Gender disappointment

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A cake for a gender reveal party. Gender disappointment might reveal itself at one of these parties. Gender Reveal Party (7359990748).jpg
A cake for a gender reveal party. Gender disappointment might reveal itself at one of these parties.

Gender disappointment is the feeling of sadness parents experience when the desire for a child of a preferred sex is not met. It can create feelings of shame which cannot always be expressed openly. [1] It is often noticed in cultures where women are viewed as of a lower status and the preferred choice is for a male infant, i.e. son preference. [2] It may result in sex-selective killing, [1] or the neglection of female children. [3]

Contents

Gender disappointment can occur before or after giving birth. It has been questioned whether it can be considered a unique mental illness or whether it should be linked to other mental disorders, like depression (e.g. postpartum depression) or adjustment disorders. Its treatment can be complex since a particular pathway to recovery has not yet been defined. [1] Nonetheless, there are some treatments available that have been shown to be successful.

Theories

A number of theories exist via which gender disappointment is generally explained: the gender discrimination theory, the gender essentialism theory and the parental investment theory.

Gender discrimination theory

This theory suggests that a patriarchal kinship system, prevalent in Asian countries, generates a strong preference for a certain gender, in casu a son. Such system considers sons as "harbingers of prosperity and daughters as liabilities who require significant outlay of resources through their lifetime". [4] In such a society, the underlying pressures to have a male child are vast. [3] They range from social[ citation needed ] and cultural pressures (e.g. only sons will propagate the family name, [5] certain religious rites can only be performed by men [6] ) to economic considerations (e.g. sons have the obligation to take care of the economic situation of their parents in their older days [7] ) and safety concerns.[ citation needed ] Needless to say these factors favour the birth of boys and generate gender disappointment in case the newborn is a girl.

Gender essentialism theory

Gender essentialism is the theory according to which intrinsic qualities are attributed to men and women treating them as of a fixed essence. Often, they are defined in terms of individual biological capacities [8] but they can also be grounded in social stereotypes.

When the parental desire for a child of a specific gender is grounded in such stereotypes (whether descriptive or prescriptive [9] ), gender-related biases can cause and reinforce gender disappointment.

While gender essentialism may play a role in certain cultures, it contradicts with recent views that gender is a complex construct influenced by biological factors and environmental circumstances. [10] Even though there are biological differences between men and women, [11] [12] no scientific evidence exists that all infants fit into the traditional binary genders. Parents should therefore be aware of the difference between sex and gender as the two may not align in the course of one's life.

The parental investment theory

In evolutionary theory, parental investment is any expenditure that benefits offspring and can potentially increase its chances of survival. [13] This includes money spendings on essential and non-essential goods, time spendings on activities, and attention and energy spendings. [14] It causes parents to engage in a cost-benefit analysis and to compare spendings between their children. Research shows that for example in countries like India, parents are more likely to allocate resources, such as time and money, to their sons rather than to their daughters resulting in better access to vaccination [15] and healthcare. [16] [17]

Personal factors

Gender disappointment cannot only be explained by reference to the general theories mentioned above. Several personal factors can contribute to being more or less prone to feelings of disappointment in relation to gender:

  1. The parent's age: Parents between the age of 19 and 25 are more inclined to experience gender disappointment. As people get older, their desire for having a child exceeds the desire for having a child of a specific gender due to the increased chance of infertility. [3]
  2. The parent's gender: [3] Females experience gender disappointment more given the volatility of their hormonal levels which can also result in other mental disorders such as postpartum depression. [1] [18]
  3. The parent's personality: A clear link has been established between gender disappointment and the characteristics of a parent's personality. Tied back to the psychological theory of The Big Five Personality traits, research suggests that Neuroticism, Extraversion, and Conscientiousness are moderators for gender disappointment. For example, extroverted people are sociable and will expect a gender that will bring them more public attention. They will be disappointed if this is not the case. Conscientious individuals, for instance, like to plan and think ahead: this may result in disappointment when the unexpected gender is born. [3]

Solutions and treatment

Dealing with gender disappointment can take place on a personal level and via professional help. Ultimately, long-term solutions should be sought on a social level.

Personal level

Opening up, in group or one-to-one, and sharing the negative emotions resulting from gender disappointment, can help reduce the feelings of shame. [1] [3] [19]

Professional help

Professional treatment in the context of gender disappointment generally exists in counseling which helps parents to understand that the sex of their offspring does not determine their parenting experience. It faces some unique challenges due to the level of subjectivity that comes with any mental disorder on the one hand and the existing social stigma on the other hand. As a result, treatments for gender disappointment are not always easily accessible. [1]

Social level

Most studies indicate that the long-term solutions are not to be found on an individual level but on a social level. They highlight that sexism should be recognised within societies as a social disorder and that sexist social structures should be dismantled. [1]

See also

Related Research Articles

Infanticide is the intentional killing of infants or offspring. Infanticide was a widespread practice throughout human history that was mainly used to dispose of unwanted children, its main purpose being the prevention of resources being spent on weak or disabled offspring. Unwanted infants were usually abandoned to die of exposure, but in some societies they were deliberately killed. Infanticide is generally illegal, but in some places the practice is tolerated, or the prohibition is not strictly enforced.

Gender identity is the personal sense of one's own gender. Gender identity can correlate with a person's assigned sex or can differ from it. In most individuals, the various biological determinants of sex are congruent, and consistent with the individual's gender identity. Gender expression typically reflects a person's gender identity, but this is not always the case. While a person may express behaviors, attitudes, and appearances consistent with a particular gender role, such expression may not necessarily reflect their gender identity. The term gender identity was coined by psychiatry professor Robert J. Stoller in 1964 and popularized by psychologist John Money.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Postpartum depression</span> Mood disorder experienced after childbirth

Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a mood disorder experienced after childbirth, which can affect men and women. Symptoms may include extreme sadness, low energy, anxiety, crying episodes, irritability, and changes in sleeping or eating patterns. PPD can also negatively affect the newborn child.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Postpartum period</span> Time period beginning after the birth of a child and extending for about one month

The postpartum period begins after childbirth and is typically considered to last for six weeks. There are three distinct phases of the postnatal period; the acute phase, lasting for six to twelve hours after birth; the subacute phase, lasting six weeks; and the delayed phase, lasting up to six months. During the delayed phase, some changes to the genitourinary system take much longer to resolve and may result in conditions such as urinary incontinence. The World Health Organization (WHO) describes the postnatal period as the most critical and yet the most neglected phase in the lives of mothers and babies; most maternal and newborn deaths occur during this period.

Sex differences in psychology are differences in the mental functions and behaviors of the sexes and are due to a complex interplay of biological, developmental, and cultural factors. Differences have been found in a variety of fields such as mental health, cognitive abilities, personality, emotion, sexuality, friendship, and tendency towards aggression. Such variation may be innate, learned, or both. Modern research attempts to distinguish between these causes and to analyze any ethical concerns raised. Since behavior is a result of interactions between nature and nurture, researchers are interested in investigating how biology and environment interact to produce such differences, although this is often not possible.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Parental investment</span> Parental expenditure (e.g. time, energy, resources) that benefits offspring

Parental investment, in evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology, is any parental expenditure that benefits offspring. Parental investment may be performed by both males and females, females alone or males alone. Care can be provided at any stage of the offspring's life, from pre-natal to post-natal.

Sex is correlated with the prevalence of certain mental disorders, including depression, anxiety and somatic complaints. For example, women are more likely to be diagnosed with major depression, while men are more likely to be diagnosed with substance abuse and antisocial personality disorder. There are no marked gender differences in the diagnosis rates of disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Men are at risk to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to past violent experiences such as accidents, wars and witnessing death, and women are diagnosed with PTSD at higher rates due to experiences with sexual assault, rape and child sexual abuse. Nonbinary or genderqueer identification describes people who do not identify as either male or female. People who identify as nonbinary or gender queer show increased risk for depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. People who identify as transgender demonstrate increased risk for depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

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Son preference is the ancient and cross-cultural human preference for male offspring. Son preference has been demonstrated across all social classes, from "succession laws in royal families to land inheritance in peasant families." Sons are considered both a status symbol and a genetic and economic competitive advantage.

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Childbirth-related post-traumatic stress disorder is a psychological disorder that can develop in women who have recently given birth. This disorder can also affect men or partners who have observed a difficult birth. Its symptoms are not distinct from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It may also be called post-traumatic stress disorder following childbirth (PTSD-FC).

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Women's health in India</span> Demographic health topic

Women's health in India can be examined in terms of multiple indicators, which vary by geography, socioeconomic standing and culture. To adequately improve the health of women in India multiple dimensions of wellbeing must be analysed in relation to global health averages and also in comparison to men in India. Health is an important factor that contributes to human wellbeing and economic growth.

Antenatal depression, also known as prenatal or perinatal depression, is a form of clinical depression that can affect a woman during pregnancy, and can be a precursor to postpartum depression if not properly treated. It is estimated that 7% to 20% of pregnant women are affected by this condition. Any form of prenatal stress felt by the mother can have negative effects on various aspects of fetal development, which can cause harm to the mother and child. Even after birth, a child born from a depressed or stressed mother feels the affects. The child is less active and can also experience emotional distress. Antenatal depression can be caused by the stress and worry that pregnancy can bring, but at a more severe level. Other triggers include unplanned pregnancy, difficulty becoming pregnant, history of abuse, and economic or family situations.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Human mating strategies</span> Courtship behavior of humans

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Female infanticide in India has a history spanning centuries. Poverty, the dowry system, births to unmarried women, deformed infants, famine, lack of support services, and maternal illnesses such as postpartum depression are among the causes that have been proposed to explain the phenomenon of female infanticide in India.

For years, the census data in China has recorded a significant imbalance in the sex ratio toward the male population, meaning there are fewer women than men. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as the missing women or missing girls of China. China's official census report from 2000 shows that there were 117 boys for every 100 girls. The sex imbalance in some rural areas is even higher, at 130 boys to 100 girls, compared to a global average of 105 or 106 boys to 100 girls.

Evolutionary approaches to postpartum depression examine the syndrome from the framework of evolutionary theory.

Post-adoption depression is shown though symptoms of depression in the adoptive mother or father, generally seen from one month after adoption, and is experienced by anywhere from 10% to 32% of adoptive parents. The symptoms of post-adoption depression are common to symptoms of depression, and include changes in sleeping pattern and appetite, feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, problems with concentration and restlessness, as well as suicidal thoughts. These symptoms are also similar to those of postpartum depression, which is a related syndrome. Postpartum depression, however, involves hormonal changes in pregnant woman, which are not present in women suffering from post-adoption depression. Despite this difference, there are still significant changes that new parents go through, even when the child is not biologically their own. These changes can have significant impacts on mental health. Post-adoption depression can also negatively impact the child.

Paternal depression is a psychological disorder derived from parental depression. Paternal depression affects the mood of men; fathers and caregivers in particular. 'Father' may refer to the biological father, foster parent, social parent, step-parent or simply the carer of the child. This mood disorder exhibits symptoms similar to postpartum depression (PPD) including anxiety, insomnia, irritability, consistent breakdown and crying episodes, and low energy. This may negatively impact family relationships and the upbringing of children. Parents diagnosed with parental depression often experience increased stress and anxiety levels during early pregnancy, labor and postpartum. Those with parental depression may have developed it early on but some are diagnosed later on from when the child is a toddler up until a young adult.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Breastfeeding and mental health</span>

Breastfeeding and mental health is the relationship between postpartum breastfeeding and the mother's and child's mental health. Research indicates breastfeeding may have positive effects on the mother's and child's mental health, though there have been conflicting studies that question the correlation and causation of breastfeeding and maternal mental health. Possible benefits include improved mood and stress levels in the mother, lower risk of postpartum depression, enhanced social emotional development in the child, stronger mother-child bonding and more. Given the benefits of breastfeeding, the World Health Organization (WHO), the European Commission for Public Health (ECPH) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggest exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life. Despite these suggestions, estimates indicate 70% of mothers breastfeed their child after birth and 13.5% of infants in the United States are exclusively breastfed. Breastfeeding promotion and support for mothers who are experiencing difficulties or early cessation in breastfeeding is considered a health priority.

References

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