Act 1
The show opens with a spoken prologue by two musical theatre writers, who have been commissioned to write a follow-up to their successful first musical by a theatre in the 'magical place called London’s West End,' which is home to many important musicals (and Mamma Mia!). They have decided to write about their own dating lives, adding big musical numbers and modern dance choreography to make it audiences think it's worth watching.
The show opens with a doorbell - a female writer arriving to her non-binary friend's flat on a Wednesday night following an unsuccessful date with a colleague from her ex-boyfriend’s (known as 'The Ex') company, after she broke down crying on discovering that 'The Ex' is moving to Paris with his new girlfriend. She asks her friend if she has left her favourite grey jumper at the flat, as she has lost it.
The duo begin to sing about their lives being single ('Why Am I So Single?'), with both discovering that they are equally as hopeless in finding love. They joke that all men are trash and decide to watch 'Friends' whilst drinking Prosecco, whilst the female friend decides to order pizza. However, they both begin to 'have a little joke' and break the fourth wall to address the audience directly, explaining they were joking about the non-binary friend's dating life being a success, when actually they had eight dates cancel in a row ('8 Dates'). Before resuming, they explain that, to protect their anonymity, their characters are called Oliver and Nancy, named after characters from their favourite musical, Oliver! With the fourth wall rebuilt, they then receive a phone call from their theatre agent Faye Ginn, saying that the Garrick Theatre are seeking an update on the new musical. Faye asks what their parents think about the show, with Nancy explaining that her mum is excited, but that her father passed away about ten years ago. They experience connectivity issues, as Oliver’s wireless internet needs fixing.
When the call ends, the two are not sure how which 'pocket' the musical should sit in, so decide to watch 'Friends' to distract themselves. They watch The Last One, where Rachel gets off the plane to rekindle her on-off relationship with Ross. Nancy talks about how frustrating these cliche love scenes are, explaining that it’s no wonder why their love lives are so tragic if they have to live up to these standards, which are everywhere in pop culture - from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to Titanic to Cars. The two then sing about how much they love 'Friends' and this particular scene ('I Got Off The Plane') but are informed by Ross and Rachel that the problem is the duo themselves.
Oliver and Nancy realise that they need to do something about their dating lives, if they are the problem ('Why Am I So Single? (Reprise)'). They both reflect on their previous dating experiences to figure out where they went wrong as 'case studies.' Nancy talks about her last date (prior to one earlier in the evening) and how it ended over brunch with Oliver and Nancy’s friend, Art Fulldodger, known as Artie. We flash back to their brunch at Olive-A-Twist, a cool and trendy brunch establishment recommended by Artie's boyfriend. During their brunch, Artie became frustrated at Nancy waiting for a reply from her date and deliberating on what to text him. He helps Nancy realise that she knows nothing about this guy and recommends that she end it ('C U Never').
Returning back to present day, they realise Artie is great at communication, and that's why he is good at having healthy, long term relationships. Oliver tells Nancy that, as they realised earlier, men are trash, and that most frogs stay frogs, no matter how many times you kiss them (referencing 'The Process and the Frog'). This leads Nancy to suggest that they both try and identify why they always attract these men by reviewing each others' dating profiles ('Meet Market'). Nancy suggests Oliver's profile hides their true self, leading to Oliver telling Nancy that she deliberately picks men she knows she is not attracted to. This creates tension, which is interrupted when their pizza arrives, where Oliver has an awkward conversation with the delivery driver, who is attracted to them. Nancy encourages Oliver to go get his number, which Oliver rejects, leading her to ask Oliver if they even know what they are looking for. Oliver reveals a Marilyn Monroe dress with giant pink bow to sing an 'extended joke' about their dream man keeping their relationship a secret ('Shhh!!!!').
Nancy reprimands Oliver and tells them that she knows that this fear and their constant joking about the situation is why they are so single, which Oliver takes offence to. Oliver then says that Nancy is so single because she is so focused on finding the perfect boyfriend that she doesn’t even think about who she really needs, to which she surprisingly agrees. Nancy says that she actually felt she found the perfect boyfriend in 'The Ex' but didn’t realise it until after she broke up with him. Oliver says to her that she could do much better than him but then Nancy reveals that she is willing to abandon everything to get back together with 'The Ex' if he randomly called her again one day to run away with him ('Just In Case'). Oliver then insists, as her best friend, that Nancy will move on. Nancy argues about Oliver’s trust issues when dating and says that they won’t understand the pain she felt unless they actually give people a chance, encouraging Oliver to be open to her about their issues. Oliver explains that they think it is a game for Nancy, and they do not want to play anymore.
As tensions are rising again, and Nancy is pressing Oliver further, the two find a bee in the flat and even though they are still hostile towards each other, they work together to get the bee out of the flat ('Interlude in B Minor'). When they succeed in getting the bee out of the flat, Nancy says this shows that they can do anything together and asks Oliver again to be open to her about their struggles. They agree, but only after a 15 minute intermission; Nancy says that they need a much better cliffhanger before an intermission occurs. Suddenly, Oliver’s doorbell rings.
Act 2
Returning from the break, Artie has arrived to see Nancy and Oliver, bringing them wine gums to commiserate with them about their love lives; revealing that Oliver called him whilst she was singing about abandoning it all. Artie explains that as a bisexual male, he was not attracted to either of them when they met at university. They recollect the night they all first met at a 2000's throwback club night, and flash back to their different versions of events ('Clubs Glorious Clubs'). It emerges that they both kissed each other that night - Nancy, in order to make a boy jealous, and Oliver to avoid a guy who was flirting with them. They went back to Oliver's flat to watch 'Oliver!' that evening and became friends since.
Artie leaves, and Nancy revisits Oliver saying that this exploration of why they are single is a game for her. Oliver explains that there's no question that she will end up in a happy relationship, moving to the Cotswolds ('No Question'); however, she says that she doesn't see there being a difference between them and encourages Oliver to breakthrough their fear and stop turning everything into a joke. She explains that she sees Oliver as a multi-faceted, spirit-lifting person, like a 'human disco ball,' but as she continues to press, Oliver becomes more manic and explains that the reason they put on a show is exactly because they are like a disco ball (‘Disco Ball’).
Oliver reveals to Nancy that their fear of letting people see their true self, and reliance on using humour, is because of shame, caused by homophobic and transphobic experiences that have happened to them as well as in society in general. They reference the use of ‘gay’ as an insult in schools, and a transphobic TV show where a character vomited when they realised they had kissed a transwoman.
Moved to tears, Nancy approaches Oliver, who is very self-conscious about the truths they’ve revealed. She realises that actually, the problem still is that ‘men are trash’ and they decide that this is what their big, fancy musical should be about (‘Why Am I So Single? (Reprise: Pig in the City)’). They decide that a song called ‘Men R Trash’ should be the big finale song and go on to write it then and there (‘Men R Trash’), but during the second verse, Nancy’s phone rings. ‘The Ex’ – revealed to be called Charles Dickhead - is not moving to Paris with his new girlfriend after all; they have split up and he has asked Nancy to move to Paris with him instead, after hearing about her reaction on the date with his colleague.
Oliver finds the situation ridiculous and laughable, however, Nancy has decided she is going to go. Explaining that she accuses Oliver of avoiding serious issues, Oliver says that they never discuss the impact that the death of Nancy’s father has had on her and her relationships. She reacts angrily, telling Oliver that no one has ever been in love with them, and that at this rate, no one ever will. Oliver reacts in a supportive way, encouraging Nancy to go, before realising that they are now alone and that they want her to stay deciding to send her a voice note (‘Just in Case (Reprise)’).
Nancy realises she is having doubts following their conversation, changes her mind and returns back to Oliver; however, she has not received the voice note due to Oliver’s connection issues. She sits with Oliver and explains how her father’s death has made her feel lost, like the grey jumper she cannot find, and that is why she has been romanticising her relationship with ‘The Ex’ (‘Lost’).
The duo confess their ‘friendship love’ for each other, with Nancy telling Oliver that they are not a disco ball, but an exquisite chandelier, and that she will be there, no matter how their gender identity evolves. Oliver explains that Nancy is not in fact like her lost jumper, and they do in fact have it at the flat. They sing ‘I’d Do Anything’ from their favourite musical to each other, deciding that maybe they are not so single after all (‘Why Am I Still Reprising?’).
Oliver suggests that their love story should be the big and epic story that forms the basis of their new musical, with Nancy suggesting that this should be the end – the characters realising that, for today, their love for each other is enough. They write the closing song (‘Better Off Love Story’).
Returning to the start of the musical, the characters break the fourth wall for an epilogue, as they watch the musical they’ve written. They become worried that perhaps their characters are whinging and moaning too much and suggest adding something in to make it more self-aware, before deciding not to bother. They conclude that it was what they needed to see today – a show where friendship love, and friendship love alone, is the happy ever after.
