Behavior where a person pretends to have an orgasm
A fake orgasm occurs when a person pretends to have an orgasm without actually experiencing one. It usually involves simulating or acting out behaviors typically associated with orgasm, such as body movements, vocal sounds, and sequences of intensification followed by apparent release. It can also include giving verbal indications that orgasm occurred.
While all genders fake orgasms, women fake orgasms more frequently than men. A survey of 180 male and 101 female college students (introductory psychology students from the University of Kansas), Muehlenhard & Shippee (2009) found that 25% of men and 50% of women had pretended to orgasm (28% and 67%, respectively, for participants with experience in penile–vaginal intercourse (PVI)). Although most fake orgasms occurred during PVI, some participants also reported them during oral sex, manual sex, and phone sex.[1] The ABC News 2004 "American Sex Survey", a random-sample telephone poll of 1,501 Americans, showed that 48% of women and 11% of men faked orgasms.[2] A 2012 joint survey of men's lifestyle site AskMen and women's lifestyle site TresSugar (now PopSugar) found that 34% of men and 54% of women had at some point faked an orgasm; 26% of women said they faked an orgasm every time they had sex.[3] Other studies have found that anywhere from 25 to 74% of women admit to faking an orgasm at some point in their lives.[4][5][6] This is more than the 25 percent of women who, according to Psychology Today in 2010, reported consistently having an orgasm during coitus.[7] Women tend to achieve orgasm during intercourse less readily than men because most women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm,[8][9] and not all sexual positions provide access to the clitoris, which can make orgasms difficult to achieve for women. For women in heterosexual relationships, faking an orgasm can also be rooted in deference to their partner, need for their approval, or feelings of shame or sexual inadequacy.[10] As there appears to be 'a sexual script in which women should orgasm before men, and men are responsible for women's orgasms', a woman may feel pressured to fake an orgasm before her partner in order to please them and avoid hurting their feelings.[1]
Men fake orgasms for several reasons. Some fail to orgasm, but fake climax in order to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings. Also, some men may wish to end intercourse, but believe that sex must necessarily end with a man orgasming, and so fake an orgasm to fulfill that.[1] For men, it is more difficult to fake an orgasm, since ejaculation usually accompanies orgasm in males, and their partners can usually see whether or not this happens. Faking orgasms in men becomes easier while using condoms.[11] In rare cases, a man is worried that the condom is torn or will tear, and that he will unintentionally make his partner pregnant, and so he fakes an orgasm in order to avoid ejaculation.[1]
Brain activity
In a 2005 University of Groningen study conducted by Gert Holstege and Janniko R. Georgiadis, the brain activity of 24 men and women (12 couples) was observed in an MRIscanner in different circumstances.[12][13] For the female participants, their brain was scanned in four states: simply resting, faking an orgasm, having their clitoris stimulated by their male partner's fingers, and clitoral stimulation to the point of orgasm.[14] Brain scans found that, when women were tasked to fake an orgasm, the female brain centres that control conscious movement remained active, whereas when they experienced real orgasms, all activity disappeared from the movement control centres, and the light from the emotional centres of the brain went out as well.[12][13][14] With the exception of some Brodmann areas of the cerebral cortex (which only showed activation in men), the same brain regions were activated or shut down in men and women during real orgasms (although the female orgasm was found to be longer and more intense on average).[12][13]
According to a PET study by Huynh et al. (2013) the dorsolateral (left) side of the pontine tegmentum area was always activated whenever women had a real orgasm, attempted but failed to have an orgasm, and imitated (faked) an orgasm, whereas the ventrolateral (right) side of the pontine tegmentum was only activated when women had a real orgasm.[15]
Other factors
Reasons for faking orgasm based on ABC News 2004 "The American Sex Survey" poll
Orgasm is not always achieved easily during sexual activity. For both sexes, the condition of being unable to orgasm during sex is known as anorgasmia; it can be caused by a variety of factors, including factors in one's life such as stress, anxiety, depression, or fatigue, as well as factors related to the sex itself; including worry, guilt, fear of painful intercourse, fear of pregnancy, the undesirability of a partner, and the undesirability of a setting. It can also be caused by drug use, including alcohol and other substances, or side effects from prescription drugs.[16]
People can fake orgasms for number of reasons, such as when their partner wants them to orgasm but they are unable, or when they desire to stop having sex but are not comfortable telling their partner directly, avoiding negative consequences, or for pleasing their partner.[17]
That women should fake an orgasm was, about the year AD2, recommended by the Roman poet Ovid in his famous book Ars Amatoria:
So, then, my dear ones, feel the pleasure in the very marrow of your bones; share it fairly with your lover, say pleasant, naughty things the while. And if Nature has withheld from you the sensation of pleasure, then teach your lips to lie and say you feel it all. Unhappy is the woman who feels no answering thrill. But, if you have to pretend, don't betray yourself by over-acting. Let your movements and your eyes combine to deceive us, and, gasping, panting, complete the illusion.[18]
Patricia Watson (2002) noted that, although a preceding line (sentiat ex imis Venerem resoluta medullis / femina, et ex aequo res iuuet illa duos) advises that women should enjoy sex, too, the context shows that Ovid was primarily concerned with male sexual satisfaction: he recommended which sexual positions would make the woman most appealing to the man, and that if the woman was unable to orgasm, she should at least fake it for her male lover's enjoyment.[19]
People can also fake orgasms for reasons of display or presentation, such as during phone sex,[1] or in pornography.[20]:13–15
Women with higher incomes than their partner are twice as likely to fake orgasms and have a lower rate of sexual satisfaction. Perceived masculine fragility also increases fake orgasms and decreases satisfaction.[21]
Feminists have asserted that women faking orgasms is a sign of male-centered sexuality; in a society that celebrates only male sexual pleasure, women may feel pressured to engage in acts that bring their male partners to orgasm but that do not provide them physical pleasure. Women in a discussion group in 1967 analyzed their motivations for faking orgasms and decided that faking was a response to pressures placed upon them by men. As such, the urge to fake an orgasm often sits in a broader context of other problems with sexual repression or male-centered sexuality. Many of these women also experienced feelings such as sexual rejection by their partners, or on the other hand, unwanted sexual attention; some were afraid to tell their partners what they wanted, and others said their partners resented being told what they wanted.[22]
Hugo M. Mialon developed a game theoretical analysis of faking orgasms as a signaling game. Only some of the predictions of his model were consistent with survey data used to check the validity of the model. Among other things, the survey data suggested that both women and men who would be more concerned if their partner were faking are less likely to fake themselves, and that older women and men are more likely to fake than younger ones.[23]
One study of orgasm found that women who fake orgasms were more likely to neglect their partners and flirt with other men at social gatherings. The authors of this study speculated that women who fake orgasms may be more likely to engage in sexual intercourse with men other than their partner, although they recommended caution at interpreting their findings due to a small data set and a large number of variables being studied.[24]
In therapy or counseling, women are more likely to inaccurately portray their sexual behavior (such as by claiming to orgasm when they do not) to a male therapist than to a female one, although women may still withhold the same information from female therapists.[10]
Evolutionary perspective
From an evolutionary perspective, females might fake orgasms in order to signal fidelity to a male partner, particularly if he is of low-genetic quality.[25] If a female has sex with many partners (employing a polygamousmating strategy), her aim may be to secure benefits from multiple males, such as resources, whilst aiming to only reproduce with males of high-genetic quality.[26] In order to secure resources from low-genetic males, the female would need to imply commitment to reproduction with each male, as males do not want to waste resources on a female who may not sire their child.[26]
A true orgasm is known to increase the number of sperm carried to the uterus post-male orgasm (suggesting reproductive benefits)[27] and has suggested pair-bonding benefits.[26] Faking an orgasm with a low-genetic quality mate would lead that mate to believe that: a) they could be the father of a child born to that mother[26] and b) that the female is committed to them and them alone, because she appears satisfied.[26]
A fake orgasm could also be a mate-retention technique, as research has indicated that women who perceive a greater risk of infidelity from their partner report a greater number of faked orgasms. This behavior would be beneficial for the female in retaining a long-term mate, as women who appear to have frequent orgasms have partners that report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship, in comparison to women that do not orgasm as frequently.[28] Some research has indicated that women who fake orgasm frequently have also been shown to display other mate retention behaviors, which include:
Mate guarding (e.g. paying attention to who the partner is spending time with and often checking up on them);
Inter-sexual negative inducements (flirting with another individual whilst their partner is looking);
Positive inducements (e.g. dressing in a certain manner to impress their partner)
Displaying possession signals in public (e.g., kissing a partner in view of other females who are seen as a threat); and,
Intra-sexual negative inducements (e.g., displaying aggressive behavior towards another female who is caught looking at their partner).
The frequency to which these other forms of mate retention occur is directly related to the risk of infidelity; limited research indicates that once the risk of infidelity is controlled for, the prevalence of other mate retention behaviors are greatly reduced.[28]
Fake orgasm has also been shown to function as a mate-retention technique when the female, as opposed to the male, has a higher risk of infidelity.[29] For example, it has been suggested that a main function of female orgasm is to retain the sperm of a favored partner, therefore it is advantageous for men to pay attention to their partners orgasm to ensure they have been selected.[29] Men who are heavily invested in their relationship would experience greater costs in potential cuckoldry and sperm competition.[29] Consequently, in situations where the woman has a perceived high risk of infidelity, men may be especially interested in ensuring their partner attains a copulatory orgasm.[29] Due to this attentiveness, women may fake an orgasm in order to manipulate their level of commitment signalling mate selection to their partner. Commitment manipulation is a mate-retention technique in itself, often displayed by a partner when there is a perceived risk of infidelity.[30] While research has shown that 25 percent of males also display fake orgasms,[1] there is limited research into this area with no current evidence suggesting that men fake an orgasm to retain a mate. The main reasons men gave for faking an orgasm is that they wanted the sex to end as achieving orgasm was unlikely but did not want to hurt the feelings of their partner.[1]
A study of orgasms in female humans suggested that most men are quite accurate in knowing whether their partners faked orgasm or not.[24] In this study, accuracy was varied (for example, one man suggesting that his partner never faked orgasm, and his partner suggesting that she faked orgasm 100 percent of the time), but the general moderate accuracy of men in detecting fake orgasm suggests that it may be an evolutionary counter-adaptation by men in order to not be fooled into believing female attempts at implying commitment (monogamy) and in order to detect the true satisfaction levels of the female partner. The idea that men place great importance on female mate orgasm[24] lends support to this theory.
The topic of fake orgasm was brought to the mainstream in 1970 by Susan Lydon, who published "The Politics of Orgasm" in Ramparts magazine. [32] She wrote, "With their men, they often fake orgasm to appear 'good in bed' and thus place an intolerable physical burden on themselves and a psychological burden on the men unlucky enough to see through the ruse." Newspapers and radio talk shows debated her work. Women began to demand equal rights in bed, insisting that their pleasure was its own goal.[33][34]
The 1989 American film When Harry Met Sally... is well known for a scene in which the character Sally, played by Meg Ryan, fakes an orgasm while sitting in a crowded deli in order to demonstrate how persuasive a fake orgasm can be.[31]
In "The Mango" episode of the American sitcom television program Seinfeld, the main characters Elaine and Kramer admit to faking orgasms, and another main character, George, becomes paranoid that his own girlfriend has been faking orgasms based on Elaine's admission that she faked orgasms "all the time" while with Jerry, who subsequently becomes desperate to have orgasmic sex with Elaine in order to "save the friendship."[35]
Orgasm or sexual climax is the sudden release of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, characterized by intense sexual pleasure resulting in rhythmic, involuntary muscular contractions in the pelvic region. Orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system and experienced by both males and females; the body's response includes muscular spasms, a general euphoric sensation, and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations. The period after orgasm is typically a relaxing experience, after the release of the neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin, as well as endorphins.
Sexual intercourse is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion and thrusting of the male penis inside the female vagina for sexual pleasure, reproduction, or both. This is also known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Sexual penetration has been known by humans since the dawn of time, and has been an instinctive form of sexual behaviour and psychology among humans. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include anal sex, oral sex, fingering and penetration by use of a dildo, and vibrators. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more people and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure. They can contribute to human bonding.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a male sexual dysfunction that occurs when a male expels semen soon after beginning sexual activity, and with minimal penile stimulation. It has also been called early ejaculation, rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax and (historically) ejaculatio praecox. There is no uniform cut-off defining "premature", but a consensus of experts at the International Society for Sexual Medicine endorsed a definition of around one minute after penetration. The International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10) applies a cut-off of 15 seconds from the beginning of sexual intercourse.
Sexual stimulation is anything that leads to sexual arousal or orgasm. This thing can be physical or of other senses, and is known as a stimulus.
Sexual dysfunction is difficulty experienced by an individual or partners during any stage of normal sexual activity, including physical pleasure, desire, preference, arousal, or orgasm. The World Health Organization defines sexual dysfunction as a "person's inability to participate in a sexual relationship as they would wish". This definition is broad and is subject to many interpretations. A diagnosis of sexual dysfunction under the DSM-5 requires a person to feel extreme distress and interpersonal strain for a minimum of six months. Sexual dysfunction can have a profound impact on an individual's perceived quality of sexual life. The term sexual disorder may not only refer to physical sexual dysfunction, but to paraphilias as well; this is sometimes termed disorder of sexual preference.
The human sexual response cycle is a four-stage model of physiological responses to sexual stimulation, which, in order of their occurrence, are the excitement, plateau, orgasmic, and resolution phases. This physiological response model was first formulated by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, in their 1966 book Human Sexual Response. Since that time, other models regarding human sexual response have been formulated by several scholars who have criticized certain inaccuracies in the human sexual response cycle model.
Sexual jealousy is a special form of jealousy in sexual relationships, based on suspected or imminent sexual infidelity. The concept is studied in the field of evolutionary psychology.
Taoist sexual practices are the ways Taoists may practice sexual activity. These practices are also known as "joining energy" or "the joining of the essences". Practitioners believe that by performing these sexual arts, one can stay in good health, and attain longevity or spiritual advancement.
Sex and drugs refers to the influence of substances on sexual function and experience. Sex and drugs date back to ancient humans and have been interlocked throughout human history. Sexual performance is known as the execution of the act of sex and the quality of sexual activity. This includes elements such as libido, sexual function, sensation . Drugs are termed as any chemical substance that produces a physiological and or psychological change in an organism. Drugs categorized as psychoactive drugs, antihypertensive drugs, antihistamines, cancer treatment, and hormone medication have a significant impact on sexual performance. Various drugs result in different effects, both positive and negative. Negative effects may include low libido, erection issues, vaginal dryness and anorgasmia. Positive effects usually address these issues, overall enhancing sexual performance and contributing to a more enjoyable sexual experience. It is crucial to know that the impact of drugs on sexual performance varies among individuals, especially among different genders.
Delayed ejaculation (DE) is a man's inability or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite typical sexual desire and sexual stimulation. Generally, a man can reach orgasm within a few minutes of active thrusting during sexual intercourse, whereas a man with delayed ejaculation either does not have orgasms at all or cannot have an orgasm until after prolonged intercourse which might last for 30–45 minutes or more. Delayed ejaculation is closely related to anorgasmia.
In human anatomy, the penis is an external male sex organ that serves as a passage for urine during urination and semen during ejaculation. The main parts are the root, body, the epithelium of the penis including the shaft skin, and the foreskin covering the glans. The body of the penis is made up of three columns of tissue: two corpora cavernosa on the dorsal side and corpus spongiosum between them on the ventral side. The urethra passes through the prostate gland, where it is joined by the ejaculatory ducts, and then through the penis. The urethra goes across the corpus spongiosum and ends at the tip of the glans as the opening, the urinary meatus.
Human female sexuality encompasses a broad range of behaviors and processes, including female sexual identity and sexual behavior, the physiological, psychological, social, cultural, political, and spiritual or religious aspects of sexual activity. Various aspects and dimensions of female sexuality, as a part of human sexuality, have also been addressed by principles of ethics, morality, and theology. In almost any historical era and culture, the arts, including literary and visual arts, as well as popular culture, present a substantial portion of a given society's views on human sexuality, which includes both implicit (covert) and explicit (overt) aspects and manifestations of feminine sexuality and behavior.
Ejaculation is the discharge of semen from the testicles through the penis and out the urethra. It is the final stage and natural objective of male sexual stimulation, and an essential component of natural conception. After forming an erection, many men emit pre-ejaculatory fluid during stimulation prior to ejaculating. Ejaculation involves involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor and is normally linked with orgasm. It is a normal part of male human sexual development.
Female copulatory vocalizations, also called female copulation calls or coital vocalizations, are produced by female primates, including human females, and female non-primates. They are not purposeful, but instead are evolutionary and are spontaneously produced by female primates, including women, to encourage her partner to produce good-quality sperm during the mating process. Copulatory vocalizations usually occur during copulation and are hence related to sexual activity. Vocalizations that occur before intercourse, for the purpose of attracting mates, are known as mating calls.
Mate preferences in humans refers to why one human chooses or chooses not to mate with another human and their reasoning why. Men and women have been observed having different criteria as what makes a good or ideal mate. A potential mate's socioeconomic status has also been seen important, especially in developing areas where social status is more emphasized.
Sexual arousal describes the physiological and psychological responses in preparation for sexual intercourse or when exposed to sexual stimuli. A number of physiological responses occur in the body and mind as preparation for sexual intercourse, and continue during intercourse. Male arousal will lead to an erection, and in female arousal, the body's response is engorged sexual tissues such as nipples, clitoris, vaginal walls, and vaginal lubrication.
Penile-vaginal intercourse or vaginal intercourse is a form of penetrative sexual intercourse in human sexuality, in which an erect penis is inserted into a vagina. Synonyms are: vaginal sex, cohabitation, coitus, intimacy, or (poetic) lovemaking. It corresponds to mating or copulation in non-human animals.
Sperm competition is a form of post-copulatory sexual selection whereby male sperm simultaneously physically compete to fertilize a single ovum. Sperm competition occurs between sperm from two or more rival males when they make an attempt to fertilize a female within a sufficiently short period of time. This results primarily as a consequence of polyandrous mating systems, or due to extra-pair copulations of females, which increases the chance of cuckoldry, in which the male mate raises a child that is not genetically related to him. Sperm competition among males has resulted in numerous physiological and psychological adaptations, including the relative size of testes, the size of the sperm midpiece, prudent sperm allocation, and behaviors relating to sexual coercion, however this is not without consequences: the production of large amounts of sperm is costly and therefore, researchers have predicted that males will produce larger amounts of semen when there is a perceived or known increase in sperm competition risk.
Human mate guarding refers to behaviours employed by both males and females with the aim of maintaining reproductive opportunities and sexual access to a mate. It involves discouraging the current mate from abandoning the relationship whilst also warding off intrasexual rivals. It has been observed in many non-human animals, as well as humans. Sexual jealousy is a prime example of mate guarding behaviour. Both males and females use different strategies to retain a mate and there is evidence that suggests resistance to mate guarding also exists.
The orgasm gap or pleasure gap is the disparity in sexual satisfaction—specifically the unequal frequency in achieving orgasm during sexual encounters—between heterosexual men and women. Across every demographic that has been studied, women report the lowest frequency of reaching orgasm during sexual encounters with men. Researchers believe that multiple causes contribute to the orgasm gap. Orgasm gap researcher Laurie Mintz argues that the primary reason for this form of gender inequality is due to "our cultural ignorance of the clitoris" and that it is commonplace to "mislabel women's genitals by the one part that gives men, but not women, reliable orgasms."
↑ Kammerer-Doak, Dorothy; Rogers, Rebecca G. (June 2008). "Female Sexual Function and Dysfunction". Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America. 35 (2): 169–183. doi:10.1016/j.ogc.2008.03.006. PMID18486835. Most women report the inability to achieve orgasm with vaginal intercourse and require direct clitoral stimulation ... About 20% have coital climaxes...
1 2 Person, E.S. (1983). "Women in Therapy: Therapist Gender as a Variable." Int. R. Psycho-Anal., 10:193-204.
↑ Sohn, A. (16 February 2004). "Snow Job". New York Magazine. Retrieved 5 February 2022.
↑ Grohol, J.M. (14 Sep 2009). "Why Women (and Men!) Fake Orgasm". World of Psychology. Archived from the original on 29 September 2017. Retrieved 14 September 2009.(The actual study is not printed yet, until then there's no other resource on that.)
↑ Taormino, Tristan; Shimizu, Celine Parreñas; Penley, Constance; Miller-Young, Mireille (2013). The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure. New York: Feminist Press at the City University of New York. ISBN9781558618190. OCLC828140733.
1 2 3 4 McKibbin, William F.; Bates, Vincent M.; Shackelford, Todd K.; Hafen, Christopher A.; LaMunyon, Craig W. (2010-12-01). "Risk of sperm competition moderates the relationship between men's satisfaction with their partner and men's interest in their partner's copulatory orgasm". Personality and Individual Differences. 49 (8): 961–966. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.08.005.
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