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A Pick Me Girl, also known as Pickme, or Pickme Girl, is a term used on the Internet to describe a woman who seeks male approval by rejecting traditionally feminine traits. Their behavior generally suggests that they perceive themselves and wish to be different from other women. [1] [2]
A Pick Me Girl is a girl or woman who seeks to emphasize her difference from other people of the same gender. She favors hobbies that are popular with men, such as soccer, video games and rock music. On the contrary, she expresses her disdain for traditionally feminine interests, such as fashion or cosmetics. The Pick Me Girl may disparage other girls as too emotional or superficial, and seeks to make friends mainly with men. [3]
From a sociological point of view, this behavior is often seen as a form of internalized misogyny, often involving self-objectification, and based on competition between women and prioritization of male attention. Often humorously presented on social networks, notably TikTok and Twitter (X), it features both male and female gender stereotypes. [4] [5]
One of the first notable occurrences of the expression appears in a 2005 episode of the television series Grey's Anatomy , in which the character of Meredith Grey, portrayed by Ellen Pompeo, declares: "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." In the context of the scene, this line is addressed to Derek Shepherd, played by Patrick Dempsey, and expresses the wish to be preferred to his wife. [6]
The expression "pickme-girl" appeared on social networks as early as 2006, when Twitter users were already making fun of women who bragged about being married, as opposed to single women. [7]
It gained visibility and gained the meaning we now know in 2016 when the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe was introduced, with numerous publications mocking women seeking to appear more "unique" to attract men's attention. [8]
In the 2020s, the Internet meme became popular on TikTok, where female creators published parody videos criticizing this type of behavior. Between 2021 and 2024, TikTok videos associated with this hashtag reached over 2 billion views. [9]
Similar to the concept of Pick Me Girl, the term Pick Me Boy refers to a man who seeks the attention or sympathy of women by devaluing himself or criticizing masculine behaviors perceived as dominant. This profile is often associated with attitudes close to incel culture and the idea that women prefer toxic men or bad boys. This posture aims to inspire compassion or approval, as opposed to an image of the "overly nice" boy who presents himself as misunderstood or marginalized. [10]
