Therapy speak

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Therapy speak is the incorrect use of jargon from psychology, especially jargon related to psychotherapy and mental health. [1] It tends to be linguistically prescriptive and formal in tone. [2]

Contents

Therapy speak is related to psychobabble and buzzwords. [3] [4] [5] It is vulnerable to miscommunication and relationship damage as a result of the speaker not fully understanding the terms they are using, as well as using the words in a weaponized or abusive manner. [4] [6] Therapy speak is not generally used by therapists during psychotherapy sessions. [7] [8] [9]

Motivation

Although the use of therapy speak may be unconscious, a variety of different motivations have been identified in different situations. [2]

People use therapy speak because it makes themselves or their emotions sound more important or superior. [3] [10] In this sense, the use of therapy speak may be no different from academese, which is jargon needlessly used by university professors and other academics to make themselves sound educated. [11] This can come across as the speaker being condescending and unkind. [12] Therapy speak may be used in other ways to claim social status, e.g., by engaging in conspicuous consumption under the guise of self-care. [13]

The motivation may be to win an argument, [14] [15] or to prevent people from questioning why they have issued a demand. [7]

Therapy speak is sometimes used by "deeply insecure" people to mask their discomfort, avoid conflict, or to create distance in a relationship. [3] [13] [8] Instead of saying something clear, like "I don't want to be friends any longer", they may use therapy speak and instead say something vague like "I don't have the emotional capacity for a relationship". [3] [6] It may be used as a defence mechanism to put emotional distance between them, their feelings, and the situation. [5] They may be hoping that using therapy speak will elicit more sympathy, or at least tamp down overt criticism of themselves. [6] Because it can distance the speaker from culpability for what they say and do, it has been compared to the jargon used in businesses in human resource policies and similarly formal corporate communications to employees. [2] [12]

People also use therapy speak to cover up being controlling. [9] [16] Rather than using the language of psychology to describe oneself, the speaker uses it to judge others. [9]

Another motivation for using therapy speak is to get more support. [14] Some people may find that their needs are more likely to be met when they use therapy speak (e.g., "I was traumatized by the traffic jam this morning") than if they use ordinary language (e.g., "I felt stressed because the traffic made me late"). [14]

Among people who are dating, using therapy speak may be an attempt to signal that the speaker is emotionally mature or financially stable. [15] Talking about psychotherapy during a first date may increase the likelihood of a second date. [17]

Employers may use therapy speak as well as psychology-based activities, such educational sessions about burnout and stress management, to address some complaints from employees. [18] This may be considered psychwashing (whitewashing a bad situation through psychology), as it redirects attention away from the problems caused by the company (e.g., poor management, overworked employees, low pay) towards problems with the individual (e.g., feeling stressed because the work is pointless and poorly paid). [18]

Effects

Therapy speak can be associated with controlling behavior. [3] [9] It can be used as a weapon to shame people or to pathologize them by declaring the other person's behavior (e.g., accidentally hurting the other person's feelings) to be a mental illness, [3] [10] as well as a way to excuse or minimize the speaker's choices, for example, by blaming a conscious behavior like ghosting on their attachment style, rather than working to change the behavior. [6] [19] [13]

Like other forms of pop psychology, [12] therapy speak can result in miscommunication. [11] [13] When people use the same word to mean different things, they may have difficulty understanding each other. [3] For example, someone might talk about trauma bonding, thinking that it's the emotional bond between survivors of a shared experience; the actual meaning is the emotional attachment of abuse victims to their abusers. [14] [15] Using the word to refer to a relationship between abuse survivors will confuse people who believe it refers to an abuser–victim relationship, and vice versa. Therapists may deal with this by asking the speaker to define the word or explain it in more detail. [3] [14] [20] It also impairs communication by substituting a superficial judgement for clear communication. [15]

Therapy speak can prevent the person from clearly and correctly understanding their situation or relationship. [14] Labeling a person or situation with psychology jargon may stop people from exploring any of the nuances or complexities. [4] [14] [10] For example, someone may say that a person is toxic, when it would be more productive to understand how they have been hurt by this person, or even whether they have been hurt. [14] Additionally, it may disempower people and reduce their psychological resilience by causing them to believe that minor or ordinary unpleasant feelings are symptoms of psychological disorders. [8] [21] This can make managing the situation seem more difficult and can produce an identity around being mentally ill. [8]

Mislabeling a situation (e.g., calling it trauma, when what the person is experiencing may be better described as grief, feeling overwhelmed, being upset, or experiencing a stress response) may prevent the person from finding effective coping mechanisms. [14] [22] The lack of nuance, and its tendency towards glibness, may make it harder for the speaker to authentically interrogate and understand their own responses. [5]

According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, "[in therapy speech], there is such an emphasis on the ‘self-care’ aspect of it that is actually making us more isolated and more alone, because the focus is just on the self". [17] Therapists find that using therapy speak can prevent people from being open and vulnerable with each other. [7] It may be used in an attempt to define the other person's lived experiences. [3] It is frequently used in ways that elevate a one-sided view of a relationship or situation. [9]

When used to exaggerate – to describe an everyday harm as more serious trauma, conflating a normal level of tidiness with obsessive–compulsive disorder, mislabeling conflict as abuse – therapy speak can harm people who have serious mental conditions by taking away the language used to describe their more extreme situations. [10] [15] However, therapy speak also has the effect of normalizing and de-stigmatizing mental health problems. [10] [4] [5]

Therapy speak is often used to confess failings. [5]

Misuse of specific words may have specific effects. For example, overuse of trauma can make people with post-traumatic stress disorder feel like their life and identity is centered around their trauma. [23] Using narcissism to complain about ordinary self-interest or inconsiderateness can harm communication and discourage other people from seeking fair arrangements, for fear that asking for fairness will be called narcissistic behavior. [22] Saying "I was triggered" can minimize the interior experience of fear or anger. [5]

More generally, when the jargon of psychology becomes commonplace, the words may lose their meanings, through a process called semantic bleaching. [11] [15]

Examples

Some words encountered in psychotherapy are commonly misused. [1] [22]

Trauma
Many psychotherapists consider the term "trauma" to be overused [23] to describe "anything bad", in the words of George Bonanno, psychological trauma is often defined to begin with a horrific "violent or life-threatening event that is outside the range of normal experience", [23] such as rape, a natural disaster, or a mass shooting. [14] [22] Early symptoms may include shock and denial; later symptoms, for those who develop post-traumatic stress disorder, [23] may include unpredictable labile mood (e.g., a normal comment provokes an obviously abnormal feeling), intense nightmares or flashbacks (feeling like the traumatic event is happening again), and other debilitating symptoms. [14] [22] However, other clinicians will argue that another form of trauma isn't yet included in the DSM, caused by experiences that may not be explicitly violent, but still mirror the effects of more "severe" trauma and affects people deeply. [23]
Trigger
The term "trigger" is often used to say that the person is upset, or that a behavior caused the person to feel bad. However, a trauma trigger in clinical settings describes something harmless (e.g., the sound of a motorcycle) that is mentally tied for that individual to a previous terrible event (e.g., witnessing gun violence). [3]
Gaslighting
Declared to be the 2022 word of the year by Merriam-Webster, [24] gaslighting is often used to describe ordinary disagreement or lying and people who refuse to believe that they have caused any harm. [20] [12] In its original meaning, gaslighting, which is also called coercive control, [24] is used to describe a form of long-term psychological manipulation and emotional abuse by a close, trusted person (such as a romantic partner, family member, or close friend), that increases the abuser's power and control by making the other person doubt their perception of reality. [14] [22] [24]
Narcissism
The word "narcissism", increasingly used in common speech to imply narcissistic personality disorder, may be used casually to imply that people with ordinary or individual acts of self-centeredness, selfishness, rudeness, or self-importance have a serious disorder. However, narcissistic personality disorder is instead a pattern of long-term behavior that takes self-involvement to an unhealthy extreme, involving an unrealistic sense of superiority (grandiosity), the need for others to admire them, and a lack of empathy. [14] [13] [22]
Depressed
Used for many unpleasant experiences, including temporary sadness, experiencing disappointment, and feeling discouraged, clinical depression is an extreme level of sadness that lasts for weeks (or longer) and that interferes with activities of daily life (such as eating, sleeping, and maintaining basic hygiene standards). [22]
Boundaries
"Setting a boundary" is often misused to mean creating a family estrangement if the speaker's wishes are not fulfilled by others, but in psychotherapy, a boundary is carefully considered choice that is meant to preserve relationships. [10] A boundary is about the actions taken by the person who set the boundary. [20] For example, a person might decide that if someone asks about a painful situation, they will say "I don't feel like talking about that right now", and then repeat that statement as many times as necessary. Rather than hiding from other people or trying to control what others do, a proper boundary supports interaction and takes the other person's needs into account. [10] [13] [9]
Codependency
"Codependency" may be sometimes used to say that the speaker believes that a person is too invested in a relationship; however, codependency is instead an unhealthy relationship that enables destructive behavior. [3]
Self-care
Meant to refer to ordinary care for the body, such as by getting enough sleep, it is often used to mean pampering, such as through an expensive day at a spa. [7] [13]

History

The phenomenon of jargon from psychology appearing in everyday language predates even Sigmund Freud, who popularized concepts such as repression and denial more than a century ago. [10] [12] [5] For example, the word triggered has become more popular since the mid-20th century. [11] It became trendy on social media platforms during the 2010s, [2] [5] and can be found in dating apps. [15] [9]

The popularity of therapy speak correlates with the decline of institutionalized religion, which provides opportunities to make sense of difficult experiences, and the increased use of mental health services, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. [10] [12] [13] It is also connected to the rise of therapy culture, which is a belief that everyone benefits from undergoing psychotherapy and that psychotherapy can solve people's problems. [18]

Therapy speak has also been used in academic publications. [11]

The act of claiming that another person is mentally ill without much evidence, or being an "armchair psychologist", is also not a new social or relationship phenomenon. [3]

The trend towards using therapy speak online may be due to loss of nuance and the sound bite nature of social media. [6] [5] A brief, impersonal example of how to break off a friendship might be misinterpreted on social media as a correct, humane, and emphathetic way to treat other people. [6]

In addition to the jargon of psychology appearing in everyday speech, there are related problems, such as expecting everyone to behave like a therapist. [14] This can manifest in the form of expecting emotional validation (a therapeutic technique) from everyone, which, when accepted within a larger group, can slide into overvaluing people's emotional experiences. [23]

See also

Related Research Articles

Psychotherapy is the use of psychological methods, particularly when based on regular personal interaction, to help a person change behavior, increase happiness, and overcome problems. Psychotherapy aims to improve an individual's well-being and mental health, to resolve or mitigate troublesome behaviors, beliefs, compulsions, thoughts, or emotions, and to improve relationships and social skills. Numerous types of psychotherapy have been designed either for individual adults, families, or children and adolescents. Certain types of psychotherapy are considered evidence-based for treating some diagnosed mental disorders; other types have been criticized as pseudoscience.

Group psychotherapy or group therapy is a form of psychotherapy in which one or more therapists treat a small group of clients together as a group. The term can legitimately refer to any form of psychotherapy when delivered in a group format, including art therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy or interpersonal therapy, but it is usually applied to psychodynamic group therapy where the group context and group process is explicitly utilized as a mechanism of change by developing, exploring and examining interpersonal relationships within the group.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Histrionic personality disorder</span> Personality disorder involving excessive emotionality and attention-seeking

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking behaviors, usually beginning in early adulthood, including inappropriate seduction and an excessive desire for approval. People diagnosed with the disorder are said to be lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, extroverted and flirtatious.

Abnormal psychology is the branch of psychology that studies unusual patterns of behavior, emotion, and thought, which could possibly be understood as a mental disorder. Although many behaviors could be considered as abnormal, this branch of psychology typically deals with behavior in a clinical context. There is a long history of attempts to understand and control behavior deemed to be aberrant or deviant, and there is often cultural variation in the approach taken. The field of abnormal psychology identifies multiple causes for different conditions, employing diverse theories from the general field of psychology and elsewhere, and much still hinges on what exactly is meant by "abnormal". There has traditionally been a divide between psychological and biological explanations, reflecting a philosophical dualism in regard to the mind–body problem. There have also been different approaches in trying to classify mental disorders. Abnormal includes three different categories; they are subnormal, supernormal and paranormal.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Dialectical behavior therapy</span> Psychotherapy for emotional dysregulation

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based psychotherapy that began with efforts to treat personality disorders and interpersonal conflicts. Evidence suggests that DBT can be useful in treating mood disorders and suicidal ideation as well as for changing behavioral patterns such as self-harm and substance use. DBT evolved into a process in which the therapist and client work with acceptance and change-oriented strategies and ultimately balance and synthesize them—comparable to the philosophical dialectical process of thesis and antithesis, followed by synthesis.

Clinical psychology is an integration of human science, behavioral science, theory, and clinical knowledge for the purpose of understanding, preventing, and relieving psychologically-based distress or dysfunction and to promote subjective well-being and personal development. Central to its practice are psychological assessment, clinical formulation, and psychotherapy, although clinical psychologists also engage in research, teaching, consultation, forensic testimony, and program development and administration. In many countries, clinical psychology is a regulated mental health profession.

Psychological trauma is an emotional response caused by severe distressing events, such as bodily injury, sexual violence, or other threats to the life of the subject or their loved ones; indirect exposure, such as from watching television news, may be extremely distressing and can produce an involuntary and possibly overwhelming physiological stress response, but does not produce trauma per se. Examples of distressing events include violence, rape, or a terrorist attack.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy that is a recommended treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but remains controversial within the psychological community. It was devised by Francine Shapiro in 1987 and originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories such as PTSD.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Art therapy</span> Creation of art to improve mental health

Art therapy is a distinct discipline that incorporates creative methods of expression through visual art media. Art therapy, as a creative arts therapy profession, originated in the fields of art and psychotherapy and may vary in definition. Art therapy encourages creative expression through painting, drawing, or modelling. It may work by providing a person with a safe space to express their feelings and allow them to feel more in control over their life.

Selective mutism (SM) is an anxiety disorder in which a person who is otherwise capable of speech becomes unable to speak when exposed to specific situations, specific places, or to specific people, one or multiple of which serve as triggers. This is caused by the freeze response. Selective mutism usually co-exists with social anxiety disorder. People with selective mutism stay silent even when the consequences of their silence include shame, social ostracism, or punishment.

Behaviour therapy or behavioural psychotherapy is a broad term referring to clinical psychotherapy that uses techniques derived from behaviourism and/or cognitive psychology. It looks at specific, learned behaviours and how the environment, or other people's mental states, influences those behaviours, and consists of techniques based on behaviorism's theory of learning: respondent or operant conditioning. Behaviourists who practice these techniques are either behaviour analysts or cognitive-behavioural therapists. They tend to look for treatment outcomes that are objectively measurable. Behaviour therapy does not involve one specific method, but it has a wide range of techniques that can be used to treat a person's psychological problems.

Developmental disability is a diverse group of chronic conditions, comprising mental or physical impairments that arise before adulthood. Developmental disabilities cause individuals living with them many difficulties in certain areas of life, especially in "language, mobility, learning, self-help, and independent living". Developmental disabilities can be detected early on and persist throughout an individual's lifespan. Developmental disability that affects all areas of a child's development is sometimes referred to as global developmental delay.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Complex post-traumatic stress disorder</span> Psychological disorder

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder is a stress-related mental and behavioral disorder generally occurring in response to complex traumas.

Mental disorders are classified as a psychological condition marked primarily by sufficient disorganization of personality, mind, and emotions to seriously impair the normal psychological and often social functioning of the individual. Individuals diagnosed with certain mental disorders can be unable to function normally in society. Mental disorders may consist of several affective, behavioral, cognitive and perceptual components. The acknowledgement and understanding of mental health conditions has changed over time and across cultures. There are still variations in the definition, classification, and treatment of mental disorders.

Somatic psychology or, more precisely, "somatic clinical psychotherapy" is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on somatic experience, including therapeutic and holistic approaches to the body. It seeks to explore and heal mental and physical injury and trauma through body awareness and movement. Wilhelm Reich was first to try to develop a clear psychodynamic approach that included the body.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Psychological intervention</span>

In applied psychology, interventions are actions performed to bring about change in people. A wide range of intervention strategies exist and they are directed towards various types of issues. Most generally, it means any activities used to modify behavior, emotional state, or feelings. Psychological interventions have many different applications and the most common use is for the treatment of mental disorders, most commonly using psychotherapy. The ultimate goal behind these interventions is not only to alleviate symptoms but also to target the root cause of mental disorders.

Attachment-based psychotherapy is a psychoanalytic psychotherapy that is informed by attachment theory.

Transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) is a highly structured, twice-weekly modified psychodynamic treatment based on Otto F. Kernberg's object relations model of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It views the individual with borderline personality organization (BPO) as holding unreconciled and contradictory internalized representations of self and significant others that are affectively charged. The defense against these contradictory internalized object relations leads to disturbed relationships with others and with oneself. The distorted perceptions of self, others, and associated affects are the focus of treatment as they emerge in the relationship with the therapist (transference). The treatment focuses on the integration of split-off parts of self and object representations, and the consistent interpretation of these distorted perceptions is considered the mechanism of change.

PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder, is a psychiatric disorder characterised by intrusive thoughts and memories, dreams or flashbacks of the event; avoidance of people, places and activities that remind the individual of the event; ongoing negative beliefs about oneself or the world, mood changes and persistent feelings of anger, guilt or fear; alterations in arousal such as increased irritability, angry outbursts, being hypervigilant, or having difficulty with concentration and sleep.

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is a system of psychotherapy developed by Professor Paul Gilbert (OBE) that integrates techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy with concepts from evolutionary psychology, social psychology, developmental psychology, Buddhist psychology, and neuroscience. According to Gilbert, "One of its key concerns is to use compassionate mind training to help people develop and work with experiences of inner warmth, safeness and soothing, via compassion and self-compassion."

References

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  15. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Blum, Dani (2023-02-11). "How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating". The New York Times. ISSN   0362-4331 . Retrieved 2023-10-08.
  16. ↑ Hantiuk, Paul (16 July 2023). "What are the pitfalls when therapy-speak seeps into our everyday lives?". Day 6. CBC Radio .
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  18. 1 2 3 "Psychwashing: When Employers Use "Well-Being" To Hide Workplace Business As Usual - Worldcrunch". worldcrunch.com. Retrieved 2023-10-07.
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  21. ↑ de Lange, Catherine (19 September 2023). "Why being more open about mental health could be making us feel worse". New Scientist. Retrieved 2023-10-08. The big thing that I'm really interested in is whether they encourage people to interpret essentially all negative thoughts and feelings as symptomatic of a disorder or a problem. That has big consequences in terms of making people feel unnecessarily vulnerable and viewing themselves as having a disorder when they don't.
  22. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Stern, Robin; Brackett, Marc (2023-07-17). "Traumatized? Gaslit? How to know if you're misusing therapy words". Washington Post. ISSN   0190-8286 . Retrieved 2023-10-05.
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  24. 1 2 3 Rogers, Kristen (2023-08-07). "What gaslighting really is, and how to know if you're experiencing it". CNN. Retrieved 2023-10-07.
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