The Bed of Nails (Yes Minister)

Last updated

"The Bed of Nails"
Yes Minister episode
Episode no.Series 3
Episode 5
Written by Antony Jay
Jonathan Lynn
Produced byPeter Whitmore
Original air date9 December 1982 (1982-12-09)
Guest appearances
John Nettleton
Nigel Stock
David Rose
Robert East
Peter Dennis
David Firth
Episode chronology
← Previous
"The Moral Dimension"		Next →
"The Whisky Priest"
List of episodes

"The Bed of Nails" is the nineteenth episode of the BBC comedy series Yes Minister , first broadcast 9 December 1982, in which Jim Hacker unwisely accepts the role of 'Transport Supremo' with a view to developing a 'National Integrated Transport Policy' for the UK. It soon becomes apparent that opposition from various transport interests, the unions, and elements within the Department of Transport itself will make implementation impossible, and the policy is promptly ditched following a number of carefully calculated 'leaks'.

Contents

The episode has been credited with introducing the phrase 'Integrated Transport', which is now widely used within UK transport policy circles, and also for describing with some accuracy the dynamics operating within the Department of Transport.

Plot

The Prime Minister's special advisor, Sir Mark Spencer, meets with the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Arnold Robinson, in 10 Downing Street. The Prime Minister wants an Integrated Transport Policy, the implementation of which would be a political minefield - it would be popular with the public, but an overall vote loser for whoever attempted to implement it. The role had already been declined by the Secretary of State for Transport, and the civil service simply wish to make it appear that something will be done. Sir Arnold therefore proposes to appoint someone who can create "lots of activity, but no actual achievement", and concludes that Jim Hacker is the ideal candidate.

Recognising that Hacker's Permanent Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby would advise against him accepting the role, they brief Hacker alone and flatter him with a new title 'Transport Supremo', describing the post as 'an honour' and highlighting all the positive aspects of the position. They further outline the current system's deficiencies which the policy should address: rationalisation of the road and railway networks to avoid duplication, the absence of links between Heathrow airport and the Great Western Main Line, lack of coordination between the railways and bus services, lack of single tickets that can be used on both mainline rail and the London Underground, and lack of combined bus and railway timetables (including bus timetables in railway stations). They decline to mention any of the problems in achieving these, and pressure him to agree immediately without consulting with Sir Humphrey, which he does.

Hacker goes back to his office to tell Sir Humphrey and Bernard the good news. Sir Humphrey immediately baulks at the idea, then outlines the many disadvantages of this new role, which, it turns out, has been circulating around Whitehall for weeks. He explains that if a policy favours one sector, it will infuriate those that it sidelines: a ruling that favours the road services will upset the railways; if it supports the railways then the Road lobby will 'massacre [him]', and if it upsets British Airways' investment plans, "they will call a devastating press conference that same afternoon". He further points out that the seemingly-flattering title 'Transport Supremo' is rendered within the service as "Transport Muggins".

Sir Humphrey proposes to illustrate this by arranging a meeting for the Minister with three under-secretaries, from the Roads, Rail, and Air Transport divisions. At the meeting, it becomes clear that there is little scope for agreement, as each wants to expand their own branch's contract at the expense of the others. Hacker then tells them that he wants to reduce the overall transport budget, at which point there is an implied agreement by the three under-secretaries that this would be met by devastating strike action across all three transport sectors.

Hacker subsequently asks Bernard why these three civil servants appeared to be fighting their own corners instead of supporting the government. The Principal Private Secretary explains that this is how the civil service works: each department is controlled by those that it is supposed to be controlling. By way of example, he explains that comprehensive education was adopted in the United Kingdom as a result of lobbying by the National Union of Teachers who were the most powerful sectional interest and had a long term close relation with the Department of Education. He then explains that this arrangement worked across all government departments.

Hacker now concludes that the task is impossible, and asks Sir Humphrey for advice on how to get out of the commitment. Together, they decide that a few "local repercussions" of the policy, specifically impacting the Prime Minister's own constituency with job losses and unwanted development, would do the job nicely. Humphrey then suggests that if a journalist – such as the one he's about to have lunch with – got hold of the document, there would be a national outcry, and, as they have to circulate copies to every department, it would be difficult to track down the source of any leak that might occur. Sir Humphrey has lunch with Peter Maxwell, a journalist from The Times over which he outlines the negative implications of the policy on the constituency and then he 'accidentally' leaves a copy of Hacker's memo for the journalist to retrieve.

A few days later, Hacker is called back to Number 10, where Sir Mark Spencer informs him of the PM's displeasure after their confidential report had appeared in The Times. Furthermore, another report has appeared in the PM's local paper, scotching rumours of any unfortunate side-effects to the policy, and forcing Hacker to rethink his proposals. Hacker is suspicious about where this second leak came from, but Sir Mark is adamant that "the PM's office does not leak."

Meanwhile, Sir Humphrey has already prepared a Plan B which is wildly expensive and will upset HM Treasury. The plan proposes a new 'British Transport Authority', with a staff of 80,000 and a budget of £1,000,000,000 per year. They consider leaking this as well, knowing that it will most likely lead to a leak inquiry. Bernard is worried about that prospect, but the others assure him that such inquiries are only ever for 'setting up', and never actually report. This is due to both the difficulties in blaming either civil servants or politicians, and the fact that, that in most cases, most leaks do in fact come from 10 Downing Street. As Sir Humphrey remarks, "the ship of state...is the only ship that leaks from the top".

Later, both Hacker and Sir Humphrey are brought in to discuss the latest leak with Sir Mark and Sir Arnold. Sir Mark tries to intimidate Hacker and Sir Humphrey by suggesting he could track down where the first leak came from (and thereby implicate them). However, Hacker replies that he could likewise find out where the leak for the PM's opposition to their plan originated, pointing out that a leak from the PM's office would, in terms of security, be more serious than one from a Cabinet Minister's private office. Hacker further points out that the inevitable public outcry over the leaks would make his job impossible, especially as all his proposals have been effectively denied. Beaten into a stalemate, Sir Mark and Sir Arnold agree to send the policy back to the Ministry of Transport, and to set up an immediate leak inquiry.

Episode cast

ActorRole
Paul Eddington Jim Hacker
Nigel Hawthorne Sir Humphrey Appleby
Derek Fowlds Bernard Woolley
John Nettleton Sir Arnold Robinson
Nigel Stock Sir Mark Spencer
David Firth Peter Maxwell
Peter Dennis Under-Secretary, Air Division
Robert East Under-Secretary, Rail Division
David RoseUnder-Secretary, Roads Division

Reality

It is considered to be a good representation of some of the dynamics operating within the Department of Transport. [1] A research paper published by Parliament in 2010 reflected on the question of how much policy is made by the minister and how much influence the civil service quoting from "A Bed of Nails". [2]

The sketch is often credited in the UK professional community as being the source of the term 'integrated transport'. A 'Commission for Integrated Transport' was established in 1998 to provide independent advice to Government on the implementation of integrated transport policy, to monitor developments across transport, environment, health and other sectors and to review progress towards meeting our objectives [3] (this was abolished in the 2010 spending review). [4] In 2008 the passenger transport authorities in a number of major UK conurbations were renamed integrated transport authorities. [5] By 2010 the Department for Transport had an 'Integrated Transport Economics and Appraisal' unit which included in its remit to develop a strategic National Transport Model for use by the Department in the assessment of a range of transport policy options. The Model uses data on how people travel according to their circumstances and where they live. It takes into account the choices available and the use people make of the different modes of transport - car, rail, bus, walk and cycle. [6]

New Labour's first transport white paper A New Deal for Transport: Better for everyone in 1997 led to the formation of Transport Direct which established an information system to Deliver an integrated and comprehensive information service for all travel modes and mode combinations and also to Develop integrated information and ticket sales for journeys involving more than one mode of transport. The first aim was achieved in 2004, but a comprehensive national ticketing system was not. The Integrated Transport Smartcard Organisation was established in 2001 to develop and maintain the relevant data standards for electronic ticketing. [7] Some regional systems are in use and Oystercard does allow travel on mainline rail and London Underground in the London area. In 2010 the new government announced that it would introduce a national smart card ticketing system to make multi-modal journeys easy and seamless by 2014. [8]

Trivia

Related Research Articles

<i>Yes Minister</i> British political satire sitcom

Yes Minister is a British political satire sitcom written by Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn. Comprising three seven-episode series, it was first transmitted on BBC2 from 1980 to 1984. A sequel, Yes, Prime Minister, ran for 16 episodes from 1986 to 1988. All but one of the episodes lasted half an hour, and almost all ended with a variation of the title of the series spoken as the answer to a question posed by Minister Jim Hacker. Several episodes were adapted for BBC Radio; the series also spawned a 2010 stage play that led to a new television series on Gold in 2013.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Beeching cuts</span> 1963-65 plan to rationalise the British railway system

The Beeching cuts were a major series of route closures and service changes made as part of the restructuring of the nationalised railway system in Great Britain in the 1960s. They are named for Richard Beeching, then-chair of the British Railways Board and the author of two reports – The Reshaping of British Railways (1963) and The Development of the Major Railway Trunk Routes (1965) – that outlined the necessity of improving the efficiency of the railways and the plan for achieving this through restructuring.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Richard Beeching</span> British physicist and engineer (1913-1985)

Richard Beeching, Baron Beeching, commonly known as Dr Beeching, was a physicist and engineer who for a short but very notable time was chairman of British Railways. He became a household name in Britain in the early 1960s for his report The Reshaping of British Railways, commonly referred to as The Beeching Report, which led to far-reaching changes in the railway network, popularly known as the Beeching Axe.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Minister for Transport (Ireland)</span> Irish government cabinet minister

The Minister for Transport is a senior minister in the Government of Ireland and leads the Department of Transport.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Transport for West Midlands</span>

Transport for West Midlands (TfWM) is the public body responsible for co-ordinating transport services in the West Midlands metropolitan county in England. It is an executive body of the West Midlands Combined Authority (WMCA), with bus franchising and highway management powers similar to Transport for London. TfWM's policies and strategy are set by the Transport Delivery Committee of the WMCA.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Jim Hacker</span> Fictional character from the British sitcom Yes Minister

James George Hacker, Baron Hacker of Islington,, BSc (Lond.), Hon. D. Phil (Oxon.) is a fictional character in the 1980s British sitcom Yes Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. He is the minister of the fictional Department of Administrative Affairs, and later Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He was portrayed originally by Paul Eddington, with David Haig taking on the part for the 2013 revival.

A private secretary (PS) is a civil servant in a governmental department or ministry, responsible to a secretary of state or minister; or a public servant in a royal household, responsible to a member of the royal family.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Transport in Melbourne</span> Overview of transport in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Transport in Melbourne, the state capital of Victoria, Australia, consists of several interlinking modes. Melbourne is a hub for intercity, intracity and regional travel. Road-based transport accounts for most trips across many parts of the city, facilitated by Australia's largest freeway network. Public transport, including the world's largest tram network, trains and buses, also forms a key part of the transport system. Other dominant modes include walking, cycling and commercial-passenger vehicle services such as taxis.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Transport Direct</span> Division of the UK Department for Transport

The Transport Direct Programme was a division of the UK Department for Transport (DfT) to develop standards, data and better information technology systems to support public transport. It developed and operates the Transport Direct Portal which is a public facing multi-modal journey planner. It also supports the creation and management of comprehensive databases of all public transport movements in the United Kingdom with Traveline. During 2010 two key datasets were released as Open Data and published on www.data.gov.uk.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Lynne Kosky</span> Australian politician

Lynne Janice Kosky was an Australian politician and senior minister in the Government of Victoria. She represented the electoral district of Altona in the Victorian Legislative Assembly for the Labor Party from 1996 to 2010 and held key ministerial posts from 1999 through to her retirement from politics, including the key education and public transport portfolios.

Public transport ticketing in New South Wales, Australia operated using magnetic-stripe technology between 1989 and 2016. This ticketing system, known variously as the Automated fare collection system, STATS and, from 2010, MyZone, was progressively replaced by a contactless smart card called Opal between 2012 and 2016.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">OV-chipkaart</span> Dutch public transport card

The OV-chipkaart is a contactless smart card system used for all public transport in the Netherlands. First introduced in the Rotterdam Metro in April 2005, it has subsequently been rolled out to other areas and travel modes. It fully replaced the national strippenkaart system for buses, trams, and metro trains in 2011, and the paper ticket system for rail travel in July 2014.

Transport law is the area of law dealing with transport. The laws can apply very broadly at a transport system level or more narrowly to transport things or activities within that system such as vehicles, things and behaviours. Transport law is generally found in two main areas:

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Bengaluru Commuter Rail</span> Planned suburban rail network in Bangalore, India

Bengaluru Suburban Railway is an under construction suburban rail network for the city of Bangalore. A Suburban Rail system for the city was first proposed in 1983. Since then, several different route proposals were made but no Suburban Rail project took shape. It was finally approved in the 2019 Railway Budget.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Public transport</span> Shared transportation service for use by the general public

Public transport is a system of transport for passengers by group travel systems available for use by the general public unlike private transport, typically managed on a schedule, operated on established routes, and that may charge a posted fee for each trip. There is no rigid definition of which kinds of transport are included, and air travel is often not thought of when discussing public transport—dictionaries use wording like "buses, trains, etc." Examples of public transport include city buses, trolleybuses, trams and passenger trains, rapid transit and ferries. Public transport between cities is dominated by airlines, coaches, and intercity rail. High-speed rail networks are being developed in many parts of the world.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Transport Legislation Review</span>

The Transport Legislation Review is a policy and legislation review project conducted by the Department of Transport in the State of Victoria, Australia between 2004 and late 2010. The aim of the project was review of transport policy and laws and generation of new policy and legislation as a platform for better transport across the State.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Department of Transport (Victoria, 2008–2013)</span> Former government agency of Victoria, Australia

The Department of Transport (DOT) was the government agency responsible for the coordination, integration and regulation of the transport system in the State of Victoria, Australia. The department generated planning, policy, and legislation for transport in Victoria. As a result, the department drove the integration of Victoria's transport land and water transport systems and the delivery of public transport, road and port services and associated activities across the State. The department's stated mission was "Building a safer, fairer and greener transport system for all Victorians to create a more prosperous and connected community."

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Ministry of Transport (Malaysia)</span>

The Ministry of Transport, abbreviated MOT, is a ministry of the Government of Malaysia that is responsible for transport: road transport, civil aviation, marine, road safety, port authority, railway assets, maritime, air accident investigation, logistic, maritime safety, shipping, rail transport, airport, airline.

Coimbatore Metro, also known as Kovai Metro, is a proposed rapid transit system for Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu.

The North Wales Metro is a rail and bus transport improvement programme in north Wales. Styled as a "Metro", it is conceptually a multi-modal system with a combination of bus, heavy rail, and light rail services. It was initially focused on linking major settlements and employment areas of the north-east of Wales with the North West of England, with its hubs located in Wrexham, Chester and Deeside, although the programme has since expanded, with proposals extending to Anglesey in the north-west of Wales. The existing Borderlands line forms a core rail component of the network, where projects to increase connections, integrated access, and service frequency between Wrexham, Deeside and Liverpool are centred upon. The proposals were put forward in 2016 as is part of Welsh Labour's plan for north Wales. Labour has pledged to open the system by 2035. The proposals were included in the 2018 Wales & Borders franchise contest. It is the second of the three regional metros proposed by the Welsh Government to go ahead, after the South Wales Metro, and before the Swansea Bay and West Wales Metro. The project is described to be in its initial phases.

References

  1. ↑ "Special report: You simply couldn't make it up, Minister". fleetnews.co.uk. Retrieved 2 October 2020.
  2. ↑ "Transport policy in 2010: a rough guide" (PDF).
  3. ↑ "Commission for Integrated Transport". The Commission for Integrated Transport (CfIT) is an independent body advising the Government on integrated transport policy. CfIT takes a broad view of integrated transport policy and its interface with wider Government objectives for economic prosperity, environmental protection, health and social inclusion. Physical integration - the principle of ensuring transport modes operate in conjunction with one another, is just one vital element of the bigger transport picture. The Commission provides expert advice supported by independent research. CfIT was established in the 1998 Integrated Transport White Paper 'to provide independent advice to Government on the implementation of integrated transport policy, to monitor developments across transport, environment, health and other sectors and to review progress towards meeting our objectives'.
  4. ↑ "CSR: Government kills off Commission for Integrated Transport". Road Transport. Archived from the original on 29 October 2010.
  5. ↑ "Local Transport Bill". Parliament.
  6. ↑ "Integrated Transport Economics and Appraisal". Department for Transport. Our aims are to ensure that decisions on transport policy are made in the light of the best possible advice on their impacts, and to ensure that investment in all modes of transport and their management meets the Department's policy objective to seek good value for money... We are developing a strategic National Transport Model for use by the Department in the assessment of a range of transport policy options. The Model uses data on how people travel according to their circumstances and where they live. It takes into account the choices available and the use people make of the different modes of transport - car, rail, bus, walk and cycle. The Model relates the way people travel to cost, time and convenience of each alternative. It can therefore help to predict how improvements in public transport or in roads influence the modes people use and the impact of these improvements on congestion and emissions
  7. ↑ "About". ITSO.
  8. ↑ "Local Transport White Paper – Creating Growth, Cutting Carbon: Making Sustainable Transport Happen".
This page is based on this Wikipedia article
Text is available under the CC BY-SA 4.0 license; additional terms may apply.
Images, videos and audio are available under their respective licenses.