The loss of a pet or an animal to which one has become emotionally bonded oftentimes results in grief [1] which can be comparable with the death of a human loved one, or even greater, depending on the individual. The death can be felt more intensely when the owner has decided to end the pet's life through euthanasia. [2] While there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, [3] this article focuses on human feelings when an animal is lost, dies, or otherwise is departed.
There is no set amount of time for the grieving process to occur. However, mourning is much more intense for a pet upon whom the owner was emotionally dependent. Additionally, some pet owners may feel unable to express their grieving due to social customs and norms surrounding pets. If the pet owner internalizes the grief, the suffering increases. [4]
The stages of grief proposed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross were designed in relation to human death but can be adapted to describe the grief process for the death of a pet. [5] Indeed, pet death includes several lessons: 1) the relationship rather than the object (the animal) is central to understanding the loss; 2) the manner of death/loss will affect the grieving process; 3) the age and living situation of the bereaved will affect the grieving process. [6]
The University of Michigan did a study of grief involving 174 adults who had deceased pets. Participants were administered a modified CENSHARE Pet Attachment Survey. Results indicate that 85.7% of owners initially experienced at least one symptom of grief, but the occurrence decreased to 35.1% at six months and 22.4% at one year. Males and females reported different rates on six of the 12 symptoms surveyed. The severity and length of symptoms were significantly correlated with the degree of attachment to the deceased pet. These findings indicate that pet loss can be a potential clinical concern, especially if the person's attachment to the pet is strong. [7]
Though well-meaning phrases like "time heals all wounds" can upset the grieving pet owner, the one factor required for all coping strategies is indeed time. [8] Coping also involves understanding the emotions surrounding the loss of a pet, and then accepting the emotions to focus towards positive solutions.
Coping strategies may include: [9]
Pet owners may also seek to memorialize their pets by placing their remains in a cremation urn or jewelry. [10] Other traditions include erecting stone memorials or other commemorative plaques for deceased pets, or by nicknaming objects like stars after them. [11] [12] Additionally, a 2020 report found that 19% of Americans wanted to be buried with their pet's remains after passing. [13]
There are several particular types of loss: [14] [15]
Before bringing a new pet into the home following the death of a previous pet, some advise people to consider the timing carefully. [17] Additionally, it is recommended to consider where the bereaved are in the grieving process, [18] and to choose the new pet for its own unique qualities rather than trying to replace the former pet. [19]
Pet illness and death are gradually becoming recognized as similar to other forms of sickness and death in the family. In the U.K., a variety of companies provide paid leave for such eventualities, [20] with employment tribunals backing this in some instances in which employment terms did not specifically mention pet loss. [21]
Recent studies by insurers suggest that up to one in four pet owners are sufficiently affected by pet loss or illness to take time off, but many feel this will be treated lightly and, hence, state they were sick. According to Petplan, 35% of people admitted to taking time off work to settle new pets into the home or care for sick pets, and half admitted to taking a whole week off. [22] According to Direct Line, one in four pet owners, "said they have been too upset to go into the workplace when their four legged friend died" and, "many of those who did go into work after the death of their pet said they were unproductive." [23] The latter survey also noted that pet owners in the U.K. take "around 8 days off" due to grief at the death of a pet and that "seventy-nine percent of people responding to the survey admitted they did not think their boss would be sympathetic, and the only way they could get time off work was by... pretending to be ill." [22]
Resources for pet loss change regularly but include grief counseling, support groups, online forums, hotlines, and books. The Pet Loss Support Page maintains an updated list of recommended resources. [24]
Resources include:
Some world religions have held that beloved pets will join their families in an afterlife. Animal worship was common in the ancient world, influencing the burial practices of animals. Animal mummification was practiced in ancient Egypt and gave special significance to cats in some areas. Egyptians believed that mummification was imperative in order to gain admittance to the afterlife, ensuring the animals' immortality. [26]
Some ancient Egyptian families believed mummified pets would keep the deceased company in the afterlife. [27] The most common Egyptian pets included cats, dogs, mongooses, monkeys, gazelles, and birds. Many Egyptians loved their pets, and, according to the Greek observer Herodotus, the customary process of mourning the loss of a loved pet included crying and shaving one's eyebrows. [ citation needed ] Ancient Egyptian pets were given names like humans name pets today, evidenced by over 70 names deciphered in inscriptions identifying mummified pet dog remains. [28]
Modern religions are divided as to whether non-human animals have souls, the ability to reincarnate, or existence in the afterlife.
In the absence of a common religious belief, many pet owners have embraced the concept of the Rainbow Bridge. The idea, the origin of which is not clearly known, speaks of a metaphorical or mythical place of reunion where deceased pets die live in a paradisical version of limbo, rejuvenated and free of pain and suffering until their companion humans arrive upon their own deaths. [29] [30] At this point, the pet(s) run to their companion humans and they enter Heaven together never to be parted again.
A number of deathbed visions and dreams involve sightings of deceased pets; hence, some link these reports with the existence of animal souls. Such experiences may be effective in easing one's grief. [31] [32]
In Mormonism, all organisms (as well as the entire planet Earth) are believed to have a spirit, but that beings without the gift of free agency—the ability to know and choose between right and wrong—are innocent, unblemished spirits who go straight to Heaven when they die. [33] According to Mormon beliefs, animals will be resurrected along with humans at the end of days. [34]
Animal chaplains are becoming increasingly popular for helping bereaved family members deal with the loss of their pet by providing memorial services, spiritual reassurance, and grief counseling.
The ancient Egyptians believed that a soul was made up of many parts. In addition to these components of the soul, there was the human body.
Mourning is the emotional expression in response to a major life event causing grief, especially loss. It typically occurs as a result of someone's death, especially a loved one.
Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important, particularly to the death of a person or other living thing to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, while grief is the reaction to that loss.
Animal euthanasia is the act of killing an animal humanely, most commonly with injectable drugs. Reasons for euthanasia include incurable conditions or diseases, lack of resources to continue supporting the animal, or laboratory test procedures. Euthanasia methods are designed to cause minimal pain and distress. Euthanasia is distinct from animal slaughter and pest control.
According to the model of the five stages of grief, or the Kübler-Ross model, those experiencing sudden grief following an abrupt realization (shock) go through five emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
A pet cemetery is a cemetery for pets. Although the veneration and burial of beloved pets has been practiced since ancient times, burial grounds reserved specifically for animals were not common until the late 19th century.
The ancient Egyptians had an elaborate set of funerary practices that they believed were necessary to ensure their immortality after death. These rituals included mummifying the body, casting magic spells, and burials with specific grave goods thought to be needed in the afterlife.
Colin Murray Parkes was a British psychiatrist and the author of numerous books and publications on grief. He was made an Officer of the Order of the British Empire by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to bereaved people in June 1996.
Disenfranchised grief is a term coined by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka in 1989. The concept describes the fact that some forms of grief are not acknowledged on a personal or societal level in modern Eurocentric culture. People might not like how you may or may not be expressing your grief or view your loss as insignificant, and thus they may feel uncomfortable, or judgmental. This is not a conscious way of thinking for most individuals, as it is deeply engrained in our psyche. This can be extremely isolating, and push you to question the depth of your grief and the loss you’ve experienced. This concept is viewed as a "type of grief", but it more so can be viewed as a "side effect" of grief. This also is not only applicable to grief in the case of death, but also the many other forms of grief. There are few support systems, rituals, traditions, or institutions such as bereavement leave available to those experiencing grief and loss.
Death is dealt with differently in cultures around the world, and there are ethical issues relating to death, such as martyrdom, suicide and euthanasia. Death refers to the permanent termination of life-sustaining processes in an organism, i.e. when all biological systems of a human being cease to operate. Death and its spiritual ramifications are debated in every manner all over the world. Most civilizations dispose of their dead with rituals developed through spiritual traditions.
Grief counseling is a form of psychotherapy that aims to help people cope with the physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and cognitive responses to loss. These experiences are commonly thought to be brought on by a loved person's death, but may more broadly be understood as shaped by any significant life-altering loss.
Animal mummification was common in ancient Egypt. Animals were an important part of Egyptian culture, not only in their role as food and pets, but also for religious reasons. Many different types of animals were mummified, typically for four main purposes: to allow people's beloved pets to go on to the afterlife, to provide food in the afterlife, to act as offerings to particular deities, and because some were seen as physical manifestations of specific deities that the Egyptians worshipped. Bastet, the cat goddess, is an example of one such deity. In 1888, an Egyptian farmer digging in the sand near Istabl Antar discovered a mass grave of felines, ancient cats that were mummified and buried in pits at great numbers.
An online memorial is a virtual space created on the Internet for the purpose of remembering, celebrating, or commemorating those who have died. An online memorial may be a one-page HTML webpage document giving the name of the deceased and a few words of tribute, an extensive information source, or be part of a social media platform where users can add their own words and photos.
Michelle L. Rusk, born Michelle Linn, and formerly known as Michelle Linn-Gust, is an American author and speaker on coping with grief following suicide, especially that of siblings. She is a Past President of the American Association of Suicidology and she has written several books about the experiences of families following the suicide of a member, given workshops to the bereaved and the clinicians who work with them on dealing with their grief, and spoken widely on the topic. She also has offered workshops in the Southwest for the Navajo and Pueblo peoples of the reservations, who have suffered high rates of suicide among young people. From 2012 to 2015 she wrote the Good Causes column for the Naperville Sun newspaper and today is working to inspire hope and healing in people who have suffered loss, particularly divorced women.
The Egyptian dog Abuwtiyuw, also transcribed as Abutiu, was one of the earliest documented domestic animals whose name is known. He is believed to have been a royal guard dog who lived in the Sixth Dynasty (2345–2181 BC), and received an elaborate ceremonial burial in the Giza Necropolis at the behest of a pharaoh whose name is unknown.
The dual process model of coping is a model for coping with grief developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut. This model seeks to address shortcomings of prior models of coping, and provide a framework that better represents the natural variation in coping experience on a day to day basis.
Child bereavement occurs when a child loses someone of importance in their life. There is substantial research regarding grief in adults, but there is less focus in literature about grief among children. Children will experience instances in their life that could involve losing a parent, sibling, or friend through suicide, unintentional injury, homicide, or natural causes. The levels of grief and bereavement differ among children, including uncomplicated and complicated bereavement. Unlike adults, children may experience and express their grief and bereavement through behaviors, and are less likely to outwardly express their emotions. The children who experience bereavement and grief can receive treatment involving group intervention, play therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Different forms of treatment for children experiencing bereavement and or grief can help to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, social adjustment, and posttraumatic stress. Research has shown that it is important to be aware of the difficulties in predicting how losing a closed one can impact a child’s emotionality and how their coping abilities will differ across ages and cultures.
Perinatal bereavement or perinatal grief refers to the emotions of the family following a perinatal death, defined as the demise of a fetus or newborn infant. Perinatal loss affects one in every ten women across the globe with the worldwide perinatal death rate at approximately 2.7 million deaths per year. Perinatal death is recognized as a traumatic life event as it is often sudden, unexpected, and devastating to parents who have had little to no direct life experiences with their child before their death.
Pet humanization is the practice in pet culture of treating companion animals with a level of care, attention, and luxury relatively higher than for the average domesticated animal. This trend involves the owners being at odds with the pet's status as property in wider society and can range from relying on them for emotional support to treating them like human family members.
Bereavement groups, or grief groups, are a type of support group that bereaved individuals may access to have a space to process through or receive social support around grief. Bereavement groups are typically one of the most common services offered to bereaved individuals, encompassing both formalized group therapy settings for reducing clinical levels of grief as well as support groups that offer support, information, and exchange between those who have experienced loss.