The interests of a performative male may include Clairo (top left), a matcha latte (top right), tote bags (bottom left) or wired headphones (bottom right).
The performative male, also known as the performative man or matcha male,[1] is an internet meme and term referring to an archetype of man which was popularized on social media in 2025. It generally involves displays of progressivism or otherwise performative feminism, as well as emotional sensitivity.[2][3] Examples of such displays include reading books by feminist writers like All About Love by bell hooks, listening to female indie artists such as Clairo, drinking matcha lattes, and owning a Labubu. These displays are typically done as a means of superficially appealing to progressive women with the intent to romantically pursue them.[4][5]
The term has been used both seriously, to criticize the insincerity of some Generation Z men, as well as satirically for humorous purposes online.[4] Some have pointed it out as the 2020s manifestation of earlier alt-male archetypes like the soft boy[6] or hipsters, or the male equivalent of the pick me girl.[7][8][9] Others have criticized the meme for stereotyping men as manipulative, discouraging them from reading and engaging in progressive causes.[10][5]
Definition
Charles Thrush, writing for Block Club Chicago, defined the performative male archetype as a man with "traditionally feminine hobbies with the sole intent of cultivating an inauthentic aesthetic that might appeal to progressive women."[11] Mahalia Chang, writing in GQ, stated that, in his pursuit of the female gaze, the performative male "is doing his mating dance, puffing out his feathers, in pursuit of female attention. Think of our performative male like a female gaze caricature on steroids... The performative male is designed to look alluring and non-threatening and intelligent, to and for women."[12]
Some have deemed[who?] the performative male to be both shallow in such interests, as well as deeply manipulative in his approach to women, while others consider him to be a symptom of the overall sensibilities of performance engendered by social media writ large.[19][4] Genevieve Bates, in The Week, called the archetype "due in part to dating apps" in which men are expected to perform or present themselves potentially inauthentically for romantic gain.[20]
History
The specific terming of a "performative male" was popularized as an internet meme starting in 2025 as it began going viral through circulation on social media.[21] However, think pieces about supposed performative males, cast at those who read feminist or women-written literature in public, were being written as early as August 2024 by The Times.[22]
Cosmopolitan stated, in August, that, "While this genre of man has always existed, he's recently started making the rounds online in the form of memes playfully poking fun at this kind of performative male behavior."[23] In a similar vein, Her World called it one of many archetypes in a longstanding history of "alternative male personas," and Them called the archetype "nothing new" and akin to archetypes of previous years like the "toxic softboi" or "male manipulator," albeit with the mention that it reached a "fever pitch" in August.[5][7]The Independent described it as an "arguably modern evolution of the hipster."[24]
Contests
A participant in a performative male contest
Following the tradition of 2024 look-alike contests, many performative male contests have been held in cities around the United States, for example a competition in Capitol Hill, Seattle on August 9 organized by Lanna Rain and Guinevere which involved dozens of contestants, brought in many spectators, and attracted attention online; the winner was awarded with a record player and a vinyl of Submarine by The Marías.[25][26] Shortly after, Calvin Thai, a matcha pop-up co-owner in Chicago, held a similar competition in Wicker Park upon hearing about it.[11]
Later, two similar contests were scheduled to be held in San Francisco. One of the organizers was Kake Jin, a 20-year-old who decided to host one there after seeing one happen in her home country, Canada.[27][28] The contests drew hundreds of attendees and made use of artificial intelligence to rate each contestant on a scale of 0 to 100.[29] It was sponsored by several entities, including a startup and a matcha company.[30][31]
In September, performative male contests were held among the student bodies at Cornell University, the University of Florida, the University of Memphis, Baylor University, and Temple University.[32][33][34][35][36][37] A contest was also held at Yale University, at the Women's Table by Cross Campus, after which administrators stated that the event violated "Yale's policy on the use of outdoor space." Some organizers called it a "made-up rule," while other students called out the administration's hypocrisy in arresting pro-Palestinian protesters on campus on those policy grounds in 2024 while not punishing the organizers of the performative male contest for the same violation.[38]
Criticism
Some have criticized the discourse about performative males, with some men online stating that their feminine-leaning interests do not exist for female validation, nor to appease the trend cycle, but due to inherent, genuine interest.[12] Others, such as Caroline Cubbin writing for the New York Post, have stated that criticizing men for reading leads to anti-intellectualism.[10]
Additionally, James Factora, in an article for Them, criticized the ongoing discourse in its implication and validation of a "non-performative male" which may be worse: "Intentionally or not, these memes only reinforce the idea that the manosphere's version of manhood is the default state of masculinity, and that any variations are an aberration, or worse, a farce."[5] Similarly, Noni Reginato of Cosmopolitan Australia wrote that an allegedly performative male was still a much better alternative to the men who are "increasingly being co-opted into the right-wing agenda by the likes of Andrew Tate"; it also celebrated men earnestly pursuing supposedly progressive or feminine interests.[39]University of California, Los Angeles professor Dr. Juliet Williams told The Independent that the meme's pile-on effect against men could run the risk of alienating those with "earnest attempts to connect with the opposite sex" and/or "answer the feminist call."[40]
Syeda Khaula Saad, writing in The Huffington Post, stated that the popularity of the "performative male" was reinforcing gender roles, othering men from alternative masculinities, and shutting down what could be "an act of resistance against toxic masculinity."[41] Likewise, The Daily Tar Heel argued to leave the alleged "performative male" alone and that the meme "sets us back years, as it encourages men to embrace a conformity driven by stereotypes of emotional immaturity and oblivion" rather than simply embracing one's femininity as authentically as possible.[42]
Alexander Stoffel argued in The Conversation that discussions about the "performative male" should be less about men themselves and more about "how shallow social media is" in general, while also pointing out that the meme was rooted in a cynicism that leads to a "toxic public environment."[43]Rachel Connolly, writing for The Guardian, argued that critiques of "performative righteousness" should be applied not only to young, straight men but also "women who take care to post highlighted and pencilled-over pages of bell hooks to Instagram" but don't participate in any activism. Connolly also criticized the term as a whole as "pop psychology" after having received "a few PR emails" in which "experts" attempted to seriously identify traits, or "red flags," to be wary of in alleged performative males.[3]
Gender peformativity
Feminist philosopher Judith Butler argues that gender is a fluid mix of cultural norms, historical formations, family influence, psychic realities, desires, wishes[44], and ultimately a socially constructed identity "instituted through a stylized repetition of acts" over time where the "actors themselves, come to believe and to perform in the mode of belief."[45] They contend that gender should be thought of as a verb instead of a noun. Gender is essentally, "not something one is," but something "one does" or an act: a "doing" rather than a "being" according to Butler.[46] In Them, James Factora writes: "What are memes if not meaning created through reiteration?"[5] They also point out that the word "performative" may be employed incorrectly in the discourse about performative males, as the term is being used to refer to virtue signalling– presenting yourself as an ally for an opinion, cause, or social justice movement in order to "look good" rather than aligning yourself with the values associated with it – rather than gender performativity.[43] Alexander Stoffel writes in The Conversation that "there is no such thing as an "authentic male". There are only different performances of masculinity. What people are commenting on when they call someone a "performative male" is simply a different kind of performance that is less traditional and less naturalised."[43] He further questions the type of culture the "performative male" trend creates, stating that "assuming every man with a tote bag is a con artist breeds a culture of surveillance, paranoia, distrust, and the creepy belief that strangers owe us details of their private lives."[43]
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