Plot
A field training exercise of each platoon tackling an obstacle course carrying a pole ends in disaster as Corporal Jones' section, consisting of Privates Walker, Frazer, Pike and Godfrey, ends up falling in the water. Captain Mainwaring later discusses with Sergeant Wilson how he would prefer to have much younger men in his platoon. At that moment, Wilson presents Mainwaring with a letter from the War Office which states that the oldest members of the Home Guard will be transferred to ARP and the younger, fitter ARP Wardens will be transferred into the Home Guard. Mainwaring is appalled at the idea of losing his men and having members of Chief Warden Hodges' "rabble" in his platoon, but Wilson points out everyone is at risk.
Mainwaring worries that he too might be transferred into the ARP, so he buys himself a wig, while Wilson has acquired a corset (or "gentleman's abdominal support", as he calls it). They both try to hide it, but Mainwaring quickly figures out Wilson, who admits he is doing it not for vanity, but to stay with the unit. Mainwaring then shows off his wig, only for Wilson to start laughing uncontrollably. Members of the platoon start to notice odd things about Mainwaring, so when Mainwaring catches Pike trying to look under his hat, he reveals his wig to the entire platoon (though when it come off with his hat, Jones thinks it makes Mainwaring look older), and also tells them of the upcoming parade where the Area Commander will decide who will be transferred.
Upon learning of this, Jones and Godfrey visit Frazer's funeral parlour late one night and tell him that "If any of the platoon are going to be put in the ARP, it'll be us three cause we're the oldest." Frazer then agrees to perform a makeover on Jones and Godfrey, as well as himself, in order to make them look younger. In the meantime, Hodges is also worried of being put into the Home Guard so he purchases some grey "hair dye" courtesy of Walker, which is actually white ceiling paint mixed with gum arabic. Hodges later showboats his makeover to the platoon, although Walker subtly laughs "Wait till he tries to get it off."
When Mainwaring learns of the drastic measures that Frazer, Jones and Godfrey have gone through in order to stay in the platoon, he does not approve, but states that "it's too late to do anything about it now." After the inspection, in which none of the Home Guard members were selected to join the ARP, Mainwaring is stunned when Colonel Pritchard quietly congratulates him for once again demonstrating initiative in a crisis, adding that he did not see anything. Moments later it begins to rain heavily, causing the makeup on the three soldiers' faces to run.
"Branded" is the eleventh episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 20 November 1969. In the episode's plot, Private Godfrey admits that he was a conscientious objector during the Great War.
"The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones" is the first episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 11 September 1969. It is also the first episode to be made in colour, though it was originally broadcast in black and white.
"Battle of the Giants!" is the first special Christmas episode of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 27 December 1971. The episode was recorded 19 October 1971.
"The Lion Has 'Phones" is the third episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 21 September 1969.
"Something Nasty in the Vault" is the fifth episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 9 October 1969.
"Menace from the Deep" is the tenth episode of the third series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 13 November 1969.
"The Big Parade" is the first episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 25 September 1970.
"Don't Forget the Diver" is the second episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 2 October 1970.
"Sgt – Save My Boy!" is the fourth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 16 October 1970.
"Absent Friends" is the sixth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 30 October 1970.
"Put That Light Out!" is the seventh episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 6 November 1970.
"The Test" is the tenth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 27 November 1970.
"Asleep in the Deep" is the first episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 6 October 1972. The title may have come from the song, Asleep in the Deep that is referenced by Private Walker in the episode.
"Uninvited Guests" is the twelfth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy TV series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Friday 11 December 1970.
"We Know Our Onions" is the fourth episode of the sixth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 21 November 1973.
"If the Cap Fits..." is the sixth episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 10 November 1972.
"Getting the Bird" is the fourth episode of the fifth series of the British television situation comedy Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 27 October 1972.
"A Brush with the Law" is the eleventh episode of the fifth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on 15 December 1972.
"Is There Honey Still for Tea?" is the third episode of the eighth series of the British sitcom Dad's Army, which was originally transmitted on Friday 19 September 1975. The title is taken from the concluding lines of Rupert Brooke's 1912 poem, The Old Vicarage, Grantchester:
"Resisting the Aggressor Down the Ages" is the second Christmas Night with the Stars sketch from the British comedy series Dad's Army. It was originally transmitted on Christmas Day 1969.
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