Author | Mark Driscoll, Grace Driscoll |
---|---|
Language | English |
Genre | Christian Life |
Publisher | Thomas Nelson |
Publication date | January 3, 2012 |
Publication place | United States |
Media type | Print (Hardback & e-book) |
Pages | 272 pp (first edition, hardback) |
ISBN | 140020383X (first edition, hardback) |
Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together is a 2012 marriage book written by Christian author Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, and published by Thomas Nelson. The book spent one week on the New York Times Best Seller list for advice books, [1] however, controversy arose when it was later reported that a former pastor of Mars Hill Church had contracted with the marketing firm Result Source to affect metrics on the best-seller list shortly before resigning. The church also created a Real Marriage sermon series based on the book. [2]
In the preface, Mark and Grace Driscoll state that they developed the book after they had counseled many couples—many of them facing challenges on how to apply the Bible to their marriage. According to the authors, many of the couples they counseled were afraid of asking questions, and the book sought to address those questions. [3] The book holds to the complementarian view of marriage between one man and one woman. The book is divided into three parts: Marriage, Sex, and The Last Day. In part one, the Driscolls share their personal stories, including their individual upbringings, their years as a dating couple, and conflict in their marriage. In part two, the authors deal with three different views of sex—sex as god, sex as gross, and sex as gift. In part three, the authors lay out how to "reverse engineer" one's marriage, by examining how to "finish well" on its last day.
The book was later turned into a sermon series, featuring Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace, with question and answers at the end of each sermon. Paralleling the book's content, the series is divided into:
Critical reception for the book has been mixed, with Publishers Weekly praising the book's "boldly refreshing approach". [8] Relevant wrote that "Though it's certainly not all bad, the helpful and the harmful in Real Marriage are too thoroughly intertwined to be helpful." [9]
The book has faced criticism due to the Driscolls' detailed and frank discussion of sex in Real Marriage. [10] The Driscolls have stated that they did not write the book for people looking to read the book for "voyeuristic" intents, but because they viewed sex as an important part of marriage and that the majority of marriage help books were written for people who had not "experienced sexual assault or been abused or exposed to pornography or sexual sins". [11] The book has also been criticized for content such as chapters entitled "The Respectful Wife", with critics stating that the book was "an astoundingly unbelievable work of disrespect for women" [12] and that "the book focuses so much on sex that it can create the impression that it's the most important element of marriage". [13]
Mark Driscoll has replied to these criticisms, stating that he was aware that the book's content would "catch flak" and that "accommodating everyone would be impossible". [14]
In March 2014, The Los Angeles Times reported that Mars Hill Church contracted with Result Source "to conduct a bestseller campaign for your book, 'Real Marriage' on the week of January 2, 2012. The bestseller campaign is intended to place 'Real Marriage' on the New York Times bestseller list for the Advice How-to list." To achieve this, the contract stated that "RSI will be purchasing at least 11,000 total orders in one-week." This took place and as a result, the book was successfully ranked #1 on the hardcover advice bestseller list on January 22, 2012. [15] [16]
On March 28, 2015, a former elder of the church revealed that Mark Driscoll had not been involved in initiating nor signing the contract with the marketing firm Result Source. The elder stated that the business relationship with Result Source was initiated by a pastor who resigned shortly thereafter, and remaining church leaders disagreed over the completion of the contract stating that it would reflect badly on the church and Mark Driscoll. [17]
The United Methodist Church (UMC) is a worldwide mainline Protestant denomination based in the United States, and a major part of Methodism. In the 19th century, its main predecessor, the Methodist Episcopal Church, was a leader in evangelicalism. The present denomination was founded in 1968 in Dallas, Texas, by union of the Methodist Church and the Evangelical United Brethren Church. The UMC traces its roots back to the revival movement of John and Charles Wesley in England, as well as the Great Awakening in the United States. As such, the church's theological orientation is decidedly Wesleyan. It embraces liturgical worship, holiness, and evangelical elements.
The New York Times Best Seller list is widely considered the preeminent list of best-selling books in the United States. The New York Times Book Review has published the list weekly since October 12, 1931. In the 21st century, it has evolved into multiple lists, grouped by genre and format, including fiction and nonfiction, hardcover, paperback and electronic.
Sex manuals are books which explain how to perform sexual practices; they also commonly feature advice on birth control, and sometimes on safe sex and sexual relationships.
John Stephen Piper is an American theologian and pastor in the Reformed Baptist tradition. He is also chancellor of Bethlehem College and Seminary in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Piper taught biblical studies at Bethel University for six years (1974–1980), before serving as pastor for preaching and vision of Bethlehem Baptist Church (Converge) in Minneapolis for 33 years (1980–2013).
Timothy Francis LaHaye was an American Baptist evangelical Christian minister who wrote more than 85 books, both fiction and non-fiction, including the Left Behind series of apocalyptic fiction, which he co-authored with Jerry B. Jenkins.
John Fullerton MacArthur Jr. is an American pastor and author who hosts the national Christian radio and television program Grace to You. He has been the pastor of Grace Community Church, a non-denominational church in Sun Valley, California since February 9, 1969. He is currently the chancellor emeritus of The Master's University in Santa Clarita and The Master's Seminary.
Max Lucado is an American author and minister at Oak Hills Church in San Antonio, Texas.
Mars Hill Bible Church is an American non-denominational Christian megachurch located in Grandville, Michigan near Grand Rapids. The teaching pastor was Rob Bell until December, 2011 when Bell transitioned into another ministry and was succeeded by his friend and fellow Mars Hill pastor Shane Hipps. In August 2012, the church announced to its members that Kent Dobson, son of well-known church leader and speaker Ed Dobson, would assume the position of teaching pastor. Dobson was then succeeded in August 2016 by AJ Sherrill, former pastor of Trinity Grace Church: Chelsea in NYC. In 2020, Sherrill departed from the church and in 2021 was succeeded by Ashlee Eiland and Troy Hatfield.
Mark A. Driscoll is an American evangelical pastor and author. He is the founder and primary contributor of RealFaith ministries. He is also the senior and founding pastor of Trinity Church in Scottsdale, Arizona, which was founded in 2016.
Robert Holmes Bell Jr. is an American author, speaker, playwright, musician and former pastor. Bell founded Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan, and pastored it until 2012. Under his leadership, Mars Hill was one of the fastest-growing churches in America.
Mars Hill Church was a non-denominational evangelical Christian megachurch, founded in 1996 by Mark Driscoll, Lief Moi, and Mike Gunn. It was a multi-site church based in Seattle, Washington and grew from a home Bible study to 15 locations in 4 U.S. states. In addition to services offered at its 15 locations, the church also podcast content of weekend services, and of conferences, on the Internet, with more than 260,000 sermon views online every week. In 2013, Mars Hill had a membership of 6,489 and average weekly attendance of 12,329. Following controversy in 2014 involving founding pastor Mark Driscoll, attendance dropped to 8,000–9,000 people per week.
James River Church is a Pentecostal multi-site megachurch based in Ozark, Missouri. It is affiliated with Assemblies of God USA. In 2019, James River reported an average weekly attendance of 19,000, making it one of the ten largest AG churches and one of the largest churches in Missouri. John Lindell is the Lead Pastor alongside wife Debbie.
Francis Chan is an American Protestant author, teacher, and preacher. He is the former teaching pastor of the nondenominational Cornerstone Community Church, an Evangelical church in Simi Valley, California founded by Chan in 1994. He also founded Eternity Bible College in 2004, and served as its early chancellor until 2010.
Mark Batterson is an American pastor and author. Batterson serves as lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. NCC was recognized as one of the Most Innovative and Most Influential Churches in America by Outreach Magazine in 2008. Batterson is also the author of the books Win the Day,In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, and Wild Goose Chase. Batterson's New York Times bestseller The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears was released in December 2011.
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Matt Chandler is an American Baptist evangelical Christian pastor. He is the senior pastor of Village Church, based in Flower Mound, Texas and the executive director of the board of the Acts 29 Network.
ResultSource is a San Diego–based book marketing company that conducts "bestseller campaigns" on behalf of authors. The company states "We create campaigns that reach a specific goal, like: 'On the bestsellers list', or '100,000 copies sold'." For example, for a negotiated fee ResultSource will guarantee that a book becomes a bestseller. It does this through bulk book buying programs designed to manipulate the metrics used by Nielsen BookScan and the New York Times Best Seller list, among other strategies. As a result of ResultSource's business practices, Amazon.com has stopped doing business with the company. The company was founded by Kevin Small.
William Vanderbloemen is an entrepreneur, pastor, speaker, author, and CEO and founder of Vanderbloemen Search Group, an executive search firm serving churches, ministries, and faith-based organizations.
Biblical Porn: Affect, Labor, and Pastor Mark Driscoll's Evangelical Empire is a 2018 book by Jessica Johnson about the culture of Mars Hill Church under the leadership of Mark Driscoll. Johnson is an anthropologist at the University of Washington in Seattle. The book uses research techniques including interviews with church leaders and members during the existence of the church. Publishers Weekly said it provided "seething critiques" of the male-focused, "muscular Christianity" espoused by the church but was "more an ethnography than a exposé of a megachurch's downfall". Foreword Reviews said it displayed "deep insight and an absence of judgment". A local Seattle review described it as a reminder of "toxic Christian masculinity" during a largely forgotten episode that is "almost impossible now to describe ... to someone who is new to Seattle". The author herself described the Seattle area as "definitely not immune to any of this" despite Seattle's "image" as progressive and irreligious.
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