In the early morning, dancers are warming up on an English beach (Clacton-on-Sea, Essex), and Neil Tennant appears on a bicycle. The song "It Couldn't Happen Here" is being played. He cycles up to a kiosk, where he buys some postcards from the shopkeeper (Gareth Hunt). The shopkeeper complains about the political faults of the modern world, but Neil ignores him, and fills out his postcards.
Meanwhile, Chris Lowe is at a bed and breakfast, throwing the contents of his room into a seemingly bottomless trunk. He runs downstairs and sits waiting for the landlady (Barbara Windsor) to serve breakfast. In the breakfast room, Uncle Dredge (Gareth Hunt) is making bad jokes with a repetitive catch-phrase, bothering other guests, but is submissive to the landlady, who seems to disapprove of everyone except Chris, still sitting dispassionately. When the ridiculously over-size Full English fried breakfast arrives, Chris empties it over the landlady's head and runs out into the street. He runs along the promenade being chased by a group of bikers on motorcycles.
Back at the beach, Neil continues to cycle along the beach. He passes a priest (Joss Ackland) who is reciting verses whilst leading a party of school children. Two of the boys are the Pet Shop Boys at a younger age and they run to the pier (Clacton Pier). In a building on the pier, the adult Neil is seeing an exotically dressed female fortune teller; as he leaves she uncovers her face to reveal that "she" is Chris Lowe (filmed in the West Cliff Theatre bar). The young Neil and Chris (Nicholas and Jonathan Haley) look in a Victorian eraMutoscope and see a short bedroom farce: a slapstick performance featuring a squire (Chris Lowe) and a butler (Neil Tennant) making advances to a French maid (Barbara Windsor) (filmed at the West Cliff Theatre). The priest catches up with the boys and shouts more verses at them. The boys escape into the amusement arcade, where they see a rock star (Neil Tennant) in a gold tasselled suit. Then they pass into a theatre, where they see a group of nuns perform a risqué dance routine to "It's a Sin". The priest catches up with them again and he takes them outside, where it is now evening. On the pier, he commands 12 fishermen to haul a huge cross out of the sea and onto their ship.
The adult Neil and Chris pass three rappers performing "West End Girls" and go to buy a classic car. The salesman (Neil Dickson) insists on presenting his full sales spiel, so Neil and Chris try to interrupt. They pay for the car in cash and drive off, with Chris at the wheel. In the car, the news report on the radio tells of a hitchhiker who has hacked to death three people who have given him lifts. Chris pulls over for a female hitchhiker whom they see on the roadside, but instead an elderly man (Joss Ackland) gets in after a scream and banging is heard. The passenger, who fits the description of the killer from the radio, offers strange and witty anecdotes to questions asked before turning on the radio, which plays "Always on My Mind". During the song, the passenger, with a mad look in his eyes, unpacks several knives from his bag, then suddenly asks to be let out and the Pet Shop Boys continue unharmed.
They arrive at a transport café, where they are sat next to a traveller (Gareth Hunt). Whilst "Love Comes Quickly" plays on the jukebox, they order an inappropriate gourmet meal, but the waitress does not flinch. At another table, a pilot (Neil Dickson, more or less reprising his lead role in Biggles), fiddles frustratedly with a hand-held computer game that says "divided by... divided by... zero" (taking lyrics from "Two Divided by Zero"). A voice from the traveller's briefcase asks to be let out and the traveller does so, revealing a ventriloquist's dummy. The dummy starts philosophising about the concept of time. He asks whether time can be likened to a teacup in that a teacup is no longer a teacup if no one has the intention to use it as such. To shut him up, Neil puts a record on the jukebox ("Rent") and the wall of the café rises to reveal some dancers.
Meanwhile, the pilot is seen back in his office reading W. H. Newton-Smith's book The Structure of Time. After a while, he reaches a conclusion that "the dummy's a blasted existentialist". He boards his plane, determined to put an end to such daftness. Neil and Chris are driving along a country lane when the pilot attacks. "Two Divided by Zero" is playing. The car is covered with bullet holes, but the Pet Shop Boys drive on, again unharmed. The pilot's monologue piece is known to be extracted from Newton-Smith's book.
They stop by a telephone box, which is being vandalised by a group of youths. Instead of attacking Neil, they politely open the door for him and he phones his mother (Barbara Windsor). The two of them exchange the lines to "What Have I Done to Deserve This?". At the end, Neil puts his head against the broken glass on the door and blood appears.
In a suburban street, a commuter leaves home and there is a scantily clad woman in his upstairs window. He is covered in flames, but does not seem to notice. At the railway station, a zebra is led by two zebra-faced men into a goods van. Neil and Chris sit on the platform watching, then get into another van where a large snake coils itself around them. The van takes them to Paddington station.
At Paddington station, soldiers stand guard and there is a limousine waiting for Neil and Chris. They get in and drive through a tunnel as the chauffeur (Neil Dickson) quotes passages from Milton's Paradise Lost at them. They are driven through a battlefield, with bombs exploding all around them. They pull up by a nightclub and Neil and Chris enter. They perform "One More Chance" to a crowd of dancers. Each dancer has a number on their back. Once the song is finished, Neil and Chris walk up the stairs to leave and on their back are numbers too – except that both of them read "0".
Featured songs
The movie features the following Pet Shop Boys songs, either in their original form, played as background music or sung by the characters:
"It Couldn't Happen Here" (from the album Actually)
"Always on My Mind" (released in 1987, the only song not to appear on Actually or Please, but eventually appeared as a remixed version on the 1988 album Introspective)
Jonathan and Nicholas Haley as young Lowe and Tennant
Production
Development
The original idea of making a film emerged from the band's reluctance to go on tour. "We'd planned to do this very theatrical, elaborate tour last year, with the idea of filming it," Tennant said. "We'd hired theatre directors and stage designers, then to our horror we discovered we couldn't afford to take the show on the road. That's when someone suggested making a full-length feature instead."[2]
The band hoped that a film would satisfy the fans' demand to see them in live action.[3]
"People wanted to see us, and the film seemed like a good idea," said Tennant.[4]
"We'd had such fun making our videos," Lowe said, "and the whole business of marrying sounds to images always intrigued us so much that a film seemed like the next logical step. It was something we always wanted to do."[2]
Jack Bond
Lowe and Tennant were introduced to Jack Bond, who had made films at the BBC about Werner Herzog and Salvador Dalí. The singers made general suggestions to the director, but basically gave him a free hand.[2]
"The main thing was to avoid all those terrible 'pop-group-in-a-film' situations where inevitably they get caught up in a web of international intrigue," Tennant said. "Or those kind where there's interminable shots of the band rehearsing for 'The Big Show," said Lowe.[2]
Tennant said Bond, "just put us into our own songs or his idea of what our songs mean, but that doesn't mean this is just another rock video. Some people have criticized this as a long-form video, but 20 years ago, before there were videos, a movie made to music was considered a wonderful thing. I don't see why it shouldn't still be a wonderful thing."[5]
"We didn't want to do anything too literal, so it ended up being pretty surreal," said Tennant. "It's more like our version of the Beatles' 'Magical Mystery Tour' than 'A Hard Day's Night', and it doesn't have a linear plot like a thriller. So it's really very impressionistic, and our songs help tell the story as much as the images."[2]
The sequence where a man heads out to work engulfed in flames whilst the song "King's Cross" plays was, at one stage, going to be deleted due to the King's Cross station fire, but it remained at the request of the victims' families.[6]
"I don't agree with all his visions," Tennant said of Bond later. "But that's OK. It doesn't worry me. That's the kind of person I am."[5]
Reception
The Los Angeles Times said the Pet Shop Boys "don't deserve the cruel fate they receive here. They are purveyors of pleasant and popular bubble-gum rock who have been caught up in what is essentially a string of MTV-type numbers overlaid with a pseudo-surreal style and snatches of confounding philosophical discourse that might have something to do with Einstein's theory of relativity (for all I know)."[7]
Proposed sequel
After making the film, Lowe said, "The director (Jack Bond) is very keen to have us make another one. We're basically character actors, but maybe we could develop the characters a little more."[8]
"If we did another film, it would have to be another Pet Shop Boys film," said Lowe. "We're not into playing characters in somebody else's movie, like Sting. We'd rather just be the Pet Shop Boys."[5]
However, the film was a critical and commercial failure. Tennant and Lowe said in 1988 that:
[Tennant:] It was like a Ken Russell film; there is no more unfashionable filmmaker today. People nowadays expect to have to understand everything. Twenty years ago, people would have thought it was wild because they didn't have the faintest idea what was going on. Now if it had been the story of the Pet Shop Boys meeting in an electrical shop in the King's Road, and making some demos and becoming famous, and ended with us rich and number one in America with `West End Girls'... [Lowe:] and then the Decline, and then the Comeback, and a great big hit song at the end, it would have worked, don't you think?[9]
Related media
The music video for the single "Always on My Mind" is a compilation of clips from the film.
The Variety Club Remix of the Saint Etienne single "Avenue" samples dialogue from the film. Saint Etienne are known for their fondness of the band, having sampled numerous Pet Shop Boys songs.
Home video
It Couldn't Happen Here was released on VHS and on Laserdisc in the U.S. and Japan.[citation needed]
A dual format limited edition DVD and Blu-ray disc was released in the U.K. on 15 June 2020 by the British Film Institute. It has seven special features, including audio commentary by director Jack Bond, James Dillon and Simon Archer, a 27-minute interview with Jack Bond discussing the making of the film titled West End Boy, an interview with choreographer Arlene Phillips, the full-length promotional music video of "Always on My Mind", a 48-page digibook, image gallery and original theatrical trailer. This release is now out of print.[10]
The limited edition was followed by a standard release, replacing the exclusive digibook packaging with a normal Blu-ray case, on 20 July 2020.[11]
Related Research Articles
Pet Shop Boys are an English synth-pop duo formed in London in 1981. Consisting of primary vocalist Neil Tennant and keyboardist Chris Lowe, they have sold more than 100 million records worldwide, and were listed as the most successful duo in UK music history in the 1999 edition of The Guinness Book of Records. They are known for commercially successful pop songs with 'highbrow' influences from classical music, opera, film, fashion and literature.
Neil Francis Tennant is an English singer, songwriter and music journalist, and co-founder of the synth-pop duo the Pet Shop Boys, which he formed with Chris Lowe in 1981. He was a journalist for Smash Hits, and assistant editor for the magazine in the mid-1980s.
Christopher Sean Lowe is an English musician, singer and songwriter, and co-founder of the synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, which he formed with Neil Tennant in 1981.
Please is the debut studio album by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released on 24 March 1986 by Parlophone in the United Kingdom and by EMI America Records in the United States. According to the duo, the album's title was chosen so that people had to go into a record shop and say "Can I have the Pet Shop Boys album, 'Please'?". Please spawned four singles: "West End Girls", "Opportunities ", "Suburbia", and "Love Comes Quickly"; "West End Girls" reached number one in both the UK and the US.
Actually is the second studio album by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released on 7 September 1987 by Parlophone in the United Kingdom and by EMI Manhattan in North America. According to Neil Tennant and music historian Wayne Studer, Actually loosely critiques Thatcherism, the political zeitgeist of the 1980s, and was recorded in anticipation of Margaret Thatcher's re-election.
Introspective is the third studio album by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released on 10 October 1988 by Parlophone. It received generally positive reviews from critics.
Behaviour is the fourth studio album by the English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released on 22 October 1990 by Parlophone. A Japanese special edition included a bonus mini CD, exclusive artwork and printed lyrics in a white velvet-like box.
PopArt: The Hits is a greatest hits album by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys. It was released on 24 November 2003 by Parlophone. The album consists of Pet Shop Boys' top 20 UK singles along with two new tracks, "Miracles" and "Flamboyant", which were also released as singles.
Sidney Edmond Jocelyn Ackland was an English actor who appeared in more than 130 film, radio and television roles. He was nominated for the BAFTA Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for portraying Jock Delves Broughton in White Mischief (1987).
"West End Girls" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys. Written by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe, the song was released twice as a single. The song's lyrics are concerned with class and the pressures of inner-city life in London which were inspired partly by T. S. Eliot's poem The Waste Land. It was generally well received by contemporary music critics and has been frequently cited as a highlight in the duo's career.
Battleship Potemkin is a 2005 album of electronic and orchestral music written by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe of Pet Shop Boys, to accompany the 1925 silent film Battleship Potemkin by Sergei Eisenstein. It is performed by Tennant, Lowe and the Dresdner Sinfoniker, conducted by Jonathan Stockhammer, with orchestrations by Torsten Rasch. The album was released under the name Tennant/Lowe, as Tennant and Lowe are the composers. The album is produced by the Pet Shop Boys and Sven Helbig.
Results is the ninth studio album by Liza Minnelli, released in 1989. It was produced by Pet Shop Boys and Julian Mendelsohn.
Neil Dickson is an English actor, who has worked extensively in both American and British film and television.
"Heart" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys from their second studio album, Actually (1987). It was released as the album's fourth and final single on 21 March 1988 by Parlophone. The song topped the UK Singles Chart for three weeks in April 1988, becoming the duo's fourth and final chart-topper to date in the United Kingdom. Its music video was directed by Jack Bond and filmed in Yugoslavia. The group had initially written the song for Madonna, though they never asked her to record it, instead keeping it for themselves.
"What Have I Done to Deserve This?" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys and soul singer Dusty Springfield, taken from the duo's second studio album, Actually (1987). The song was released as the second single from the album on 10 August 1987.
"Nothing Has Been Proved" is a song and a single release by British singer Dusty Springfield, written and produced by the Pet Shop Boys. The song was the second collaboration between Springfield and the Pet Shop Boys, following their UK #2 and US #2 hit duet "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" in 1987. "Nothing Has Been Proved" prominently features an orchestral arrangement by Angelo Badalamenti and a soprano saxophone solo, as the song fades, by Courtney Pine. Marshall Jefferson provided a dance mix which appeared on the 12" and CD singles.
"Rent" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys from their second studio album, Actually (1987). It was released as the album's third single on 12 October 1987.
"King's Cross" is a Pet Shop Boys song, written by Chris Lowe and Neil Tennant, and is a track on their 1987 album Actually.
"Yesterday, When I Was Mad" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released as the fifth and final single from their fifth studio album, Very (1993), on 29 August 1994 by Parlophone. The single, both written and produced by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe, peaked at number 13 on the UK Singles Chart and number four on the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart. The song was remixed by Jam & Spoon for its single release, among other things removing a compression effect applied to Tennant's voice during the verses. Its music video was directed by Howard Greenhalgh. One of the B-sides is a cover of the Noël Coward song "If Love Were All".
The Most Incredible Thing is the score for the 2011 ballet of the same name, based on the eponymous 1870 fairy tale by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen. It contains music written and performed by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe of English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys. The album was released on 14 March 2011 by Parlophone.
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