"Can You Forgive Her?" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released as the first single from their fifth studio album, Very (1993). The lyrics describe in the second person a young man's humiliation when his girlfriend accuses him of still being in love with a childhood friend; the woman is "not prepared to share you with a memory", and is "going to go and get herself a real man instead". The title of the song derives from the Anthony Trollopenovel of the same name.
Parlophone released "Can You Forgive Her?" on 1 June 1993 as the lead single from Very, and it became the duo's 13th top-10 single on the UK Singles Chart,[6] debuting and peaking at number seven. Despite failing to enter the US Billboard Hot 100, it became a number-one single on the BillboardDance Club Play chart. The song reached the top 10 in Denmark, Finland, Italy and Sweden. Its accompanying music video was directed by Howard Greenhalgh and filmed in London.
Background and composition
Chris Lowe wrote the music in 6 8 time as a change from the standard 4 4time signature. Neil Tennant used the title of a book he had recently read—Can You Forgive Her? by Anthony Trollope—as a starting point for the lyrics.[7] According to Tennant, the song tells a humourous story of a man considering whether to forgive his girlfriend for taunting him about his "evident homosexual longing",[8] as he recalls his first time having sex with a boy he was in love with at school.[9][10]
In a 1993 interview with NME, Tennant described "Can You Forgive Her?" as being about "humiliation". He added, "It's also about someone not facing up to something about themselves, about sexuality. There's the bit about the cricket pavilion and the bicycle shed, thinking back to first sexual experiences. I actually think it's a bit Soft Cell-ish that bit, it's a bit pervy. The [rock music] line gives the idea that the girl sees the guy as a closet queen, and she thinks that if he dances to disco he's not really a man and he hasn't faced up to this."[11]
Release
Five different versions of the single were released in June 1993 in the UK. The 7-inch vinyl, cassette, and CD1 singles included the B-side "Hey, Headmaster", a song written by Tennant in 1979, prior to the formation of Pet Shop Boys.[12][13] The 12-inch vinyl featured remixes of "Can You Forgive Her?" by MK and Rollo. On the CD2 single, Johnny Marr remixed "I Want to Wake Up" from Actually (1987),[14] and Pet Shop Boys covered "What Keeps Mankind Alive?" in a recording from 1988 for a BBC Radio programme celebrating the 60th anniversary of Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill's musical The Threepenny Opera.[15][16]
Marketing and design
In marketing for the single, Pet Shop Boys adopted a costume involving orange overalls and extremely tall pointy hats. The hats resembled dunce caps in reference to the schooldays described in the lyrics. The costumes were created by David Fielding, who had designed the 1991 Performance Tour. The duo decided to wear elaborate costumes, as they had done on tour, as a change from the naturalistic look for their previous albums, as well as in reaction to the grunge style that had become popular at the time. Recent video games, such as Sonic the Hedgehog which Lowe enjoyed, also influenced the otherworldly aesthetic.[17]
Fielding created a scenario in which the costumed duo were aliens who came from a large blue egg.
I wanted to create a metaphor about being born and being brought up in what seems like an alien landscape on the earth, and looking out beyond, looking at the heavens, and thinking "why are we here?" Chris will have a telescope for looking at the stars… There are images connected with school games, an element in the song, which is all about growing up at school and finding one's true sexuality during that period of development behind the bicycle sheds or cricket pavilions…[18]
This imagery was used on a Top of the Pops performance on 10 June 1993, in which Lowe emerged from behind the blue egg with his telescope and Tennant was sitting on a high umpire's chair. The duo were joined by dancers wielding cricket bats.[19][20]
Promotional photos of Tennant and Lowe in costume were taken by Chris Nash. One was used on the cover of the 12-inch single, which was released last, but the costumes were not ready in time for the initial release. Instead, small models of the duo in costume, created by Fielding, were photographed by Marcus Leith for the single covers. The typography, with the letters crowded together, was influenced by Ray Gun magazine and was chosen as a departure from the frequently used Helvetica typeface, according to designer Mark Farrow.[18]
Music video
The music video, directed by Howard Greenhalgh, depicted the duo wearing their costumes while wandering in a surreal, partly computer-generated environment, with blue egg shapes and emus. Live action shots were filmed in a number of either well known or futuristic locations around London. They are shown at the top of The Monument in the City of London.[21] They cross London Bridge in the rush hour crowd and also walk over the footbridge at Poplar station on the Docklands Light Railway. The park scenes were filmed in Battersea Park and one shot shows them standing in one of the remaining sculptures from the 1951 Festival of Britainfun fair.
Stephen Thomas Erlewine from AllMusic described the song as "quietly shocking".[23]Larry Flick from Billboard magazine wrote that the first peek into PSB's new set, Very, "shows 'em hanging on the cutting edge of the trance/rave movement—a logical progression from their synth/pop salad days. Neil Tennant's distinctive "chat" singing is still oozing with deadpan charm, and partner Chris Lowe's penchant for quirky keyboard effects also remains intact."[3] James Muretich from Calgary Herald said they "still sound like disco aristocrats" on songs like "Can You Forgive Her?".[2] The Daily Vault's Michael R. Smith felt it "make a strong impression right from the start".[24] Caroline Sullivan from The Guardian commented, "As ever, it takes several listens for it to resolve itself into a distinctive tune; when it finally does, it's pretty wonderful. Juicy lyric too, something about being rejected by a girl who preferred 'a real man'."[25]Peter Paphides, writing for Melody Maker, picked "Can You Forgive Her?" as one of the magazine's "Singles of the Week" and noted the "orchestral flourishes", "colossal John Barry brush strokes" and Tennant's "refined vocals". He added that the song, after a few listens, "slowly but surely starts swamping the senses like a hot headrush".[26]
Alan Jones from Music Week named it Single of the Week, writing, "Typical sweeping orchestral stabs usher in the first Pet Shop Boys single in 18 months. "Can You Forgive Her?" is, equally typically, a highly mainstream and instant song, with oft-repeated and cheery chorus offsetting the usual mournful vocal from Neil Tennant." He added, "An obvious biggie."[27] Ian McCann of NME was less positive in his review. He commented how the duo "raid the Proteus strings module and the bombast sampler" and considered the lyrics to be a "big, smudgy moan". He added that the B-side, "Hey, Headmaster", "suggests that the Petsies are going through a 'God we're getting old' nostalgia phase".[28] A reviewer from People Magazine stated, "With his clipped "pass the Grey Poupon" elocution, Tennant talks/sings his way through a mid-tempo dance track about a man torn between his female lover and his closeted desire for a man."[29]
James Hamilton from the Record Mirror Dance Update described it as a "bouncy thumping strong "disco" anthem" in his weekly dance column.[1]Stuart Maconie from Select named it "a brash and blowsy show-stopper with a heart of pure trauma — of a man struggling with his incipient gayness and a vindictive girlfriend."[30]Siân Pattenden from Smash Hits gave "Can You Forgive Her?" a score of three out of five, saying, "Very apt. It seemed they might be relegated to documentaries about pop music but nay - it is a majestic carnival of a return to Popsville, where Neil actually sings."[31]Charles Aaron from Spin wrote, "Spine-tingling, techno-squishy pop-opera, with the year's most appropriate libretto: "She's made you some kind of laughing stock / Because you dance to disco and don't like rock"."[4] Another Spin editor, Jonathan Bernstein declared it as "spiteful" and "a thunderous stomp charting the decline of a relationship with an equal balance of power ("She made fun of you and even in bed / Said she was gonna go and get herself a real man instead")."[32]
In 1999, Tom Ewing of Freaky Trigger ranked it at number 22 in his list of the "Top 100 Singles of the 90s".[33] Ewing called it "probably the only top ten pop hit about not wanting to admit to yourself that you're gay", which he said "demonstrates what an unexpected and wonderful arena the charts can be. It went top ten because it's so catchy and so relentless. Every grand orchestral stab is an accusation, a slap in the face; every lull a threat, and the band’s disco throb has never been so unforgiving. Tennant plays up to this – his voice slips easily from taunting not-quite-sympathy to a tone of pitiless reprimand: I think most consciences sound like this."[34]
↑"New Entries: Singles"(PDF). Hit Music!. No.36. London. 12 June 1993. p.7. Retrieved 14 December 2025– via World Radio History.
↑Wright, Jonathan (28 May 1993). "UK Music News"(PDF). The Hard Report. No.327. Medford, New Jersey. p.55. Retrieved 15 December 2025– via World Radio History.
12"New Releases: Singles"(PDF). Music Week. 5 June 1993. p.19. Retrieved 15 December 2025– via World Radio History.
↑"EHR Top 40"(PDF). Music & Media. Vol.10, no.29. 17 July 1993. p.26. Retrieved 10 April 2024.
↑Pennanen, Timo (2006). Sisältää hitin – levyt ja esittäjät Suomen musiikkilistoilla vuodesta 1972 (in Finnish) (1sted.). Helsinki: Kustannusosakeyhtiö Otava. p.233. ISBN978-951-1-21053-5.
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