SA helps recovering "sexaholics." According to the group, a sexaholic is someone for whom "lust has become an addiction."[1] SA distinguishes itself from other S groups by defining sexual sobriety as no sex with self or with partners other than with one's spouse "in the marriage between a man and a woman",[2] and progressive victory over lust.
"In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves. Thus, for the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. For the unmarried sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind. And for all of us, single and married alike, sexual sobriety also includes progressive victory over lust".[3]
The group uses the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the book "Sexaholics Anonymous" (often referred to as "The White Book") as a guide. The White Book explains that "the sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop."[1]
History
Sexaholics Anonymous was founded by Roy K (in twelve-step fellowships it is customary to refer to members by their first name and the first initial of their last name, in order to preserve their anonymity). SA received permission from AA to use its Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in 1979.[2]
Roy K died from cancer on the afternoon of September 15, 2009.[4] He had been sexually sober since January 31, 1976.[5]
From the earliest attempts by Roy K to found SA in the 1970s, and throughout the history of SA, some members have sought to change the group's concept of sexual sobriety.[6] This was an attempt to generalize marriage similar to the 12 Step concept from Step 3 of "God as you understand God". It was an attempt to endorse as sexually sober, sexual activity by couples, not legally married, whether they be of the same or opposite sex. The fellowship did not accept this and, as a result, in 1991 some SA members and groups left SA to form Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA), citing the SA sobriety definition's lack of endorsement of same sex relationships and committed relationships. Murray R, one of the SRA founders had served on the SA General Service Board and had long attempted to change the SA sobriety definition to include committed relationships with either the same or opposite sex.[7]
As early as 1991 Roy was writing to the fellowship regarding same-sex acting out. In an article titled Principles Corroborating SA's Interpretation of Sexual Sobriety[8] Roy wrote, "Ever since attending the April 1986 and 1987 NYC Marathons, I have been examining my own assumptions in the same-sex area. That year I wrote a letter to a same-sex member sharing my thoughts; it now has the title "Recovery Reveals Our False Assumptions." That paper, which follows, gives reasons from within our common recovery experience why I believe we in SA should not endorse or validate, even indirectly, same-sex or "committed relationship" sexualizing in SA." In the section titled "The Great Same-Sex Controversy" Roy goes on to explain how society was divided on the "nature vs. nurture" argument about homosexuality, "Intense controversies rage about this issue in every area of modern life in highly polarized and publicized passion. It is one of the most explosive political issues of the day. Congress is divided. Religions and churches are divided. The Twelve Step program is divided. The same-sex culture itself is divided. The "experts" are divided. The point here is this: For SA to validate same-sex sexualizing in SA, even indirectly, would have us endorsing a highly controversial biological theory and political movement against our Tenth Tradition. If we validate same-sex sexualizing as normative for the sexaholic in recovery, and it turns out not to be normative, SA will have been promoting an untruth and doing a devilish disservice, supporting the problem instead of recovery. That's an awesome responsibility we're dealing with here—human lives!"[9]
The issue came up again in the late 1990s. A survey was held, reaching out to various individual meetings through the regional councils and local Intergroups. A solid majority of responders felt that the sobriety definition did not require clarification. Agitation on the issue continued due to a perception that the ambiguous nature of the survey questions rendered the results meaningless. The Chair of the SA Delegates Assembly summed up this ambiguity: "I received conflicting opinions about the meaning of the January 1999 vote that we do not need to clarify the SA sobriety definition. Many (probably most) were convinced this vote meant that we are already clear on the meaning of traditional SA sobriety and no further clarification is needed. Others were equally convinced this vote meant that "spouse" and "marriage" could be interpreted as understood by each member. Some were convinced that SA is afraid to "say what it means and mean what it says" [10]
On July 9, 1999, the General Delegates Assembly, meeting at an international conference in Cleveland, unanimously voted (9-0) to clarify the definition of "spouse" to be "one's partner in a marriage between a man and a woman."[11] This is known as the Cleveland Clarification or the Cleveland Statement of Principle. It was overwhelmingly accepted by the membership at the group, intergroup and regional levels. In 2000 same-sex attracted SA members expressed their support for the Cleveland Clarification in a letter to SA delegates and trustees signed by 66 members from 7 countries.[12] Candidates for membership in the SA Board of Trustees, are now required to affirm the SA Sobriety Definition including the Cleveland Clarification.[citation needed]
This controversy continues to circulate within the fellowship. The General Delegate Assembly (GDA) "is the policy making body of SA."[13] Any Delegate is free to propose a motion at the GDA to debate the SA sobriety definition. SA Conferences are about recovery, not for debating policy matters like the sobriety definition.[14] Essay, the quarterly international SA newsletter, states the principle in its Editorial Philosophy: "SA’s sobriety definition is not debated, since it distinguishes SA from other sex addiction fellowships. Essay is not a forum for non-SA sobriety."[15]
In July 2016, the SA General Delegates Assembly(GDA) passed a motion further entrenching the 1999 Cleveland Statement of Principle: "In SA's sobriety definition, the term "spouse" refers to one's partner in a marriage between a man and a woman". The motion requires the inclusion of the Statement of Principle in all SA literature on the SA website home page. Further, the motion declared that “Meetings that do not adhere to and follow ...the Statement of Principle ... are not SA meetings and shall not call themselves SA meetings” [16]
SA has attracted a subsection of the same-sex attracted population who seek not to act sexually on such attractions. At the July 2007 SA International Convention a survey was conducted of 176 SA members. Asked the object of their sexual fantasy and acting out, 23% nominated same-sex and a further 7% indicated both genders.[17] Topic meetings on same-sex issues are held at SA International Conferences and personal stories of same–sex recovery appear in Essay, the official SA quarterly publication.[18] There also exist other organizations which serve such individuals; see Ex-gay.
International conventions
All SA & S-Anon conventions from inception to 2016 have been held in the United States, except July 1992 and July 1997 which were both held in Canada. In 2017, the first SA International Convention was held outside North America in Israel, Middle East. In January 2019 we held our first International Convention in Spain.[19]
July 25–26, 1981 - Simi Valley, CA
January 28–30, 1983 - Simi Valley, CA
December 9–11, 1983 - Simi Valley, CA
June 13, 1984 - Salt Lake City, UT
December 7–9, 1984 - Phoenix, AZ
December, 1985 - Oklahoma City, OK
June, 1986 - Kansas City, KS
December, 1986 - St. Louis, MO
June, 1987 - Bozeman, MT
December, 1987 - Los Angeles, CA
July, 1988 - Rochester, NY
January, 1989 - Salt Lake City, UT
July, 1989 - Milwaukee, WI
January, 1990 - Nashville, TN
July, 1990 - Washington, DC
January 11–13, 1991 - Oklahoma City, OK, "There is a Solution"
July, 1991 - Chicago, IL
January, 1992 - San Diego, CA
July, 1992 - Vancouver, BC, Canada
January, 1993 - New York, NY
July, 1993 - Nashville, TN
January, 1994 - Rochester, NY "Spiritual Awakening"
July, 1994 - Portland, OR "Discoveries"
January 13–15, 1995 - Orange, CA "Living In The Solution"
July 7–9, 1995 - Baltimore, MD "The Fellowship of the Spirit"
January 12–14, 1996 - Phoenix, AZ "Freedom To Choose Not To"
July 12–14, 1996 - Chicago, IL "Willing To Go To Any Length"
January 11–13, 1997 - Oklahoma City, OK "Recovery Continues"
July 11–13, 1997 - Regina, SK, Canada "The Promises"
January, 1998 - Daytona Beach, FL "Our Primary Purpose"
July 10–12, 1998 - Newark, NJ "Experience, Strength, and Hope"
January 8–10, 1999 - Sacramento, CA "Stepping Into Recovery"
July 9–11, 1999 - Cleveland, OH "How It Works"
January 7–9, 2000 - Nashville, TN "Together 2000"
July 7–9, 2000 - Detroit, MI "Practicing these Principles"
January 19–21, 2001 - Orange, CA "Absolute Surrender: A new Beginning in Recovery"
July 13–15, 2001 - Tysons Corner, VA "An Odyssey In Recovery"
January 11–13, 2002 - Atlanta, GA "Courage to Change"
July 12–14, 2002 - Portland, OR "Discovery"
January 10–12, 2003 - Newark, NJ "Whatever it takes"
July 11–13, 2003 - Chicago, IL "A Program of Action: Maintaining our Spiritual Condition"
January 9–11, 2004 - San Diego, CA "There is a Solution"
July 9–11, 2004 - Oklahoma City, OK "Spiritual Awakening"
January 7–9, 2005 - Daytona Beach, FL "The Real Connection"
July 8–10, 2005 - Philadelphia, PA "A New Freedom and a New Happiness"
January 6–8, 2006 - Nashville, TN "Carrying the Message"
July 7–9, 2006 - St. Louis, MO "Happy, Joyous, and Free"
January 12–14, 2007 - Greensboro, NC "Our Common Welfare"
July 6–8, 2007 - Adelphi, MD "Live and Let Go"
January 11–13, 2008 - Newark, NJ "Chorus of Recovery"
July 11–13, 2008 - Akron, OH "Welcome Home"
January 9–11, 2009 - Nashville, TN "We Absolutely Insist on Enjoying Life"
July 10–12, 2009 - Denver, CO "Serenity in the Rockies"
January 8–10, 2010 - Nashville, TN "Fellowship of the Spirit"
July 9–11, 2010 - Chicago, IL "Sweet Hope Chicago"
January 14–16, 2011 - Irvine, CA "Sunshine & Serenity"
July 15–17, 2011 - Portland, OR "Recovery on the River"
January 13–15, 2012 - Newark, NJ "Liberty from Self in New York"
July 27–29, 2012 - Nashville, TN "Three Legacies"
January 11–13, 2013 - Atlanta, GA "The Courage to Change"
July 19–21, 2013 - Baltimore, MD "Change on the Chesapeake"
January 10–12, 2014 - Nashville, TN "Three Legacies Convention"
July 11–13, 2014 - Detroit, MI "Miracle in Motown"
January 23–25, 2015 - Portland, OR "Awakening the Spirit"
July 24–26, 2015 - Chicago, IL "Crossroads of Recovery"
January 15–17, 2016 - San Diego, CA "Reflections in San Diego"
July 8–10, 2016 - Denver, CO "Happy, Joyous and Free"
January 9–11, 2017 - Jerusalem, Israel "Growth and Renewal in Israel 2017"
SA fully accepts all AA General Conference-approved literature for use in SA meetings, and SA groups frequently read from AA literature in their own meetings. SA adheres closely to the AA model, applying all of AA's principles to lust and sexual addiction, and whereas other members of other S-groups define sobriety for themselves, SA is closer to AA in proposing an understanding of sobriety which requires abstinence and is common to the group.[21]
Books
Sexaholics Anonymous. This book is also known as the "White Book". WorldCat ID 56936605. (Also available as an audiobook on CDs.)
Recovery Continues. (Also available as an audiobook on CDs.)
Best of Essay, Practical Recovery Tools, 1994–2003.
Step into Action: One, Two, Three.
Step into Action: Four, Five, Six, Seven.
Step Into Action: Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, and Twelve.
Do You Have a Problem with Pornography or Lust on the Internet?
Criticism
A psychologist involved in sexual addiction treatment, Patrick Carnes, encourages self-defined sobriety in his writings, saying that a no-masturbation definition of sobriety is only appropriate for some sex addicts and that bottom lines can in fact be modified over time.[22] Joe Kort criticizes SA for its pro-heterosexual marriage stance.[23]
However, the founder Roy K. knew ahead of time that this was a controversial subject and often wrote letters from a contrarian perspective. "If we come into an SA group where we can define our own sobriety, watch those rationalizations come alive! And if we define our own level of sobriety, that's all we're likely to reach."[24] In addition, Roy studied Theology for many years at a Seminary. He often would leave an SA convention where he was one of the 'keynote speakers' and preach at a church around the corner [citation needed]for those interested in listening to a more evangelical point of view. "We don't claim to understand all the ramifications of sexual sobriety. Some of us have come to believe that there is a deeper spiritual significance in sexual sobriety, while others simply report that without a firm and clear bottom line, our "cunning, baffling, and powerful" sexaholism takes over sooner or later.[25]
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a global peer-led mutual aid fellowship begun in the United States dedicated to abstinence-based recovery from alcoholism through its spiritually inclined twelve-step program. AA's twelve traditions, besides stressing anonymity, establish it as non-professional, unafiliated, non-denominational and apolitical with a public relations policy stressing attraction rather than promotion. In 2020 AA estimated a worldwide membership of over two million, with 75% of those in the US and Canada.
Twelve-step programs are international mutual aid programs supporting recovery from substance addictions, behavioral addictions and compulsions. Developed in the 1930s, the first twelve-step program, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), founded by Bill Wilson and Bob Smith, aided its membership to overcome alcoholism. Since that time dozens of other organizations have been derived from AA's approach to address problems as varied as drug addiction, compulsive gambling, sex, and overeating. All twelve-step programs utilize a version of AA's suggested twelve steps first published in the 1939 book Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism.
Rational Recovery was a commercial vendor of material related to counseling, guidance, and direct instruction for addiction designed as a direct counterpoint to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and twelve-step programs.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA), founded in 1953, describes itself as a "nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem." Narcotics Anonymous uses a 12-step model developed for people with varied substance use disorders and is the second-largest 12-step organization.
Pornography addiction is the scientifically controversial application of an addiction model to the use of pornography. Pornography may be part of compulsive sexual behavior with negative consequences to one's physical, mental, social, or financial well-being. While the World Health Organization's ICD-11 (2022) has recognized compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (CSBD) as an "impulsive control disorder", CSBD is not an addiction, and the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5 (2013) and the DSM-5-TR (2022) do not classify compulsive pornography consumption as a mental disorder or a behavioral addiction.
The Twelve Traditions of twelve-step programs provide guidelines for relationships between the twelve-step groups, members, other groups, the global fellowship, and society at large. Questions of finance, public relations, donations, and purpose are addressed in the traditions. They were originally written by Bill Wilson after the founding of the first twelve-step group, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
According to proponents of the concept, sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. The concept is contentious; neither of the two major mainstream medical categorization systems recognise sex addiction as a real medical condition, instead categorizing such behavior under labels such as compulsive sexual behavior.
Pagans in recovery is a phrase, which is frequently used within the recovery community, to describe the collective efforts of Neopagans as well as Indigenous, Hindu, Buddhist, and other like-minded groups, to achieve abstinence or the remission of compulsive/addictive behaviors through twelve-step programs and other programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Al-Anon/Alateen, etc. These efforts generally focus on modifying or adapting the twelve steps to accommodate the Pagan world-view as well as creating Pagan-friendly twelve step meetings either as part of a preexisting twelve-step program or as independent entities.
The three circles is an exercise / diagram used by recovering addicts to describe and define behaviors that lead either to a relapse into or recovery from addictive behaviors. Some treatment groups and 12-step recovery programs encourage recovering addicts to complete the three circle exercise to help the addict identify behaviors that promote or endanger their sobriety. The first use of the term is found in a pamphlet publication of Sex Addicts Anonymous, entitled "Three circles: Defining sobriety in S.A.A." Minneapolis, MN: SAA Literature (1991). It has since been republished.
Overeaters Anonymous (OA) is a twelve-step program founded in 1960 for people with problems related to food including, but not limited to, compulsive overeaters, those with binge eating disorder, bulimics and anorexics. Anyone with a problematic relationship with food is welcomed; OA's Third Tradition states that the only requirement for memberships is a desire to stop eating compulsively.
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) is a twelve-step program for people who want to stop having compulsive sex. SCA founding is attributed variously to 1982 in New York City and to 1973 in Los Angeles. Although the fellowship originally sought to address issues of sexual compulsion among gay and bisexual men, and this is still the fellowships predominant demographic, today the program is LGBT friendly, open to all sexual orientations, and there is an increasing number of women and heterosexual men participating. SCA meetings are most likely to be held in urban areas with larger gay and bisexual male populations. The majority of members are white, but vary in age and socioeconomic background. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop having compulsive sex.
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is a twelve-step program founded in 1977 for people who want to stop their addictive sexual behavior. There also exists a group known as COSA, for those who have been impacted by others' sexual addiction.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is a twelve-step program for people recovering from sex addiction and love addiction. SLAA was founded in Boston, Massachusetts in 1976, by a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Though he had been a member of AA for many years, he repeatedly acted out and was serially unfaithful to his wife. He founded SLAA as an attempt to stop his compulsive sexual and "romantic" behavior. SLAA is also sometimes known as the Augustine Fellowship, because early members saw many of their shared symptoms described by St. Augustine of Hippo in his work Confessions. COSLAA is another twelve-step fellowship created to support the family members and friends of sex and love addicts.
Drug addiction recovery groups are voluntary associations of people who share a common desire to overcome their drug addiction. Different groups use different methods, ranging from completely secular to explicitly spiritual. Some programs may advocate a reduction in the use of drugs rather than outright abstention. One survey of members found active involvement in any addiction recovery group correlates with higher chances of maintaining sobriety. Although there is not a difference in whether group or individual therapy is better for the patient, studies show that any therapy increases positive outcomes for patients with substance use disorder. The survey found group participation increased when the individual members' beliefs matched those of their primary support group. Analysis of the survey results found a significant positive correlation between the religiosity of members and their participation in twelve-step programs and to a lesser level in non-religious SMART Recovery groups, the correlation factor being three times smaller for SMART Recovery than for twelve-step addiction recovery groups. Religiosity was inversely related to participation in Secular Organizations for Sobriety.
LifeRing Secular Recovery is a secular, non-profit organization providing peer-run addiction recovery groups. The organization provides support and assistance to people seeking to recover from alcohol and drug addiction, and also assists partners, family members and friends of addicts or alcoholics. It is an abstinence-based recovery program with three fundamental principles: sobriety, secularity and self-empowerment. The motto of LifeRing is "empower your sober self."
Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) is a twelve-step fellowship for recovery from the consequences of childhood sexual abuse. SIA was founded in 1982 in Baltimore, Maryland by women who believed their experience in other twelve-step fellowships could assist in recovery from sexual trauma. In SIA incest is defined broadly as any sexual behavior imposed on one person by a member of his or her immediate or extended family. The extended family, in this definition, includes but is not limited to: grandparents, uncles, aunts, in-laws, clergy, teachers, cousins, family friends, and stepparents. The abuse may include verbal abuse, emotional abuse and physical behaviors; penetration is not necessary for meeting SIA's definition on incest. Covert incest within the family is also a theme many survivors explore in SIA.
Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) founded in 1998 is a program of recovery based on the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. FA members are men and women of all ages. Some have been obese; others have been severely underweight, bulimic, or so obsessed with food or weight that normal life was difficult or impossible. The common denominator uniting members of FA is addiction and a relationship with food that parallels an alcoholic's relationship with alcohol. The program offers the hope of long-term recovery, evidenced by members who have continuously maintained a normal weight and healthy eating for periods of twenty-five or even thirty years.
Pills Anonymous (PA) is a twelve-step program founded in 1972 for people who seek recovery from prescription drug addiction. PA is patterned very closely after Alcoholics Anonymous, although the two groups are not affiliated.
Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA) founded circa 1993 is one of several twelve-step programs for the treatment of sexual addiction based on the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. SRA takes its place among various 12-step groups that seek recovery from sexual addiction: Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous and Sexaholics Anonymous. The New York-based group has meetings in several states. Collectively these groups are referred to as "S" groups since all their acronyms begin with that letter.
↑ Jan R. Wilson, Judith A. Wilson (1994). Addictionary: A Primer of Recovery Terms & Concepts from Abstinence to Withdraw. Hazelden PES, p.316
↑ Patrick J. Carnes, David L. Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin (2004). In The Shadows Of The Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Hazelden PES.
↑ Joe Kort. Ten Smart Things -Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives. Alyson Publishing, p.108
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