Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width

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Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width
Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width.jpg
Genre Sitcom
Created by Vince Powell
Harry Driver
Starring John Bluthal
Joe Lynch
Bernard Spear
Cyril Shaps
Eamon Kelly
Country of originUnited Kingdom
No. of series6 (+ pilot)
No. of episodes41 (including mini Christmas special)
Production
Producers Leonard White
Ronnie Baxter
Stuart Allen
Alan Tarrant
Running time30 minutes
Production companies ABC Weekend TV
(pilot + series 1–2)
Thames Television
(series 3–6)
Original release
Network ITV
Release18 February 1967 (1967-02-18) 
14 September 1971 (1971-09-14)

Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width is a British television sitcom first broadcast in 1967 as a single play in the Armchair Theatre anthology series, later becoming a series of half-hour episodes, which ran until 1971. A total of 40 episodes were made; along with a mini episode that was featured in ITV's All Star Comedy Carnival in 1969. [1]

Contents

It was originally made by ABC Weekend TV for the ITV network, with its production being continued by Thames Television from the 1968 Christmas special onwards.

Plot

The plot revolves around two tailors in business together. Manny Cohen, played by John Bluthal, is Jewish, and Patrick Kelly, played by Joe Lynch, is Irish Catholic. Above their shop, works Lewtas (Bernard Spear) who is also Jewish and imports cloth. Two further prominent characters are Rabbi Levy (Christopher Benjamin in the pilot – he reappeared in a later episode as Dr Shapiro – Cyril Shaps in series 1 to 4, David Nettheim and Jonathan Burn as Rabbi Stone in series 5) from the local synagogue, and Father Ryan (Denis Carey in the pilot, Eamon Kelly in series 1 to 4) from the local Catholic church. The Romanian-born Meier Tzelniker also makes several appearances as Israel Bloom.

One episode features Manny and Patrick trading the rights to display their pictures around the shop. Patrick has two pictures of the Pope on the wall, while Manny has one of Moshe Dayan. Manny's comment is "It's the going rate. Two Popes to one Moshe."

Another episode, "The Not So Kosher Cantor", has Patrick, a talented singer, filling in at the synagogue for a sick cantor, on the occasion of a visit by the Chief Rabbi. Coached to sing phonetically in Hebrew, Patrick performs, every moment milked for comedic value. Finally, the Chief Rabbi congratulates Patrick but reveals he knows something is up. When asked how he knows, he replies that at the end of the service, "you genuflected and made the sign of the cross!"

Notable guest artists include film actors Dennis Price as a Savile Row tailor and Rupert Davies as a Roman Catholic bishop, Fred Emney, Harold Bennett, David Kossoff (playing himself), Jack Smethurst, Dad's Army stars Frank Williams (playing another clergyman) and Bill Pertwee, comedian Dick Bentley, Roy Marsden, Victor Maddern, future Coronation Street stars Barbara Knox (credited as Barbara Mullaney) and Roy Barraclough, George A. Cooper, Rita Webb, Michael Robbins, and Ellen Pollock as Manny's mother Ruby.

Film adaptation

In 1973, Bluthal and Lynch reprised their roles in a film spin-off.

DVD release

A 4-disc set of the show, containing the Thames TV series, was released on DVD in 28 June 2010, by Network. [2] An episode from the ABC era (Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone) was featured in a boxset titled ABC Nights In, which was also released by Network on 22 December 2020. [3]

Episodes

The pilot and the first two series were produced by ABC; however, the second series (of six episodes) did not air until just after Thames Television launched on 30 July 1968, which initially aired the six episodes from that series over August and September that year. Of the 40 episodes made, 11 are believed to no longer exist. These are the pilot, five of the six episodes from Series 1, and five of the six episodes from Series 2. [4]

Pilot (1967)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
11"Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width"Missing18 February 1967 (1967-02-18)

Series One (1967)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
21"Cohen & Kelly"Missing25 November 1967 (1967-11-25)
32"Not So Much A Sanctuary, More A Penance"Missing2 December 1967 (1967-12-02)
43"Remember That Thou Keep Holy"Missing9 December 1967 (1967-12-09)
54"Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone"Exists16 December 1967 (1967-12-16)
65"Leopards Can Change Their Spots"Missing23 December 1967 (1967-12-23)
76"A Flower of Israel"Missing30 December 1967 (1967-12-30)

Series Two (1968)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
81"And a Yamulka to Match"Missing13 August 1968 (1968-08-13)
92"A Madonna For Manny"Missing20 August 1968 (1968-08-20)
103"And Leave the Rest of the World Behind"Missing3 September 1968 (1968-09-03)
114"A Suit Fit for a Prince"Missing10 September 1968 (1968-09-10)
125"Hello Mother, Hello Father"Exists17 September 1968 (1968-09-17)
136"All That Glitters is Not Gelt"Exists24 September 1968 (1968-09-24)

Christmas Special (1968)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
141"I'm Dreaming of a Kosher Christmas"Exists26 December 1968 (1968-12-26)

Series Three (1969)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
151"Old Soldiers Never Die"Exists21 August 1969 (1969-08-21)
162"Situations Vacant"Exists28 August 1969 (1969-08-28)
173"David Kossoff? He's a Friend of Mine"Exists4 September 1969 (1969-09-04)
184"Arrividerci Roma"Exists11 September 1969 (1969-09-11)
195"It's the Thourght that Counts"Exists18 September 1969 (1969-09-18)
206"And a Brother a Priest"Exists25 September 1969 (1969-09-25)

Christmas Special (1969)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
211""All Star Comedy Carnival" (mini episode)"Missing25 December 1969 (1969-12-25)

Series Four (1970)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
221"Blood is Thinner than Water"Exists25 June 1970 (1970-06-25)
232"Without Prejudice"Exists2 July 1970 (1970-07-02)
243"New Worlds for Old"Exists9 July 1970 (1970-07-09)
254"What You've Never Had, You Never Miss"Exists16 July 1970 (1970-07-16)
265"Miracles to Measure"Exists23 July 1970 (1970-07-23)
276"Only Four Can Play"Exists30 July 1970 (1970-07-30)

Series Five (1970–71)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
281"And Ecumenicals to You"Exists15 December 1970 (1970-12-15)
292"I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen"Exists22 December 1970 (1970-12-22)
303"Twenty Years On"Exists29 December 1970 (1970-12-29)
314"A Question of Policy"Exists5 January 1971 (1971-01-05)
325"The Not So Kosher Cantor"Exists12 January 1971 (1971-01-12)
336"And Nobody Knew They Were There"Exists19 January 1971 (1971-01-19)
347"You Will Go To The Ball, Manny Cohen"Exists26 January 1971 (1971-01-26)

Series Six (1971)

No.
overall
No. in
series
TitleArchival StatusOriginal air date
351"Manny Cohen R.I.P."Exists3 August 1971 (1971-08-03)
362"Romeo Cohen and Juliet Weinberg"Exists10 August 1971 (1971-08-10)
373"Holiday with Kosher Strings"Exists17 August 1971 (1971-08-17)
384"There's No Smoke Without Fire"Exists24 August 1971 (1971-08-24)
395"Weavers to Wearers"Exists31 August 1971 (1971-08-31)
406"Daylight Robbery"Exists7 September 1971 (1971-09-07)
417"Mix Me a Marriage"Exists14 September 1971 (1971-09-14)

See also

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References

  1. "A Star Studded Christmas". Staffordshire Newsletter. 26 December 1969. p. 14.
  2. "Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width". British Comedy Guide. 28 June 2010.
  3. "ABC Nights In - Don't Go Away, I Could Do With A Bit Of Cheer Right Now". British Comedy Guide.
  4. "Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width". TV Brain.