Definition
A "Pick Me Girl" is a girl or woman who seeks to emphasize her superiority from other people of the same gender.
People often use the term interchangeably with "Not Like Other Girls"; women who reject more traditionally feminine traits and boast about it in a comparative, competitive way. While these two may correlate, they also differ in various ways.
A woman can be described as both a "Pick Me" and "Not Like Other Girls". In such case, they might favor hobbies that are popular with men, such as: soccer, video games, and rock music. They will often express disdain for traditionally feminine interests such as, fashion or cosmetics, and more significantly towards women who have those interests. This characteristic is relevant to differentiate women who simply enjoy more traditionally masculine hobbies from those who use it as a means to appeal to men. Using the term incorrectly to describe women who are not traditionally feminine can reinforce gender essentialism and stereotypes.
Some "Pick Me Girls" may not fall into the "Not Like Other Girls" category, and be in fact traditionally feminine. They might tend to be more religious and believe that women who are not traditional are morally inferior, and have undesirable behavior. Such women believe they are more "desirable" for being more agreeable and generally "easier to deal with". Generally they will often belittle other women for being vulgar, masculine, or even feminists. In this case, they don't see themselves as necessarily different, more so as valuable or of higher standard.
The "Pick Me Girl" archetype may also belittle other girls for being too emotional or superficial, and seeks to make friends mainly or only with men. [3]
From a sociological standpoint, this behavior is often seen as a form of internalized misogyny, often involving self-objectification. This behavior is likely rooted in competition between women and prioritization of male attention. Often humorously presented on social media, notably TikTok and Twitter (X), the "Pick Me Girl" stereotype has managed to span both female and male gender stereotypes. [4] [5] Creating a new stereotype for the "Pick Me Boy" and the "Performative Male".
Timeline
The first notable occurrence of the expression appeared in a 2005 episode of the television series Grey's Anatomy , in which the character of Meredith Grey, portrayed by Ellen Pompeo, declares: "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." In the context of the scene, this line is addressed to Derek Shepherd, played by Patrick Dempsey, and expresses the wish to be preferred to his wife. [6]
The expression "pickme-girl" appeared on social networks as early as 2006, when Twitter users were already making fun of women who bragged about being married, as opposed to single women. [7]
It gained popularity and the meaning we now know in 2016 when the hashtag, #TweetLikeAPickMe was introduced. With numerous publications mocking women seeking to appear more "unique" to attract men's attention the phrase and its new definition began to catch on. [8]
In the 2020s, the Internet meme became popular on TikTok, where female creators published parody videos criticizing this type of behavior. Between 2021 and 2024, TikTok videos associated with this hashtag reached over 2 billion views. [9]
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