Rumpology

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Different shapes of buttocks to which rumpology can attribute different properties (from left to right, top to bottom: square, V-shaped, heart-shaped and round) Buttocks morphology.svg
Different shapes of buttocks to which rumpology can attribute different properties (from left to right, top to bottom: square, V-shaped, heart-shaped and round)

Rumpology or bottom reading is a pseudoscience akin to physiognomy, performed by examining crevices, dimples, warts, moles and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand. [2]

Contents

History

The term rumpology is a neologism. The late American astrologer Jackie Stallone claimed that rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by the Babylonians, the Indians, and the Ancient Greeks and Romans. [3]

Theory and practice

Rumpologists have a variety of theories as to the meaning of different posterior characteristics. According to Stallone, the left and right buttocks reveal a person's past and future, respectively, although she has also commented that "The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain". [4] According to blind German clairvoyant and rumpologist Ulf Buck, an "apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life. A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth." [5] The British rumpologist Sam Amos claims that "A round bottom indicates the person is open, happy and optimistic in life. However, a flat bottom suggests the person is rather vain and is negative and sad." [6]

Rumpology can be performed either by sight, touch or by using buttock prints. [3] In addition to live readings, Jackie Stallone performed buttock readings using e-mailed digital photographs, [7] and has claimed to predict the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscar awards by reading the bottoms of her two pet Doberman Pinschers. [8] Ulf Buck, who is blind, claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks. [5]

See also

Related Research Articles

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Extrasensory perception</span> Claims of perceiving information by a 6th sense, the mind

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Pseudoscience</span> Unscientific claims wrongly presented as scientific

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Skepticism</span> Doubtful attitude toward knowledge claims

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Buttock augmentation</span> Cosmetic and corrective surgery

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<span class="mw-page-title-main">Gluteal muscles</span> Group of three muscles which make up the buttocks

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References

  1. Pillai, Shruti (2016-12-29). "Some Fortune Tellers Read Hands, Some Read Foreheads. And Then There Are Those Who Read Butts!". scoopwhoop.com . Retrieved 2021-02-05.
  2. Carrol, Robert Todd. "Rumplogy for Dummies". The Skeptic's Dictionary.
  3. 1 2 "Jacqueline Stallone's Rumpology Reports!" . Retrieved 2007-06-05.
  4. Reiter, Amy (September 13, 1999). "This is Sly's mom on crack". Salon.com.
  5. 1 2 Tattersall, Nick (July 9, 2003). "Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future". Sounding Circle. Reuters. Archived from the original on July 8, 2007. Retrieved 2007-04-25.
  6. "Have a rumpologist read your bottom". Metro. January 5, 2009.
  7. "rumpology". The Skeptic's Dictionary.
  8. Reiter, Amy (March 21, 2001). "Streisand: Stallone's mom's butt prints are hot!". Salon.com.