Plot
Captain Square and his two NCOs are having a drink in the local pub. Square tells the landlord the story of when he was with Lawrence of Arabia, fighting the Turks. He remarks that his golden watch saved him from dehydration; he left it in his mouth for three days! He demonstrates this to the landlord just as Mainwaring and Wilson enter. Mainwaring is curious, and Wilson quips that he is "watching his drink". Square reminds Mainwaring of the big exercise that coming Sunday, and Square's sergeant remarks that all Home Guard platoons in the area are taking part.
The following parade, the platoon meets up to discuss tactics. However, the Verger is snooping around, taking notes to deliver to Captain Square because he is fed up with the way the Walmington platoon treat him. The Eastgate platoon will be defending a windmill, and the Walmington platoon have to find a way of planting a dummy bomb in the windmill without being spotted. Jones suggests a tunnel, but that is soon dismissed. Wilson suggests an idea from a Shakespeare play he once saw, where the king dressed his troops up in bushes so they could attack the offending castle. Mainwaring thinks this is a good idea.
Walker suggests a man in a diving suit to push a dummy log along the river to a convenient spot, and then the "log" can waddle over to the windmill and plant the bomb. Frazer announces that he has inherited a diving suit from a late friend of his, Wally Stewart, who died from the "dreaded bends" due to being pulled up too quickly on his last voyage. It is eventually decided that Jones will be inside the dummy log and Frazer, in the diving suit, will push Jones along the river until he is level with the windmill, at which point he will give a tug on his lifeline. This will be the signal to announce the first diversion, which will be initiated by Walker and Wilson, by Mainwaring's bird warbler. The second diversion will be initiated by Godfrey and Walker. When Jones reaches the windmill, he will climb out of the log and plant the "bomb". As they are practicing, ARP Warden Hodges arrives and finds the platoon's plan ridiculous (especially Jones' imitations of the gurgling water), and fetches the 2nd ARP Warden, who asks, "Are they on our side?".
On the day of the exercise, the Verger is still snooping from the church graveyard, using a hidden telephone to contact Square. Frazer and Jones proceed to move down the river, and Mainwaring launches the first diversion: Wilson and Walker have fifteen rifles attached to poles and are marching up and down behind a wall. The Verger reports this to Square, who does not believe him and thinks the platoon are drilling. Frazer pushes Jones' dummy log onto the bank, but he cannot get the flap open, and falls back in the river. Although he manages to get out again, and head for the windmill, he is waylaid by a playful sheepdog. However, the Eastgate platoon are distracted by Mainwaring's second diversion: Walker and Godfrey have put tin helmets on a flock of sheep and have taken them up to the mill. The Verger and Square are fooled into believing that the platoon is dressed up as sheep with tin helmets on.
Jones eventually reaches the windmill and proceeds to plant the "bomb". However, it is still attached to him, so when Square throws the bomb back, Jones gets caught up in the sails. Mainwaring proceeds to accept their surrender, but Square refuses. They argue over who the victor is and notice that the sails are moving, with Jones on them. Eventually, after Mainwaring fails to stop the windmill, Jones jumps off and lands in the river.
Radio episode
"Don’t Forget the Diver" is the 22nd adapted radio episode, and the first of the second radio series (after the Christmas special episode, "Present Arms"), of Dad's Army. It has been regularly rebroadcast on BBC Radio 4 Extra or its predecessors.
Synopsis
The synopsis remains virtually unchanged from the TV episode, although there are a few minor changes in terms of actions performed by certain characters.
Notes
The main change from the original TV episode is that a watermill is substituted for the windmill. There is no scene in the radio episode in the pub or involving Square's survival trick with his pocket-watch.
Cast
Only two guest actors appeared in this radio episode, namely Edward Sinclair as The Verger and the actor who played Square's sergeant.
"The Deadly Attachment" is the first episode of the sixth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Wednesday, October 31, 1973. It is arguably one of the best-known episodes of the series because of the comic aspects of a rare encounter between the platoon and the Germans. A scene in which a German officer demands to know Private Pike's name, and Captain Mainwaring says, "Don't tell him, Pike!" has been judged as one of the top three greatest comedy moments of British television.
"Battle of the Giants!" is the first special Christmas episode of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 27 December 1971. The episode was recorded 19 October 1971.
"Man Hunt" is the twelfth episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 27 November 1969.
"The Big Parade" is the first episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 25 September 1970.
"Sgt – Save My Boy!" is the fourth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 16 October 1970.
"The Test" is the tenth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 27 November 1970.
"A. Wilson (Manager)?" is the eleventh episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 4 December 1970.
"Asleep in the Deep" is the first episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 6 October 1972. The title may have come from the song, Asleep in the Deep that is referenced by Private Walker in the episode.
"Fallen Idol" is the thirteenth and final episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 18 December 1970.
"If the Cap Fits..." is the sixth episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 10 November 1972.
"The Honourable Man" is the fifth episode of the sixth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 28 November 1973.
"Getting the Bird" is the fourth episode of the fifth series of the British television situation comedy Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 27 October 1972.
"The Royal Train" is the third episode of the sixth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 14 November 1973, the day of the wedding of Princess Anne and Mark Phillips.
"Everybody's Trucking" is the first episode of the seventh series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 15 November 1974.
"The King was in His Counting House" is the seventh episode of the fifth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 17 November 1972.
"Brain Versus Brawn" is the tenth episode of the fifth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 8 December 1972. It was also adapted for radio and broadcast as part of the second radio series in 1975. This was the highest-rated episode of Dad's Army, with 18.5 million viewers.
"Gorilla Warfare" is the third episode of the seventh season of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 29 November 1974.
"The Making of Private Pike" is the second episode of the ninth and final series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 9 October 1977.
"Wake Up Walmington" is the first episode of the ninth and final series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 2 October 1977.
"Present Arms" is the first episode of the second BBC Radio 4 series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally broadcast on 24 December 1974, as a Christmas Special. "Present Arms" was compiled for radio from two television episodes, "Battle of the Giants!" and "Shooting Pains", and ran for a duration of 60 minutes, twice the length of a normal radio episode.
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