Flying monkeys (psychology)

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Flying monkeys is a phrase used in popular psychology mainly in the context of narcissistic abuse. They are people who act on behalf of a narcissist to a third party, usually for an abusive purpose. [1] [2] The phrase has also been used to refer to people who act on behalf of a psychopath for a similar purpose. [3] An alternative word is apaths. [4] Abuse by proxy (or proxy abuse) is a closely related or synonymous concept. [5]

Popular psychology is the concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that are purportedly based on psychology and that find credence among and pass muster with the populace. The concept is cognate with the human potential movement of the 1950s and 1960s.

Narcissistic abuse refers to any abuse by a narcissist, particularly emotional abuse in parent-child and adult-to-adult relationships. The term was coined in 1999 by Sam Vaknin as the name of his support group for victims of narcissists.

Contents

Flying monkeys are distinct from enablers. Enablers just allow or cover for the narcissist's (abuser's) own bad behavior. [6] The phrase, originally winged monkeys, is derived from L. Frank Baum's classic children's novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz . The wicked witch sent them to carry out her attacks. [7]

In psychotherapy and mental health, enabling has a positive sense of empowering individuals, or a negative sense of encouraging dysfunctional behavior.

Winged monkeys fictional character group from the Oz series by L. Frank Baum

Winged monkeys are fictional characters created by American author L. Frank Baum in his classic children's novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900). The winged monkeys are exactly what the name implies: jungle monkeys with powerful bird-like feathered wings attached to their shoulders which allow them to fly. They are most notably remembered from the famous 1939 musical movie by MGM. Ever since, they have taken their own place in popular culture, regularly referenced in comedic or ironic situations as a source of evil or fear.

L. Frank Baum Childrens writer

Lyman Frank Baum was an American author chiefly famous for his children's books, particularly The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and its sequels. He wrote 14 novels in the Oz series, plus 41 other novels, 83 short stories, over 200 poems, and at least 42 scripts. He made numerous attempts to bring his works to the stage and the nascent medium of film; the 1939 adaptation of the first Oz book would become a landmark of 20th-century cinema. His works anticipated such century-later commonplaces as television, augmented reality, laptop computers, wireless telephones, women in high-risk and action-heavy occupations, and the ubiquity of advertising on clothing.

Identity

Flying monkeys can be anyone who believes the narcissist's fake persona including the narcissist's spouse, child, friend, sibling or cousin. [8]

According to Atkinson, flying monkeys are usually unwittingly manipulated people who believe the smears about the victim although they may be another narcissist working in tandem. [2]

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious.

A smear campaign, also referred to as a smear tactic or simply a smear, is an effort to damage or call into question someone's reputation, by propounding negative propaganda. It can be applied to individuals or groups.

According to Vaknin, proxy abusers can be: [5]

Tactics

The flying monkey does the narcissist’s bidding to inflict additional torment on the target. It may consist of spying, spreading gossip, threatening, painting the narcissist as the victim (victim playing) and the target as the perpetrator (victim blaming). Despite this, the narcissist does not hesitate to make flying monkeys his or her scapegoats when and if needed. [8] [9]

Gossip idle talk or rumor, especially about personal or private affairs of others

Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; the act is also known as dishing or tattling.

Victim playing is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, or attention seeking.

Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible. There is a greater tendency to blame victims of rape than victims of robbery if victims and perpetrators know each other.

The flying monkeys may make it seem like the narcissist is not really involved. They are likely to have no idea that they are being used. [9]

Multiple flying monkeys are likely to act as a mobbing force against a victim. [10]

In divorce conflicts, the children can be used by one party as a weapon against the other party. [5]

Motivation

The motives behind the narcissist's support group can be multiple. Service providers may be seduced by the narcissist's charm into taking a one-sided perspective. [11] Family members may in good faith attempt to sort out the "problematic one". [12] The codependent may seek to participate in the narcissist's omnipotence, or use them as sanction for their own aggressive instincts. [13] Alternatively, others may simply be swept up by force of personality to define the situation along the narcissist's own lines. [14]

See also

Related Research Articles

Alienation may refer to:

Parental alienation is the process, and the result, of psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent and/or other family members. It is a distinctive form of psychological abuse and family violence, towards both the child and the rejected family members, that occurs almost exclusively in association with family separation or divorce, particularly where legal action is involved. The most common cause is one parent wishing to exclude the other parent from the life of their child, though family members or friends, as well as professionals involved with the family, may contribute to the process. Parental alienation often leads to the long-term, or even lifelong, estrangement of a child from one parent and other family members and, as a significant adverse childhood experience and form of childhood trauma, results in significantly increased lifetime risks of both mental and physical illness.

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a term introduced by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner in 1985 to describe a distinctive suite of behaviors in children that includes showing extreme but unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent. Observed repeatedly in families involved in child custody litigation, these behaviors result from psychological manipulation or undue influence, typically by the other parent who may be attempting to prevent an ongoing relationship between a child and other family members after family separation or divorce. Use of the term "syndrome" has not been accepted by either the medical or legal communities and Gardner's research has been criticized by some legal and mental health scholars for lacking scientific validity and reliability. However, the derivative term parental alienation is recognized as a dynamic in some separating families.

Factitious disorder imposed on another Behavioral disorder in which an adult fakes an illness in another, most commonly their child

Factitious disorder imposed on another (FDIA), also known as Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSbP), is a condition where a caregiver creates the appearance of health problems in another person, typically their child. This may include injuring the child or altering test samples. They then present the person as being sick or injured. This occurs without a specific benefit to the caregiver. Permanent injury or death of the child may occur.

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self image and attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, which was popularly introduced in Sigmund Freud's essay On Narcissism (1914). The American Psychiatric Association has listed the classification narcissistic personality disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) since 1968, drawing on the historical concept of megalomania.

Malignant narcissism is a psychological syndrome comprising an extreme mix of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and sadism. Grandiose, and always ready to raise hostility levels, the malignant narcissist undermines families and organizations in which they are involved, and dehumanizes the people with whom they associate.

Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where one person will not communicate directly with another person, instead using a third person to relay communication to the second, thus forming a triangle. It also refers to a form of splitting in which one person manipulates a relationship between two parties by controlling communication between them.

Narcissistic rage is a psychological construct that describes a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is conceptualized as a perceived threat to a narcissist's self-esteem or self-worth. Narcissistic injury is a phrase used by Sigmund Freud in the 1920s; narcissistic wound and narcissistic blow are further, almost interchangeable terms. The term narcissistic rage was coined by Heinz Kohut in 1972.

Superficial charm is the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick and verbally facile.

A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically, narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and are particularly threatened by their children's growing independence. This results in a pattern of narcissistic attachment, with the child considered to exist solely to fulfill the parent's wishes and needs. Commonly, narcissistic parents attempt to force their children to treat themselves as puppets with threats of punishments such as emotional abuse. Relative to developmental psychology, narcissistic parenting will adversely affect children in the areas of reasoning, emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes as they mature. Within the realm of narcissistic parenting, personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of moulding and manipulating the child to satisfy the parents’ expectations.

Attention seeking behavior is to act in a way that is likely to elicit attention, usually to elicit validation from others. People are thought to engage in both positive and negative attention seeking behavior independent of the actual benefit or harm to health. Most behavior that is motivated by attention seeking is considered to be driven by self-consciousness and thus an externalization of personality rather than internal and self-motivated behavior. This type of influence on behavior can result in a potential loss of a person's sense of agency, personality disorder and the behavior associated with these conditions.

A false accusation is a claim or allegation of wrongdoing that is untrue and/or otherwise unsupported by facts. False accusations are also known as groundless accusations or unfounded accusations or false allegations or false claims. They can occur in any of the following contexts:

Sam Vaknin Israeli writer

Shmuel "Sam" Vaknin is an Israeli writer. He is the author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited (2001) and runs a private website about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). He meets criteria for a diagnosis of psychopathy.

True self and false self are psychological concepts often used in connection with narcissism.

Narcissistic leadership is a leadership style in which the leader is only interested in him/herself. Their priority is themselves – at the expense of their people/group members. This leader exhibits the characteristics of a narcissist: arrogance, dominance and hostility. It is a sufficiently common leadership style that it has acquired its own name. Narcissism is most often described as unhealthy and destructive. It has been described as "driven by unyielding arrogance, self-absorption, and a personal egotistic need for power and admiration".

Abusive power and control is the way that an abusive person gains and maintains power and control over another person in order to subject that victim to psychological, physical, sexual, or financial abuse. The motivations of the abuser are varied and can include devaluation, envy, personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, or just for the sake of the enjoyment of exercising power and control.

Narcissism in the workplace is a serious issue and may have a major detrimental impact on an entire organization. Narcissistic individuals in the workplace are more likely to engage in counterproductive work behavior, especially when their self-esteem is threatened. Narcissism is both a personality trait and a personality disorder, generally assessed with the Narcissistic Personality Inventory.

References

  1. ↑ How Narcissists Took Over the World Vice Media 12 Sep 2016
  2. 1 2 Atkinson A (2015) Gaslighting, Love Bombing and Flying Monkeys: The Ultimate Toxic Relationship Survival Guide for Victims and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
  3. ↑ Toner BC, Hathaway AE (2012) Bill the Sociopathic Flying Monkey
  4. ↑ Dodgson L Narcissists often recruit people called 'apaths' to help with their games — here's why they're dangerous Business Insider 28 Feb 2018
  5. 1 2 3 Vaknin S (2010) Abuse By Proxy: From Smear Campaigns to 3rd-party Stalking and Abuse
  6. ↑ Ziehl N Coping with narcissistic personality disorder in the White House Quartz 06 Dec 2016
  7. ↑ Carlson, Rik. "The Flying Monkeys of Burlington, Vermont". monkeyswithwings.com. Retrieved January 17, 2011.
  8. 1 2 Bailey-Rug C (2016) It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish
  9. 1 2 Moore, J., Are you being used as a flying monkey for a narcissist? 23 Mar 2015
  10. ↑ Flying Monkeys Denied C-PTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Website
  11. ↑ S. Nightshade, A Pre-Book and a Victim's Guide to Surviving the Narcissist (2016)
  12. ↑ M. McGoldrick, You Can Go Home Again (London 1995) p. 198
  13. ↑ Otto Fenichel, The Psychoanalytic Theory of Neurosis (London 1946) p. 510 and p. 498-500
  14. ↑ F. Wittels, Sigmund Freud (London 1924) p. 34


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