You Never Can Tell (play)

You Never Can Tell
Olof and Frida Winnerstrand on stage 1908, as Valentine and Gloria
Written by	Bernard Shaw
Date premiered	26 November 1899
Place premiered	Royalty Theatre, by the Stage Society
Original language	English
Subject	A dentist falls in love and a family accidentally meet the father they have never known
Genre	comedy
Setting	A seaside town

You Never Can Tell is an 1897 four-act play by Bernard Shaw that debuted at the Royalty Theatre. It was published as part of a volume of Shaw's plays entitled Plays Pleasant.

Characters and original casts

Role	1899	1900	1905
Valentine, dentist	Yorke Stephens	Yorke Stephens	Harley Granville-Barker
Gloria Clandon, the eldest daughter	Margaret Halstan	Mabel Terry-Lewis	Tita Brand
Walter (aka William), the waiter	James Welch	James Welch	Louis Calvert
Dolly Clandon, twin to Philip	Winifred Fraser	Audrey Ford	Sydney Fairbrother
Philip Clandon, twin to Dolly	Roland Bottomley	W. Graham Browne	Norman Page
Mrs Clandon, the mother	Elsie Chester	Elsie Chester	Mrs Theodore Wright
Fergus Crampton, the landlord and father	Hermann Vezin	Hermann Vezin	J. D. Bevridge
Finch McComas, a solicitor	Sydney Warden	George Raiemond	J. H. Barnes
Bohun, QC (Queen's Counsel)	Charles Charrington	Charles Charrington	Nigel Playfair
Parlor-maid	Mabel Hardinge	Alice Powell	Hazel Thompson
Jo, another waiter	Edward Knoblauch	Leopold Profeit	—

Produced under the direction of James Welch. This was a one-off private performance. ^[1] The play was not presented in public until 1900 when six matinee performances were given at the Strand Theatre. ^[2] The first run of evening and matinee performances was at the Court Theatre in 1905. ^[3]

Plot

The play is set in a seaside town and tells the story of Mrs Clandon and her three children, Dolly, Phillip and Gloria, who have just returned to England after an eighteen-year stay in Madeira.

The children have no idea who their father is and, through a comedy of errors, end up inviting him to a family lunch. At the same time, a dentist named Valentine has fallen in love with the eldest daughter, Gloria, who considers herself a modern woman and claims to have no interest in love or marriage.

The play continues with a comedy of errors and confused identities, with the friendly and wise waiter, Walter (most commonly referred to by the characters as "William," because Dolly thinks he resembles Shakespeare), dispensing his wisdom with the titular phrase "You Never Can Tell."

Setting

Time: One Day in August 1896

Place: An English seaside resort

Act I

A dentist's operating room

Act II

The Terrace of the Marine Hotel

Act III

The Clandons' sitting room at the Marine Hotel

Act IV

The Clandons' sitting room at the Marine Hotel – Later at night

In performance

You Never Can Tell has also been performed at the Shaw Festival, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario several times: in 1963, 1973, 1979, 1988, 1995, 2005 and most recently in 2015. 'You Never Can Tell' aired on 'BBC Play of the Month' on October 30, 1977, with Robert Powell as Valentine, Judy Parfitt as Mrs Clandon and Cyril Cusack as the Waiter ^[4] ·

Audio adaptations

The BBC broadcast a production on 31 July 1971 starring Freddie Jones as William the Waiter, Prunella Scales as Gloria Clandon, Denys Hawthorne as Valentine, Godfrey Kenton as Mr Crampton, Jo Manning Wilson as Dolly, Lockwood West as Mr McComas and Nigel Anthony as Philip. ^[5]

The CBC broadcast a production in 1973 with Frances Hyland as Mrs Clandon, Tony Van Bridge as Mr Crampton, Chris Wiggins as William the Waiter, Maureen Fitzgerald as Gloria, Drew Russell as Valentine and William Osler as Mr Bohun.

Another BBC production was broadcast on 29 September 2013 directed by Martin Jarvis and starring Ian Ogilvy as William the Waiter, Jamie Bamber as Valentine, Christopher Neame as Mr Crampton, Moira Quirk as Dolly, Adam Godley as Mr McComas and Rosalind Ayres as Mrs Clandon. ^[6]

References

1. Wearing (1976), p. 843
2. Wearing (1981), p. 23
3. Wearing 1981, p. 366
4. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076942/ ^{[ user-generated source ]}
5. "Saturday-Night Theatre You Never Can Tell". The Radio Times (2490): 17. 31 July 1971. Archived from the original on 13 January 2018 – via BBC Genome.
6. "BBC Radio 3 - Drama on 3, You Never Can Tell". BBC.

External links

• ​You Never Can Tell​ at the Internet Broadway Database
• You Never Can Tell at Standard Ebooks
• You Never Can Tell public domain audiobook at LibriVox
• Costume sketches and set designs by Motley Theatre Design Group – Motley Collection of Theatre & Costume Design