 | The examples and perspective in this article may not represent a worldwide view of the subject.(September 2023) |
A marriage proposal is a custom or ritual, common in Western cultures, in which one member of a couple asks the other for their hand in marriage. If accepted, it marks the initiation of engagement, a mutual promise of later marriage.
In Western cultures, a proposal is traditionally made by a man to a woman, while genuflecting in front of her. The ritual often involves the formal asking of the question "Will you marry me, ...?" and the presentation of an engagement ring (often in a small velvet box), which he may place on her finger if she accepts. [1] [2]
Before proposing, a man traditionally privately asks permission from the father of the woman he hopes to marry. [3] When practiced in the modern day, this is usually understood as a formality. [4]
The vast majority of proposals in the United States [5] [6] and Australia [7] are made by men. In partiarchal society proposals by women may not be taken seriously or treated as "real" proposals. [8]
Proposals by women are increasingly accepted in Western culture, with most Americans [5] and Australians [7] approving of women proposing marriage to men. Jewelry companies have begun to advertise engagement rings for women proposing to men. [9] Folk traditions in countries including Scotland, Ireland, England, and Finland allow women to propose on leap days, sometimes with any man rejecting such a proposal being expected to pay a forfeit to his suitor, usually through a gift of clothing. [10] [11] [12] Reasons some women state for rejecting gender equality for marriage proposal include fear of rejection and preferring benevolent sexism. [13] Some women lead the marriage proposal in private, while publicly showcasing gender essential marriage proposal conventions. [13]
Queen Victoria had to propose to Prince Albert due royal tradition in Britain that no one can propose to a reigning monarch. [14]
Same-gender couples, to whom gendered proposal traditions do not apply, usually keep some elements of customary ritual while altering others. In some cases, there may be multiple proposals, and each partner may propose to the other. [15]
The proposal itself is often supposed to be a surprise, although in practice this is rarely actually the case. [16] Surveys have found that most proposals are not surprises, and most wedding engagements begin with a conversation in which the parties mutually agree to wed. [17]
Not all engagements begin with a proposal of marriage. Historically, many marriages have been arranged by parents or matchmakers, and these customs are still sometimes practiced in the modern day. Even when the decision to marry is made by the couple, it may not be communicated between them directly; for instance, in the traditional Japanese custom of Omiai, the formal decision to pursue marriage or to turn it down (Kotowari) is communicated between the couple's respective matchmakers. [18]
Couples in many Christian denominations have the option of receiving the Rite of Betrothal (also known as 'blessing an engaged couple' or 'declaration of intention'), which often includes prayer, Bible readings, blessing of engagement rings, and a blessing of the couple. [19] [20] [21]
A white wedding is a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding originating in Great Britain.
An engagement ring, also known as a betrothal ring, is a ring indicating that the person wearing it is engaged to be married, especially in Western cultures. A ring is presented as an engagement gift by a partner to their prospective spouse when they propose marriage to represent a formal agreement to future marriage. In most Western countries, engagement rings are usually worn only by women, and they are typically adorned with diamonds. In some countries, partners wear matching rings, and engagement rings may also be used as wedding rings. In the Anglosphere, the ring is customarily worn on the left hand ring finger, but customs vary across the world.
An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself. During this period, a couple is said to be fiancés, 'betrothed', 'intended', 'affianced', 'engaged to be married', or simply 'engaged'. Future brides and grooms may be called fiancée (feminine) or fiancé (masculine), 'the betrothed', a 'wife-to-be' or 'husband-to-be', respectively. The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.
A bride is a woman who is about to be married or who is a newlywed.
A wife is a woman in a marital relationship. A woman who has separated from her partner continues to be a wife until their marriage is legally dissolved with a divorce judgment. On the death of her partner, a wife is referred to as a widow. The rights and obligations of a wife to her partner and her status in the community and law vary between cultures and have varied over time.
Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some Western traditional wedding ceremonies. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman and often the bride's close friend or relative. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.
Breach of promise is a common-law tort, abolished in many jurisdictions. It was also called breach of contract to marry, and the remedy awarded was known as heart balm.
In Islamic law (sharia), marriage is a legal and social contract between two individuals. Marriage is an act of Islam and is strongly recommended. Polygyny is permitted in Islam under some conditions, but polyandry is forbidden.
Etiquette rules in the United States and Canada generally apply to all individuals, unlike cultures with more formal class structures, such as those with nobility and royalty.
Marriage in Pakistan pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women. Despite their local and regional variations, marriages in Pakistan generally follow Islamic marital jurisprudence. Marriages are not only seen as a union between a husband and a wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. These traditions extend to other countries around in the world where Overseas Pakistani communities exist.
An engagement party, also known as a betrothal party or fort, is a party held to celebrate a couple's recent engagement and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party, but many modern couples host their own celebration.
Arabic weddings are ceremonies of matrimony that contain Arab influences or Arabic culture.
In the United States and Canada, weddings follow traditions often based on religion, culture, and social norms. Most wedding traditions in the United States and Canada were assimilated from other, generally European, countries. Marriages in the U.S. and Canada are typically arranged by the participants and ceremonies may either be religious or civil.
Traditional marriage customs in the Philippines and Filipino wedding practices pertain to the characteristics of marriage and wedding traditions established and adhered by them Filipino men and women in the Philippines after a period of adoption courtship and engagement. These traditions extend to other countries around the world where Filipino communities exist. Kasalan is the Filipino word for "wedding", while its root word – kasal – means "marriage". The present-day character of marriages and weddings in the Philippines were primarily influenced by the permutation of Christian, both Catholic and Protestant, Hindu, Islam, Chinese, Spanish, and American models.
Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding ceremonies and marriage rituals prevailing within the Muslim world. Although Islamic marriage customs and relations vary depending on country of origin and government regulations, both Muslim men and women from around the world are guided by Islamic laws and practices specified in the Quran. Islamic marital jurisprudence allows Muslim men to be married to multiple women.
Engagement chicken or marry me chicken is an American lemon and herb flavored roast chicken dish, purported to cause boyfriends to propose marriage. The recipe was created in 1982 among the staff of Glamour magazine.
A marriage proposal planner is a professional event coordinator who specializes in planning marriage proposals. A proposal planner is a relatively new profession in the wedding industry. Proposal planners suggest marriage proposal ideas, scout proposal locations, negotiate rates with vendors, draw up contracts, hire photographers, create romantic setups, acquire permits, and help clients choose engagement rings. Proposal planners interview the proposer and ask questions about the couple. They then use those answers to create a unique proposal idea.
Bachelor's Day, sometimes known as Ladies' Privilege, is an Irish tradition by which women are allowed to propose to men on Leap Day, 29 February, based on a legend of Saint Bridget and Saint Patrick. It once had legal basis in Scotland and England.
Wedding customs in Ethiopia vary among the tribes of the country.
1. Arrange the lady on a sofa. 2. Kneel in front of her. That should put her into shock. If she is still able to talk and says something like, "What do you think you're doing?" simply smile mysteriously. 3. Pull out of your pocket a small velvet box with an engagement ring inside. That should put her back into shock, giving you the opportunity to perform the next step, while you are still holding the box. 4. Say "I can't live without you. Will you marry me?" Got that? Not "I think we might make a go of it," or "My mother says she's tired of her friends asking when we're getting married," or "I've talked to my tax consultant, and I think we can get married without getting hit too badly." 5. Open the box, take her hand and put the ring on her finger. 6. Congratulations. You are now engaged.
The majority of the proposals in this study contained five elements. Three were found in every proposal: (1) the man asking the woman to marry him, (2) the man presenting the woman a ring, and (3) the man orchestrating the proposal as a "surprise." Another element, the man getting down on one knee, was found in 17 of the 20 proposals. The final element, the man asking permission of the woman's father, was found in 12 of the 20 proposals.
If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father's financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl's father or her guardian, and ask his consent. If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father's approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes [...] Usually, however, when the young man enters the study or office of her father, the latter has a perfectly good idea of what he has come to say and, having allowed his attentions, is probably willing to accept his daughter's choice.
Asking the father for his daughter's hand may have been superfluous—as a gentleman of Miss Manners' acquaintance replied in similar circumstances, "Why not? You've already had the rest of her"—but you nevertheless found it charming.
Mind you, [Miss Manners] believes it is as appropriate for the lady to propose to the gentleman as it is for a gentleman to propose to a lady.
A universal element in the proposals of heterosexual couples we interviewed was that the proposer was the male member of the couple and the audience was the female member. Breaking this rule, as only the female member can do, did not result in an official engagement. [...] Another woman twice asked her boyfriend to marry her and even gave him a ring. He wore the ring but did not take her proposals seriously. The couple did not consider themselves engaged until he asked her to marry him.
Tradition dictates that men are expected to play the active role of initiating the proposal, while women are expected to adopt a passive and reactive role (Schweingruber, Anahita, & Berns, 2004). Although in some European countries – such as Finland and Ireland – there is the custom that women are permitted to propose during a leap year, this is the exception that proves the cultural rule.
As royal tradition dictated that no one could propose to a reigning monarch, Victoria asked Albert to marry her on 15 October 1839.
Now that weddings have become drama festivals, the marriage proposal has turned into a pageant that serves as the curtain raiser. Unlike the main events, this has a sole producer, the future bridegroom, and what he is supposed to produce is—a surprise. Miss Manners can imagine that it is not easy to surprise a lady whose relatives have been asking her for years if the two of them were ever getting married, and who may even have been asking the question herself. However, valiant tries are made. Romantic trips provide the scenery, and a hidden ring (preferably not hidden in something the lady goes ahead and drinks) is the prop. [...] The truth is that surprise was never a successful element of the proposal. Ladies who blushed and protested that they had never thought of such a thing (but would start doing so right away) were merely meeting expectations.
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