Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 2012–13

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The following is a list of recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced during the thirty-eighth season of SNL, which began on September 15, 2012.

Contents

Puppet Class

Anthony Peter Coleman (Bill Hader), a war veteran, attends a puppeteering class with his identical puppet Tony. His nightmarish memories of combat put a damper on the light puppetry class. [1]

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 September 15, 2012 Seth MacFarlane MacFarlane plays the instructor. [2] [3]
40 October 11, 2014 Bill Hader [4]

The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party

Cecily Strong appears on Weekend Update and provides incoherent diatribes, largely political in nature, with plenty of malaprops, while texting and rummaging in her purse.

Following the character's first appearance, TV Guide called the character "hilarious"; [5] Entertainment Weekly labeled it "the funniest performance of the night." [6] The sketch was the fifth most popular SNL clip on Hulu in 2012. [7]

In an interview with Chicago Magazine , which said the character "has become a sensation", Strong said:

[The character is] a mix of a lot of people—including myself, unfortunately. But it came about when I was talking to one of the writers, Colin Jost. And I said something that sounded like a drunk-girl ramble. And we just started riffing on that. And as it turns out, I’m not the only one who’s had a conversation with this type of girl. [8]

Strong told the State Journal-Register that the character was a favorite of hers. [9] SNL alum Jimmy Fallon praised the character during an interview with Strong on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon . [10]

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 September 27, 2012None (Weekend Update Thursday) [5] [6]
38 November 3, 2012 Louis C.K. [11] [12]
38 December 15, 2012 Martin Short [13] [14]
38 May 4, 2013 Zach Galifianakis [15]
38 May 18, 2013 Ben Affleck Appears with other characters in the background of Stefon sketch. [16]
40 September 27, 2014 Chris Pratt Her first appearance since Strong became a co-anchor for season 39.
40 March 7, 2015 Chris Hemsworth
40 May 9, 2015 Reese Witherspoon Witherspoon also appears in the sketch as McKenzie, another Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party.
41 March 5, 2016 Jonah Hill
42 October 22, 2016 Tom Hanks
45 March 7, 2020 Daniel Craig

Regine

Regine (Fred Armisen) is a rude, pretentious woman introduced in each appearance as the host's new girlfriend. The host demonstrates to his friends how Regine goes into physical contortions of ecstasy when he touches certain parts of her body.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 October 6, 2012 Daniel Craig [17] [18]
38 February 16, 2013 Christoph Waltz [19] [20] [21]
41 May 21, 2016 Fred Armisen Jason Sudeikis portrayed the boyfriend.

Kirby

Bobby Moynihan plays astronaut Kirby J. Buttercream, who annoys his fellow astronauts with stories about his love for his "little kitty cat", Fuzz Aldrin. At the end of each sketch, it is revealed that he smuggled his cat on board the spacecraft.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 October 6, 2012 Daniel Craig Mission to Mars.
39 October 12, 2013 Bruce Willis Mission to destroy an asteroid on a collision course with earth.

Last Call (Sheila Sovage)

Sheila Sovage (Kate McKinnon) and a character played by the host are the final two customers at a bar, and convince themselves to hook up despite their lack of physical chemistry. Their awkward attempts at hitting on and kissing each other dismay the bartender (Kenan Thompson).

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 November 3, 2012 Louis C.K. [11] [12]
38 April 13, 2013 Vince Vaughn [22]
39 December 14, 2013 John Goodman
40 November 15, 2014 Woody Harrelson
41 February 6, 2016 Larry David
42 November 12, 2016 Dave Chappelle
43 March 3, 2018 Charles Barkley
43 May 12, 2018 Amy Schumer First time Sovage hits on a woman.
44 May 4, 2019 Adam Sandler Featuring Kristen Wiig as Melba Letzman-Toast.

Girlfriends Talk Show

Aidy Bryant and Cecily Strong play Morgan and Kyra, the teenage hosts of "Girlfriends Talk Show." Morgan is surprised to find that Kyra has invited her new and impressively cool friend (played by the episode's host) to join them. Throughout the sketch, the new friend rudely dismisses Morgan's contributions, making Morgan increasingly insecure and upset.

"Girlfriends Talk Show" received mixed reviews from reviewers, with several crediting Bryant's performance for making it worthwhile. [23] [24] [25] In discussing the sketch's first appearance, both Vulture and HitFix singled out Bryant's line, "No, you should be called Roach Wearhouse!" for special appreciation. [26] [27] Rolling Stone called the sketch "side-splitting." [28] However the Huffington Post called the skit "bad" saying it was based entirely on "annoying teenage voice." [23]

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 November 10, 2012 Anne Hathaway Hathaway plays Kyra's new friend Tara. [23] [26] [27]
38 January 19, 2013 Jennifer Lawrence Lawrence plays Kyra's new friend Jessy, a punk rocker. [24] [25] [28]
39 October 5, 2013 Miley Cyrus Cyrus plays Kyra's new friend Tara Arnold aka Lil' Teeny, a hip-hop wannabe.
39 November 23, 2013 Josh Hutcherson Hutcherson plays Morgan's crush Trevor Masterson.
39 February 1, 2014 Melissa McCarthy McCarthy play Morgan's adult friend Donna Ruth Baker. [29]
39 May 10, 2014 Charlize Theron Theron plays their former drama teacher Miss Christine.
40 December 20, 2014 Amy Adams Adams plays head of the school's dance squad Megan Carter Cosgrove, One Direction appears as the Dance Squad.
40 May 2, 2015 Scarlett Johansson Johansson plays last year's prom queen Camden Cruthers.

Niff and Dana

When two employees (Bobby Moynihan and Cecily Strong) find out at a staff meeting that someone is about to be fired, they assume it's them and use it as an opportunity to call out all their co-workers on various failings and transgressions. The host plays their manager who finally tells Niff and Dana that the fired employee is someone else.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 November 10, 2012 Anne Hathaway Niff and Dana speak out when someone is going to get fired at McDonald's. The fired employee is actually Carl (Tim Robinson). [23] [26]
38 March 2, 2013 Kevin Hart Niff and Dana speak out when someone is going to get fired at Barnes & Noble. The actual fired employee is, again, Carl (Robinson). [30] [31]
39 November 23, 2013 Josh Hutcherson Niff and Dana speak out when someone is going to get fired at Best Buy. Robinson was no longer in the show's cast for season 39; the fired employee turns out to be Mandrew (Taran Killam), described by Niff and Dana to have a serial killer-type look.

The Ellen Show

A parody of the TV talk show of the same name, with Kate McKinnon portrays Ellen DeGeneres, while Vanessa Bayer and Nasim Pedrad play Sophia Grace and Rosie respectively.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 November 10, 2012 Anne Hathaway Hathaway portrays Katie Holmes. [32]
39 March 1, 2014 Jim Parsons Parsons portrays Johnny Weir. [33]

Maine Justice

A court show run by Judge Marshall T. Boudreaux (Jason Sudeikis) and Jessop the Bailiff (played by the host) in which a bewildered defendant finds himself surrounded by people who repeatedly emphasize that they are in Bangor, Maine while giving every possible indication that they are in Louisiana. The characters all have thick Southern accents, and make many references to alligators (an alligator is also featured in the show's logo and as a live-hand puppet in the second sketch) and the bayou. In the sketch's first instance, Judge Boudreaux refers to a character going to school "up there" in Connecticut, but says she could also "learn a thing down here in Maine, as well!" Judge Boudreaux and Jessop the Bailiff extoll Maine as the home of jazz and Mardi Gras.

In both episodes, the defendant, who is not a local, inevitably loses the case and is sentenced to eat spicy or soggy New Orleans food.

In the first sketch, when the confused defendant asks about the absurdity of the situation, Judge Boudreaux, Jessop the Bailiff, and the plaintiff offer possibilities like:

They don't suggest which, if any, of these explanations is the truth.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 December 8, 2012 Jamie Foxx Sarah Ann Tucker (Aidy Bryant) sues Ethan Vandermark (Bobby Moynihan) for running up the utility bill in a house he rented from her where Ethan claimed that a leak in the basement was responsible. Judge Boudreaux finds in favor of the plaintiff and sentences Ethan to eat the spiciest jambalaya in town. Jamie Foxx plays Jessop the Bailiff. Charlie Day makes a cameo appearance as Congressman Finton Worthington Carey who testifies against Ethan on Sarah Ann's behalf. [34] [35]
38 March 9, 2013 Justin Timberlake Lila Jean Devereaux (Kate McKinnon) sues a college student named Peter Goldstein (cameo appearance by Andy Samberg) over a traffic incident on Union Street resulting in neck injuries where he rear-ended her at the stop sign the same time when an alligator was crossing the road. During the sketch, Peter mentions that he's a graduate of LSU to which Judge Boudreaux and Jessop react with disgust and revulsion (actually antithetical to their behavior in general since being an LSU alum would most likely cast one in a favorable light with actual Louisiana residents). Judge Boudreaux finds in favor of the plaintiff and sentences Peter to eat an entire bag of the soggiest and messiest beignets in town. Justin Timberlake plays Jessop the Bailiff. A live-hand alligator puppet is used to play the alligator that entered the courtroom pretending to be a judge. [36] [37]

Former Porn Star Commercials

Three former porn stars—Brecky (Vanessa Bayer), an unnamed woman (Cecily Strong), and a guest (played by the host)—film a barely coherent commercial for a glamorous product, in the hope of receiving free samples from the company.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 December 8, 2012 Jamie Foxx Swarovski crystals. The ladies constantly pronounce "Swarovski" as "Sabosky," while Foxx calls it "Sharky Crystals." Foxx plays "Sammy Stamina." [34] [38]
38 March 9, 2013 Justin Timberlake Moët & Chandon champagne. The ladies consistently pronounce "Chandon" as "Chambum," while Timberlake calls it "Monica & Chandler." Timberlake plays "Ricky V. I. Penis." [39] [40]
38 May 18, 2013 Ben Affleck Hermès handbags. The women refer to the brand as "Herman's," while Affleck calls it "Herpes", and appears to initially believe that the commercial is an informational spot about that disease, but the women clarify things for him—somewhat. Affleck plays "Girth Brooks," which, coincidentally (or not), is the name of a gay porn star. [41]
39 September 28, 2013 Tina Fey Manolo Blahnik shoes. The women refer to the brand as "Manuel Blondicks," while Fey calls it "Manilow Blankets", and inexplicably associates them with Barry Manilow. Fey plays "LeJean Noween."
39 January 25, 2014 Jonah Hill Lamborghini automobiles. The women refer to the brand as "Lambortini," while Hill calls it "Limbergina". Hill plays "Martin Porn-Sese".
39 May 17, 2014 Andy Samberg Bulgari watches. The women refer to the brand as "Bivilgagi," while Samberg calls it "Biv G. Roy." Samberg plays "Tweedle-Dee" while Kristen Wiig plays "Tweedle-Dong".
40 December 6, 2014 James Franco Sunseeker Yachts. The women pronounce the brand, "Sunsinker Yok-its" while the men call it "Seersucker Yaks" and talk about dressing yaks in seersucker suits. James Franco plays "Captain Jack Swallow" and Seth Rogen appears in cameo as "James Franco".
40 March 7, 2015 Chris Hemsworth Dolce & Gabbana. The women pronounce the brand, "Dole-ky and Gabbaba", while Hemsworth call it "Douche and Go Bye-Bye". Hemsworth plays "Dong Juan De Dark Hole".
41 November 7, 2015 Donald Trump Trump 2016. The women pronounce it, "Donald Tramp". Bobby Moynihan plays "Ronald McDonald McTrump". Cameo by Trump.

Eddie

When a guest to his family's home makes a verbal slip-up, obnoxious son Eddie (Taran Killam) proceeds to mock the guest mercilessly.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 February 9, 2013 Justin Bieber Eddie's sister Heather (Nasim Pedrad) introduces her new boyfriend Michael (Bieber), who accidentally combines the words "glad" and "nice" into "glice." [42] The sketch is called "Protective Brother". [43]
39 October 12, 2013 Bruce Willis Eddie's mother (Vanessa Bayer) introduces her new boyfriend (Willis), who accidentally combines the words "child" and "son" into "chun." [44] The sketch is called "Protective Son". [44]

Olya Povlatsky

Russian native Olya Povlatsky (Kate McKinnon) appears on Weekend Update to describe the hellish conditions of life in her impoverished village.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 February 16, 2013 Christoph Waltz Olya discusses the Chelyabinsk meteor that exploded over Russia.
39 January 25, 2014 Jonah Hill Olya discusses the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi.
39 May 3, 2014 Andrew Garfield Olya discusses an attack on her village by Ukraine.
40 March 28, 2015 Dwayne Johnson Olya discusses the Russian economy.
41 Nov. 14, 2015 Elizabeth Banks Olya discusses the Russian Track and Field team's doping scandal.
41 May 14, 2016 Drake Olya compares Donald Trump to Russian President Vladimir Putin.
42 October 15, 2016 Emily Blunt Olya discusses internet hacking by Russians.
42 January 21, 2017 Aziz Ansari In the episode's cold open, Olya and Vladimir Putin (a shirtless Beck Bennett) assure the American people that everything will be alright with Donald Trump as president.

Sheila Kelly

Sheila Kelly (Melissa McCarthy) is an extremely rude, aggressive, and violent woman.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 April 6, 2013 Melissa McCarthy Kelly first appeared as a basketball coach at the fictional university Middle Delaware State, in a satire of the Rutgers University scandal involving coach Mike Rice Jr.
39 February 1, 2014 Melissa McCarthy Kelly re-appeared as a congresswoman, satirizing an altercation between New York representative Michael Grimm and a reporter David LaPierre.

90's Dating Tips

Donna Fingerneck (Cecily Strong) and Jodi Cork (Kate McKinnon) host a series of instructional videos on dating etiquette in the 1990s.

SeasonEpisodeHostNotes
38 April 6, 2013 Melissa McCarthy
40 November 1, 2014 Chris Rock

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Preceded by
Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 2011–12
Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches (listed chronologically) Succeeded by
Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 2013–14