Lovesickness

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Lovesickness is the mental state brought on by the personal experience of unrequited love, or unrequited limerence (also known as infatuated love or being smitten). [1] [2] Research on the biology of romantic love indicates that the early stage of intense romantic love (also called passionate love) resembles addiction, but academics do not currently agree on how love addiction is defined. [3] [4] Lovesickness is characterized by addictive cravings, depression and intrusive thoughts about a love object. [2]

Contents

The term "lovesickness" is rarely used in modern medicine, though new research is emerging on the impact of heartbreak on the body and mind. [5]

History

In the medical texts of ancient Greece and Rome, lovesickness was characterized as a "depressive" disease, "typified by sadness, insomnia, despondency, dejection, physical debility, and blinking." [6] In Hippocratic texts, "love melancholy" is expected as a result of passionate love. [7] Lovesickness could be cured through the acquisition of the person of interest, such as in the case of Prince Antiochus. [8]

In ancient literature, however, lovesickness manifested itself in "violent and manic" behavior. [6] In ancient Greece, Euripides' play Medea portrays Medea's descent into "violence and mania" as a result of her lovesickness for Jason; [9] meanwhile, in ancient Rome, Virgil's Dido has a manic reaction to the betrayal of her lover, Aeneas, and commits suicide. [10] Dido's case is especially interesting, as the cause of her lovesickness is attributed to the meddling of the gods Juno and Venus. [11]

In the Middle Ages, unrequited love was considered "a trauma which, for the medieval melancholic, was difficult to relieve." [12] Treatments included light therapy, rest, exposure to nature, and a diet of lamb, lettuce, fish, eggs, and ripe fruit. [12]

The Death of Dido by Joseph Stallaert, c. 1872, oil on canvas - Cinquantenaire Museum - Brussels, Belgium Death of Dido by Joseph Stallaert, c. 1872, oil on canvas - Cinquantenaire Museum - Brussels, Belgium - DSC08548.jpg
The Death of Dido by Joseph Stallaert, c. 1872, oil on canvas - Cinquantenaire Museum - Brussels, Belgium

In both antiquity and the Middle Ages, lovesickness was often explained by an imbalance in the humors. An excess of black bile, the humor correlated with melancholy, was usually considered the cause. [12] [10]

In 1915, Sigmund Freud asked rhetorically, "Isn't what we mean by 'falling in love' a kind of sickness and craziness, an illusion, a blindness to what the loved person is really like?" [13]

Modern interpretation

Scientific study on the topic of lovesickness has found that those in love experience a kind of high similar to that caused by illicit drugs such as cocaine. In the brain, certain neurotransmitters — phenethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine and oxytocin — elicit the feeling of high from "love" or "falling in love" using twelve different regions of the brain. These neurotransmitters mimic the feeling of amphetamines. [14]

On average, a psychologist does not get referrals from general practitioners mentioning "lovesickness", although this can be prevalent through the language of what the patient feels. With the common symptoms of lovesickness being related to other mental diseases, it is often misdiagnosed or it is found that with all the illnesses one could be facing, love is the underlying problem. [15] This is dangerous when one does not seek help or cannot cope because love has been known to be fatal (a consequence of which might be attempted suicide, thus dramatising the ancient contention that love can be fatal). [16]

In his book The Social Nature of Mental Illness, Len Bowers postulates that although physiological differences exist in the brains of those that are deemed "mentally ill", there are several other criteria that must be met before the differences can be called a malfunction. It is possible, therefore, that many mental illnesses (such as lovesickness) will never bear strong enough evidence to clinically warrant "legitimate" affliction by clinical standards without further correspondingly parasympathetic criteria of established dysfunction(s).

Frank Tallis, a clinical psychologist, suggests in his 2005 article that lovesickness occurs when one is "truly, madly, deeply" in love and should be taken more seriously by medical professionals. [16]

Tallis includes a list of common symptoms of lovesickness in the following:

According to Tallis, many symptoms of lovesickness can be categorized under the DSM-IV and the ICD-10. Lovesickness resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), because it includes a preoccupation. [16]

Scientific research

This paragraph is an excerpt from Biology of romantic love § Obsessive thinking.[ edit ]
Obsessive thinking about a loved one has been called a hallmark or a cardinal trait of romantic love, [17] [18] ensuring that the loved one is not forgotten. [19] Some reports have been made that people can even spend as much as 85 to 100% of their days and nights thinking about a love object. [20] One study found that on average people in love spent 65% of their waking hours thinking about their beloved. [21] Another study used cluster analysis to find several different groups of lovers, with the least intense group spending 35% of their time on average and the most intense at 72%. [22] Since the late 1990s, these obsessional features have been compared to obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD). [23] [24] [25] This is also sometimes paired with a theory that obsessive (or intrusive) thinking is related to serotonin levels being lowered while in love, although study results have been inconsistent or negative. [23] [25] [26] [27] Another theory relates obsessive thinking to addiction, because drug users exhibit obsessive thoughts about drug use, as well as compulsions. [28] [29] [30]
The early stage of romantic love is being compared to a behavioral addiction (i.e. addiction to a non-substance) but the "substance" involved is the loved person. [29] [31] [32] [28] Addiction involves a phenomenon known as incentive salience , also called "wanting" (in quotes). [30] [33] This is the property by which cues in the environment stand out to a person and become attention-grabbing and attractive, like a "motivational magnet" which pulls a person towards a particular reward. [34] [33] Incentive salience differs from craving in that craving is a conscious experience and incentive salience may or may not be. While incentive salience can give feelings of strong urgency to cravings, it can also motivate behavior unconsciously, as in an experiment where cocaine users were unaware of their own decisions to choose a low dose of cocaine (which they believed was placebo) more often than an actual placebo. [35] In the incentive-sensitization theory of addiction, repeated drug use renders the brain hypersensitive to drugs and drug cues, resulting in pathological levels of "wanting" to use drugs. [28] [33] People in love are thought to experience incentive salience in response to their beloved. Lovers share other similarities with addicts as well, like tolerance, dependence, withdrawal, relapse, craving and mood modification. [32]

In the arts

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet portrays the true madness of "love" and the grief that the two young, infatuated lovers feel. [36] When Romeo finds his love dead (or so he believes), with the thought of living without his "true love", the grief and depression overcomes him and he takes his own life. After waking and seeing his dead body, Juliet is overcome with despair and takes her own life.

Gothic metal songs thematize lovesickness from Medieval literary influences. "This emotional and physical distress is a key element of fin'amor that echoes into Gothic metal", according to The Oxford Handbook of Music and Medievalism. "In particular, lovesickness was associated with desires and passions that remained unfulfilled, resulting in symptoms such as sleeplessness, sighing, and loss of appetite, all of which were considered manifestations of the mind's efforts to restrain its passions." [37]

See also

References

  1. ↑ Money 1997 , p. 119, 132–133: "The English language lacked a noun singular for the state of being love smitten, or having fallen in love, until Dorothy Tennov (1979) coined the term, limerence, to fill the void. It is formally defined as follows:
    limerence (adjective, limerent)
    the personal experience of having fallen in love and of being irrationally and fixatedly love stricken or love smitten, irrespective of the degree to which one’s love is requited or unrequited.
    [...] Unrequited love is a synonym for unrequited limerence. It leaves a person vulnerable to an attack of lovesickness. Lovesickness may be transitory or prolonged, and major or minor in degree. It may be brought on by a person's anticipatory uncertainty about getting or not getting a reciprocal response to his/her limerence. Lovesickness may be brought on also by unequal proportions of limerence, for example, 100:70 instead of 100:100. The most unequal match is 100:0, total rejection.
    The formal definition of lovesickness (Money, 1986) is as follows.
    lovesickness
    the personal experience and manifest expression of agony when the partner with whom one has fallen in love is a total mismatch whose response is indifference, or a partial mismatch whose reciprocity is incomplete, deficient, anomalous, or otherwise unsatisfactory."
  2. 1 2 Leonti, Marco; Casu, Laura (2 July 2018). "Ethnopharmacology of Love". Frontiers in Psychology . 9: 567. doi: 10.3389/fphar.2018.00567 . PMC   6041438 . PMID   30026695.: "The feeling of romantic love (also 'infatuated love' or 'limerence'; see Tennov, 1998) is the strongest sensation known to humankind and is characterized by a mix of unbearable exhilarating joy, anxiety, obsessive thinking and craving for emotional and physical union [...]. [...] Unrequited love, erotic frustration and the craving for the beloved object manifest themselves in what is commonly referred to as lovesickness (see Tennov, 1998). This often depressive and melancholic state of mind is characterized by intrusive thinking and also has an addictive component."
  3. ↑ Fisher, Helen; Xu, Xiaomeng; Aron, Arthur; Brown, Lucy (9 May 2016). "Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other". Frontiers in Psychology . 7: 687. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687 . PMC   4861725 . PMID   27242601.
  4. ↑ Earp, Brian D.; Wudarczyk, Olga A.; Foddy, Bennett; Savulescu, Julian (2017). "Addicted to Love: What Is Love Addiction and When Should It Be Treated?". Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology. 24 (1): 77–92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011. ISSN   1086-3303. PMC   5378292 . PMID   28381923.
  5. ↑ "The science behind a broken heart". The State of Queensland (Queensland Health). 2017-01-08. Archived from the original on 30 September 2020. Retrieved 2022-01-26.
  6. 1 2 Toohey, Peter (1992). "Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia". Illinois Classical Studies. 17 (2): 265–286. JSTOR   23064324 . Retrieved 20 December 2021.
  7. ↑ Tallis, Frank. "Is Love a Mental Illness?". Archived from the original on 12 September 2017. Retrieved 26 March 2014.
  8. ↑ Harris, James C. (1 June 2012). "Lovesickness: Erasistratus Discovering the Cause of Antiochus' Disease" . Archives of General Psychiatry. 69 (6): 549. doi:10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2012.105. PMID   22664546 . Retrieved 20 December 2021.
  9. ↑ Toohey, Peter (2004). Melancholy, love, and time : boundaries of the self in ancient literature. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press. pp. 59–103. ISBN   9780472025596.
  10. 1 2 Toohey, Peter (Fall 1992). "Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia". University of Illinois Press. 17 (2): 265–286. JSTOR   23064324 . Retrieved 20 December 2021.
  11. ↑ Virgil (1993). The Aeneid. London: Harvill. ISBN   978-0002713689.
  12. 1 2 3 Kalas, Laura (13 February 2017). "Being lovesick was a real disease in the Middle Ages". The Conversation.
  13. ↑ Janet Malcolm, Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession (1988) p. 9
  14. ↑ Vaughn, Tricia. "Love sickness is real, and the high it provides looks a lot like cocaine usage". Article. The Crimson White. Archived from the original on 7 April 2014. Retrieved 28 March 2014.
  15. ↑ Tallis 2005
  16. 1 2 3 Tallis, Frank (18 February 2005a). "The Year of Relationships - Crazy for you" (PDF). The Psychologist. 18 (2): 72–74. Archived (PDF) from the original on 8 March 2023. Retrieved 2 October 2025.
  17. ↑ Bode, Adam (16 October 2023). "Romantic love evolved by co-opting mother-infant bonding". Frontiers in Psychology . 14 1176067. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1176067 . PMC   10616966 . PMID   37915523.
  18. ↑ Aron, Arthur; Fisher, Helen; Mashek, Debra J.; Strong, Greg; Li, Haifang; Brown, Lucy L. (2005). "Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love" . Journal of Neurophysiology. 94 (1): 327–337. doi:10.1152/jn.00838.2004. PMID   15928068. S2CID   396612.
  19. ↑ Tallis 2005, p. 79
  20. ↑ Fisher 2016, p. 21
  21. ↑ Langeslag, Sandra; Van Der Veen, Frederik; Fekkes, Durk (2012). "Blood Levels of Serotonin Are Differentially Affected by Romantic Love in Men and Women". Journal of Psychophysiology. 26 (2): 92–98. doi:10.1027/0269-8803/a000071. hdl: 1765/75067 .
  22. ↑ Bode, Adam; Kavanagh, Phillip S. (2025-06-01). "Variation exists in the expression of romantic love: A cluster analytic study of young adults experiencing romantic love". Personality and Individual Differences. 239 113108. doi: 10.1016/j.paid.2025.113108 . ISSN   0191-8869.
  23. 1 2 Fisher, Helen (March 1998). "Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction" . Human Nature . 9 (1): 23–52. doi:10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5. PMID   26197356 . Retrieved 18 February 2024.
  24. ↑ Leckman, James; Mayes, Linda (July 1999). "Preoccupations and Behaviors Associated with Romantic and Parental Love: Perspectives on the Origin of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder". Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 8 (3): 635–665. doi: 10.1016/S1056-4993(18)30172-X . PMID   10442234.
  25. 1 2 Marazziti, D.; Akiskal, H. S.; Rossi, A.; Cassano, G. B. (1999). "Alteration of the platelet serotonin transporter in romantic love". Psychol. Med. 29 (3): 741–745. doi:10.1017/S0033291798007946. PMID   10405096. S2CID   12630172.
  26. ↑ Bode, Adam; Kushnick, Geoff (2021). "Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love". Frontiers in Psychology. 12 573123. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123 . ISSN   1664-1078. PMC   8074860 . PMID   33912094.
  27. ↑ Bode, Adam; Kowal, Marta; Cannas Aghedu, Fabio; Kavanagh, Phillip S. (15 April 2025). "SSRI use is not associated with the intensity of romantic love, obsessive thinking about a loved one, commitment, or sexual frequency in a sample of young adults experiencing romantic love". Journal of Affective Disorders. 375: 472–477. doi: 10.1016/j.jad.2025.01.103 . PMID   39848471.
  28. 1 2 3 Zou, Zhiling; Song, Hongwen; Zhang, Yuting; Zhang, Xiaochu (21 September 2016). "Romantic Love vs. Drug Addiction May Inspire a New Treatment for Addiction". Frontiers in Psychology . 7: 1436. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01436 . PMC   5031705 . PMID   27713720.
  29. 1 2 Tallis 2005, pp. 216–218, 235: "There are certainly some striking similarities between love and addiction[.] [...] At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure, but the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain. [...] The 'addiction' is to a person, or an experience, not a chemical. [...] [O]ne of the characteristics shared by addicts and lovers is that they both obsess. The addict is always preoccupied by the next 'fix' or 'hit', while the lover is always preoccupied by the beloved. Such obsessions are associated with compulsive urges to seek out what is desired [...]."
  30. 1 2 Koob, George F; Volkow, Nora D (August 2016). "Neurobiology of addiction: a neurocircuitry analysis". The Lancet Psychiatry. 3 (8): 760–773. doi:10.1016/S2215-0366(16)00104-8. PMC   6135092 . PMID   27475769.
  31. ↑ Grant, Jon; Potenza, Marc; Weinstein, Aviv; Gorelick, David (21 June 2010). "Introduction to Behavioral Addictions". The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse . 36 (5): 233–241. doi:10.3109/00952990.2010.491884. PMC   3164585 . PMID   20560821.
  32. 1 2 Fisher, Helen; Xu, Xiaomeng; Aron, Arthur; Brown, Lucy (9 May 2016). "Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other". Frontiers in Psychology . 7: 687. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687 . PMC   4861725 . PMID   27242601.
  33. 1 2 3 Berridge, Kent; Robinson, Terry (2016). "Liking, wanting, and the incentive-sensitization theory of addiction". American Psychologist . 71 (8): 670–679. doi:10.1037/amp0000059. PMC   5171207 . PMID   27977239.
  34. ↑ Berridge, Kent; Robinson, Terry; Aldridge, J. Wayne (February 2009). "Dissecting components of reward: 'liking', 'wanting', and learning". Current Opinion in Pharmacology . 9 (1): 65–73. doi:10.1016/j.coph.2008.12.014. PMC   2756052 . PMID   19162544.
  35. ↑ Robinson, Terry E.; Berridge, Kent C. (2025-01-17). "The Incentive-Sensitization Theory of Addiction 30 Years On". Annual Review of Psychology. 76 (1): 29–58. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-011624-024031. ISSN   0066-4308. PMC   11773642 . PMID   39094061.
  36. ↑ Shakespeare, William (1985). Romeo and Juliet . CBC Enterprises. ISBN   9780887941344.
  37. ↑ Yri, Kirsten; Meyer, Stephen C., eds. (2020). "Medievalistic Melancholia and Lovesickness". The Oxford Handbook of Music and Medievalism. Oxford University Press. p. 552. ISBN   9780190658465.

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