. But when they learn that the base does not qualify for a Special Services show, they must make some special arrangements for an "epidemic" at the base hospital. Meanwhile, Captain Binghamton is being drilled by a medical Admiral named Henshaw (Tyler McVey). It seems that Henshaw has read some records and believe that some of the men at Taratupa are faking sickness. Binghamton orders Carpenter to have the hospital cleared. But, this is at the same time McHale is trying to fill the beds for the Colonna show. Henshaw makes a surprise inspection and McHale has to explain why they were trying to fill the beds. | ||||||
| 103 | 31 | "Rumble on Taratupa" | Earl Bellamy | Stan Dreben & Ralph Goodman | April 20, 1965 | TBA |
Binghamton tries to frame the 73 crew for the manufacture and sale of illegal liquor, and has them all thrown into the brig pending an investigation. With Fuji's help, McHale and the guys manage to escape from jail. They then execute a complicated scheme involving "McHale's Mob" to make the Captain look like a lunatic in the eyes of the Fleet Legal Officer, Capt. Shepard (Robert F. Simon). Nelson Olmsted appears as Dr. Moran, the psychiatrist. Clay Tanner appears as a Marine Guard. | ||||||
| 104 | 32 | "All Ahead, Empty" | Hollingsworth Morse | Story by : John Wright & William C. Jackson Teleplay by : Allan Manings | April 27, 1965 | TBA |
Kwazniak (Marvin Kaplan), an MIT-trained electronics wizard, comes to the base to convert the 73 into a fully automated, remote-controlled vessel. McHale and the crew fear that they may soon become obsolete and be transferred somewhere else. The only hope for McHale and his crew is if they can jam the radio frequency on the day of the test. If they can show the Adm. Hardesy (John Zaremba) that the boat is uncontrollable then they can save their positions. Willy is unable to get to the jamming radio, so it looks hopeless for the crew of the 73. The test starts out without any problems, but things soon go wrong with help from a very unlikely source. Sammy Shore appears as a Guard. | ||||||
| 105 | 33 | "The Vampire of Taratupa" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | May 4, 1965 | TBA |
Angry after another mishap with Parker, Binghamton assigns the Ensign to coast-watching duty in a hazardous location. But he quickly changes his mind when he finds that Parker may be the only source of his extremely rare blood type in the South Pacific. Binghamton now wants Parker protected. He even takes him away from the 73 and places him at his residence to make sure nothing happens to him. The boys find out that a nurse fabricated the blood samples so that Parker would not be sent away. The boys must now find a way for Binghamton to not want Chuck around without letting him know about the deception. Ann Elder appears as Lt. Melba Benson, a clumsy nurse that falls for Parker. | ||||||
| 106 | 34 | "Birth of a Salesman" | Jean Yarbrough | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | May 11, 1965 | TBA |
Binghamton is upset about losing his civilian job after the war and is looking to get on the good-side of a firm so that when the war is over he has a good job. Lieutenant Whitworth (Steve Franken) gets assigned to the base. Whitworth is in charge of the largest life insurance company on the mainland. Binghamton is bending over backwards to impress Whitworth so that he can be a salesman after the war. Whitworth tells Binghamton that if he can sell a policy to all the 73 crew then he will hire him as an agent. But the Captain's high-pressure sales tactics prompt McHale and the guys to work up a plan to get back at him. | ||||||
| 107 | 35 | "A Star Falls on Taratupa" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ray Brenner & Barry E. Blitzer | May 18, 1965 | TBA |
In response to a letter from Gruber and the guys, glamorous movie star Mimi St. Clair (Jean Hale) makes the trip to Taratupa with a plan to create some publicity for herself. Upon arriving in Taratupa, Binghamton is upset that Ms St.Clair is here to see the crew of the 73. Binghamton had plans to take her to com-fleet and introduce her to Admiral Rogers. So Binghamton sends McHale out on a phony mission. Mimi has her chance to make the headlines and stows away on the 73. But things do not go as Mimi had planned and her secretary (Fay DeWitt) winds up grabbing all the headlines. Gary Owens appears as a Reporter. | ||||||
| 108 | 36 | "Make Room for Orvie" | Jean Yarbrough | John Fenton Murray | June 1, 1965 | TBA |
Binghamton pressures Orvie Tuttle (Michael Burns), a young new member of the 73 crew, into spying on McHale and the guys, to try to gather evidence of any shady activities. But the Captain's plan is foiled by another new member of the crew, Shorty the Chimp, who proves to be not only very intelligent, but an excellent sailor as well. | ||||||
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 109 | 1 | "War, Italian Style" | Hollingsworth Morse | Frank Gill, Jr. & George Carleton Brown | September 14, 1965 | |
McHale, the 73 crew, greedy Captain Binghamton, and Lieutenant Carpenter have all been transferred to a base in the little coastal town of Voltafiore, Italy. They soon find themselves dealing with the town's crooked, money-hungry Mayor Lugatto (Jay Novello) and his assistant Dino Baroni (Dick Wilson). From claiming a whiplash from a door hitting him, to creating an accident with the PT 73, this mayor has his hands into everything. But when Fuji makes the trip to Italy and the mayor accidentally comes across him, the mayor believes he will receive an cash award from Binghamton by turning in the Japanese spy. McHale and the boys manage to convince Binghamton that Fuji is an American soldier. | ||||||
| 110 | 2 | "The Bathtub Thief" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | September 21, 1965 | |
Binghamton is in the middle of a bubble-bath from a tub that he confiscated as a spoil of war. After some mishap, the tub rolls into the street and right against Colonel Harrigan's jeep. Now the Colonel wants the spoil of war and he confiscates Binghamton's tub. But, Binghamton steals it back. Meanwhile, in search of a hot shower, McHale, Parker, Gruber, and Tinker are trapped by a German patrol behind enemy lines, and must masquerade as an Italian family in order to save themselves, as well as the Captain and Lieutenant Carpenter. Henry Beckman joins the cast as recurring character Colonel Harrigan. Ron Soble appears as the German Sergeant. | ||||||
| 111 | 3 | "Marriage, McHale Style" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ralph Goodman & Bruce Howard | September 28, 1965 | |
Binghamton angers the local Italians after he selfishly forbids their fraternization with Naval personnel. Local girl Gina (Victoria Vetri) wants to marry her sweetheart, who happens to be an Italian soldier, before he is sent away to prison camp. McHale reluctantly agrees but can only perform the wedding on the boat. But the Mayor of the town invites the entire village. And with McHale only thinking it will be a few people, it ends up with the entire town wanting to get on McHale's boat. Binghamton must quickly make amends with the villagers in order to please a certain VIP, due soon for a visit. So he allows McHale and the townsfolk to throw the big wedding bash. | ||||||
| 112 | 4 | "Giuseppe McHale" | Hollingsworth Morse | Hugh Wedlock, Jr. & Allan Manings | October 5, 1965 | |
Christy has been arrested by Binghamton and is housed in the local Navy brig. McHale says he will go talk with Colonel Harrigan about the incident. The problem is that McHale is restricted to base and leaving could get him an AWOL charge. But he goes hoping to get Christy off. During his absence McHale's Italian cousin Giuseppe (Ernest Borgnine in a dual role), who happens to bear a very strong resemblance to his American counterpart, shows up. The crew will let Giuseppe stand in for McHale when Binghamton comes looking for him. But it will not be easy since the cousin can speak no English. | ||||||
| 113 | 5 | "A Nip in Time" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | October 12, 1965 | |
Gruber and the guys find that there is money to be made in the lucrative German war souvenir market. The guys, McHale, and Colonel Harrigan are all captured by a German patrol during a souvenir-hunting trip to an off-limits town. Parker and Fuji collaborate on a clever plan to rescue their comrades. Bart Burns appears as the Motor Pool Sgt. James Frawley appears as the German Noncom. | ||||||
| 114 | 6 | "Piazza Binghamtoni" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | October 19, 1965 | |
Binghamton closes the town to all personal after Ensign Parker accidentally assaults him. With the town closed and Parker in the brig, McHale and Mayor Lugatto have to find a way to make Binghamton reopen the town and release Parker. They plan to turn the glory-hungry Binghamton into "The Great Liberator" and erect a statue of him in the main square. Binghamton now opens the town, but Parker is still in jail. McHale comes up with a last minute way to get Parker freed. John Gallaudet appears as Admiral Laurence. Ralph Manza appears as Angelo Barone, the sculptor. | ||||||
| 115 | 7 | "The Bald-Headed Contessa" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | October 26, 1965 | |
After being sent on a hike by Binghamton, the crew come upon an estate that belongs to a beautiful Contessa that happened to flee the area due to the war. The crew thinks that this is a nice place for them to throw a small party. In the meantime, Binghamton and Harrigan are each throwing a small party themselves. It seems that both are trying to lure General Bronson (Simon Scott) to attend their respective party. When words get to each Commander that there are lights on at the Contessa's estate, both have to go and try to get her to attend their party. Both Binghamton and Harrigan have no choice but to go along with the plan of having Parker pose as the Contessa, in order to try to fool the General and keep everyone out of trouble. | ||||||
| 116 | 8 | "Voltafiore Fish-Fry" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ralph Goodman & Bruce Howard | November 2, 1965 | |
General Bronson has issued orders that anyone caught profiteering will be brought up on charges. Binghamton is sneaking around the city trying to catch McHale and his men doing something illegal. Mayor Lugatto tricks McHale into going into the fishing business for him. With the 73 made out to be a fishing vessel, McHale sets off to find the fish. Upon returning Binghamton is waiting for him on shore. He now has the goods on McHale and will lead him to meet with the General. On the way a German sub starts bombing the town. Because the 73 looks like a fishing vessel, they are able to get close enough to sink the sub. That works out to the good for McHale and the crew, but very much not-so-good for Binghamton and Lugatto. | ||||||
| 117 | 9 | "A Wine Cellar Is Not a Home" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | November 9, 1965 | |
Fed up with their less-than-pleasant accommodations, McHale and the guys move to an abandoned wine cellar. It just so happens that a cargo ship has been sunk near the coast and the crew find all sorts of luxurious furniture to furnish the place with. But first greedy Binghamton, then Harrigan, impound their furnishings for their own use. McHale and the guys dress up as Germans and steal the furniture from Harrigan. Harrigan believes Binghamton had something to do with the heist. In order to be able to keep the furniture, the boys have to make it look as if it were destroyed. | ||||||
| 118 | 10 | "Vino, Vino, Who's Got the Vino?" | Hollingsworth Morse | Elroy Schwartz | November 16, 1965 | |
There is no wine in Voltafiore and Binghamton wants to get some to give to General Bronson. McHale and his crew come across a German boat in a cove while on patrol. When the crew goes into the cove to see what the Germans were doing, they find that they were trying to get cases of stolen wine off the sea floor. McHale comes up with a plan where he will empty the bottles of wine and store the drink in barrels. Then he will fill the bottles of wine with explosives and replace the cases on the bottom of the sea. Mayor Lugatto finds out that McHale is placing wine cases at the bottom of the cove. Binghamton retrieves the wine. McHale has to make sure Binghamton does not open a bottle. | ||||||
| 119 | 11 | "The McHale Opera Company" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ralph Goodman & Bruce Howard | November 23, 1965 | |
Mayor Lugatto wants the town's opera house back in business. McHale's crew gets caught taking building supplies and are put in jail. Binghamton is recording a song for his wife's anniversary. Even though the singing is hard to take, Rosa tells him that he has the best voice around and asks him to sing with her. They come up with a plan to have Binghamton sing the lead in the opera company's season-opener, despite the Captain's painfully obvious lack of talent. Now Binghamton will help with the supplies for the Opera House. He even wants to invite General Bronson to attend the event. McHale has to come up with a plan where Binghamton will not be heard singing. | ||||||
| 120 | 12 | "The Good Luck Fountain" | Hollingsworth Morse | Henry Garson | November 30, 1965 | |
Mayor Lugatto is running a racket in the form of a "Good Luck Fountain" in the town square. Binghamton sees the fountain and immediately shuts it down. Binghamton is going to a conference and will be gone a few days. McHale wants to help Ensign Parker who is feeling low. So with Binghamton gone, McHale gets the Mayor to reopen the fountain. Parker can now wish for a girl. But when Binghamton returns after the conference is canceled, he throws the Mayor into jail, pending impeachment proceedings, for reopening the fountain. So, to get the Captain to let the Mayor out of jail and reopen the fountain, McHale and the guys must come up with a plan to convince Binghamton that "The Curse of Voltafiore" has befallen him. | ||||||
| 121 | 13 | "Blitzkrieg at McHale's Beach" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | December 7, 1965 | |
Colonel Harrigan wants to take over McHale's beach for himself. He goes to Binghamton and tells him that General Bronson is to make a visit to check on the moral of the officers. If things are not going well then Binghamton will be shipped off to North Africa. Binghamton is going to have to move McHale's crew into his building and pretend that the two are getting along splendidly. McHale and his crew do not want to be in town and Binghamton does not really want the crew at his residence. When they find out Harrigan made the whole thing up, McHale and the Captain, independently, think of a similar plan to get back at him. But it becomes a mess when the two plans are staged at the same time. | ||||||
| 122 | 14 | "Reunion for PT 73" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | December 14, 1965 | |
Binghamton comes across a tape recorder that belongs to Parker. It seems that Parker was recording some of the guys and they were talking about all the big schemes they had made against Binghamton over the last few months. Binghamton now has the evidence needed to start a court-martial against the crew of the 73. He summons General Williams (William Mims), the Judge Advocate General to present it. But when a potted-plant hits Binghamton in the head making him woozy, McHale thinks of a plan where they can get the recorder back. The plan includes making Binghamton think the war is over and he is at a reunion of war vets. But when General Williams shows up during the execution of the plan, things may get even worse. Note: Gruber holds up a newspaper saying that the Brooklyn Dodgers blew another pennant and predicted they would win in 1951, which, in real life, they did not. | ||||||
| 123 | 15 | "The Return of Giuseppe" | Hollingsworth Morse | Bruce Howard & Ralph Goodman | December 21, 1965 | |
After McHale defies Binghamton's orders and travels to a nearby town to attend his little cousin's birthday party, Binghamton tries to nail him on a desertion charge. But McHale manages to stay out of trouble when he and his look-alike Italian cousin, Giuseppe, assume each other's identities long enough to fool Binghamton and General Grayson (Willis Bouchey). Note: Ernest Borgnine plays a dual role. | ||||||
| 124 | 16 | "The Boy Scouts of 73" | Hollingsworth Morse | Hugh Wedlock, Jr. & Allan Manings | December 28, 1965 | |
Parker tries, unsuccessfully, to set three young Italian thieves on the straight and narrow with some good old-fashioned Boy Scout training. But after McHale and the Crew are arrested and jailed for the gang's crimes, the boys set out to help their Scoutmaster and his crew, and wind up nailing Binghamton in the bargain. | ||||||
| 125 | 17 | "Fire in the Liquor Locker" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | January 4, 1966 | |
Gruber and the guys find a way to both make and deliver their homemade liquor when they build a mobile distillery in an old fire engine. But their scheme goes sour when Binghamton confiscates the old engine for the new Voltafiore Volunteer Fire Department, formed as a part of his new civic improvement program. Binghamton will be the chief of the fire crew and place townsfolk as members. This will surely make points with General Bronson. That is until he has to put out the General's jeep fire with moonshine. | ||||||
| 126 | 18 | "The Fugitive Ensign" | Hollingsworth Morse | William Raynor & Myles Wilder | January 11, 1966 | |
Parker takes it on the lam after an accident with a machine gun has him thinking that he has killed the Captain. A furious Binghamton orders an all-out search for Parker and offers a sizeable reward for his capture. McHale and the boys must first find Parker, then cook up a complicated plan to get him out of trouble. The plan involves getting Binghamton to believe that Parker saved his life from the Germans. Ralph Manza appears as a gypsy. Clay Tanner appears as an MP. | ||||||
| 127 | 19 | "The Wacky WAC" | Hollingsworth Morse | Bruce Howard & Brad Radnitz | January 18, 1966 | |
An AWOL WAC Corporal named Sally Murdock (Joan Staley) is trying to see her sweetheart Sgt. Clancy (Don Stewart) before her unit ships out to North Africa. McHale reluctantly agrees to help Sally. Sgt. Clancy is a driver for Colonel Harrigan. So McHale asks Harrigan to come to his base and give a lecture. But at the lecture Binghamton is spying around the camp and notices Sally in the bushes. He thinks the female is a German agent and arrests her. McHale still does not give up. With Sally under arrest, he is still bound to help her before Binghamton finds out that she is AWOL. Parker must play the part of a WAC MP, as part of McHale's plan to free her and reunite her with Clancy. Jackie Joseph and Janice Carroll appear as WAC MPs. | ||||||
| 128 | 20 | "La Dolce 73" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | January 25, 1966 | |
Binghamton devises a scheme to make McHale and the 73 crew look bad in the eyes of visiting Congresswoman Adele Austin (Elvia Allman). Miss Austin is looking to make sure that the US Armed Forces are conducting themselves with dignity in the theater of Europe. If Binghamton can film McHale and his crew in a drunken party, he just might be able to get rid of them. But thanks to McHale and his crew, the Congresswoman's film has been manipulated to only show Binghamton. Binghamton must then cooperate with them in order to get himself out of a tough situation with the Congresswoman and get back at Harrigan at the same time. | ||||||
| 129 | 21 | "McHale's Country Club Caper" | Hollingsworth Morse | Ralph Goodman | February 8, 1966 | |
Binghamton is trying to build a work-out area for the men to impress the General. But when Colonel Harrigan confiscates the equipment it looks like Harrigan is the one that is going to get on the General's good side. Binghamton decides to now build the General a golf course. Con-artist Guido Panzini (Pat Harrington Jr.) happens to overhear Binghamton. For the small fee of $1000, Guido will build him one that will really impress the General. Binghamton pays him the amount out of the Naval recreation fund. Thanks to McHale, Binghamton finds out that Guido is a con-artist. But by then Guido has already fled the area with the money. Binghamton enlists the aid of McHale and the 73 crew in not only getting the money back, but making a fool out of Harrigan as well. | ||||||
| 130 | 22 | "Secret Chimp 007" | Hollingsworth Morse | Elroy Schwartz | February 15, 1966 | |
Binghamton learns that there are German spies operating in the area. A courier drops off some secret papers and when Binghamton is not looking, a chimp takes them. The chimp makes his way to McHale's camp, also taking letters from there, and then brings the papers back to his Gypsy owner. Binghamton sets up the thief by placing another letter on his desk. Sure enough, the chimp returns and when Binghamton follows the chimp he finds him in the company of Parker who was also looking for the thief. Binghamton arrests McHale and Parker for espionage. He then follows the orders on the papers that sends all PT boats into a dangerous situation. Gen. Bronson arrives and they figure out that the orders were sent by the German spies. Kent McCord (credited as Kent McWhirter) appears as the courier. | ||||||
| 131 | 23 | "36-24-73" | Hollingsworth Morse | Sam Locke & Joel Rapp | February 22, 1966 | |
Ensign Parker damages a local's boat and now the crew has to get the money to replace it or it will be reported to Binghamton. McHale's crew wants to put on a beauty show for the army men to raise the money. With the tickets sold, local girls ready and the food mysteriously requisitioned for, everything is set. Meanwhile, Binghamton has just received a new secretary, a regulation-quoting lady ensign named Sandra Collins (Maura McGiveney). She runs across the strange requisitions from McHale's crew. After she reports it to Binghamton, they go out and take back all the food and put a stop to the beauty show. Sandra feels bad that her action got the show axed. She goes over to talk with the crew and thinks of a plan where they can still have the show and it will not violate any code of misconduct. The plan also helps them bag a German submarine. In the meantime, she and Mr. Parker develop a mutual attraction to one another. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Ennis. | ||||||
| 132 | 24 | "My Son, the Skipper" | Hollingsworth Morse | Bruce Howard & Brad Radnitz | March 1, 1966 | |
Binghamton leads the 73 crew to believe McHale is being transferred. In reality, the Skipper has gone to training. Binghamton promotes Ensign Parker to skipper of the PT 73 but only if he is rough and tough enough to handle the job. So Parker goes into this wild-man type mold and starts working the crew like dogs. Fed up with the power-drunk Parker, the crew all put in for transfers. But when they find out that McHale's absence is only temporary, Parker and the crew must come up with a plan to get the Captain to tear up the transfer papers. This involves taking the Captain out on what could be a "suicide" mission. | ||||||
| 133 | 25 | "Little Red Riding Doctor" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | March 8, 1966 | |
The town is in the midst of its 500th anniversary celebration. There is a "King of the Festival" contest between Binghamton and McHale, with McHale crowned the winner. This infuriates Binghamton and he tries to arrange to have Lt. Pratt (Don Knotts), a visiting psychiatrist, declare the 73 crew unfit for duty. Lt. Pratt finds nothing wrong with the crew. But with the crew set to perform a 'Red Riding Hood' play at the festival in town, Binghamton again calls Pratt to view the crew in their costumes. Not knowing anything about the festival, Pratt declares that the men have battle fatigue and is sending them to the hospital ship that sails in a few hours. This forces McHale to come up with a plan to keep his crew together and turn the tables on the Captain. Nelson Olmsted appears as Colonel Wilcox. | ||||||
| 134 | 26 | "Who Was That German I Saw You With?" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | March 15, 1966 | |
Pete Morgan (Herb Vigran) from Globe Magazine is set to visit the base to make some pictures of McHale and his crew. Binghamton has got word about Morgan's arrival and wants his picture on the front page instead of McHales, so he sends McHale out on a mission. But McHale is going to wait for Pete Morgan and then take him out on the mission with them. Binghamton gets wind of McHale disobeying his order and goes out to his tents to make sure they have gone. A German patrol has come up on the tents and are now dressed like American sailors. When Binghamton gets to the tents he is taken hostage by the Germans. After Parker is also captured, McHale and the guys come to the rescue, and wind up having their picture on the cover of the magazine. James Frawley appears as the German Sergeant. | ||||||
| 135 | 27 | "The McHale Grand Prix" | Hollingsworth Morse | Story by : Jerry Mayer Teleplay by : Ralph Goodman | March 22, 1966 | |
Ensign Parker wrecks the Captain's jeep. With all the wrecks that have been reported, Binghamton want to keep this off the record and advises McHale to fix the jeep without any help from motor pool. The only way that McHale can get a new motor for the jeep is from a local repairman that is in need of a body to race his new motor in the town's annual Grand Prix auto race. If McHale will loan him the body for the race, he will give him the motor when the race is over. Binghamton is supposed to be away while the race is on but comes back unexpected. Now McHale is trying to keep the proceedings away from him but it will be nearly impossible as Colonel Harrigan and General Bronson arrive right at the finish of the race. The General lets things slide because the Army acquires one of the Germans' new staff cars that one of the race drivers had stolen. | ||||||
| 136 | 28 | "An Ensign's Best Friend" | Hollingsworth Morse | Robert J. Hilliard & Mickey Freeman | March 29, 1966 | |
Binghamton has received word from the General to put a stop to all fraternizing with the local women. The Captain also orders all dogs in town must now have a license. Meanwhile, concerned about Parker's unusual behavior, McHale and the guys investigate his situation. They follow him to a house where he meets a beautiful girl. So they think he is seeing the girl. But Parker is actually just walking her dog Angelina. It all comes to a head when Binghamton comes in to arrest Parker for violating the fraternizing rule. But when he finds out that Angelina is having babies, he knows he has him on more charges than one. That is, until Colonel Harrigan finds out the babies are puppies. | ||||||
| 137 | 29 | "Binghamton, at 20 Paces" | Hollingsworth Morse | John Fenton Murray | April 5, 1966 | |
Count Cesare Spinetti (David Opatoshu) feels he was dishonored by Ensign Parker. The Count, who is an expert marksman, challenges Parker to an old fashion duel. Parker has been feeling down about being called a coward, so he takes up the challenge and will fight the Count. McHale tries to convince Spinetti that Parker is also an expert shot, but the Count does not fall for it. The next morning at the duel, Binghamton shows up, hoping to arrest Parker for dueling. In the process, the Captain insults Spinetti and is now challenged to a duel. A German air raid prevents any duel from happening. The next day, it is Colonel Harrigan that insults the Count. | ||||||
| 138 | 30 | "Wally for Congress" | Hollingsworth Morse | Elroy Schwartz | April 12, 1966 | |
Washington insider, Frank Templeton (Stanley Adams), is making a visit to Italy to see how the war effort is advancing. Mr. Templeton is a political big-wig with a reputation for turning war heroes into politicians. Binghamton is thinking about running for Congress if he can get the backing of Mr. Templeton. Binghamton must quickly change from a "desk jockey" into a fearless, battle-hardened commander in order to try to become the boss's next project after the war. So he becomes part of PT 73 crew and goes out hunting for Germans. When no Germans can be found, Binghamton blackmails the boys into staging a German ambush. His plan backfires when an army unit captures the crew in their German uniforms. | ||||||
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