Don't Tell Me (Avril Lavigne song)

Last updated

It's about being strong. There are a lot of guys out there who just want to take you out to dinner and then, like basically go home and 'unhh' you. That's what a lot of guys are like and I just think girls need to be strong and not let any guy pressure them into doing anything.

— Avril Lavigne, MTV.com [5]

She also said in a 2007 interview:

When I was writing "Don't Tell Me", I was just, kind of, thinking about what it was like being a girl, and I was seventeen when I wrote that song, so that was all, like, fresh on my mind. I was just coming out of high school, and there's a lot of pressure for girls these days, and I'm happy to have that song, to be able to sing it up on stage every night, and to introduce it with, you know, by telling the audience that this song is all about being strong, and this goes out to all the girls, and it feels good to be able to do that.

—  MTV.com

Some critics speculate that this song might be referring to Fred Durst, the lead singer of Limp Bizkit, whom she criticized in a 2004 interview with "Rolling Stone". "He took a private jet out to one of my shows, expecting me to bang him," Lavigne stated. [6] [7]

Critical reception

Reviewing the album Under My Skin, David Browne of Entertainment Weekly described "Don't Tell Me" as such: "Lavigne herself sounds more burdened; ... the ska8erboi of the first album has turned out to be a selfish, nasty creep who leaves when she won't go to bed with him". [8] Blender Music wrote that unlike "Sk8er Boi", the up-with-abstinence single "Don’t Tell Me" finds her kicking him out of bed. [9] The Guardian was mixed: "Current single "Don't Tell Me" at least has some relevant advice to impart to her pubescent female fans: it depicts a confused and angry Lavigne fending off an over-eager boyfriend." [10]

PopMatters was favorable: "The first single, "Don't Tell Me", is probably the best song on the album, with the kind of wonderfully effusive movement that makes the best pop so damn irresistible. It starts slow and quiet, building to the first chorus, ebbs back, builds to another chorus, drops down into a bridge before coming back with a skull-crunching third chorus that leaves the riff firmly implanted in your skull. One or two reprises and we're out like a light, end of song. At that point you're either convinced or not." [11] Rolling Stone was positive: "The lead single, "Don't Tell Me," might be her most Avril-ish song yet, a petulant kiss-off to a horny boy. As the guitars get revved up behind her, she asks, "Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl/The one who gives it all away, yeah/Did you think that I was going to give it up to you?" The syntax may be tortured, but the singer sounds just fine: a righteous prude, confidently fending off the creeps." [12] Yahoo Music! liked the song but was angry because there are spelling mistakes in booklet: "we now have a stronger, more confident Avril - forthright in her determination not to lose her cherry on 'Don't Tell Me', which coyly spells 'ass' with an 'a' and two asterixes on the CD booklet, bitterly writing songs about doomed relationships." [13]

Accolades

"Don't Tell Me"
Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me.png
Single by Avril Lavigne
from the album Under My Skin
B-side "Take Me Away"
ReleasedMarch 15, 2004 (2004-03-15)
Studio
Genre
Length
  • 3:26 (single version)
  • 3:22 (album version)
Label
Songwriter(s)
Producer(s) Butch Walker
Avril Lavigne singles chronology
"Mobile"
(2003)		"Don't Tell Me"
(2004)		"My Happy Ending"
(2004)
Music video
"Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me (Official Video)" on YouTube
Award/PublisherYearCategoryResultRef.
MTV Video Music Awards 2004 Best Pop Video Nominated [14]
MTV Video Music Brazil 2004Best International VideoNominated [15]
MuchMusic Video Awards 2004 Best International Video By A Canadian Won [16]
People's Choice Favourite Canadian Artist Won
Radio Disney Music Awards 2004 Best Song Nominated [17]
RTHK International Pop Poll Award 2005Super Gold SongWon [18]
[19]
Top Ten International Gold SongsWon

Commercial performance

"Don't Tell Me" reached number 22 on the US Billboard Hot 100, and it stayed on the chart for 20 weeks. [20] On the US Adult Top 40 chart, it peaked at number 10 and remained on the chart for 26 weeks, [21] while on Mainstream Top 40 chart, it reached number nine. [22] The song was certified gold in the United States by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling 500,000 digital copies of the single. [23]

Music video

Lavigne breaks a mirror with her hands to vent her anger. Don't Tell Me video.jpg
Lavigne breaks a mirror with her hands to vent her anger.

The accompanying music video for "Don't Tell Me" was directed by Liz Friedlander, and filmed in Los Angeles in March 2004.

Synopsis

The video tells the story of the song. It opens with Lavigne's boyfriend leaving her apartment. After taking her anger out on her bedroom and mirror, she follows him around the city. During the bridge of the song, her boyfriend sees her in many places at once, so he is feeling guilty and her feelings are weighing heavily on his mind. At the end of the video, she decides that he is better off without her and lets him walk away, and in the final shot she begins to float above the surface. [24]

Reception

The video was nominated for Best Pop Video at the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards, but lost to No Doubt's video for "It's My Life". [25]

Track listings and formats

  1. "Don't Tell Me" (single version) – 3:26
  2. "Don't Tell Me" (live acoustic) – 3:38
  3. "Take Me Away"  – 2:55
  1. "Don't Tell Me" (single version) – 3:26
  2. "Don't Tell Me" (live acoustic) – 3:38
  1. "Don't Tell Me" (single version) – 3:26
  2. "Take Me Away"  – 2:55

Credits and personnel

Credits and personnel are adapted from the Under My Skin album liner notes. [29]

Charts

Certifications

RegionCertification Certified units/sales
Australia (ARIA) [71] Gold35,000^
United States (RIAA) [23] Gold500,000*

* Sales figures based on certification alone.
^ Shipments figures based on certification alone.

Release history

Release dates and formats for "Don't Tell Me"
RegionDateFormat(s)Label(s)Ref.
United StatesMarch 15, 2004 Arista [72]
AustraliaApril 19, 2004 CD
[73]
DenmarkApril 26, 2004 [74]
Germany [75]
JapanApril 28, 2004 [48]
United KingdomMay 10, 2004 [76]

References

  1. ↑ "Avril Lavigne (Apple Music)". Apple Music. Retrieved September 19, 2020. (2004's post-grunge earworm "Don't Tell Me")
  2. 1 2 3 Pareles, Jon (2004). "MUSIC; The Solipsisters Sing Out Once Again". NY Times. Retrieved February 6, 2020. In Don't Tell Me, which builds from a folk-rock verse to a hard rock chorus like a Morissette song, she kicks out a guy who pressures her for sex: Don't try to tell me what to do/Don't try to tell me what to say, she sings.
  3. 1 2 3 ""the guitars come in and there's a suitably grungy sound to work with"". Archived from the original on December 21, 2014. Retrieved September 8, 2014.
  4. ↑ Cheung, Nadine. "Top 10 Avril Lavigne Songs". AOL Radio . Archived from the original on January 18, 2011. Retrieved January 15, 2011.
  5. ↑ "Avril Lavigne To Show Fans What Lies Beneath On New Album". MTV. February 27, 2004. Archived from the original on November 6, 2012. Retrieved January 6, 2011.
  6. ↑ Freire, Juan Manuel (2024). "Las 10 mejores canciones de Avril Lavigne". Santander Music (in Spanish). Retrieved July 15, 2024. Some speculate that this might be referring to Fred Durst, the lead singer of Limp Bizkit
  7. ↑ Scaggs, Austin. "Q&A: Avril Lavigne". Rolling Stone. Retrieved July 15, 2024.
  8. ↑ Browne, David (May 24, 2004). "Under My Skin (2004)". Entertainment Weekly. Archived from the original on June 7, 2011. Retrieved August 13, 2010.
  9. ↑ "Review: Avril Lavigne – Under My Skin". Archived from the original on December 19, 2010. Retrieved November 26, 2014.
  10. ↑ "Avril Lavigne, Under My Skin". TheGuardian.com . Archived from the original on April 29, 2009. Retrieved November 26, 2014.
  11. ↑ "Avril Lavigne: Under My Skin". Archived from the original on September 23, 2008. Retrieved November 26, 2014.
  12. ↑ "Avril Lavigne Under My Skin Album Review". Rolling Stone. June 10, 2004. Retrieved November 26, 2014.
  13. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Under My Skin". Archived from the original on July 18, 2011. Retrieved November 26, 2014.
  14. ↑ "MTV Video Music Awards 2004". MTV News. MTV Networks. Archived from the original (To see the nominations, click on the "winners" parameter) on September 8, 2008. Retrieved August 7, 2011.
  15. ↑ LOIOLA, THOMPSON (October 5, 2004). "MTV anuncia indicados ao VMB 2004; D2 e Rappa lideram". UOL (in Portuguese). Retrieved October 18, 2009.
  16. ↑ "MMVA 2004 Winners". Soul Shine. June 22, 2004. Archived from the original on August 15, 2016. Retrieved July 12, 2016.
  17. ↑ "The winners of the 2004 Radio Disney Music Awards". hilaryfan.com. August 23, 2006. Retrieved December 29, 2011.
  18. ↑ "第十六屆國際流行音樂大獎". June 14, 2005. Archived from the original on June 14, 2005.
  19. ↑ "avrilfans.de Award 2003" . Retrieved December 27, 2009.
  20. 1 2 "Avril Lavigne Chart History (Hot 100)". Billboard. Retrieved February 9, 2011.
  21. 1 2 "Avril Lavigne Chart History (Adult Pop Songs)". Billboard. Retrieved February 9, 2011.
  22. 1 2 "Avril Lavigne Chart History (Pop Songs)". Billboard. Retrieved February 9, 2011.
  23. 1 2 "American single certifications – Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Recording Industry Association of America.
  24. ↑ "Avril Lavigne Just Lets Go In 'Don't Tell Me' Video". MTV. March 5, 2004. Archived from the original on February 4, 2011. Retrieved January 6, 2011.
  25. ↑ "VMA's 2004". MTV.com . Archived from the original on September 8, 2008.
  26. ↑ Don't Tell Me (Australian CD single liner notes). Avril Lavigne. Arista Records. 2004. 82876614112.{{cite AV media notes}}: CS1 maint: others in cite AV media (notes) (link)
  27. ↑ Don't Tell Me (European CD single liner notes). Avril Lavigne. Arista Records. 2004. 82876608412.{{cite AV media notes}}: CS1 maint: others in cite AV media (notes) (link)
  28. ↑ Don't Tell Me (Japanese CD single liner notes). Avril Lavigne. Arista Records. 2004. BVCA-29607.{{cite AV media notes}}: CS1 maint: others in cite AV media (notes) (link)
  29. ↑ Under My Skin (CD liner notes). Avril Lavigne. Arista. 2004. 82876-59774-2.{{cite AV media notes}}: CS1 maint: others in cite AV media (notes) (link)
  30. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". ARIA Top 50 Singles. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  31. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in German). Ö3 Austria Top 40. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  32. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in Dutch). Ultratop 50. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  33. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in French). Ultratop 50. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  34. ↑ "Belinda aumenta su popularidad" (in Spanish). El Siglo de Torreón. May 24, 2004. Archived from the original on March 17, 2023. Retrieved March 17, 2023.
  35. ↑ "Avril Lavigne Chart History (Canadian Digital Songs)". Billboard . Retrieved June 30, 2020.
  36. ↑ "R&R Canada CHR/Pop Top 30" (PDF). Radio & Records . No. 1552. April 23, 2004. p. 29. Retrieved October 14, 2020.
  37. ↑ "R&R Canada Hot AC Top 30" (PDF). Radio & Records . No. 1558. June 4, 2004. p. 57. Retrieved May 9, 2024.
  38. ↑ Avril Lavigne — Don't Tell Me. TopHit. Retrieved July 2, 2020.
  39. ↑ "HR Top 20 Lista". Croatian Radiotelevision. Archived from the original on June 26, 2004. Retrieved March 7, 2021.
  40. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Tracklisten. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  41. ↑ "Hits of the World – Eurocharts" (PDF). Billboard . Vol. 116, no. 22. May 29, 2004. p. 57. Retrieved June 30, 2020.
  42. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in French). Les classement single. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  43. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in German). GfK Entertainment charts. Retrieved October 29, 2018.
  44. ↑ "Top 50 Singles Εβδομάδα 6–12/6" (in Greek). IFPI. Archived from the original on June 11, 2004. Retrieved June 30, 2020.See Best Position column.
  45. ↑ "Archívum – Slágerlisták – MAHASZ" (in Hungarian). Rádiós Top 40 játszási lista. Magyar Hanglemezkiadók Szövetsége. Retrieved December 8, 2010.
  46. ↑ "The Irish Charts – Search Results – Don't Tell Me". Irish Singles Chart. Retrieved January 16, 2020.
  47. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Top Digital Download. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  48. 1 2 "アヴリル・ラヴィーンのシングル売り上げランキング" [Avril Lavigne's Singles Sales Rankings] (in Japanese). Oricon. Archived from the original on August 31, 2010. Retrieved November 4, 2013.
  49. ↑ "Nederlandse Top 40 – week 20, 2004" (in Dutch). Dutch Top 40. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  50. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" (in Dutch). Single Top 100. Retrieved January 11, 2020.
  51. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Top 40 Singles. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  52. ↑ "Topp 20 Single uke 19, 2004 – VG-lista. Offisielle hitlister fra og med 1958" (in Norwegian). VG-lista. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  53. ↑ "Se impone en Sudamérica..." (in Spanish). El Siglo de Torreón. June 21, 2004. Archived from the original on March 17, 2023. Retrieved March 17, 2023.
  54. ↑ "Belinda aumenta su popularidad" (in Spanish). El Siglo de Torreón. May 24, 2004. Archived from the original on March 17, 2023. Retrieved March 17, 2023.
  55. ↑ "Arhiva romanian top 100 – Editia 26, saptamina 28.06 – 4.07, 2004" (in Romanian). Romanian Top 100. Archived from the original on May 14, 2005. Retrieved October 5, 2018.
  56. ↑ "Official Scottish Singles Sales Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved June 30, 2020.
  57. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me" Canciones Top 50. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  58. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Singles Top 100. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  59. ↑ "Avril Lavigne – Don't Tell Me". Swiss Singles Chart. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  60. ↑ "Official Singles Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved January 29, 2011.
  61. ↑ "Belinda aumenta su popularidad" (in Spanish). El Siglo de Torreón. May 24, 2004. Archived from the original on March 17, 2023. Retrieved March 17, 2023.
  62. ↑ "ARIA End of Year Singles Chart 2004". Australian Recording Industry Association. Retrieved January 11, 2020.
  63. ↑ "Brazilian Top 100 Year-End 2004". Crowley Broadcast Analysis. April 3, 2018. Retrieved January 30, 2022.
  64. ↑ "Mix e singoli" (PDF) (in Italian). FIMI. Archived from the original (PDF) on May 10, 2006. Retrieved December 17, 2020.
  65. ↑ "Top 100–Jaaroverzicht van 2004" (in Dutch). Dutch Top 40. Retrieved January 11, 2020.
  66. ↑ "Schweizer Jahreshitparade 2004". hitparade.ch (in German). Retrieved January 11, 2020.
  67. ↑ "2004 UK Official Singles Chart" (PDF). Charts Plus . Retrieved January 5, 2011.
  68. ↑ "Billboard Top 100 – 2004". Billboardtop100of.com. Retrieved August 14, 2020.
  69. ↑ "Year-End Charts – Hot Adult Top 40 Singles & Tracks – 2004". Billboard.biz. 2004. Archived from the original on October 9, 2012. Retrieved November 7, 2021.
  70. ↑ "2004 The Year in Charts: Most-Played Mainstream Top 40 Songs". Billboard Radio Monitor . Vol. 12, no. 51. December 17, 2004. p. 22.
  71. ↑ "ARIA Charts – Accreditations – 2004 Singles" (PDF). Australian Recording Industry Association.
  72. ↑ "Going for Adds". Radio & Records . No. 1546. March 12, 2004. p. 24.
  73. ↑ "The ARIA Report: New Releases Singles – Week Commencing 19th April 2004" (PDF). ARIA. April 19, 2004. p. 26. Archived from the original (PDF) on June 6, 2004. Retrieved November 9, 2021.
  74. ↑ "Avril Lavigne: Single". click2music.dk (in Danish). Archived from the original on June 3, 2004. Retrieved November 5, 2023.To view release date, select Lavigne Avril from Vælg kunster (A - Å), then click on Don't Tell Me.
  75. ↑ "Don't Tell Me". Amazon Germany.
  76. ↑ "New Releases: Singles". Music Week . May 8, 2004. p. 29.
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