Groomsman

Last updated February 23, 2024

A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the groom in a wedding ceremony. Usually, the groom selects close friends and relatives to serve as groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man.

In a military officer's wedding, the roles of groomsmen are replaced by swordsmen of the sword honor guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

The first recorded use of the word ‘groomsmen’, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, was as recently as 1698, although the words ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ both date back to Old English.^[1]

Duties

The most visible duty of the groomsmen is helping guests find their places before the ceremony and to stand near the groom during the wedding ceremony.

Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events such as a bachelor party, also called a stag do or buck's night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.^[2]

Bridegroom-men formerly had important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" or kidnap the bride, or from the need to defend the bride from would-be kidnappers.^[3]^[4]^[5]

Best man

The best man is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding. While the role is older, the earliest surviving written use of the term best man comes from 1782, observing that "best man and best maid" in the Scottish dialect are equivalent to "bride-man and bride-maid" in England.^[6]

In most modern Anglophone countries, the groom extends this honor to someone who is close to him, generally a close friend or a relative (such as a sibling or cousin). During a wedding ceremony the best man stands next to the groom, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant (such as a civil celebrant, priest, rabbi, minister, or other religious figure), the bride, groom, and best man. This is common in some western countries, although in others the best man and bridesmaid participate on an equal footing.

While the best man's required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of a western white wedding, the best man will typically:

Assist the groom on the wedding day,
Organise a stag do,^[7]
Keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony,
Stand next to the groom during the ceremony,
Act as a legal witness to the marriage and therefore sign the marriage certificate, and
Prepare a "best man's speech" to be read at the reception^[8]

In various countries and cultures

The best man is not a universal custom.^[9] Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may be quite different when compared to other areas of the world.

In the Anglosphere, it is traditional for the best man to give a short speech.
In Zambia, a best man is expected to lead processions both at the wedding, and at preliminary events. This includes pre-wedding dance rehearsals, at which the best man is always expected to be in attendance, and usually is expected to give an outstanding and outlandish dance-performance on the actual wedding-day.^{[ citation needed ]}
In Uganda, a best man is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife, and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple. ^{[ citation needed ]}
In Bhutan, the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours. ^{[ citation needed ]}
In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros, or religious sponsor. The koumbaros (or koumbara, if a woman) is an honored participant who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. Sometimes, this person also pays for most of the wedding expenses.
In Ukraine, the best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the wedding festivities. In a traditional wedding, when he or the groom stepped away, the bride got "kidnapped" or had a shoe stolen. Then the groom or the best man had to pay a ransom in exchange for returning the bride, usually by paying money (which was given to the bride) or by doing something embarrassing. The custom is less common nowadays due to frequent conflicts arising from the differences in the expected sum of money.^[10]

Bachelor party

In the past, the bachelor party was typically scheduled for a convenient evening during the week before the wedding. A type of farewell dinner, it was always hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, entirely by the groom.^[11] The dinner was seen as the groom's last chance to entertain his friends as a single man; after the wedding, dinner parties at his home would always be presided over by his wife in her role as hostess. In recent times this practice has evolved. In many cultures, it is a customary practice for the groom to bear all the expenses of his bachelor party. This tradition highlights the groom's role in hosting a final celebration with his friends before his marriage.

Common slang names for this event are bachelor party, stag do, or bucks' night in different parts of the world. In many areas, this dinner is now most commonly organized by the best man; the costs can be shared by either all of the participants or all of the participants except for the groom, who becomes the guest of honor.^[12]

Related Research Articles

A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, races, religions, denominations, countries, social classes, and sexual orientations. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by a couple, presentation of a gift, and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or celebrant. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers, or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony, as well as superstitious customs.

A white wedding is a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding originating in Great Britain.

A wedding reception is a party usually held after the completion of a marriage ceremony as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receive society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts provide their choice of food and drink, although a wedding cake is popular.

Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some Western traditional wedding ceremonies. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman and often the bride's close friend or relative. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.

A bachelor party, also known as a stag weekend, stag do or stag party, or a buck's night, is a party held/arranged by the man who is shortly to enter marriage.

A bachelorette party or hen night is a party held for a woman who will soon be married. While Beth Montemurro concludes that the bachelorette party is modelled after the centuries-old stag night in the US, which is itself historically a dinner given by the bridegroom to his friends shortly before his wedding, Sheila Young argues that its British counterpart evolved from a number of earlier pre-wedding traditions for women whose origins are obscure but which have been around for at least a century in factories and offices across the UK. Despite its reputation as "a sodden farewell to maiden days" or "an evening of debauchery", these events can simply be parties given in honor of the bride-to-be, in the style that is common to that social circle.

A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding.

The money dance, dollar dance, or apron dance is an event at some wedding receptions in various cultures. During a money dance, male guests pay to dance briefly with the bride, and sometimes female guests pay to dance with the groom.

The traditional Vietnamese wedding is one of the most important ceremonies in Vietnamese culture, which is influenced by Confucian and Buddhist ideologies.

Iranian wedding, also known as Persian wedding, consists of traditions rooted in Zoroastrianism, the primary religion of pre-Islamic Iran. Though the concepts and theories of marriage have been changed by Islamic traditions, the ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in pre-Islamic Iran. Although modern-day Iran is a multi-ethnic country, Iranian wedding traditions are embraced by the majority of ethnic groups in Iran.

Traditional Russian weddings can last between two days and one week. The celebration usually involves dancing, singing, toasting, and banqueting. The best man and bridesmaid are called "Witnesses" or "Свидетели" in Russian. The ceremony and the ring exchange take place on the first day of the wedding. Russian weddings ceremonies have undertaken a certain amount of Western traditions, including incorporating maids of honour into the wedding party.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Engagement party</span>

An engagement party, also known as a betrothal party or fort, is a party held to celebrate a couple's recent engagement and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party, but many modern couples host their own celebration.

Arabic weddings are ceremonies of matrimony that contain Arab influences or Arabic culture.

In the United States and Canada, weddings follow traditions often based on religion, culture, and social norms. Most wedding traditions in the United States and Canada were assimilated from other, generally European, countries. Marriages in the U.S. and Canada are typically arranged by the participants and ceremonies may either be religious or civil. There is a tradition that the prospective bridegroom ask his future father-in-law for his blessing.

"JK Wedding Entrance Dance" is a viral video originally uploaded to YouTube on July 19, 2009, featuring the wedding of Jill Peterson and Kevin Heinz, using "Forever" by Chris Brown as the song for their wedding march. In its first 48 hours, the video accumulated more than 3.5 million views. The original upload of the video was the third most popular video on YouTube in 2009, and as of July 2021 had been viewed over 100 million times. Time magazine ranked the video at number fifteen on its list of the fifty greatest YouTube videos.

Indian wedding clothes are elaborate set of clothes worn by the bride, bridegroom, and other relatives attending the wedding.

A bridegroom is a man who is about to be married or who is newlywed. In some circles, it is a modern alternative to bride or groom.

<i>The Wedding Party</i> (2016 film) 2016 film by Kemi Adetiba

The Wedding Party is a 2016 Nigerian romantic comedy drama directed by Kemi Adetiba. It premiered on 8 September 2016 at the Toronto International Film Festival in Canada and on 26 November 2016 at Eko Hotel and Suites in Lagos. The film was released worldwide on 16 December 2016, and became the highest grossing Nigerian film; a record which was broken in 2021 by Omo Ghetto: The Saga.

The bedding ceremony refers to the wedding custom of putting the newlywed couple together in the marital bed in front of numerous witnesses, usually family, friends, and neighbors, thereby completing the marriage.

References

↑ "Groomsmen Gifts – History & FAQ" . Retrieved 2021-08-11.
↑ "Wedding Cars". wedding Limo. Archived from the original on 5 March 2016. Retrieved 12 January 2016.
↑ T. Sharper Knowlson (2008) [1910]. The Origins of Popular Superstitions and Customs (Forgotten Books). Forgotten Books. pp. 100–102. ISBN 978-1-60506-458-1. Archived from the original on 2010-11-11. Retrieved 2010-11-30.
↑ Leopold Wagner (1995). Manners, Customs and Observances. Omnigraphics Inc. pp. 61–62. ISBN 978-1-60506-798-8.
↑ Chisholm, Hugh, ed. (1911). "Bride" . Encyclopædia Britannica . Vol. 4 (11th ed.). Cambridge University Press. p. 528.
↑ "Definition of Best Man at Oxford English Dictionary". Oxford University Press. The citation comes from Sir John Sinclair's Observations on the Scottish Dialect. The related term "best maid" has an earlier attestation.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: postscript (link)
↑ "Best Man Duties". Archived from the original on 2012-11-01. Retrieved 2012-07-27. Best Man Duties
↑ "Best Man Speech | Examples, tips, pointers, templates, samples". Archived from the original on 2013-11-08. Retrieved 2013-11-06. Best Man Speech Examples
↑ "International Wedding Customs". Archived from the original on 2008-05-03. Retrieved 2008-06-20.
↑ "Essential Guide to Ukrainian Wedding Traditions!". What's On Kyiv. Retrieved 2021-01-17.
↑ Post, Emily (1922). Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home'. Funk & Wagnalls Company. pp. 335–337.
↑ Post, Peggy (2006). Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette (5 ed.). London: Collins. pp. 183–184. ISBN 0-06-074504-5.

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[1] "Groomsmen Gifts – History & FAQ" . Retrieved 2021-08-11.

[2] "Wedding Cars". wedding Limo. Archived from the original on 5 March 2016. Retrieved 12 January 2016.

[isbn1-60506-458-0-3] T. Sharper Knowlson (2008) [1910]. The Origins of Popular Superstitions and Customs (Forgotten Books). Forgotten Books. pp. 100–102. ISBN 978-1-60506-458-1. Archived from the original on 2010-11-11. Retrieved 2010-11-30.

[isbn1-55888-186-7-4] Leopold Wagner (1995). Manners, Customs and Observances. Omnigraphics Inc. pp. 61–62. ISBN 978-1-60506-798-8.

[e1911-5] Chisholm, Hugh, ed. (1911). "Bride" . Encyclopædia Britannica . Vol. 4 (11th ed.). Cambridge University Press. p. 528.

[6] "Definition of Best Man at Oxford English Dictionary". Oxford University Press. The citation comes from Sir John Sinclair's Observations on the Scottish Dialect. The related term "best maid" has an earlier attestation.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: postscript (link)

[7] "Best Man Duties". Archived from the original on 2012-11-01. Retrieved 2012-07-27. Best Man Duties

[8] "Best Man Speech | Examples, tips, pointers, templates, samples". Archived from the original on 2013-11-08. Retrieved 2013-11-06. Best Man Speech Examples

[urlInternational_Wedding_Customs-9] "International Wedding Customs". Archived from the original on 2008-05-03. Retrieved 2008-06-20.

[10] "Essential Guide to Ukrainian Wedding Traditions!". What's On Kyiv. Retrieved 2021-01-17.

[1922_Post-11] Post, Emily (1922). Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home'. Funk & Wagnalls Company. pp. 335–337.

[isbn0-06-074504-5-12] Post, Peggy (2006). Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette (5 ed.). London: Collins. pp. 183–184. ISBN 0-06-074504-5.

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